She did a fair enough job, presenting both sides of the issue as any good journalist would. People read it. And then they responded. Some in appreciation of our candor, and some concerned and alarmed that by choosing to live with such archaic viewpoints, I was relegating myself, my strengths, and my gifts to a marital and theological lockbox for which only feminist ideals and principles held the key to freedom.
Thus the debate ensued, fueled by numerous blog postings and Facebook comments. And even though the technological forum may be something new, the clash of ideas is not. This battle has raged for centuries within the hearts of women. And that includes Christian women. For while we may possess an appreciation for many of the rights and recognitions that have been hard won by courageous women of years gone by, we want to balance it with our simultaneous desire to protect the venerated definition of womanhood as it’s presented to us in God’s Word. This is not a cop-out. It is a commitment to honor the One who created us female and who knows us best, who has proven time and again that only in obedience to His plan for us will we find ultimate fulfillment.
If you’ll look closely and objectively, you’ll see that the principles and ideals championed through the years by women desperate to redefine and reestablish what it means to be feminine have quietly, cunningly swung the pendulum too far in one direction. Again, I’ll agree that some of the cries and appeals have led to the correction of legitimate injustices—low valuations of women that have always flown in the face of biblical teaching and the heart of God. But many, if not most, of these vocal initiatives have robbed our gender of much of the uniqueness we’ve been created to exhibit and experience. This independent, autonomous, self-centered streak has swelled to such an extent—and become such a part of our cultural thinking and mind-set—that we’re often unaware of its harmful effect on our choices until we’re living with the disruptive, chaotic consequences.
A Christian woman—one who proudly wears the badge of womanhood given by her Father—must resolve to go against the tide. She must stand for what she believes based on her confidence in the One who has delivered eternal truth to her in writing. She must return to God’s design and definition for women and then joyfully embrace, accept, and experience its blessings.
God’s ways are good.
They are all good.
You, God’s woman, are designed both strong and vulnerable. Powerful yet tender. More than able yet willing to yield. You are smart, wise, capable, equal in worth, and secure in yourself as you relate to others yet content in your God-given role. You are a paradox—a potent mixture that surprises with your controlled energy, who inspires and entices by your mysterious grace, whose lifestyle causes others to reconsider and refocus their presuppositions, drawing them toward the God who makes a woman so rich, deep, and captivating.
So purposefully feminine.
Your stage may not be the New York Times. Very likely mine will never be again. But we are all on a platform every day, a position entrusted to us each morning when we swing our legs out of bed. From atop this daily rostrum, you and I remain constantly in the spotlight, where the life we’ve resolved to live will either champion or demote the beauty of biblical femininity. We will cause our daughters either to desire it or to fight against it. We will encourage our sons either to appreciate it or to take advantage of it.
Yes, this platform has been entrusted to us. As a result, an audience of friends, family, loved ones, children, coworkers, and public acquaintances are all watching not only to see how we live but to ascertain our attitude as we live it.
What kind of woman are you going to be?
Your answer is at the heart of this resolution.
• How have you seen feminist ideals affect women in the way they . . .
Dress?
Act?
Make decisions?
• What are some of the most noticeable ways you see young women turning away from biblical womanhood?
• What biblical principles of womanhood strike you as stifling or repressive? Why do you think you feel that way?
• As you continue to read, offer your concerns about this issue to the Lord in prayer. Ask Him to use this time to answer your concerns and reaffirm His priorities for you in this area.
It’s Good to Be a Girl
A news program recently reported that agnostics know as much or more about God as religious people do. You never know exactly what to make of studies and statistics like these, but researchers apparently stood outside a church service of some kind and asked the people coming out to name the first four books of the New Testament. Most couldn’t.
Shocking, right?
Or is it?
Our cultural attendance and participation in religious activities may still be somewhat steady, but it’s no real surprise that our knowledge of God and His Word is sadly waning. And in few places is this deficiency more noticeable than with women’s knowledge and understanding of the biblical definition of womanhood. The only possible way for us to live out and champion our Christian faith as women in a culture inundated with feministic ideals is if we are aware of what this faith entails, if we are aware of God’s intention in creating us.
At the root of the feminist movement—and still one of the primary concerns of our modern culture—is the inequality between men and women. This is specifically addressed in Scripture. You were created in God’s likeness. “God created man in His own image. . . . He created them male and female” (Genesis 1:27). You, as a woman, are worth neither less nor more than your male counterparts. You are different, obviously, but only in function (which I’ll address in the next chapter), not in value.
