I had a leg to stand on now. “A phony, huh? Why I’ll bet I could put a haunt on you that would make that hair of yours stand up on end, if you have guts enough to go where I tell you to.”
“You’ll bet? That’s a laugh. Listen at that, gang.” He laughed, then turned to me and talked through one side of his mouth. “All right, you wanted it. Come on, rich guy; you’re called. Fred’ll hold stakes. How about ten of your lousy bucks for every one of mine? Here, Fred—hold this sawbuck.”
“I’ll give you twenty to one,” I said half hysterically. “And I’ll take you to a place where you’ll run up against the homeliest, plumb-meanest old haunt you ever heard of.”
The crowd roared. Sam laughed with them, but didn’t try to back out. With any of that gang, a bet was a bet. He’d taken me up, and he’d set odds, and he was bound. I just nodded and put two century notes into Fred Bellew’s hand. Fred and Sam climbed into the car, and just as we started, Sam leaned out and waved.
“See you in hell, fellas,” he said. “I’m goin’ to raise me a ghost, and one of us is going to scare the other one to death!”
I honked my horn to drown out the whooping and hollering from the sidewalk and got out of there. I turned up the parkway and headed out of town.
“Where to?” Fred asked after a while.
“Stick around,” I said, not knowing.
There must be some place not far from here where I could find an honest-to-God haunt, I thought, one that would make Sam backtrack and set me up with the boys again. I opened the compartment in the dashboard and let Ikey out. Ikey was a little twisted imp who’d got his tail caught in between two sheets of steel when they were assembling the car, and had to stay there until it was junked.
“Hey, Ike,” I whispered. He looked up, the gleam of the compartment light shining redly in his bright little eyes. “Whistle for the professor, will you? I don’t want to yell for him because those mugs in the back seat will hear me. They can’t hear you.”
“O.K., boss,” he said; and putting his fingers to his lips, he gave vent to a blood-curdling, howling scream.
That was the prof’s call-letters, as it were. The old man flew ahead of the car, circled around and slid in beside me through the window, which I’d opened a crack for him.
“My goodness,” he panted, “I wish you wouldn’t summon me to a location which is traveling with this high degree of celerity. It was all I could do to catch up with you.”
“Don’t give me that, professor,” I whispered. “You can catch a stratoliner if you want to. Say, I have a guy in the back who wants to get a real scare from a ghost. Know of any around here?”
The professor put on his ghostly pince-nez. “Why, yes. Remember my telling you about the Wolfmeyer place?”
“Golly—he’s bad.”
“He’ll serve your purpose admirably. But don’t ask me to go there with you. None of us ever associates with Wolfmeyer. And for Heaven’s sake, be careful.”
“I guess I can handle him. Where is it?”
He gave me explicit directions, bade me good night and left. I was a little surprised; the professor traveled around with me a great deal, and I’d never seen him refuse a chance to see some new scenery. I shrugged it off and went my way. I guess I just didn’t know any better.
I headed out of town and into the country to a certain old farmhouse. Wolfmeyer, a Pennsylvania Dutchman, had hanged himself there. He had been, and was, a bad egg. Instead of being a nice guy about it all, he was the rebel type. He knew perfectly well that unless he did plenty of good to make up for the evil, he’d be stuck where he was for the rest of eternity. That didn’t seem to bother him at all. He got surly and became a really bad spook. Eight people had died in that house since the old man rotted off his own rope. Three of them were tenants who had rented the place, and three were hobos, and two were psychic investigators. They’d all hanged themselves. That’s the way Wolfmeyer worked. I think he really enjoyed haunting. He certainly was thorough about it anyway.
I didn’t want to do any real harm to Happy Sam. I just wanted to teach him a lesson. And look what happened!
We reached the place just before midnight. No one had said much, except that I told Fred and Sam about Wolfmeyer, and pretty well what was to be expected from him. They did a good deal of laughing about it, so I just shut up and drove. The next item of conversation was Fred’s, when he made the terms of the bet. To win, Sam was to stay in the house until dawn. He wasn’t to call for help and he wasn’t to leave. He had to bring in a coil of rope, tie a noose in one end and string the other up on “Wolfmeyer’s Beam”—the great oaken beam on which the old man had hanged himself, and eight others after him. This was an added temptation to Wolfmeyer to work on Happy Sam, and was my idea. I was to go in with Sam, to watch him in case the thing became too dangerous. Fred was to stay in the car a hundred yards down the road and wait.
