My thoughts, as usual, reverted to Ethan, his proposal, and the look in his eyes when I’d walked out his door. Pain curled inside of me again, just as fresh as it had at that moment. In my heart, I still couldn’t believe he wasn’t my soul mate. Did that mean I was missing something, or wanted it to be true so badly I only hoped that was the case? Miranda had told me to believe, but that could mean anything. She’d also said the answers were there, if I’d only look for them.
But I had looked. Repeatedly. And kept coming up blank. Even my new understanding of my magic hadn’t made a difference. Honestly? I was kind of sick of the whole magic thing, because if it couldn’t help me, if it couldn’t point me to Ethan, what good was it?
Ugh. I hated this. I hated how much I missed him, how drained and empty each and every day felt. Not to mention how much it freaking hurt.
Weird, how not that long ago, all I’d wanted was to find some measure of control in my life, and now…well, I’d give up any and all control if doing so would give me Ethan back. The barest image flickered into my mind, but before I could really grasp it and bring it into focus, I saw someone—a man—out of the corner of my eye. And it was him. The man I’d drawn with Chloe. Her ever after!
He strolled toward me, toward the exit, holding a take-out cup. My pulse sped up as I stared at him, trying to be sure. Was it really him? Light hair, chiseled cheekbones, strong jaw—oh yeah, definitely and without a doubt it was the same guy.
Should I say something? Try to get his phone number? His name? I didn’t know what to do. He was almost to me, and because there was no way in hell this opportunity was going to slip through my fingers, I jerked my legs off the chair, thinking I’d wave him over and maybe, just maybe, he’d sit down. The chair fell to the ground with a crash.
Chloe’s guy stopped in front of me, knelt down, and grabbed the chair. Setting it upright, he smiled—“There you go!”—and kept walking.
No. I couldn’t let him just walk away! Shoving my phone into my purse, I jumped up and followed him out the door. I was about to yell at him to stop, when I had second thoughts. Miranda had said he wasn’t ready. That if I told Chloe about him now, I could change their future. What if, simply by talking to him, I’d still screw it up?
That thought gave me pause. Enough pause that, while I continued to follow, I did so at a distance. I mean, I had to think about this. Luckily, a good number of pedestrians roamed the street, so keeping him in sight without showing myself proved fairly easy. And he didn’t go far. At the end of the block, he stopped in front of a black-windowed office building and swiped a card into the locking mechanism at the door, letting himself in.
After he disappeared, I waited a few minutes and then rushed to the building. My gaze swept over the lettering on the door and excitement eased in. I smiled the first real smile I’d had in what felt like forever. Okay, then. I might not know his name, but I knew where the guy was employed. It looked like Chloe’s ever after was an architect, and seeing as how he had access to the building on a Saturday, probably a highly ranked architect, at that.
For the first time in two weeks, a hint of positive anticipation whisked over me. When the day came that I could finally share the drawing with Chloe, I’d at least be able to send her in the right direction. So she, unlike me, would know who her soul mate was right from the get-go.
Maybe my magic didn’t completely bite, after all.
Every part of me refused to relax. I’d taken a bubble bath, only to be reminded of Ethan and the night we had made love. Then I’d done a load of laundry, only to find his T-shirt, which I’d yet to wash, and that also reminded me of Ethan. Next, I’d flipped on the television, only to see a commercial for a local boating club’s upcoming regatta. Yep, you got it—memories of being with Ethan on his sailboat flew back at me.
Everywhere I looked, I saw him. And because of that, relaxing wasn’t going to happen.
Maybe when Chloe returned from her date with Kyle, she’d play a game with me. Or watch a DVD. Anything to pull my thoughts away from him, from what I’d lost, from what I still craved. Thank God she was still staying with me.
“Screw this,” I muttered. There had to be something I could do. Something to prove everything I felt. Because my love for Ethan? It was alive, bright, and so very real.
