When I finished eating, the quiet started to get to me. I put on some music, and then took to the couch with my sketchpad. If I were really going to find some answers, like it or not, I needed to give this a go.
I opened the pad to a clean page and stared at it. And then I stared at it some more. Anxiety made my hand shake. I tried to steady it. I knew I needed to do this, but somehow I couldn’t seem to make myself say or even think the Ethan wish. Which was stupid. I almost phoned Chloe to see if she’d come over for moral support, but just as quickly changed my mind. She had a date that night. With Kyle.
Again, my eyes found the page. “You can do this,” I whispered. Reminding myself it was better to know, I forced my mouth to move. “I wish to draw a picture of Ethan and the woman he marries.”
Nothing happened, so I said my wish again, putting more conviction into my voice. My baby kicked, but other than that, still nothing. Did my fears interfere with the magic? Or did this mean Ethan wasn’t going to get married, like I’d thought about Kyle? Or was Chloe right and I couldn’t directly draw my own future, which would then mean Ethan’s future was with me? Ugh. The same could then be said for Kyle, couldn’t it?
Sudden knocking at my door dragged my attention off the pad, off my worries. Stumbling a little, I opened the door to see Ethan standing on the other side, sexy grin and all. And in that second, everything in my world seemed right again.
“Hey! Come on in,” I said.
He angled inside, one arm behind his back. “I hope you don’t mind the unexpected visit. I was out, and you were on my mind, and then I saw these”—he brought his arm around to show me the bouquet of multicolored roses he held—“and I thought of you.”
“Oh. Wow.” Tears gathered in my eyes. I tipped my head so he wouldn’t see. When was the last time a man had given me flowers? So long, I didn’t even remember. “They’re beautiful. I love them. I…um…should get them in some water.”
He followed me to the kitchen. I found a vase, added water and then arranged the roses, all with my back to Ethan. Dipping my nose down, I breathed in the scent. Prickles whisked along my skin, because that scent? It reminded me of Miranda. And of course that brought everything to the surface.
“Thank you.” I cringed when my voice cracked.
“Are you okay? Did I come at a bad time?” In a flash he stood behind me, his hands on my waist. His lips touched the top of my head. “Talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
“Did something happen after you left work today?” His body tensed, tightened. “Honey? Did you get bad news at the doctor’s?”
“No! Not that. Everything’s fine there. I’ll be having an ultrasound soon, even.” He moved his arms so they encircled my waist, and pulled me against him.
“Then what? Do the roses upset you?” he asked lightly. “Would another type of flower have been a better choice?”
“The roses are perfect.” But then, because I didn’t know how to tell him what was really bothering me, I told him about the job offer.
“Ah. And you’re considering it?”
“It’s a better fit for me, so yes. But…well…I hate the idea of not being around you.”
A low chuckle tumbled out; the sound of it wrapped around me. “You can’t get rid of me that easily. If this job is what you want, you should take it. But you’ll still see me, Alice. At least, until you tell me to go away.”
He loosened his grip so I could turn around. Lifting my chin, I looked into his eyes, and in a whoosh, the crazy stuff inside steadied. How could this man have such an effect on me if he wasn’t my soul mate?
“I don’t want to tell you to go away,” I murmured.
“Then don’t.”
I reached my hands behind his head and tugged it down. Closing my eyes, I waited for our lips to touch. When they did, the kiss was hesitant, soft. I moaned and prodded his mouth open with my tongue. His hands slipped underneath my shirt, stroking my back, his touch searing into me, starting a heady stream of desire.
Our kiss deepened, and all I wanted was for it to continue, so I pushed myself closer to him, opened my mouth wider, and let myself just experience the moment. It was as if every sense came alive as we tasted, touched, consumed each other, and never before had I craved a man like I craved Ethan. I wanted more. So. Much. More.