I parked the car at the agreed distance and Sam and I got out. Sam had my tow rope over his shoulder, already noosed. Fred had quieted down considerably, and his face was dead serious.
“I don’t think I like this,” he said, looking up the road at the house. It hunched back from the highway, and looked like a malign being deep in thought.
I said, “Well, Sam? Want to pay up now and call it quits?”
He followed Fred’s gaze. It sure was a dreary-looking place, and his liquor had fizzed away. He thought a minute, then shrugged and grinned. I had to admire the rat. “Hell, I’ll go through with it. Can’t bluff me with scenery, phony.”
Surprisingly, Fred piped up, “I don’t think he’s a phony, Sam.”
The resistance made Sam stubborn, though I could see by his face that he knew better. “Come on, phony,” he said and swung up the road.
We climbed into the house by way of a cellar door that slanted up to a window on the first floor. I hauled out a flashlight and lit the way to the beam. It was only one of many that delighted in turning the sound of one’s footsteps into laughing whispers that ran round and round the rooms and halls and would not die. Under the famous beam the dusty floor was dark-stained.
I gave Sam a hand in fixing the rope, and then clicked off the light. It must have been tough on him then. I didn’t mind, because I knew I could see anything before it got to me, and even then, no ghost could see me. Not only that, for me the walls and floors and ceilings were lit with the phosphorescent many-hued glow of the ever-present ghost plants. For its eerie effect I wished Sam could see the ghost-molds feeding greedily on the stain under the beam.
Sam was already breathing heavily, but I knew it would take more than just darkness and silence to get his goat. He’d have to be alone, and then he’d have to have a visitor or so.
“So long, kid,” I said, slapping him on the shoulder, and I turned and walked out of the room.
I let him hear me go out of the house and then I crept silently back. It was without doubt the most deserted place I have ever seen. Even ghosts kept away from it, excepting, of course, Wolfmeyer’s. There was just the luxurious vegetation, invisible to all but me, and the deep silence rippled by Sam’s breath. After ten minutes or so I knew for certain that Happy Sam had more guts than I’d ever have credited him with. He had to be scared. He couldn’t—or wouldn’t—scare himself.
I crouched down against the walls of an adjoining room and made myself comfortable. I figured Wolfmeyer would be along pretty soon. I hoped earnestly that I could stop the thing before it got too far. No use in making this any more than a good lesson for a wiseacre. I was feeling pretty smug about it all, and I was totally unprepared for what happened.
I was looking toward the doorway opposite when I realized that for some minutes there had been the palest of pale glows there. It brightened as I watched; brightened and flickered gently. It was green, the green of things moldy and rotting away; and with it came a subtly harrowing stench. It was the smell of flesh so very dead that it had ceased to be really odorous. It was utterly horrible, and I was honest
ly scared out of my wits. It was some moments before the comforting thought of my invulnerability came back to me, and I shrank lower and closer to the wall and watched.
And Wolfmeyer came in.
His was the ghost of an old, old man. He wore a flowing, filthy robe, and his bare forearms thrust out in front of him were stringy and strong. His head, with its tangled hair and beard, quivered on a broken, ruined neck like the blade of a knife just thrown into soft wood. Each slow step as he crossed the room set his head to quivering again. His eyes were alight; red they were, with deep green flames buried in them. His canine teeth had lengthened into yellow, blunt tusks, and they were like pillars supporting his crooked grin. The putrescent green glow was a horrid halo about him. He was a bright and evil thing.
He passed me completely unconscious of my presence and paused at the door of the room where Sam waited by the rope. He stood just outside it, claws extended, the quivering of his head slowly dying. He stared in at Sam, and suddenly opened his mouth and howled. It was a quiet, deadly sound, one that might have come from the throat of a distant dog, but, though I couldn’t see into the other room, I knew that Sam had jerked his head around and was staring at the ghost. Wolfmeyer raised his arms a trifle, seemed to totter a bit, and then moved into the room.
