by Mindy Hayes
“But, you were once fae,” Calliope argued. “You still had traces of fae blood in your veins, hibernating.”
“Actually,” Evan said, and we all looked to him. “If I might interject. Because that was Lia’s last change, all traces of fae blood had vanished from her veins. That is why we can only change a certain number of times. We are weakened with each transformation. Once the last change occurs, the fae in us can no longer survive.”
“Well, if I was full human, then why did I still feel a pull to the forest? How come I still remembered everything?”
“I do not have the answers for that. Fae magic works in mysterious ways. It’s possible that because you were originally fae, the veil between our worlds was still thin enough for you to remember. Or it’s also possible because Calliope has kept a prominent presence in your lives, it’s kept the fae world alive. I cannot give you definite answers, only theories.”
“So, what you’re saying is the same amount that was used on Lia, could work for me.”
Evan’s lips pressed into a straight line. “It’s a theory, not an solution. We’re forcing the change. It’s not happening naturally. You may still react differently. It may not kill you, but there could be some undesirable side effects.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Cameron muttered.
“Maybe you should rethink this,” I said quietly.
Cameron’s head swiveled in my direction. “Lia, we’ve gone over this. I have thought about it. Over and over again. I’ve dreamed about this possibility. Ever since I found out Calliope was a faery, I wondered what that would be like. Do you know how difficult it was to watch her leave me behind? She’s the closest thing I have to family. And now? Now, I have you. I’d rather risk the change than go back to my mundane life with a father who hardly knows I exist, and two roommates who are only my friends because we have to live together. This,” he cupped my face, “is the life I want.”
I nodded and tried not to cry. How did we get here? How was it possible for my heart to feel so strongly so fast?
“All right.”
“All right.” His mouth turned up before he kissed me.
Kai returned with what I assumed was a stellvial. I’d never seen one used before, nor had I a reason to need one. It was almost identical to what the elves had used, except theirs had a metal needle on the end, whereas the stellvial was made purely of glass.
“Won’t that break?” Cameron asked.
“Glass here isn’t as fragile as it is in the human world,” Calliope answered him and took the stellvial from Kai. “I worried about the same thing with my crown when I accidently dropped it while getting ready one morning. Not one crack.”
“There is no risk of breaking it,” Evan assured. “I promise it is as strong as metal.”
“Let’s get this over with. I can’t wait any longer.” Cameron stepped up to Calliope next to the table with the blood securely encased in a glass urn. “I’m ready.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Calliope panicked. “Evan, will you do it?”
“Your Highness, I have no more experience than you.”
“But maybe your hands will shake less.”
He lifted his frail hands as if that were an answer.
“Good grief, I’ll do it.” I stepped up and took the stellvial from Calliope. “Now, this isn’t going to feel good,” I said quietly to Cameron. “Your entire body is going to feel like it’s on fire. It’s going to feel like the new blood is burning away the old blood, which I guess it kind of is.”
He nodded. “Cool. So, you have to stab me in the heart. There’s possibility of death and horrible side effects, and it’s going to burn like a mother until I transform.” He took a deep breath, and then released it. “Got it. Let’s do this.”
“Maybe we should have him lay down.” As soon as the blood kicked in he wasn’t going to be able to stand.
“The window seat,” Calliope suggested.
When Cameron was comfortably on his back, Calliope helped me fill the stellvial with approximately the same amount of blood that had been used for me. I prayed to the fallen fae I was right.
“I’m going to apologize in advance. I’ll do this quickly, but within seconds you’ll be unconscious. Remember, the fire ends.”
When he nodded and closed his eyes, I placed the needle over his heart and quickly pressed down. Cameron’s face contorted in agony. I knew that pain all too well. His mouth opened, but there was no sound. It was the worst kind of pain. No sound could express the level of suffering.
Any moment his body would go limp.
Any second.
Just one more.
Cameron’s eyes clamped shut. He hadn’t taken a single breath. He wasn’t going unconscious. Why isn’t it working?
“Why hasn’t he lost consciousness yet?” Calliope snapped.
“I don’t know!”
I gently touched his face and brushed his hair from his forehead. “Cameron, it’s almost over,” I soothed, lying. I had no clue. “Just breathe. It’ll all be over soon.”
Was this what it’d looked like when the bodies couldn’t withstand the change? Was I going to lose him? Tears pierced my eyes as he writhed back and forth. His voice began to work, and I wished it hadn’t. His screams resonated throughout the atrium. Keepers on the other side of the castle could hear him.
I wanted it to stop. I take it back. Changing him wasn’t worth the risk. I’d rather have an alive, human Cameron than one who no longer existed.
I was going to lose him. Would it be over soon?
“It’ll all be over soon,” I whispered.
And then it was.
Chapter Thirty Eight
CAMERON
Death was an interesting experience. For some reason, I’d always thought I would go painlessly. I’d go at an old age, in my sleep, after living a long life.
I’d experienced the opposite of that. First, I’d felt an inferno light inside of me, and then I’d felt numb. There had been nothing but darkness. Every time I’d opened my eyes, there was nothing. I was nothing. I’d waited to wake up in front of the pearly gates, but it never happened. I hadn’t been that bad of a human being, had I? Was I going to Hell? Was this Hell?
