by Cindy Miles
I continued eating my oatmeal, because I really didn’t know what to say to any of that. I sipped my milk, took another bite. “I like the early morning. Before anyone else is awake.” I slipped him a glance. “It’s…peaceful.”
“It is,” he agreed. “Here, anyway. Back home? Never.”
Nevah. His Boston accent was unique; heavy, sultry, soft all at once. Void of all r’s. I liked it. And I kept it to myself.
My mind scrambled as I sifted around for something to say. Don’t forget the Dare, Harper. That’s first and foremost, don’t forget. He’s running illegal bets out of the Kappa House. Stop him from gambling, hurt the Kappas, do a favor for Brax. I spooned the remaining oatmeal into my mouth, chewed, swallowed, and then sipped my milk. Gathered my courage. “Would you like to help out with the Turkey Run tomorrow?”
Kane leaned back, his long legs sprawled in the way guys do, and looked at me. “What’s that?”
“It’s a benefit five-k run that we sponsor each year before Thanksgiving,” I answered. “People pay a fee to enter, we provide bottled water and snacks, and two-thirds of the proceeds go to purchasing holiday turkeys for the shelters and soup kitchens in the surrounding counties.”
He nodded. “We as in…?”
“My sorority.”
He shoved a hand through his hair, leaving it even messier than before. “See, there you go again.”
I blinked. “What?”
Kane ducked his dark head and searched my face. The inky morning had begun to lighten, and his faced seemed beautifully flawless and ghostly at the same time. Those eyes, though…wise beyond his years. I could tell, something stood behind them, something almost familiar. Something I recognized…but not quite. And that scared me.
“Like a masquerade,” he said softly. “You seem one way on the outside—rich, perfect, better than everyone else. But then you eat a sparse meal alone on park benches at six in the morning. Meticulously separating yourself from everyone—even your own sorority sisters.” His lip quirked in the corner. “And you gather turkeys for the homeless.” His eyes never left mine. “A severe contradiction, Ms. Belle.”
I swallowed my fear at his articulate speech and all-too-accurate description. “Well,” I said, my voice as quiet as the morning. “That’s an amazing hypothesis of my character, having only encountered me a few days ago.” I looked at him now, meeting his gaze and forcing myself to hold it. “Coming from a guy who wanders onto a college campus hundreds of miles from home to illegally run bets out of a frat house.” I cocked my head. “Pretty well-spoken for a thug.”
Those coffee colored eyes shined as he watched me closely, seemingly inspecting every one of my features as if trying to pick me apart, or trying to see through a seam, a hairline crack I might have left behind to show my true self. I’d been careful over the years. Yet…he seemed to get closer than anyone. And fast.
He didn’t look offended by my words; how could he be? He certainly hadn’t been shy about bluntly listing my supposed qualities. He might suspect some things, but he hadn’t even cracked the surface.
“I guess we all have a few secrets, yeah?” he said, his voice husky and blending with the quiet morning air. His words caught me off guard, and so did the shift in his eyes. They always seemed, soft, somehow, but now? A flash of something, almost undetectable, and almost too fast to notice. But I had. “What time?”
I blinked again. “Excuse me?”
His smile came easy. “Turkey Run? Or are you retracting your invitation? You know, being as I’m a thug and all.”
I felt heat creep up my throat and fan at my cheeks as my accusations pinged back at me from Kane’s mouth. I wasn’t accustomed to insulting people—especially total strangers. It left a bad taste in my mouth. “Six a.m. At our house.”
Kane rose. “What if I want to run?”
I also stood. “You’ll have to pay the entry fee.”
He faced me then, standing close, and the way his eyes moved over me? He might as well have been touching me. Never had I met someone who possessed such emotion in only their eyes. It stirred something inside of me. Something I couldn’t decide if I liked, or feared. “Yeah? What kind of fee?”
“Thirty dollars.” I couldn’t seem to look away from him. Like I was trapped in a trance.
His body shifted closer. Hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. Seemingly harmless. But I knew better. “If I pay a hundred will that ensure me a place beside you?”
