by Amy Sumida
But my body wasn't listening to my mind. All it could focus on was the fact that one of my fathers had been instrumental in bringing about the other's death. Hadn't Keir taken enough from Ewan? He stole Ewan's wife, his daughter, and now Keir had even stolen his life.
“And he didn't want me to put Ewan to rest,” I whispered brokenly. “He tried to steal his death too.”
A sob tore out of my throat. But instead of collapsing into a crying heap, I jumped to my feet and slammed my fist into the wall. Extinguishers don't have time for tears, but we do have time for rage. I screamed as the wood shuddered and cracked. My knuckles had split and were bleeding, but I didn't care. I punched the wall again, and again. Someone came up behind me and laid their hands on my shoulders, but I flung them off, shouting furiously.
“Don't touch me!” I screamed and kicked the dresser. My boots made a satisfying hole, breaking a drawer in two. “Danu damn him,” I leaned onto the dresser and hung my head, exhaling roughly as I stared down at my bloody knuckles.
My whole body was shaking, my breath sawing in and out of my chest. I wanted to send my Guard back to Twilight with those fucked up letters and add one of my own to them. One that told Keir he could shove my crown up his ass. But I angled my head and saw worried faces, the faces of my friends. The Star's Guard had become family, just as Keir had become family. And you didn't desert family just because they did something stupid. Even if that stupidity was fatal to someone else you loved.
No, I wouldn't abandon Twilight or Keir. But that didn't mean I'd be going home anytime soon either. Now, more than ever, I was determined to stay out of Fairy until I put Ewan to rest. Keir could go fuck himself. Though I was really starting to regret leaving Cat behind. I missed her terribly, and I knew she could have comforted me better than anyone else right then. How appropriate her name had become. But at least she was safe. Keir would take care of her until I returned... and then there would be a reckoning.
Chapter Thirty
In order to get back to Ireland, we'd have to travel the In-Between again. This meant either waiting till twilight to pull the same maneuver we'd made to get there, or finding a rath and stepping off the path, directly into the In-Between. Well, as you may have surmised, Hawaii was eleven hours behind Ireland, and the sun set there around six. That meant it would be ten hours of waiting if we decided to go that route.
As much as I could use the break, I couldn't stay away from the High Council House that long. Not during preparations for a war I wanted to be a part of. So we had to get to a rath. Thankfully, I knew exactly where to find one, and who guarded it. The location was known to me because of the time I'd spent there as the local extinguisher. The guard was known to me because we'd been introduced by Tiernan.
His name was Horacio and he was a duende. Duende were a type of goblin who loved hats and getting children lost. I know how weird it sounds, but that's the truth of it. Horacio in particular, was a hunter, so he wouldn't actually hurt any children. Though I had seen him mislead a few. His human glamour made him look Portuguese, which was not only a good representation of his Iberian-Fey origins, but also a good cover for living in Hawaii. There were quite a lot of Portuguese people living in the islands. Horacio fit right in.
I, and my Star's Guard, did not. Especially in my father's black SUV. So when we pulled up in front of Horacio's plantation style, wood plank, forest green house, the duende came running out to meet us, sword at the ready.
“Horacio, it's Princess Seren,” I called out the window, so he wouldn't attack the car.
“Princess?” Horacio stopped in his tracks and lowered his sword.
We all climbed out, and my Guard immediately began scanning the thick treeline. The rath was set smack dab in the center of Hawaiian Homestead lands, and the forest was thick back there. Most of the land around us had been put aside for Native Hawaiians to use for either farming or living on, sort of like the Native American reservations. The land was held in trust by the state and you had to be Hawaiian to even apply for a piece of property.
This worked out perfect for the rath, which was the only piece of non-homestead land in the area. Gee, I wonder how that happened. Anyway, it gave the rath privacy within the heavily forested area, and a bit of security because no one in Hawaii messed with people on Hawaiian Homestead land. It just wasn't done. Well, unless you were the Government, but that was a whole different issue which I'm not going to get into.