When the fire had receded from my veins, I’d laid there, numb for hours—it’d seemed—until it’d gradually withdrew as well. I’d remained still, savoring the pleasure of feeling alive and pain-free. Pain-free. If I were in Hell, surely there would be pain. Lots of fire and emptiness. All things horrible. Not this. I’d felt well-rested and strong.
I’d opened my eyes again and blinked at the bright light all around me. I had made it to heaven. Thank goodness. That would really have sucked.
When my vision cleared, and the light became less blinding, Lia loomed above me, smiling, with tears in her eyes.
Was this heaven?
“Cameron,” she breathed and kissed me over and over. “Oh my gosh. You’re awake.”
What happened? Why was Lia kissing me?
“You were asleep for a day. I kept checking your pulse to make sure you were still alive. I was so scared.”
“Scared of what?”
She looked at me funny. “That you wouldn’t survive the change.”
My heart began to race. What was she talking about? What had changed? Why wouldn’t I have survived? Where am I? I lifted my head and looked around. Windows. Lots of windows. And sunlight and trees. Everything looked clear. So clear, like I was looking through the eyes of someone with the best vision on the planet.
“Cameron?” I knew that voice. Calliope appeared next to Lia.
“Oh, thank the Fallen Fae!” She grabbed me and hugged me tight. “Oh, sorry!” She quickly pulled back. “I shouldn’t hug you so tight. Are you all right? Does anything hurt? Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m fine.” I sat up. Lia and Calliope looked at me like I was going to break.
“My hug didn’t hurt you?” My mind was reeling. It didn’t
hurt. Normally, Calliope’s hugs were so tight I couldn’t breathe. Why didn’t it hurt?
I shook my head. I needed quiet. There was too much to take in. Everything was too colorful, too sharp. Sensory overload. I closed my eyes. That was better.
“Cameron?” Lia asked, her voice shaky.
I held up a finger. I needed a minute. I could remember only bits and pieces. It was like my brain was shielding me, or I needed to shield it. Calliope and Lia wouldn’t stop talking to each other. It sounded like a bunch of people were pacing outside the room. I could hear hundreds of people whispering and trees creaking and swaying and—
“AHH!” I placed my hands over my ears to block out the sounds, and jumped. My ears! I had points on my ears!
With wide eyes, I found Calliope. “I have points on my ears!”
“Cam, you’re freaking out. This is a good thing. You survived the change. You didn’t die! You’re a faery!” She jumped up and down.
The change. The change. The change.
Holy crap! I’m a faery!
I grabbed my ears, tracing the tips. “They feel so real!”
She laughed. “Because they are, dork.”
My eyes found Lia. She hovered off to the side, her hands rubbing anxiously together. In three steps I took her into my arms and pressed my mouth to hers. When I pulled back, she hit me in the chest.
I chuckled, “Ouch!”
“You scared me, you idiot! For a second, I thought you’d lost all your memories.” Her chest heaved with her elevated breathing. “You looked at me like you didn’t know who I was.”
I traced the curve of her face. She was so beautiful. “I just needed a minute. I’m on a bit of sensory overload right now. I’m hoping I’ll get used to it and it will wear off.”
“It should,” Calliope said. “For me, everything came in gradually, so I was able to absorb each change as it took place. Where you’re experiencing it all at once. Who knows how much time it will take, but hopefully you’ll be as be good as new soon.”
“I hope so.” I pressed my hand to the side of my head, massaging my temple. “I can hear everything.”
They chuckled. Calliope started to back out of the atrium. “I’m going to leave you two. Kai will want to know the good news. Welcome to faerydom, Cam. Hopefully you love it, because you’re kind of stuck here.”
“I think I’ll manage.” I smiled as she walked out of the room.
I kept Lia in my arms, tightening around her waist. “So, what group do you think Sarai will put me in?”
“Group?”
“You know … the Keepers and Healers and stuff.”
Lia laughed. Her head fell back. “You mean a colony.”
“Yeah, that. What are you?”
“I’m a Sower.”
“So, what do you do?”
“We handle the harvest. All the gardening and food, so our days are spent in the orchards and fields.”
“So, a farmer.” I nod. “I can do that. I can pull off the flannel and denim. That’s a normal fad around here, right?” I smirked, and Lia bit back her smile. “Cameron the Farmer. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“You might want to keep the nicknames to yourself.” She kissed me lightly, and the corners of her eyes turned down, troubled. “In all seriousness, are you okay? Your transformation was horrifying. I know the pain you went through, but watching you suffering, I think it may have been worse for you than any other.”
I’d never let Lia know the extent of the pain. She didn’t need to know I’d thought I was dead, and in Hell, no less. I’d take that tidbit to my grave. She only needed to know one thing.
“I would do it a thousands times over if it meant I could have you.”