I drew in an inconspicuous breath, slowly released it. Steadied my voice so it didn’t seem like he affected me as much as he did. “Not really,” I replied. “It would depend on the kind of runner you are.” I looked at him now, in the early hours of dawn, and he was even more beautiful than I’d once thought. How was that possible? Sounds invaded my thoughts; a hedge trimmer’s motor hummed from somewhere on campus. A car door slammed. Voices floated on the wind. When had Winston awakened? And how had I been so oblivious to it?
My eyes fixed on his mouth as he spoke. I couldn’t help it.
“I’ll take my chances,” he said in that husky, quiet Boston voice, then called over his shoulder as he lumbered away. “See ya in the morning.”
I stared after Kane McCarthy as he disappeared across the quad and faded into the hazy morning light. Just like his voice, his stride was easy and effortless as those long, muscular legs carried his equally solid, tall frame. Like an ethereal being, he simply…vanished. Like a ghost. A spirit. Was he even real? Was this situation I’d suddenly found myself in, real? It could’ve been a dream. Or a nightmare.
No, I’d had plenty of nightmares. Kane McCarthy definitely wasn’t one of them.
This was a situation I’d promptly placed my own stupid self in. And it was one I’d need to fast get a grip on if I was going to pull off our private Dare against the Kappas. I couldn’t let Kane get under my skin.
As I maneuvered throughout my day, surrounded by fellow Winston students, sorority sisters, acquaintances, I realized that despite how many conversations I had, how many phony smiles I gave out, one thing was for certain.
I truly was alone. Alone, I understood. My back against a wall, enclosed, I felt safe. As long as I held people at a distance, they wouldn’t suspect the real me. Wouldn’t ask questions. Wouldn’t crack the code to my internal safe.
Safe. Safety. It meant as much to me as trust did to others. I knew why; always had known why.
When I thought hard about it, it really only came down to one thing.
A small, dank, smelly kitchen cabinet.
The rest of the day dragged by; so did I. My forced buoyancy was beginning to wear thin on me, for some reason. In the past, it’d been rather easy, that false persona. Why had it grown difficult? Like, overnight? What was wrong with me?
Later that afternoon, the Delta house was abuzz with activity. Setting up the starting line for the Turkey Run, stretching the hand-made banner from our side of the street to the Kappas’. I never did catch sight of Kane again, and somehow, that disappointed me. He may be a thug, but he was an intelligent one, well-versed and I sincerely enjoyed talking to him—when he wasn’t busy pointing out my supposed flaws, that is. Something about his persona intrigued me. Interested me. The way he studied me so thoroughly, just before he spoke. No one had ever gained my attention in that way, ever. And he remained on my mind for the rest of the day.
After darkness fell, Delta sisters gathered in the common room to make the numbers that would be pinned to the participants’ shirts. Crates of bottled water sat at our front door. I busied myself in our small kitchen making chocolate chip cookies for the participants as they crossed the finish line at the Killian fairgrounds entrance tomorrow. Murphy sat on the counter, the bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips opened and dangerously in her hands.
She popped one in her mouth. “What’s up with you?” she asked. “You look like pure shite, you do.”
I looked at her and almost smiled at the comical lines of concern pulling at her brows. I le
veled the flour in the measuring cup with a knife and added it to the mixture. “I’m just tired, I guess.” I mixed in the cup of flour, then turned off the beaters. “Kane is meeting me here in the morning. He’s helping out with the run,” I said, and leveled the second cup of flour. I gave Murphy a sideways glance.
Her mouth dropped open.
“And he’s participating,” I continued.
“Shut up,” Murphy replied. She popped another chip in her mouth, her eyes narrowed to slits, and she elbowed me. “No wonder you look all wonky. You’ve been a busy bee, acquiring all of that out of him.” She grinned. “I knew you had it in you.” She popped another chip in her mouth. “Josh is helping, too. As a matter of fact, he’s using that obnoxious bull of a pick-up truck to help deliver bottled water to the checkpoints.” Her head cocked to the side. “So tell me about Kane. What’s he like?”
I thought about it. “He’s intelligent. Soft-spoken. And extraordinarily…perceptive.”
Murphy edged closer. “How so?”