Grabbing my sketchbook, I reclined on my bed and flipped through all of the drawings again. There had to be a clue in there somewhere, if I just looked hard enough. Thirty minutes passed during which I mentally dissected each and every picture, pulling them apart in my mind and then putting them back together. My answer was here. I knew it. I just couldn’t find it.
Exasperation floated in. I dropped the sketchpad with a sigh. I wouldn’t figure anything out if I remained an emotional basket case. Maybe if I focused on something else, and put the whole soul mate thing on the back burner, my subconscious would work it out? It was worth a chance—hell, anything was worth the chance I was after—so I laid back against my pillows, closed my eyes, breathed evenly and emptied my brain of all thoughts, all worries.
The first face that popped up was Kyle’s. That ticked me off and nearly undid the whole calm thing I was going for. Not only because I’d already crossed him off the list, but because noway, nohow was it him. I knew that to the core of my being. I didn’t need to know why; I just knew. And I didn’t want him in my head, so I shoved him away.
Some more deep, even breaths: in, out, in, out. Chloe’s image came drifting in, and my love for her. And then Miranda. The thing that had bothered me the other day but I hadn’t paid attention to rolled in next. This time, I paid attention. You know, the weird fact that Chloe had been able to smell the roses, followed by what Miranda had said to her.
She needs you, and you need her.
Maybe? I mean, we did need each other…but coming from Miranda, well, it likely wasn’t that simple. And then, suddenly, I realized what it was. The rush of clarity propelled me forward and I jumped from the bed like a crazy person. Retrieving the drawing I’d shown Shelby from my purse, I unfolded and stared at it. Every single person on the page in front of me was a female somehow connected to me by blood. Family.
My family.
Chloe had certainly seemed like family from almost the moment we’d met. But was I right? Adrenaline pumped through me. I searched each and every face, recognizing some but not all. Damn it. For a minute, I’d actually believed Chloe’s face would be there…hiding in the masses, somehow. And that would prove she was my family. For real.
She wasn’t.
I bit my lip, trying to bring back the rush of faces from the vision. Ha. That was so not going to happen. There were too many for me to remember clearly, and the real problem was I didn’t recall seeing Chloe in that jumble, either. No way had I gotten every face from that vision in the drawing, though I’d managed to get quite a few. I scanned the page again, taking it all in. Some were of babies, some of little girls, some as young women, and others as old. Making sense of it was nearly impossible.
The paper crinkled in my hand, I was squeezing it so tight. I almost let go, let it flutter to the ground, but I was so close, I could feel the truth of that spinning around inside of me. So instead I relaxed my grip and thought about my magic, about what I’d been able to do and what I hadn’t. What was it Miranda said? “The magic is changing,” I whispered. And while I had some ability with wishes, it was…
Wait. Part of it was seeing glimpses of the future. A little more of the puzzle clicked into place; my daughter kicked and shivers poured down my spine. Part was seeing the future. So, what was the other part? And then, as if I’d reached out and plucked an apple off of a tree, I had my answer. Or I thought I did.
The past. Could I use my magic to draw scenes and images from the past? Might as well try.
I turned to a clean page in the sketchbook, picked up my pencil, and said, “I wish to draw a picture of Chloe’s mother when she was a baby, and then as a little girl, and then as an adult.”
Bam. The magic flew into me, though without the sparkles of light or color; sheer energy whipped in, through my hands and into the pencil. I began to draw. These pictures came forth rapidly, even quicker than either of the wedding drawings had. Maybe because the past was done and over and therefore a definite fact?
I didn’t know. It made sense, but it didn’t matter.
My hand continued to draw, to shade, adding some detail here and a little there. Tingles of electricity sped through me as I worked, as I drew. I so wanted to compare what I was now drawing with what I’d already drawn, but didn’t want to turn my eyes away for fear I’d screw something up. So I stayed focused, kept drawing, and let the tide of magic do its thing.
When the pictures were finally complete, the trembles washed away, and there in front of me were three very clear images. Supposedly, each of them was Chloe’s mother at a different stage in her life. Of course I had no way of knowing this for sure, at least not until Chloe returned, because I’d never met Chloe’s mother. Heck, I’d never even seen a photograph of her.