“Hey, Horacio,” I walked across the packed dirt drive to shake Horacio's hand. “How's it going?”
“Going good, Princess,” he blinked his dark brown eyes at me, still looking a little confused. Then he searched my company. “Lord Tiernan isn't with you?”
“No, he's back in Twilight,” I didn't offer any more details. “We just need to use the rath to get back to the High Council House. Do you mind?”
“Not at all,” he stammered, sheathing his sword finally. “Um,” he swept off his Greek fisherman's cap, scratched at his thick thatch of walnut hair, looked over my Guard, and then plopped the hat back on his head. “This way,” he started around the side of the house.
“Hey, do you think I could store the SUV here until I have a chance to come back?” I asked him.
“Of course, no problem, Princess,” Horacio didn't even bother to look back at me, just nodded his head. “Leave it as long as you like. There's plenty of room in the drive.”
The rath was hidden within a hau tree forest. It was a good hiding spot, as the Hawaiian tree had wide-reaching branches that, if left unchecked, would grow over upon itself, falling to the ground and weaving with other hau trees until it became a labyrinthine maze of tangled tree limbs and foot-sucking mud. You could get lost in a hau tree forest very easily. But with a wave of his hand, Horacio removed his fairy glamour and revealed a path through the trees. It was very well maintained, with a wood plank walkway which led right up to a moss-covered cave.
“Happy trails, Princess,” Horacio tipped his hat to me. “Tell the Lord Hunter I said hi.”
“Will do,” I removed the car keys from Ewan's key fob, and handed them to Horacio. “Thanks again.”
He nodded and waved a hand. The glamour settled over the path again, sealing us in, and Horacio went back to whatever he'd been doing before we'd arrived. I gave a deep sigh and went up to the golden door set into the mouth of the cave. There was a scene of a castle and a forest on it, carved out of a single piece of onyx. Over the castle hung a silver moon. Clearly, this door led to Unseelie. But it didn't matter, we could use any rath to go anywhere we wanted. It was good to be twilight fey.
I opened the door and went into the dark. My Guard followed me in, and one of them lit a little fairy globe for us to see by. Again, it didn't matter. We were the only type of fairy who didn't need to worry about wandering off the path. In fact, that was precisely what we were about to do.
“I'll meet you all in the garden of the High Fairy Council's rath in Ireland,” I was very specific, despite the fact that we all knew where we were headed. It was my way of preparing the rath. A sort of declaration of intent.
“Right behind you, Princess,” Conri smirked, his canine teeth looking more savage in the dim light.
I nodded and stepped off the firm ground of the rath's path. I didn't fall exactly, but I wasn't on the earth anymore either. I was sort of cushioned in space, a weightless feeling that was a balm to me. Like being held by your mother. That was the sort of peace the In-Between gave me. It lasted mere moments, but I was calmer when I stepped out onto the thick grass within the High Fairy Council's rath room in Ireland.
Yeah, I know, rath room. It's catchy isn't it? In fact, it sounds catchy in a bad way, like you might get a disease if you stayed too long. Or get your butt kicked. But it wasn't wrathful at all. It was a mini Garden of Eden. A lush little paradise of olive trees and blooming flowers growing up and over the hill of the first rath to ever be created. The rath made by Anu's passing from Fairy to Earth.
It w
as the biggest rath I'd ever seen, and the most beautiful. Its gate glowed in the shafts of moonlight streaming down through the canopy of olive branches above it. The gold gate had double doors with an image of a long, slim island carved into them. Over that island hung a gold sun, a silver moon, and a silver star. A sign proclaiming to all that this rath led to the sacred Isle of Danu, and from there, you could enter any fairy kingdom you wished.
I breathed in the fresh, crisp, night air, looking up to the smattering of stars that was nearly as bright as those in Fairy. Up there, in the mountains of Ireland, there were less lights to compete with the celestial bodies. In Fairy, there may not be any electrical lights, but there were all sorts of fairy lights, which you'd think would dampen the stars. But the population of Fairy was significantly less than that of Earth, with wide swaths of forest claiming most of the land, and so the sky sparkled even brighter there. The lack of air pollution didn't hurt either.