Chapter Thirty Nine
SARAI
The Keepers escorted me to the Oraelian court to meet the king and queen. Towering double doors were open when we approached. King Ronan and Queen Aislinn sat in adjoining thrones at the end of the great hall. Marcus stood beside Aislinn, while another stood next to Ronan. I could only assume he was Marcus’s older brother, Alston, considering he looked identical to Marcus.
The Keepers led me all the way to the base of the thrones, and one announced my presence. “Sarai, Queen of Rymidon.”
“King Ronan. Queen Aislinn.” I bowed.
“Sarai.” Marcus’s voice was breathless.
“Marcus.” I nodded to acknowledge him. His brother remained silent.
“For what do we owe the honor, Queen Sarai?” Queen Aislinn asked, her face serene and welcoming.
“I came to offer a trade agreement. But first, I was hoping to have a private moment with Prince Marcus. We have some unfinished business to attend to.”
The King and Queen gave me questioning looks. Did they know where Marcus was when he was not present? Were they unaware Marcus and I had formed a connection? Did they know about the elves? Surely, not.
“Of course, my dear.” Queen Aislinn regained herself first and smiled. She peered at Marcus. It was clear he was to answer to her when we were finished. What will he say to her? How will he explain our situation? He could worry about that. It wasn’t my place.
Marcus was hesitantly optimistic when I caught his eye. “Let us go for a walk in the gardens,” he suggested.
When we were outside the castle walls, he spoke up. “I didn’t expect you to come. I was hoping to hear from you, but I feared it was unlikely.”
“I wasn’t planning to come, but I have a very persuasive sister.”
“I am a lucky man for that.” A smiled played on his lips.
“I think it is best to wait for phrases such as that until we are finished with this conversation.”
The smile faded, and I felt a twinge of guilt for taking away his hope. For taking away one of his rare smiles. “Fair enough.”
We walked in silence. The longer it lengthened, I knew I needed to say what I came to say, but I could not find the words. We reached a break in the pathway and Marcus gestured, asking with his hand, which way I wanted to go.
I did not move. I turned and looked up at him. “I forgive you, Marcus.”
He heaved a sigh, a breath I knew he’d been holding since the moment I’d arrived unannounced. He stepped closer, but I put up my hand to ward him off.
“I forgive you, but I do not trust you.”
His face fell, but he nodded. “I understand. It would surprise me if you did. I will prove myself to you. Whatever it takes.”
Marcus came closer again, reaching out, and I stepped back. The hurt in his eyes caused me to turn away. It was too much to endure.
“While I do not agree with your actions, I have a better understanding of the path you chose. I will give you the chance to prove your trustworthiness, but I cannot be with you. I need time. Right now, my kingdom needs me. I cannot balance putting Rymidon back together while attempting to build a relationship with another Royal. Both would suffer, and neither could afford it.”
“But a kingdom runs better with two. What will the counsel say about you holding off bonding? Or will you choose another?”
“I don’t know, but I will fight to stand on my own for as long as they will allow. Rymidon has been through too much. With the elves relocating … Rymidon needs a focused queen and you distract me, Marcus.”
It was difficult enough being in his presence. Looking at him made me want to change my mind. I would not be so weak.
“I want to accept your words, but they’re painful. I understand why I stand where I do, but I don’t want to accept it. Please, Sarai. I cannot bear to see you belong to anyone else.”
Taken aback, I retorted, “I am no one’s but my own.”
He swooped in and gently clutched my shoulders. “You’re right. Which is why the thought of you with another is so unbearable. You deserve someone who will be your equal, whose sole purpose is to bring you happiness. I wish I had made that my purpose when we first met. If I had, you would look at me with a smile instead of tear
s in your eyes.” Marcus paused, his gaze searching mine. “I don’t know where to go from here.”
My voice shook when I said, “Your purpose will come.”
He spun away. His hands gripped the back of his neck. “What have I done?” he whispered into the wind.
After being so angry with him, it was strange that all I wanted was to bring him comfort. “Marcus, if not for you, we would not have gotten to the elves in time. They could have an entire enhanced army raiding every kingdom.”
“If not for me, the elves would’ve been discovered sooner, and you would still trust me.”
I could not discount his rebuttal, but I didn’t want to leave him on such hopeless terms.
“Give us time. I am not telling you no. I am telling you not now.”
“But, you also are not telling me yes to a future.”
“I am telling you maybe. It is all up to you. What kind of king do you want to be, Marcus? One who acts on vengeance and makes irrational decisions from passion-based emotions, the kind of king fae fear and cannot trust? Or do you want to be the kind of king who can stand strong and reasonable in the face of danger, the kind of king fae admire and look to for security? I want the kind of king by my side that I can trust and admire. Be him, and I will never leave your side.”
Marcus breathed deep and fixated his green eyes on me. “I will strive to be him every day for you, Sarai.”
“Then the possibility of our future is already brighter.”
Acknowledgements
Just when I think I’m done with Faylinn, it pulls me back in.
Regina Wamba, who created another gorgeous Faylinn cover.
Madison Seidler, my editor, who’s got my grammatical and punctuation back.
Michele, my books would take a lot longer to write without you and your daily encouragement and words.
Jessica, you, magical unicorn, you. Thank you for always being there even when life gets in the way.