With the original drawing in one hand and the sketchpad in the other, I compared each and every face with the three I’d just drawn. About halfway through the page, the wide-eyed grin of a little girl stared at me; and while she wasn’t an identical match to the little-girl version of Chloe’s mother, she certainly appeared to be the same child.
Oh. My. God. If I was right, then Chloe really was my family. Not Shelby.
A whoosh of air hit me, and Miranda appeared. No colors. No weird, chaotic energy, either. Apparently, my ghostly grandmother didn’t feel the need to impress me with her optical or sensory illusions this time. That was fine by me.
“I knew you were strong enough to find the answer on your own. It was necessary for you to do so, because in this case I’d already stepped out of bounds once. My hands were tied, so to speak.” Happiness edged her every word, and if ghosts could bounce, well…she bounced.
“So, this is all real? Chloe has been in my life for what feels like forever. How…how did that happen? And don’t tell me it was a coincidence!”
“No, Alice. It was fate.” She winked at me and I almost laughed. Since when did ghosts wink? “Well, let’s just say it was fate with a little nudge on my part.”
“How? What did you do?”
Miranda laughed. “Why does it matter how it happened? I wanted you two girls to grow up together, to know each other, to be the family you were meant to be. And you did—you are. Even so, it took you forever to meet up. It was rather upsetting for me.”
“So sorry.” I narrowed my eyes and frowned. “Am I allowed to tell her about this?”
“Of course you are! And eventually I’ll visit her and help with what she has coming toward her.”
Okay, that phrasing worried me. In a huge freaking way. “Is it bad? What’s ‘coming toward her’?”
“She should be fine. Especially now! You’ve done so well.” Miranda shimmered, as if she were about to haze out. But, no way in hell.
“Don’t leave! I can tell you’re about to, so just don’t. We are going to talk.”
“But you don’t need me now…not for the question you’re going to ask. Alice, listen to me carefully: Just as I was right about this, I’m right about your soul mate. You have the answer already. Look harder for it. It’s all connected.”
Standing, I put my hands on my hips, furious. “I get that you can’t tell me everything, but I’m sure there is something you can say. Something to lead me in the right direction. So, think of it. Now. Because otherwise I’m tossing this whole soul mate crap out the window and doing what I want.” Wow. That was way, way more than I’d meant to say.
A smile of satisfaction curled Miranda’s lips. “Let me see. I’ve already told you the magic is changing…and this will continue to happen each time the gift is passed on.”
“Miranda!” I snapped.
“Ohhh.” She played coy. “You want me to tell you about your soul mate. About why you feel what you do for Ethan when he doesn’t match your drawing—is that it?”
“You know that’s it.” I ground the words out. Heavens, she was pushing my buttons, and apparently enjoying it.
“I suppose there is one thing I can tell you.” She shimmered again, and I was afraid she was going to disappear, but thankfully, her image resolidified. “Though it’s something you already know.”
“Go on. I can tell you’re losing power, or whatever.”
Another shimmer. “The beach drawing, Alice. Was that your magic or Elizabeth’s?” Before I could answer, she nodded. “That’s right. So if it isn’t your magic, then why are you using that as your guide? Look to your magic.”
“My magic? But all my magic has done is wedding pictures that aren’t of me.”
“Really? Look again. Try again. Now I have to leave. I’ll see you soon, dear granddaughter, but not until after your daughter is born. Be safe and do what’s right.”
And then she vanished.
I wasn’t upset this time, because it was fairly obvious she’d hung around as long as she could. Strangely, though, the thought of not seeing her for months saddened me a little. Somehow, I’d gotten used to her. Oh well, when she did show up again, she’d probably drop another bomb on my head, so maybe I should be grateful.
Once again, I grabbed my sketchbook, intent on flipping through it, on trying to figure out what Miranda had alluded to, when Chloe barged in. “There you are!” Her face split in two, she was smiling so hard. “I need to tell you something.”