I snapped myself out of the crawling terror that gripped me and scrambled to my feet. If I didn’t move fast—
Tiptoeing swiftly to the door, I stopped just long enough to see Wolfmeyer beating his arms about erratically over his head, a movement that made his robe flutter and his whole figure pulsate in the green light; just long enough to see Sam on his feet, wide-eyed, staggering back and back toward the rope. He clutched his throat and opened his mouth and made no sound, and his head tilted, his neck bent, his twisted face gaped at the ceiling as he clumped backward away from the ghost and into the ready noose. And then I leaned over Wolfmeyer’s shoulder, put my lips to his ear, and said:
“Boo!”
I almost laughed. Wolfmeyer gave a little squeak, jumped about ten feet, and, without stopping to look around, high-tailed out of the room so fast that he was just a blur. That was one scared old spook!
At the same time Happy Sam straightened, his face relaxed and relieved, and sat down with a bump under the noose. That was as close a thing as ever I want to see. He sat there, his face soaking wet with cold sweat, his hands between his knees, staring limply at his feet.
“That’ll show you!” I exulted, and walked over to him. “Pay up, scum, and may you starve for that week’s pay!” He didn’t move. I guess he was plenty shocked.
“Come on!” I said. “Pull yourself together, man! Haven’t you seen enough? That old fellow will be back any second now. On your feet!”
He didn’t move.
“Sam!”
He didn’t move.
“Sam!” I clutched at his shoulder. He pitched over sideways and lay still. He was quite dead.
I didn’t do anything and for a while I didn’t say anything. Then I said hopelessly, as I knelt there, “Aw, Sam. Sam—cut it out, fella.”
After I minute I rose slowly and started for the door. I’d taken three steps when I stopped. Something was happening! I rubbed my hand over my eyes. Yes, it is—it was getting dark! The vague luminescence of the vines and flowers of the ghost world was getting dimmer, fading, fading—
But that had never happened before!
No difference, I told myself desperately, it’s happening now, all right. I got to get out of here!
See? You see. It was the stuff—the damn stuff from the Shottle Bop. It was wearing off! When Sam died it … it stopped working on me! Was this what I had to pay for the bottle? Was this what was to happen if I used it for revenge?
The light was almost gone—and now it was gone. I couldn’t see a thing in the room but one of the doors. Why could I see the doorway? What was that pale-green light that set off its dusty frame?
Wolfmeyer! I got to get out of here!
I couldn’t see ghosts anymore. Ghosts could see me now. I ran. I darted across the dark room and smashed into the wall on the other side. I reeled back from it, blood spouting from between the fingers I slapped to my face. I ran again. Another wall clubbed me. Where was that other door? I ran again, and again struck a wall. I screamed and ran again. I tripped over Sam’s body. My head went through the noose. It whipped down on my windpipe, and my neck broke with an agonizing crunch. I floundered there for half a minute, and then dangled.
Dead as hell, I was. Wolfmeyer, he laughed and laughed.
Fred found me and Sam in the morning. He took our bodies away in the car. Now I’ve got to stay here and haunt this damn old house. Me and Wolfmeyer.
Yesterday Was Monday
HARRY WRIGHT ROLLED OVER and said something spelled “Bzzzzhha-a-aw!” He chewed a bit on a mouthful of dry air and spat it out, opened one eye to see if it really would open, opened the other and closed the first, closed the second, swung his feet onto the floor, opened them again and stretched. This was a daily occurrence, and the only thing that made it remarkable at all was that he did it on a Wednesday morning, and—
Yesterday was Monday.
Oh, he knew it was Wednesday all right. It was partly that, even though he knew yesterday was Monday, there was a gap between Monday and now; and that must have been Tuesday. When you fall asleep and lie there all night without dreaming, you know, when you wake up, that time has passed. You’ve done nothing that you can remember; you’ve had no particular thoughts, no way to gauge time, and yet you know that some hours have passed. So it was with Harry Wright. Tuesday had gone wherever your eight hours went last night.