He seemed to know my thoughts, my feelings, because he groaned. His lips left mine, trailing kisses from my mouth, to my cheek, and then to my ear, sending another wash of yearning cascading into me, through me. “You’re entirely too enticing, Alice,” he said. His voice was low, quiet, but with an edge of longing hanging on each word.
He wanted me as much as I wanted him: the realization nearly undid me. Separating myself from his embrace, I wiped my swollen lips and said, “What I feel for you…it goes beyond reason. I don’t know how to quantify it.”
Stroking the plane of my cheek with one finger, with eyes as dark as a stormy night, he looked at me, searching. “I believe I’m falling in love with you, and like you said not that long ago, it startles me. It surprises me. I never expected to feel this way again.”
“Ethan…what we have is so strong, I’m still reeling from it. How can it be real? How can this be something I can believe in?” The question was unfair. What I really wanted to hear wasn’t something he’d be able to say, because he didn’t have all the facts. But my breath still caught as I waited.
“It’s a little scary, isn’t it? More so for you than for me, I imagine. All I know is I wake up each morning with you in my head, and you’re still there when I go to sleep. I feel as if I already know you, that I have known you forever.” He paused, as if struggling to find the correct words to say exactly what he wanted to say. “But even so, every facet of your personality intrigues me. You are a woman I can see spending my life with.”
I nodded, unable to speak. The emotions in his eyes, in his voice, filled me with happiness…but also with confusion and worry. Because guess what? I felt the same way.
“Oh, Ethan,” I murmured. I was this close to pulling him into the living room, to showing him the drawing, to explaining every last detail to him, when he dragged me into his arms again.
“I see your worry, Alice. Trust me when I say you can believe in me. I’ll never lie to you, like Troy did. I’ll wait for as long as you need to see that’s the truth.”
Oh, God. He thought my apprehension was over Troy. Well, duh, what else would he think? “I do believe in you.”
“Good. That’s all I want. Remember what I said: we don’t have to hurry or rush into anything. But I will always be honest with you about how I feel.” He kissed me again, and for a few minutes my fears abated. When we disengaged, he smiled and once again stroked my cheek. “As much as I don’t want to, I should go. We have all day tomorrow, and it looks as if the weather is going to be perfect for my plans.” I nodded again, and saw him to the door. One more kiss, and I was alone.
How could I be happy, hopeful, and filled with despair all at once? I shuddered. A weight sat there, on my shoulders, inside of me, as I brushed my teeth and washed my face. And when I crawled into bed, I curled one of my pillows up and held it close. Somehow I began drifting off. Right before I completely dropped into sleep, I murmured into my pillow, “I need to know what will happen if I ignore this warning, if I end up without my soul mate or choose a man that isn’t. I wish…I wish I could see.”
The tide of sleep swept me away to a place I didn’t recognize. There were no walls, no air, no ground, no nothing, just a vast, empty space. I realized I was dreaming but couldn’t shake myself out of it. Like before, yet different, I suddenly saw Miranda cradling her belly, thinking about her daughters—and then their daughters. The flash of faces began again, one after another, in lightning speed. Some of the people I recognized, some I didn’t. They sped by so fast, I couldn’t keep up.
When the final face staring at me was my daughter, the dream—vision—changed. Weirdly, what appeared befor
e me, around me, was like a split screen, and I knew without understanding how one side of the screen was my daughter growing up in the best scenario: the one where I found my soul mate. The other side was the worst, where either he was never found or I ignored the warning. I didn’t know which, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that I was finally going to understand what Miranda’s prophecy meant, and how it affected me and my child.
On the good side, my daughter grew up confident and sure about who she was, what her power was; and while I couldn’t see actual details of her life, I felt her emotions, like I’d felt Miranda’s. Oh, she was glorious, and the pride and love inside of me grew so large, so strong, that it almost made the other side of the screen disappear into nothingness.