“Oh yeah? I need to tell you something too.” And what a something! “You go first, though.”
“Kyle got a tattoo of an eagle,” she blurted. “It’s his spirit animal, but that’s not what’s important.”
“Then what is?” I asked, wanting her to hurry so I could give her my news.
“The tattoo is in the middle of his back! You know what that means…” She looked at me expectantly.
“Yay for Kyle?”
She laughed. “Don’t be so sarcastic. Don’t you see? There’s no way Kyle can be your soul mate, because the guy in the drawing doesn’t have a tattoo.”
“I already knew he wasn’t my soul mate, Chloe. I told you that…which is why you’re dating him, remember?”
“Yeah, but now I know 100 percent for sure. It’s made me feel loads better. Because things are…well, they’re kind of nice right now with him.”
“Then I’m glad.” And yeah, even though I’d settled the Kyle issue, it relieved me too. Though her other comment jarred me, knowing what I did about her future. Not that I could do a thing about it. Well, not now anyway. “So, come here and sit down. I want to show you something.”
Curious glints sparkled in her green eyes. She plopped down next to me. “What’s up?”
I picked up the drawing I’d just completed and put it in her hands.
Her chin dipped down as she took it in. “Um…Alice? This is my mother. Why did you draw her?” Confusion squinted her eyes. “Is it a gift?”
“It wasn’t meant to be, but you can certainly have it.” I picked up the other drawing, the one with all the faces, and passed it to her. “Look at this one.”
Her mouth scrunched as she appraised the picture. Her eyes darted from one face to another, and the minute she saw what I wanted her to see, another bolt of confusion swept over her. “What is this? I see Elizabeth here. And your grandmother. Why is my mother here too?”
I tried to keep my voice light. “You’re my family.”
“Well, duh. Haven’t we gone over this?”
My lips quirked. “No. I mean you’re really my family.” And then I told her the truth about her connection to me, and mine to her. I shared with her everything Miranda had said, word for word. “So, I don’t know how she got us together. But it seems our hearts knew all along what our brains didn’t. We’re family,” I said in a rush.
“Family? Not just me, my aunt, and my sister…but you. Elizabeth. Verda. O
h my God, this is…unexpected. And terrific! And wow. Just wow.” She blinked, and while she didn’t actually cry, her green eyes were way shinier than normal. Something else occurred to her, because her jaw dropped. “Do you realize what this means? Oh my God, Alice! I can have the magic. I can be like you and Elizabeth.”
I barely heard her, because instead what I heard was my own voice coming back at me: It seems our hearts knew all along what our brains didn’t. Was what I thought I knew about Ethan all along the actual truth, just like with Chloe, but I’d been too blind to see? To believe?
Maybe.
I wanted to grasp on to that and run with it, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more. But then, I thought of Kyle’s back and the tattoo he’d decided to get. The beach picture was in the future, which I’d always known, but it had never occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, the scar on my soul mate’s back wouldn’t exist in the present. And honestly? The only real reason it occurred to me now was because of Miranda questioning why I’d used it as my guide.
A long, hard tremble took me. “Maybe the scar happens a year from now. Or two years. Hell, who knows?” I mumbled.
“You’re on to something, aren’t you?” said Chloe.
“I think so, but…” I was about to say I didn’t have all of it yet, that it was still coming, when it slid into my comprehension. “Oh! I know! I know how to prove it is or isn’t Ethan once and for all…and it has nothing to do with that damn scar.”
See, the pieces of what Miranda had said came together, and suddenly I just got it. It was about the other part of my magic, the past part. All I had to do was draw a picture of my soul mate’s past. Like I’d done with Chloe’s mom. And if it were Ethan—well, I’d recognize him as surely as I had the photograph at his place.
“I need to go see Ethan. Right now.” I grabbed my sketchbook and my purse and headed for the door, because while I could use my magic to create the picture here, I wanted to do it with him.
A Stroke Of Magic Page 28