I shrugged, finished mixing the cookie dough and moved it to the pan I’d lined with parchment paper. I started dropping tablespoonful’s of cookie dough in a row. “I don’t know. He sort of hangs onto every single word I speak, every gesture and motion I make.” I looked at her. “He seems to see inside of me.”
Her eyes softened. “Is that so?” Her smile curved her lips. “Sounds like the dog’s bollocks if you ask me. Except for the illegal activity, of course.”
I smiled. “What about Josh? Is he as much of a…” I thought of an appropriate description.
“Useless shitfaced knob?” Murphy finished. She laughed. “Once you peel him away from his obnoxious mates, he’s actually quite nice.” Her eyes darted to the mixing bowl. “Christ, I’d sell one of my kidneys on eBay for one spoon of that dough.”
I couldn’t help but smile at Murphy’s drama. “Go ahead. But just one spoon.” I slid the pan into the oven.
“Yes!” She grabbed a spoon from the drawer, scooped up the dough, and pushed it into her mouth. Her eyes closed. “Oh my God, woman.” She grinned at me. “You sincerely need to put pre-law behind you and just open a bloody bakery.” Her eyes closed again as she chewed the dough. “Wicked and scrummy, all at once. I swear to God, it’ll be your fault if my bum gets too big.”
I smiled, shook my head, and set the cooling racks on the counter. I’d taught myself how to bake, and as old-fashioned as it sounded, I actually enjoyed it. The talent had come in handy with the sorority since we were always having bake sales.
“So about Kane,” Murphy continued, her eyes on me. “You’re diggin’ him, aren’t you?”
My thoughts scrambled for an appropriate response. I wasn’t sure what I really, truly thought of Kane McCarthy. Other than that I couldn’t get him out of my mind. I sighed. “He’s…definitely interesting,” I answered. “Not as much like Brax as you’d think. He’s not loud. He’s actually very articulate and soft-spoken.”
“Well,” Murphy said, leaping off the counter and peering into the oven. “I can’t wait to meet him in person tomorrow.” Turning, she leaned against the counter, and that infamous Cheshire cat grin returned. “Progress with Josh: We’re going for curry Sunday.” She wiggled her brows. “To Karma. I’m driving.”
My eyes widened. “Really?”
She gave me a proud nod. “Guess what else?”
“There’s more?”
Murphy batted her eyelashes. “He’s accompanying me to an off-broadway show in Dallas.”
Now, my eyes bugged. “You’re kidding?”
“Positively so right!” she said. She licked her finger and swiped it through the air. “Score one for the Yorkie!”
“What in the world are you doing to get him to agree to all of these things?” I asked.
She looked at me and winked. “Just a bit of snogging is all.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “You’re off your trolley,” I said, using the phrase she frequently used on me.
Murphy shrugged. “Let’s just say it looks like we may have both hooked our prey.” Her smile was slow. Wide. Wicked. “The how of it doesn’t really matter, me thinks.”
The moment I stepped out onto the porch of the Delta House, my eyes landed directly onto Kane McCarthy’s tall, muscular frame, casually leaning against one of the pillars. I don’t know why he surprised me, but he did.
“You said six o’clock, right?” he asked.
Easing the door closed behind me, I edged closer. “I did, yes.” I inspected his running clothes; long-sleeved black T-shirt, black running shorts that hit just at his knees, and black trainers. When my gaze lifted to his, his eyes were there, searching mine for acceptance, or encouragement. I wasn’t sure of either. He glanced at himself and shrugged. “Brax had extra.”
“No doubt he has an entire room full of running gear.” I smiled. “He and Olivia run all over campus. So you decided to enter,” I said, and lit down the steps past him, and stopped at the paved walk. “Thanks for your help this morning. Josh Collins has already dropped most of the water off at the checkpoints. We’ll load the rest into my car and—”
“I got more than enough room in my truck,” he offered, and joined me on the walk. He threw his head toward the parking lot, and I realized just how much taller, bigger he was than me. “It’s over there.” He grinned, his all-knowing stare steady and boring right into me. “So you got Josh into this, too?”
I shook my head. “No, actually one of the other sisters did. “
He rubbed his jaw with a big knuckled hand. “A conspiracy, yeah?”