But I had to know, so I forced myself to watch, to feel. And while the love for my daughter remained just as strong, fear for her sank in, drowning out the pride, because here her emotions were all about what she could do with her power, gaining more, going for whatever she wanted without thought or concern for those around her. Power-hungry. Addicted to magic. Seeking. This version of my daughter was always searching for something she couldn’t find, believing she’d find it within her magic. Her desperation grew as she sought, suffocating those around her, creating chaos and havoc in her relentless search. I knew with every bone in my body that this outcome would ruin everyone with whom she came into contact: me, my family, my friends, and yes, even the Wrong Man. And eventually, my beloved daughter would self-destruct.
My heart breaking, agony tearing through me, eating at me, I focused on the other side again, where I could feel her happiness, her confidence, her belief in herself and in using her magic for good. I considered again the choices before me, and—
I woke with a start, sweat pouring down my face and back. Jumping from bed, I ran to the restroom and turned the cold water on full blast, splashing my cheeks with it. My life, my daughter’s life, the lives of those I loved were in my hands. I splayed my fingers in the pouring water, watching the liquid run through.
Slowly, I lifted my chin and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Not only would my daughter destroy herself, she’d destroy Ethan if he wasn’t my soul mate. I remembered Miranda’s words, and her message about pure love and the guidance of the right man merged with what I’d just seen. Comprehension slid in, just like the water rippling over my hands. To my way of thinking, that meant my daughter needed something that only my soul mate and I together could give. Balance, maybe. Or it could be as simple as her being raised with that type of love around her from her very first breath.
I weighed this new knowledge, thought about it, and then considered my feelings for Ethan. As much as I believed he was, indeed, my soul mate, this changed everything. Drastically. If at any time it became obvious he wasn’t the man in my drawing, I’d have to move on, I’d have to keep searching. Because not only would I do anything—everything—to protect my daughter from the destructive future I’d just seen…well, no way would I allow my family, my friends and even Ethan to be affected by the wrong choice.
I curled my hands around the still-pouring water, its coldness seeping into my skin, into my heart. For the very first time, I truly understood how high the stakes were.
“I’ll protect you,” I whispered, my wet hands going to my stomach. “I promise. I’ll do what’s right for you, no matter what.”
Even if my own heart broke in the process.
Chapter Fifteen
The sun dappled the water, creating glistening sparkles of light almost as far as the eye could see. “This is amazing. I didn’t know you sailed,” I said to Ethan. He’d shown up that morning with a huge picnic basket in tow. I’d assumed we were heading out for a hike, but when he asked me if I had a problem with motion sickness, I knew I was wrong.
Luckily, I didn’t. And with my morning sickness a thing of the past, so far everything had been…well, smooth sailing.
“It’s a passion of mine. I’ve had this boat for about two years.” We’d dropped anchor a few minutes earlier, and now we were both seated on deck. It wasn’t a large space, but certainly big enough for the two of us. “I thought it would be nice to get away from everything and relax. So we could really talk.”
“I love that.” I took in the sights around me—the water, other boats dotting the horizon, even a few water-skiers—and sighed. “I love this. Thank you for bringing me here.”
“You’re very welcome.” He dug out a bottle of sunscreen and offered it to me. “I don’t want you to burn. The sun is stronger than it seems, and you’re fairly pale.”
Accepting it, I squeezed out a glob and began rubbing it into my legs, and then my arms, aware that his gaze stayed planted on me the entire time. We both wore khaki shorts and white T-shirts, a fact Ethan had found humorous, and I found…well, hopeful. Dumb, huh? Like the accidental choice of similar clothes meant anything other than a weird coincidence.
When I finished, I tossed the bottle back to him. He caught it easily, and coated his own skin with a layer of the coconut-scented lotion. And then we just sat in silence for I don’t know how long, and it was exactly what I needed after the previous night.
