"I don't want to think about it." What bothered her most was that she didn't mind Elis catching her at the time. Sure, it felt odd since she had always avoided him, like most of her classmates, but he hadn't actually done anything wrong.
"Why?"
"It's just...Oh, nevermind. You wouldn't understand." She didn't really understand what made her feel weird. Elis had never done anything to anyone. In fact, he started their junior year at MHS with rumors that he fled his homeland. Someone said he came to their small town as a refugee after the death of his family in a war no one knew much about, probably because he never said what country he was from. Her mother had also been a refugee and alone when she arrived in Minneapolis and met Scott.
But her mother was her mother. Elis was quiet and somber. A loner. He never talked to anyone. He simply existed, but at the same time not, like a shadow. Yet the widow, Mrs. Johnson, had taken him in. Okay, so maybe he couldn't be too bad if Mrs. Johnson always smiled at church with him at her side. Still, his quietness bothered Raea. What went on in his head?
"Try me."
When would Josh give up? Never.
"Oh, all right. How can I expect you to understand when you're not a girl?" She sighed heavily. "It's simple. Some guys are outgoing and easy to talk to—like you. Others are, let's just say, odd, like they're thinking something they shouldn't." That didn't seem right about Elis. He wasn't creepy in that way. What was it about him?
Josh glanced back and shrugged. "Just because someone doesn't talk much doesn't mean they have a dirty mind. Besides, Raea, all guys have dirty minds."
She so did not need to hear that from him. Josh was a good person. How could he have a dirty mind? Thinking of him thinking of girls in that way just seemed…weird. He was her friend, not a boyfriend, but a close friend she trusted.
"I didn't hear that," she said.
"At least I'm honest, but not every guy you know thinks about it all the time or sees women as just an object for their own gratification."
"Okay. I don't need to hear anymore." Why were they talking about this?
He chuckled. "Whatever. You don't even know him. None of us know him."
"Yeah, because he. Never. Talks." That didn't bother her. It was just...something.
"All right. Fine. Believe what you want. What about almost fainting? What happened?"
"When he bumped me, I had this flash of my mom and Scott." She lowered her voice to keep Elis from hearing her. Hopefully he took the hint, if he had overheard anything before then, and stayed away from her. "But in my sleep, I've been having the same dream over and over for a few weeks now. Not every night, but often enough. It's always the exact same. You're gonna love it—it's about angels."
That smirk on Josh's face made his thoughts clear. He looked far too self-satisfied.
"Don't go telling me about your 'Dark Angel' either. This is about mom. She's an angel in my dream and flying with a man who gets killed by the bad angels. She makes some sort of hole in the sky and disappears. Then I always wake up." That should satisfy him.
"Always the same?"
"Yeah. Exactly. Every detail." What happened to the gloating about angels?
"Angels, huh?"
"Yeah."
"I have no idea what it means—"
Raea almost smacked him for that. Thanks, Josh. Lotta help you are.
"But if you're having fainting spells and visions about your mom and dreaming about her as an angel, I'd guess you're looking at your grief and maybe anger. I don't know. Try lucid dreaming."
Cool. He didn't actually go into a spiel about angels, for once.
"Take control of the dream."
What good would that do? She was an observer in it, not a participant.
"It's cool that you see your mom as an angel. I'd guess I was rubbing off on you." He grinned.
If he only knew how close she was to kicking his butt back into smugville. Lucky for him, his corner came up. "Dream on," she said.
"That's what I should be saying to you."
All right. He won that round. Raea smiled and punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Smart ass. I'll see you tomorrow."
He glanced back and leaned close to her, keeping his voice down. "Don't let it bother you. You don't even know him. Maybe you should try actually, like, talking to him."
"Go." She didn't want to hear it any more. The day was done. The embarrassment was past.
"Tomorrow," he said and strode away.
She didn't want to think about tomorrow, and hearing all the stuff about Pallin, although it took Chad's attention off her.
She could almost feel Elis breathing down her neck and hurried the last block home. Josh was wrong. So, so wrong.
But she didn't have to be around Elis or talk to him at home. Only at school.
Home never looked more inviting, the blue house standing alone at the end of the last block on the edge of McClarron. And her cousin Dave was gone to basketball practice, a major relief. No Dave to annoy her, for a while anyway.
One good thing came that day. Or was it two? It had ended, and the sun shone bright. Yeah. She'd call that two good things. A bright ending on a gloomy start.
Better yet, Raea found a third positive moment. It might have been freezing, but the ice crystals sparkled in the air around her like magic dust.
She liked that.
Now, to get inside before Elis caught up to her. She wanted to run, but not when she might hit a patch of ice. One wrong step was all it would take to break an ankle. She had never been to a doctor or in the hospital and didn't want to start.
Raea took a misstep and gasped...
Scott moved close, a smile on his narrow face. He pulled off his glasses and laid his head on something. "There it is. Wow. That's quite a kick."
"Yes, it was." Padina's accent was heavy still. She stroked Scott's short, reddish brown hair.
"She'll be beautiful." Scott lifted his head.
