by B. D. Gates
"Me? As I recall, I was told not to stop," I grinned into her neck.
Penny laughed. "Asshole."
"Yep."
"Yeah, well, we've got to go socialize with these women before they come looking for us, so let's go."
I was still delivering slow nipping kisses to her throat, still holding her against the door.
"Baxter, come on," she groaned. "You're killin' me."
I laughed at that. "You'd die happy."
"Yeah, true," she admitted. She playfully pushed me off her, then grabbed my hand as she opened the door and we headed back out to the kitchen.
It was empty. Everyone was out by the fire pit. I grabbed my drink. Penny had hers and had snatched up a light windbreaker hanging from a hook on the porch as we headed down to the fire. The catcalls were loud and long when we got there.
"Oooh, naughty Penny!
And a few at me.
"Baxter knocks one outta the park!"
"Nice one, Baxter." I'd heard that voice before. I peered through the darkness and saw Tracey sitting with a cute blonde girl. I smiled and gave her the 'steal home' sign. She laughed.
Penny led me to an over-sized Adirondack chair and indicated I should sit. I sat. Penny sat down in my lap, starting another round of catcalls and whistles. I looked at her, puzzled. Were her friends always so vocal? Penny just looked back at me and grinned a dirty little grin.
There were a few faces I didn't recognize. Penny later told me they were teammates from Dr. Snellings' team. Penny had been having 'team meetings' for a while now, and they were quite popular, given that there were no safe hangouts for the girls in the area.
The evening had grown cool, but it was warm by the fire. There was group discussion about the upcoming season and, of course, the individual team members were divided on just who was going to win the championship this year. One of Snellings' Drillers team members remarked that she had watched the Whitmore Wheelers practice one evening and that they had a handful of girls who could hit with power. Apparently, slinging tires builds some amazing upper body strength. I put that info away for Monday night.
Penny got up after about thirty minutes or so, threw the windbreaker over me like a blanket, saying "stay warm," and headed up to the house. In a few short minutes, the music changed to dance hits and that got Bridget pulling Jacks up and starting to dance. Pretty soon, nearly all the girls were up and dancing in the firelight, switching partners and generally celebrating themselves in the dark.
Penny returned and took me by the hand as she pulled me into the group. It had been a helluva long time since I'd danced, and I was a little slow getting started, but once I did, I remembered that I loved it. I got into sync with Penny and we spent the next little while just enjoying matching our rhythms and moves. We danced together the same way we sexed each other, adding to the fun.
A slow number came on and I pulled her against me, swaying together and catching our breath, not ready to stop. Holding Penny to me felt so right, she 'fit' me in a way that no one else had. I loved the way she felt under my hands, her soft, sweet smell, her voice, husky and urgent, in my ear as we made love. I leaned back and looked down at her. She looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back and hugged her closer.
The music changed, back to dance mode, and the group dancing began again. Penny broke away but was still holding my hand as she grabbed the windbreaker then steered me down towards the lake, leading me to a small dock. We got to the end and sat down, our legs dangling. Once my eyes adjusted, I could see across the water, noting that while it was not particularly wide at this point, it disappeared around a bend to my left.
Penny leaned against me and I put my arm around her. This was all too good and perfect.
She sighed.
"Big sigh, you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine."
"I'm not boring you?"
"What? No, silly, that was a 'contented' sigh."
"Oh, okay. Just checking."
We were quiet again, both of us sipping our drinks, then "Baxter, how old are you?"
"I'm twenty-eight, Penny. Why?"
"Just wondering. When's your birthday?"
"April. The twenty-fourth."
"Huh. Figures."
"What?"
"You're a Taurus."
I laughed. "Yeah, I am. You say that like it's a bad thing."
She laughed, too. "No, no, no. I'm pretty sure there's some Aries mixed in. The bull and the ram," she laughed again, shaking her head.
I looked at her, puzzled but smiling. "What? Don't tell me you believe in that stuff."