The quiet wasn’t uncomfortable; it didn’t make me feel like I needed to fill it with words or actions, so I didn’t. I leaned back in my chair and stretched my legs as much as I could, the sun warm on my skin, the breeze light on my face, enjoying the gentle sway of the boat, and I did exactly what Ethan had suggested: relaxed. I didn’t allow myself to dwell on my dream, because at that moment nothing had changed as far as Ethan went. And even though I knew what I had to do, and I planned on doing it, today was a gift.
After a while, I shielded my eyes with my hand and regarded the man sitting across from me. His eyes were closed, his legs stretched in front of him, his arms cradled behind his head. I sort of wanted to ease myself into his lap, caress his jawline, stroke his arms, and then drag him into the cabin and yank every bit of clothing off of him.
Okay, not sort of. That was exactly what I wanted to do.
I restrained myself, because while I’d have loved every freaking minute of it, I needed to gather some information. I’d thought long and hard about it all morning while getting ready. I’d continued to think about it on the car ride over, and even as I had watched him maneuver the sailboat to our present position. Obviously logic didn’t have an iota to do with how I felt about him, because there was no logic; things were just what they were. And while I still wanted to see his shoulder, there were other avenues open to me until I did. For one, I could definitely learn more about the man, and maybe that would erase some of my questions.
Of course, it could open up other questions. But it was worth the chance. I couldn’t wait forever.
The first thing was determining how closed off he was to the idea of magic. “Ethan?”
“Hmm?” His eyes remained shut.
“Why did you name your company Enchanted Expressions? What with your feelings about the supernatural and all?”
One eye opened and then the other. “That’s an interesting question. Part of it was business-minded. People come to us and they want us to create magic for them, for their companies. I felt the name was appropriate, given that consideration.”
“There’s more, though?”
“As I said before, I grew up in my grandparents’ house. My grandmother was a major influence on me, and she lives her life based much on old-world traditions, many of which are grounded in the supernatural.” He blinked, and his smile broadened. “She’s an incredible woman. I would have to say that part of the reason Enchanted Expressions has its name is because of her. In a way, it’s meant to honor her and her beliefs.”
“Even if you don’t believe yourself?”
“I’m not a complete nonbeliever, Alice. It’s a little hard to explain. Let’s leave it that I’m open-minded, but prefer to make choices based on things I know and see rather than things that can’t be proven. Does that make sense?”
“It does.” It helped me feel somewhat better too. I mean, as long as he was open-minded, there was a chance he’d accept the power that existed in my family. “I think it’s really great you love your grandmother so much.”
“It’s no more than the love I see between you and Verda. There’s another woman who definitely has some out-there beliefs.”
I laughed. “She’s always been that way. I grew up hearing about magic and wishes and now I understand why.” Oops. Big oops, because I hadn’t meant to say that.
He’d caught on too. “What do you mean?”
I tried to make light of my words. “Just family stuff. We have a long and varied history that I’ve only recently learned about.” Yay! Points to me for not lying.
“I think most families, if they search back far enough, will find something.” Curiosity gleamed for just a second in his eyes, and I thought he was going to ask me more about it, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “Anything else you want to know? I feel further questions emanating from you. I told you last night I’d always be honest, so don’t hesitate.”
As much as I worried about the magic, my next question concerned me even more. I exhaled and sat up straight. “Well. Just one more, actually, and it’s probably something I should have asked before now.”
He must have noticed the seriousness in my voice, because he leaned toward me. “Okay. I’m listening.”
“I’m having a baby,” I blurted.
Humor darted over his features. “I know that, Alice.”
“Yeah. Right. Of course you do. But if…well, if we were to become even more serious, you’d have a certain role in this child’s life. I guess I need to know if you’ve thought about that at all. Because that’s important to me.”
“Of course I have. I’ve given it considerable thought, actually.”
“And?” Everything inside of me tensed while I awaited his response.
“I wouldn’t be here with you now if I had any worries on that front. I’ve felt this magnetic pull toward you since the moment we met, and it hasn’t eased.” He paused, watching me carefully, shoulders tensed.
A Stroke Of Magic Page 23