"How do you know?"
"Because I know her mother is."
Padina blushed. "You are too good man for me."
"Not good enough." He kissed her.
"I am lucky woman. You accept us, but this is not your child. We cannot have...together any more. Only this." She rubbed the bulge of her belly.
He shrugged. "She'll be our child."
"Why 'she'?"
"I don't know. Maybe I always wanted a little girl to spoil. I can hope."
Padina laughed.
Raea shook away the image. Again. It happened again. These scenes of her parents couldn't be dreams. They were real scenes. She had never been there and wouldn't have imagined them on her own. Why did she see these images? The people she loved were dead. Although she wished with all her heart for both of them to be there, nothing could bring Scott and her mom back. Her chest ached to see them as vividly as if they had been there.
"Are you all right?" Elis helped her balance.
"What?" She blinked away the moisture in her eyes. "Um...Yeah. I have to get home." Before she broke down in front of him. This truly was the worst day of her life, second to the day her mom and Scott died. What was happening to her?
Despite her best efforts, the tears flowed cold on her cheeks by the time she entered the house on the end of the block. Raea kicked off her shoes and ran across the wood laminate main floor and up the stairs to slam the door of her room behind her.
It wasn't fair. Why did they have to die? Raea was only five; no more than a child.
It had taken all those years to let go and now these scenes rushed in on her. It wasn't fair. Remembering and seeing happy times that she had never been present to see tore open her grief. She had cursed the storm every day since the tornado destroyed only their house while she was at a sleepover. Life was so unfair and cruel.
She let the tears flow, soaking her pillow. Only the ringing of her phone succeeded in interrupting the flood of grief and tears, damming it for a while.
The caller ID displayed a welcome number. He had t
he best timing.
"Hey, Josh." She wiped her eyes with the pink sleeve of her shirt and sniffed.
After a couple seconds of silence, he asked, "Are you all right?"
"It's nothing." Nothing she wanted to think about it again.
"Sure?"
"Yeah. What's up?"
"Okay. I'm gonna be on national TV! You know that special on Dark Angel the Xplorer Channel wants to do?"
"Yeah. The one you mentioned this morning." She sniffed and wiped her eyes dry. If he hadn't called, she'd probably still be sobbing from the scenes burned in her memories now. She loved seeing them, but it hurt too much.
"Uh, huh. They heard about my interest in our angel and want me to help them."
"I'm happy for you." At least he'd have someone who would listen to all his stories and speculations, and in that light she could be happy for him.
"Oh, man! I'm shaking. I don't know what to do. I had to call someone. Actually, I have to call everyone. I get to help out and maybe be on TV!"
A laugh escaped her at the mental picture of Josh shaking in excitement. Just what she needed. "That's cool. Maybe some of your fame will rub off on the rest of us."
"This is going to be way more than cool. It's the sickest! I can't believe it!"
Neither could she, but she hoped for his sake that it didn't blow up in his face. "Be careful, though. Don't let them make fun of you." Like some kids did.
"No. It's not like that. This is Miracles and Other Wonders, the show that looks for credibility in what can't be scientifically proven."
"Then I guess you're set. It's right up your alley."
"Oh, yes, it is! I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. It's just...Wow! I don't know what to think."
She wouldn't either, but she didn't have his obsession with the McClarron angel. "Settle down and chill a bit. You said they won't be here for a week, so you have some time to put things together."
"That's just it. The assistant left a message and wants me to call them back ASAP with everything I've considered and any observations I've had. I haven't even tried watching for our angel. How can I give any credibility?"
"It's winter, Josh. It's cold. Who's gonna sit out and watch for an angel to fly over, let alone a senior in high school with tests to study for and papers due? I'm surprised they expect that much from you, or anyone."
"I'll have to ask who gave them the info. In the meantime, I gotta call Grandma. Oh, and Paul. Maybe he's the one they contacted."
His parish priest had been his closest ally in swapping stories and speculations, or at least based on the reports he brought back to them. She and the others had learned to steer him away from the topic. That could stay between him and Father Davison. She and the others preferred the old Josh, the geek who hung out with them and joked around and who wasn't constantly obsessed about every real or imagined appearance of their black-winged angel.
"Probably," she said. Anything to get him off the line so she didn't have to hear him go into the insights he had gathered, again. If only this angel would disappear. Life could go back to the way it was before that first sighting, and maybe her dreams or visions would end. "I'm sure your Grandma will be excited for you."
"I know she will. Thanks, Raea, and I hope you figure out your dream."
"Thanks."
"'Kay. See ya tomorrow."
"Bye." She clicked the phone off. Wow. Josh had the full attention of a whole television crew. He was right—it was the sickest, minus the Dark Angel part.
The Magic Touch
"You trust her with it?
"It is necessary. They'll look for me, not her. No one knew I was pregnant."
Scott stroked Padina's light brown hair from her face. "But she's only a child. She's likely to lose it."
"Better lost than in their hands."
Raea watched from the crack of their open bedroom door. Her parents sat up in bed, her mother with her head on Scott's shoulder.