"Stuff?" She took on a look of indignance. "I will have you know that that 'stuff' tells me more about a person than anything they would ever tell me personally."
"Like what?"
"Okay. You're a Taurus. That's a good Earth sign. Strong. Dependable...but. You are also stubborn to the point of being infuriating. You like routine. The finer things in life. Good food, good wine, good clothes. You like comfort. You like to laugh. Sexually," and here she looked straight into my eyes, "you're...sensual, you like sex, really good sex, you could spend all day in bed with the right partner."
Okay, she wasn't too far off, but it was all still vague enough that those characteristics could apply to anyone and I laughed as I said so. "Penny, you just described anybody. Everybody. I mean, really, who doesn't like good sex? And good wine?"
"I also know that there's no way I'm gonna be able to convince you otherwise because you're too stubborn! So, I'm not even gonna try!" she laughed. "But I will tell you that our signs are compatible which is probably why sex with you is so good."
I looked at her, wide-eyed. "Well, thank you, yeah, sure, probably that's why!" I laughed again. "Yeah, that's exactly why." I shook my head again. "So you're a..."
"Capricorn. January tenth. Your best match, though, is a Scorpio."
"Huh. Okay. I'll keep my eye out," I said, laughing.
"Don't take this lightly, Baxter," she cautioned. "I'm not kidding...and if you ever do get tangled up with a Scorpio, just know that it's the 'ultimate one-true-pairing' of the Zodiac and when it happens, well, it can be pure heaven or it will send you both straight to Hell."
"Geez, okay, Mom, I'll be careful and I'll stay away from the Scorpios," I snarked as I rocked against Penny's shoulder.
Penny scoffed, blowing out loudly, shaking her head. We quieted for a minute.
"So, what were you like growing up?" Penny asked. "What about your parents? Brothers and sisters."
I wasn't too keen on discussing my childhood, not even with Penny. I avoided the question. "Am I being interviewed, Penny? Are you writing some piece for the 'Tenley Tattler' I'm not aware of?"
She laughed again. "No, silly, it's just...I don't feel like I know much about you. I mean, most everyone else around here, well, I grew up with them, so I know their stories. You're the first person I've ever met, had anything to do with, that I know...well, absolutely nothing about. So, I'm curious. Sue me."
I nodded. "You're right. Okay. Well, I was pretty much like I am now, just on a smaller scale, I suppose. I don't have any brothers or sisters, my parents are...not around any more. I did 'okay' in school, as far as grades go, I had a couple friends that I hung out with on a pretty regular basis. We played softball in high school, they played basketball, but it just wasn't my thing. I went to all their games, though, because, junior year, I dated a cheerleader."
"Omigod, you did not."
"What?"
"You did not date a cheerleader."
"Why does that surprise you?"
"I don't know. It's so...unreal."
That made me laugh. "Well, it's true. She made the first move on me during their summer camp at the school, while I did some work in the gym for the coaches. She gave me a ride home one evening, then it was every evening for a week, then she stopped and bought some beer on the way home, we got drunk and she kissed me."
We were quiet for a moment.
"Was that th
e first time you'd ever kissed a girl, Baxter?"
"Huh. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was the kiss that confirmed everything. And it kinda snowballed from there. She was my first everything."
"Wow. Baxter."
"Yeah, it was pretty great, really, I learned a lot. It was kinda one-sided, though."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, we kept it on the down-low, she didn't want anyone to know about us. It was just sex, and when she graduated and went away to college, I never heard from her again."
"Oh. Baxter. I'm sorry."
"S'okay. Like I said, I learned a lot." My tone had flattened. I picked it up when I turned the questions back on her. "So, what were you like growing up?"
"Oh, a total tomboy," she answered. "My dad taught me how to fish, shoot, dribble, you name it," she laughed.
"Well, he did a good job."
"Too good. My mother hated it. She was afraid I'd grow up 'confused,' but I didn't. I know exactly what I want," she said, as she pushed against me.