I strode out of the rath's garden and into the castle. The High Fairy Council House had been built around Anu's rath. Both of them had actually. There was an identical rath room in Fairy, at the center of the High Fairy Council House on the Isle of Danu. The raths were protected by stone walls and stoic fairy warriors. Just like the two who stared at me in surprise as I exited the rath room.
“Princess,” one of them nodded to me.
“Ambassador,” the other one said.
“Good evening, hunters,” I nodded back as I passed.
We all tromped up to our suite, where I left my Guard to their own devices while I freshened up. When my bedroom door closed behind me, I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned against it. Being around a group of people when you were in an emotionally volatile state could feel so constricting. One minute I wanted to cry, another left me shaking in fury, and yet another would bring stark fear. At least when I was alone, I could give into the emotions and let them rush through me, so I could then let them go.
Which is exactly what I did after I closed the door behind me. I pulled out the folded letters from the bag of personal items I'd brought back from Ewan's. Just seeing them again, hearing the crinkle of the fine parchment, made me want to throw up. My whole body began to shake and I fell to my knees beside the bed. Laying my head on the mattress, I wept. Sorry, Ewan, there had to be time made for these tears or they'd rise up and drown me. I had worked out my fury over Keir's actions, and now I had to vent my sorrow.
I felt horribly betrayed. It seemed like betrayal was just piling up on me. I know that sounds fatalistic, but in the middle of a cry fest, my mind tended to wander in that direction. It was like I needed to focus on all the most horrible aspects of my situation, every bad angle it could possibly have, so that I could expel the nastiness within me. Then, after the purge, I could start to heal.
And I did. I felt much stronger after I'd given into the tears. I stood up and resolutely put Keir's letters away in a drawer beside the bed. Then I went into the bathroom and turned the water on hot. I needed a long shower and then an even longer nap. But even under the spray of steaming water, I kept seeing Keir's flowing script in my mind. The words that had sent Ewan to his death.
We must protect our daughter from every possible threat. Watch these witches carefully, Ewan. Watch them for her sake and ours.
Chapter Thirty-One
I dreamed about death, dying without dying. Nightmares about being trapped in a rotting corpse, forced to hurt my friends while my enemies laughed. Basically, I dreamed I was Ewan.
I groaned and rubbed my eyes, turning towards the meager strips of sunlight which sliced their way beneath my bedroom curtains. For a second, it felt as if even the dawn was attacking me. But then I took a deep breath and let go of the remnants of my quaking fear. At least I'd got a full night's sleep in an actual bed. Not the best sleep, but my body was happy to take what it could get.
I cracked my neck and stretched as I headed for the bathroom, tripping over the duffel bag of clothes, books, and weapons I'd taken from my old room in Ewan's house. Ewan's. I didn't think of it as mine anymore. I guess it wasn't anybody's anymore. It was only a rental, one paid for by the Council, and most of the household goods in it weren't worth much. But there were a few treasures to be saved.
I hissed, stubbing my toe on a book that had fallen out of the bag. It wasn't just any book, but a photo album. The only one my family had. We weren't big on pictures, but we did like to preserve the happiest moments with a couple of snapshots. I picked up the album and laid it on the bed, flipping it open to scan a couple of the photographs. It helped drive away the shadows of my nightmare.
I rubbed a finger over my mother's smiling face. She was looking at Ewan adoringly, and I knew suddenly that what Keir had wrote to Ewan had been true. Catriona had loved her husband. She'd just loved a fairy king more. The thought made something shake at the base of my throat. A flutter of anxiety. Could a woman love two men equally? Or must there always be a ranking system, even in love? What if my mother hadn't loved Keir more? Could she really have separated herself from him if she had? Maybe Catriona had actually lived her life exactly as she'd wanted to. A family with Ewan and a secret fantasy with Keir. The best of both worlds. The best of both men.