But he hadn’t slept through Tuesday. Oh no. He never slept, as a matter of fact, more than six hours at a stretch, and there was no particular reason for him doing so now. Monday was the day before yesterday; he had turned in and slept his usual stretch, he had awakened, and it was Wednesday.
If felt like Wednesday. There was a Wednesdayish feel to the air.
Harry put on his socks and stood up. He wasn’t fooled. He knew what day it was. “What happened to yesterday?” he muttered. “Oh—yesterday was Monday.” That sufficed until he got his pajamas off. “Monday,” he mused, reaching for his underwear, “was quite a while back, seems as though.” If he had been the worrying type, he would have started then and there. But he wasn’t. He was an easygoing sort, the kind of man that gets himself into a rut and stays there until he is pushed out. That was why he was an automobile mechanic at twenty-three dollars a week; that’s why he had been one for eight years now, and would be from now on, if he could only find Tuesday and get back to work.
Guided by his reflexes, as usual, and with no mental effort at all, which was also usual, he finished washing, dressing, and making his bed. His alarm clock, which never alarmed because he was of such regular habits, said, as usual, six twenty-two when he paused on the way out, and gave his room the once-over. And there was a certain something about the place that made even this phlegmatic character stop and think.
It wasn’t finished.
The bed was there, and the picture of Joe Louis. There were the two chairs sharing their usual seven legs, the split table, the pipe-organ bedstead, the beige wallpaper with the two swans over and over and over, the tiny corner sink, the tilted bureau. But none of them were finished. Not that there were any holes in anything. What paint there had been in the first place was still there. But there was an odor of old cut lumber, a subtle, insistent air of building, about the room and everything in it. It was indefinable, inescapable, and Harry Wright stood there caught up in it, wondering. He glanced suspiciously around but saw nothing he could really be suspicious of. He shook his head, locked the door and went out into the hall.
On the steps a little fellow, just over three feet tall, was gently stroking the third step from the top with a razor-sharp chisel, shaping up a new scar in the dirty wood. He looked up as Harry approached, and stood up quickly.
“Hi,”
said Harry, taking in the man’s leather coat, his peaked cap, his wizened, bright-eyed little face. “Whatcha doing?”
“Touch-up,” piped the little man. “The actor in the third floor front has a nail in his right heel. He came in late Tuesday night and cut the wood here. I have to get it ready for Wednesday.”
“This is Wednesday,” Harry pointed out.
“Of course. Always has been. Always will be.”
Harry let that pass, started on down the stairs. He had achieved his amazing bovinity by making a practice of ignoring things he could not understand. But one thing bothered him—
“Did you say that feller in the third floor front was an actor?”
“Yes. They’re all actors, you know.”
“You’re nuts, friend,” said Harry bluntly. “That guy works on the docks.”
“Oh yes—that’s his part. That’s what he acts.”
“No kiddin’. An’ what does he do when he isn’t acting?”
“But he—Well, that’s all he does do! That’s all any of the actors do!”
“Gee—I thought he looked like a reg’lar guy, too,” said Harry. “An actor? ’Magine!”
“Excuse me,” said the little man, “but I’ve got to get back to work. We mustn’t let anything get by us, you know. They’ll be through Tuesday before long, and everything must be ready for them.”
Harry thought: this guy’s crazy nuts. He smiled uncertainly and went down to the landing below. When he looked back the man was cutting skillfully into the stair, making a neat little nail scratch. Harry shook his head. This was a screwy morning. He’d be glad to get back to the shop. There was a ’39 sedan down there with a busted rear spring. Once he got his mind on that he could forget this nonsense. That’s all that matters to a man in a rut. Work, eat, sleep, payday. Why even try to think anything else out?
The street was a riot of activity, but then it always was. But not quite this way. There were automobiles and trucks and buses around, aplenty, but none of them were moving. And none of them were quite complete. This was Harry’s own field; if there was anything he didn’t know about motor vehicles, it wasn’t very important. And through that medium he began to get the general idea of what was going on.
Microcosmic God Page 10