I asked a question that had been asked of me earlier that evening. "Have you always been gay?"
"Well, yeah, I've always liked girls, if that's what you mean. I did my share of experimenting, though, just to be sure, and to make my mother happy. Had dates to all the proms and what-not."
I leaned back and looked at Penny, trying to imagine her in a prom dress. It wasn't a bad image. She was pretty, even without the conventional make-up and dress.
"I could see that," I said.
"Yeah, well, it wasn't me, you know?"
"Yeah, Penny, I know." I looked hideous in a dress, always had, and no amount of begging or pleading could keep the foster mothers from forcing me into one, especially as a child during 'picture days' or 'family days' at the foster homes, leaving me looking like a ruffled oddity that no one wanted to take home. "So, do you and your mother get along?"
"About as well as a gay girl and her devout Southern Baptist mother could," Penny admitted. "Which is 'not much,' but we can at least be civil enough on holidays and special occasions that we can be in the same room. Not like Jacks' parents. They kicked her out of the house when she was sixteen, after they caught her and her girlfriend going at it. She lived with her girlfriend's family for a while, but that didn't last long. She ended up staying in shelters when she wasn't on the street.
"We met outside a coffee shop in Whitmore, she was asking for spare change, so I bought her a cup of coffee and a bacon-and-egg bagel, took it out to her. We sat against the wall of that shop for over an hour, just talking. I didn't see her again for about three months, but I didn't stop thinking about her, hoping she was okay. I mean, that could have been my story, too, if my dad hadn't stood up against my mother."
I nodded. "How did you get into photography?"
"My dad bought me a camera for my fourteenth birthday, and I started taking pictures. I read how-to books, and books about the 'art' of taking photos, and I shot a lot of film. Dad would take the film in for developing, until he decided it would be cheaper to buy my own developing kit. He converted half of a tool shed in the backyard into a dark room and I started learning about how to develop photos. I got a job with Sallie Bennett over in Whitmore, in her studio, when I was nineteen and I've been there ever since."
"How old are you?" I asked.
"Twenty-six," she answered.
"So how did you meet back up with Jacks?"
"Oh, well, I was into faces at that time and I was in the park down on River Street in Whitmore. There's a little area with concrete chess tables up above the water and I was taking pictures of the players. From a distance, so I wouldn't disturb their games. Anyway, there were two players in a game that really intrigued me, an old white guy and a young black guy, at least, I thought it was a guy, until I focused into a close-up. It was Jacks.
"I watched them play through the lens, snapping pictures occasionally, until they finished their game. At the end, the old man won, but not by much, and then they stood up and shook hands. I thought that was so cool, they were both so solemn and formal, and I took a picture of it. The old man gathered up the game pieces and left. Jacks was still sitting at the table, so I walked over and sat down with her.
"She remembered me, said she'd thought about me after that day we'd first met and had hoped I was okay. That I was okay. Can you believe it? She was living on the streets and she was worried about me!
"I asked her about the old man. She told me that he was from Lithuania, was living with his daughter in a house not too far from the park. One day, she had been sitting at the table and he walked over, nodded to her, and set up the chess set on her table. She knew enough about chess that, since the white pieces were in front of her, she should start, so she did. He just looked at her and smiled and they went on and played a game. He realized that she was really at a beginning level, so he started teaching her. She went to the park every day after that, and he'd show up and they'd play. She said it gave her a reason to get up every day, said that chess saved her life.
"When I ran into her again, playing softball, she told me that she had gotten a job as a stocker in one of the local grocery stores. Things were looking up for Jacks, she had a small apartment and a job, and she credits all that to those chess games. She said that the game taught her to look three moves ahead in her life, and she put it to good use.