I closed the book, then thought twice and flipped it back open. After sliding open the drawer on the bedside table, I pulled out Keir's letters and put them inside my family photo album. It sounded wrong, but it felt right. I closed the book, reuniting us all in some small way, before I headed into the bathroom.
After seeing to my morning's business and getting dressed in some of my old human clothes, I felt much better. I went out into the main room, expecting some kind of proclamation to be awaiting me. Surely the combination of hunters, extinguishers, and witches had come up with a lead. I knew the Councils had vast resources at their disposal, and I was sure the Coven must have capabilities they hadn't shared with us yet. They'd been tracking both Councils for years, that spoke of some serious networking. One of the groups had to have come up with a way to find Uisdean.
But grim faces awaited me in the central room of our conjoined suite. When I looked pointedly at Conri, he shook his head. No news. I growled my way over to the coffee pot and started a fresh pot. It looked as if my Guard had been up for hours and had already finished both a pot of coffee and one of tea. There were remnants of a meal on the table as well.
“What time is it?” I asked the room in general.
“Eleven,” Ainsley answered. “You had a nice long sleep, Princess.”
“I suppose I needed it,” I sighed and leaned against the little counter in the kitchenette, waiting for the coffee to brew.
“Are you going to tell us what upset you?” Conri asked, and the rest of the Guard made chiding noises at him. “What? She's our princess. If we can't ask her, who can?”
“No one should ask her,” Gradh snapped at him. “That's the point. We're supposed to protect her from idiots like you.”
“I'm an idiot, am I?” Conri looked as if he were going to say more, causing Gradh's beautiful sunset skin to turn more pink than bronze.
Interesting. But I didn't want Gradh embarrassed, and I had another point to make.
“You can ask me anything,” I interrupted them. “Conri is right. You're my closest friends. Family really. So yes, you can ask me any question you'd like. I can't guarantee an answer, but you can ask.”
“Then?” Conri insisted. “Will you answer my question?”
“I found some correspondence between my fathers,” I said carefully, without emotion. If I added any tone to it, I might break down. “Keir had been writing to Ewan.”
“Damn,” Conri whistled. “And the King never told you?”
“No,” I swallowed hard. “He also seems to have been the impetus for Ewan's request to be included in this last mission.”
The room went quiet. Nine pairs of eyes stared somberly at me as the true meaning of what I'd said sunk in. Their expressions shifted slowly, settling on everything from
shock to disappointment. It wasn't easy to hear that a man you idolized had faults, just like everyone else.
“Yo, what's shaking?” Killian walked in, looking gorgeous.
He had on the same outfit as before, but it appeared to have been laundered, because all the dirt stains were gone. His deep auburn hair was freshly brushed and his ivy eyes sparkled with vitality. He'd obviously had no trouble sleeping.
“What's with all the funeral faces?” Killian scanned the room.
“Seriously, dumb ass?” Conri growled at him. “Do you not recall what the Princess is going through?”
“Right,” Killian's expression fell. “Sorry. Wrong choice of words.”
The smell of coffee seeped around me, the soft bubbling sound of the brewing relaxing me. I had a flash of sitting at a little, chipped, Formica table, picking at a scone while Ewan poured coffee for my mother and me. Catriona hadn't been the best cook, breakfast was usually some sort of pastry bought the day before, but I loved mornings with them. Just waking up slowly with some sugar and caffeine, staring into each other's sleepy faces.
This particular memory featured Ewan kissing my mother's cheek as he laid her cup before her. She had held his face against her, as if savoring that small contact, and I had thought to myself that their love was what I wanted someday. Of course back then, I had believed I'd find it with another extinguisher. That my life would be exactly like theirs. Another little table, in another little home, with my own daughter watching my husband kiss my cheek fondly.
I pushed the memory away with a sigh. Life is rarely what you expect it to be. Then I realized that everyone was staring at me, waiting for me to accept Killian's apology... or tell him to go to hell. I shook my head and turned to grab us some mugs.