"But if the wrong person finds it—"
"It will react. Unfortunate for them."
"If it's really as powerful as you've described, it shouldn't be in the hands of a child."
"Raea is my child." Padina's tone admonished him. "Never forget that. Do not forget what we are, Scott. We may look human sometimes—"
He gently tilted her head back and kissed her lips. "You'll always be my angels."
Padina smiled. "That's not what I meant."
The scene faded to the deep recesses of Raea's dreams. Faint voices in unison whispered from afar. Raea strained to listen but they vanished. "Who are you?" she called into the dream. "I can't hear you. Speak up!" Nothing.
* * *
Raea yawned as she sat down at the dining table, where Debbie sat with her morning coffee and toast, already dressed and made-up for work.
"Did you sleep well?"
"No. I've been having these weird dreams of...of Mom." Debbie didn't need to know details, but Debbie had known her mom well. She said she had helped with the birth. Padina had to be a saint to have a baby at home without any medication. Maybe her aunt could tell her something or give her some insight about her mother she hadn't considered.
"What kind of dreams?"
"The weird kind."
Debbie gave her the stop-messing-with-me look. No skirting the issue.
"For a while now I've had the same dream over and over. It never changes. But yesterday..." This was going to sound stupid, but Raea wanted answers. At least the boys weren't in sight or sound. Still, she didn't want to risk Dave and Eric overhearing and lowered her voice. Sound carried too far under the vaulted ceilings. "Yesterday, when Elis bumped me at school, and when I slipped on the way home from school, I saw scenes. It's like I was there but not. Like a fly on the wall."
"Hmm."
What did that mean? Debbie said nothing more but took another bit of her toast. Didn't she care?
"They were like scenes from her life. And last night, I dreamed of something I actually remember."
"Probably just déjà vu. But I'm concerned if you're falling into dreams in the middle of the day. I'll check with a specialist and see what they advise."
"Whatever." Raea shrugged and finished off her cereal. If that was all Debbie would say, what else could she do? See a neurologist?
Eric tromped down the stairs looking for food. The skinny sixth-grader was always hungry. If Raea ate like either of her cousins, she'd look like a blimp. Where did they put it?
Dave followed Eric and gave her a dirty look. Too bad. She had beaten him to the shower that morning. He'd live.
So far that day started out as the polar opposite of yesterday. Just what she needed to cheer up: A nice long, hot shower, annoying Dave, a bowl of cereal...Yup, major improvement over yesterday. Just in time for Linds' party coming up in two more days.
Why did the best days always follow the worst, though? It never failed, but she suspected that if she ever solved that riddle, her life would end or the world would collapse into nothing. At least she could enjoy the day and any further improvements that came her way.
On the way to school, even the sun seemed to shine brighter that morning. She didn't see Elis on the walk to school, a relief and—in an odd way—a disappointment. Yesterday was totally weird around him. She didn't want to repeat it, but she wanted answers.
And no one would ever know. She wouldn't tell them. Elis didn't have a reason to say anything, a big relief. She did not need to invite any more mocking from Chad. Yesterday was bad enough, except he had teased her all her life. Avoiding any situations even hinting of fuel for his amusement was her daily goal. Now with Pallin distracting everyone, maybe that would end, for a while at least.
Only one other thing could have made the day better—not having to listen to Josh talk almost non-stop about the television program he was going to be on. On the bright side, it was better than Chad's teasing.
Josh shut up during class, but lunch was another matter. At their own round table near on
e of the windows, he had a captive audience of friends.
"O-kay, Josh!" Linds' slumped back in her chair, shaking her head to throw her blonde-streaked hair back over her shoulders. "We get it. I was excited when I first heard, but you're wearing my patience thin. I don't suggest pushing it during calving season. Chill for a bit. Talk about something else."
Leave it to Linds to say it bluntly. Her farm girl toughness kept them all sane. Raea suspected what had her cranky. "Your dad make you go out and check cows?"
"Yes. I'm so tired. I don't need to listen to all the details of Dark Angel this and Dark Angel that. No offense, but it gets old real fast."
Yes, it did. Better that Linds said it and not her. Raea hated being the one to criticize her friends. Sure, it came easy with her cousin Dave, but he was like the most annoying pest on the planet. Let someone else say what they all thought when it came to Josh.
"Why can't he just make Terry or Jim do all the work?" Raea asked.
"Equal load. It was my turn to go out…at freakin' two AM!"
"How many calves left?" Jess stabbed at her salad.
"Too many. I don't know. We're just hitting the peak."
Raea tuned out Linds's rant about calving, her curiosity drawn to something else. And there he sat, alone and minding his own business. Both daytime visions had happened when Elis touched her. There had to be a connection, but she'd be damned if she would ask him. What a crackhead she'd sound like: "Yeah, Elis, why is it whenever you touch me, I have visions of my mom?" Before, she could watch from a distance and occasionally wonder if he liked being alone. Now, she didn't want anything to do with Elis. She hoped he stayed as far from her as possible.
Starfire Angels (Starfire Angels: Dark Angel Chronicles Book 1) Page 2