"One day, she went to the park, and there was a woman sitting at their usual table, and she stood up when Jacks got there. Said the woman called her name. She went over to the table and they both sat down. She told Jacks that the old man had died in his sleep two nights before. She thanked Jacks, said that her father had lived for their days in the park, playing chess with him. Jacks didn't correct her, didn't tell her that she was really a woman. He had left Jacks his chess set. Later, I gave her a framed copy of the picture I took of them. She told me they're her most valued possessions."
Jacks's story left me quiet.
"So what happened with her and her girlfriend?" I asked.
"The usual. She took in a younger girl she'd met somewhere, the girl used her, you know, clothes, money, a roof over her head, until she found someone 'better.'"
"'Better?' Like..." I queried.
"More money, nicer place to live, a car, you know..."
I knew.
"So, Jacks, well, she kinda lost it. That sort of dump is hard to get over, being left for someone who can give more. She took a big hit in the ego department. Started drinking again, well, more than just 'a couple of beers.'' Turned up for one of my 'get-togethers' two months ago, shit-faced and looking for a fight. Harry, Tracey and I had to help her get a grip. We sobered her up, had a sort of intervention the next morning, and she's been okay ever since, but we keep an eye on the amount of drinking she's doing at each one. Bridget came to a few of the practices with Harry, just as a friend, took a liking to Jacks, and they've been dating ever since."
"She looks after Jacks."
"Yeah, but that gets old after a while and she's had her own troubles."
I nodded.
Being someone's 'keeper' does get old, no matter how much you care for them.
26
Penny leaned against me, quiet. We sat that way for a few minutes, then she resumed her interrogation.
"So, Lisa Baxter, tell me. What's really going on with you?"
"What?" I didn't understand the question.
"Who are you, really?"
"Who do you want me to be?"
She laughed and slapped me on the knee. "We don't know each other well enough for that. Yet."
I laughed.
"I'm asking, what's really going on with you?"
"What does that mean?"
"Well, I don't know exactly how to explain it, really. It's...a feeling, I suppose you could say...that I have about you, when I talk to you, ask you about yourself...that I'm not getting the whole story. That what you've told me is...well, Baxter, the main thing is, you're scripted."
"I'm what?"
<
br /> "Until tonight, most of what you've told me about yourself is as dry and lifeless as an obituary. And it's too easy. You're looking for a 'fresh start,' but from what? Why did you choose Tenley, why here of all places? You spend your days hosing out kennels and what-not, but you're too smart for that. And, off-topic, but I'm curious, you are awfully chummy with a police detective, who seems to have more than a casual interest in you, why is that?"
The girl had seen right through me.
"Penny, I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean?"
Rule Number One when you get caught in a lie: act confused.
"I mean that, the first night we went out after practice, you recited a history about someone named 'Lisa Baxter' but you are not her. You are not Lisa Baxter, so who are you?"
Penny was smart, there was no doubt of that. And, I'm obviously a bad actor, no use denying that, either.
"Look, here's the thing," Penny began to spell it out. "There's something about you, something in your eyes. I can't explain it, I don't know what it is, but I feel like, well, I feel like you're leaving out a big chunk of the truth. You are not who you say you are, Baxter, and except for what you've told me tonight, you're not telling me anything more than I could get from, well, from your driver's license. Your body is covered with scars, including a gunshot wound in your thigh. Your life, your real life, is written all over you, and it's giving you away, so just tell me the truth."
Well. Damn.
"Penny, I don't know what you're talking about, I really don't! I have told you the truth. I don't know what more I have to do to convince you of that!"
"Well, Baxter, since I don't know what else to call you, you're not Lisa Baxter. You're...just...not."
Damn. Damn. How do I fix this?
"Penny, look, whatever it is that you think you see when you look at me, maybe it's you, not me. I mean, I can't explain why you feel like I'm lying to you, because really, I don't understand why you do, but I can only say that I am who I am. And that's all. As for working in an animal hospital, well, you just offended me and everyone I work with, hell, everyone who works in an animal hospital with what you just said, and I don't appreciate it."