My heart jumped. He couldn’t possibly know. “Oh, no, not at—”
Kane gave me a lazy smile. “Just messing with you.” He inclined his head to his truck. “Ready to load?”
“Oh, yes,” I answered, and turned back to the porch. “Thanks. Let’s…definitely load the water then.” I jogged the steps, and at the top I spun around. “Oh, you might—”
He was right there, as close as two people can be while sharing the same breathing space, and his eyes immediately found mine. His frosty breath trailed out of his mouth as it blended with the chilly air. So close, I could feel the heat of his skin brush mine. Standing one step below me, we almost stared eye-to-eye, and a sly smile pulled at his lips. The air froze in my lungs, so trapped in the moment. I found myself completely and utterly speechless. Unable to move. Chained to the porch.
“Right. Girls’ sorority house. Six a.m. I’ll…stay right here,” he said softly, and there was amusement in his voice. “No problem.” He leaned a little closer. “You can breathe now, Harper.” That came out quiet, meant only for my ears.
I did breathe then, and my warm breath met the cool November morning air and puffed out white before me. “I’ll be right back.” Hastily, I let myself back into the house. More than half the sisters still ran around in their night clothes. Or less. Still getting ready for the Turkey Run.
Inside, I cringed. Murphy and the other sisters stood clustered around the window. Murphy, guilt smeared all over her creamy features, jumped back.
“We were watching,” she admitted shamelessly with a grin. “I fancy an introduction.”
“Me, too,” said Leslie. Followed by several others.
With a resigned sigh, I turned and opened the door. Kane stood as he had before, leaning against the pillar. “Kane?” I said. “These are the sisters of Delta house. Girls, this is Kane McCarthy.”
He glanced past me, at the girls piled up behind me at the door, and gave them a wide, flawless smile. “Ladies.”
Murphy pushed passed me, still in her plaid pajama bottoms and her favorite Union Jack tee shirt, her hair in pigtails, and I said a silent prayer she’d try her best and contain herself.
“My name’s Murphy, love,” she said, introducing herself, and they shook hands. “Harper’s best mate. Are you ready for the run?”
Kane’s eyes found mine, where they smoldered. Turned soft. A smile tipped his mout
h up in one corner. “Been looking forward to it all night.”
Murphy’s gaze shot to mine, and pure deviltry made them twinkle in the porch light. “Fancy a good challenge then, do ya?”
Kane didn’t stop staring at me. “Yeah. I do.”
Inside, I shivered a little. His words, his stare, sunk deeper than anyone I’d ever encountered. With an embarrassed smile I left the two of them chatting as a few other girls and I gathered the remaining flats of bottled water and carried them to the porch.
It was going to be a long, long day. I knew at the end of it, Murphy Polk would be filled to her North York gills with questions. I braced myself ahead of time. For now, though, I had to deal with my Dare project. To let the girls see me affected by him would not do. Not at all.
Over the next hour Kane, Murphy and I rode to the checkpoints along the Turkey’s route and set out the extra water that had been donated, and plastic-wrapped platters of the chocolate chip cookies I’d made. Murphy kept Kane busy with questions, asking him about Boston, making fun of his accent. Which, in turn, made Kane laugh and do nothing except make fun of hers. And at each checkpoint sat an assigned Delta, to keep the wolves, i.e. fraternities and other obnoxious guys with bottomless stomachs and no manners, out of the cookies. Kane registered for the run and to my surprise he in fact did pay the hundred he’d threatened to pay in order to run beside me.
My thoughts bumped off one another as I wondered how many frat boys had lost their parents’ money to him. The idea made me mad. Not that the fraternity boys had lost their money. That was their own fault. It angered me that Kane chose to make a living that way. It frightened me a little. It could be dangerous. Couldn’t it?
By the time the race was about to begin, Brax and Olivia had joined us at the starting line, between our house and the Kappas’. Katie Mulligan pinned our numbers to our chest and back. Brax was in full-Brax mode.
“Gracie!” he danced around her. “You know I’m gonna win, right?” Brax teased. He wore the same thing as Kane, except a Silverbacks skully was pulled snug over his head. His unique features seemed harsher in the cool early morning, but by the softened expression in Olivia’s eyes, she didn’t think so.