Centuries of human history testify to how this God-given truth has become twisted into inappropriate ideas and labels, which societal structures have parlayed into extreme examples of abuse and subjugation. The false perception that an inequality of value exists between men and women has caused many women to be taken advantage of. Honestly, I’m surprised that a united uprising of women against these demeaning prejudices took as long as it did.
But you, sister, are not only an equal partner in the created order; you have been called “good” by God Himself—“very good,” in fact (v. 31).
And not just good but necessary.
Adam alone couldn’t accomplish the tasks assigned to mankind by the Creator. Man was in need of a partner, someone who could help him fulfill his mandate. Without her, these endeavors would go undone.
So from the beginning, God placed a mark of importance on women. They were (1) good because they bore His image and (2) necessary in the achievement of His purposes on earth. Look around you at the sphere of influence the Lord has placed you within. This circle of people and circumstances is in need of you. The touch, experience, wisdom, and feminine heart you bring into these arenas are all required if their outcome is to be what He has purposed it to be. You are not an addendum, a last-minute afterthought that can be tossed out without notice. Without your participation and input, much will be lacking. This was God’s intention.
Yet with man’s fall into sin and the decay of the human condition, women soon became downgraded and relegated to obscure, second-rate status. Throughout the annals of the Old Testament, we see them failing to be treasured, prized, and cherished as the Creator had intended them to be.
Enter Jesus Christ. With the coming of the Messiah in the New Testament, God reaffirmed the significance of women through the life of Christ, who countered a culture that demoted women’s importance and value. He exemplified instead, in the flesh, the true heart of God.
The fourth chapter of John’s Gospel highlights just one of many remarkable occasions when Christ demonstrated His regard for women and their inherent value:
A woman of Samaria came to draw water. “Give Me a drink,” Jesus said to her. (v. 7)
The arrival of this woman at a local well where Jesus happened to be sitting presented an extreme problem. For starters, traditional ancient Jewish culture didn’t allow for friendl
y exchanges between Samaritans and Jews. In addition, and in an even larger context, first-century men didn’t enter into conversation with women in public, not even their own wives. So for Jesus to be found speaking to this woman was not only culturally inappropriate but would’ve been readily perceived by onlookers as scandalous. More than just a breach of protocol, it was shocking. Disgraceful.
But this is Jesus we’re talking about—a revolutionary who never sought to fit comfortably within societal norms but rather to stand against them, to change them, and to present a new world order both to His generation and every successive generation that followed. So that’s just what He did. He not only engaged her in casual conversation but invited her opinions on theological issues that men of His historical age would never have expected a mere woman to be capable of entertaining. Despite rabbinical condescension and a nearly unanimous cultural disdain for women, Jesus treated her like a person, a person of intelligence, someone who mattered, someone who was as worthy of the Messiah’s “living water” (v. 10) as anyone else. In His mercy and love, He extended to her a gift of which most all others would have deemed her undeserving: His grace, His covering . . . Himself . . . to cleanse her, keep her, and sustain her.
Truly Jesus left no doubt in His dealings with this divinely appointed individual that women are both important and worthy, as well as fully qualified to be entrusted. For not only did He bestow on her the gift of His salvation, but He also entrusted her with His message to share with others. After her encounter with Christ at a community well, she returned home telling everyone what had happened to her, urging them to come see for themselves. The result? “Many Samaritans from that town believed in Him because of what the woman said” (v. 39).
Hearing this truth from God’s Word should cause us to want to take a stand for the biblical role of womanhood in our amoral culture. Because He says we’re . . .
Good.
Necessary.
Important.
Worthy.
Trustworthy.
Being a woman was never a curse to be endured or a trait to be tolerated. It is a gift to be treasured and esteemed. It is God’s chosen way for us to relate to Him as Creator and Father and to demonstrate, along with our male counterparts, the unfolding love story of Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:22–31). It is our special way of experiencing Him and His love for us in a harsh, critical, deconstructive world. And it is our gift to our generation and the world in which we live.
Lo and behold, it’s a privilege to be a girl.
• Choose one of the many roles you currently play in your life, and record for each one how you are . . .
good for it
necessary to it
an important component of it
worthy to be a part of it
trustworthy to fulfill your role in it
• In what situations and around which people do you find the biblical value of womanhood most challenged and questioned?
• How do you raise daughters to be ambitious, educated, and sure of themselves while at the same time help them appreciate the rewards and blessings of submission? How do you raise boys to view women with a similarly high regard? Discuss with friends some creative approaches.
Role Reversal
I’ll be honest. I don’t know much about football. I do enjoy hearing the cheers and chatter of an NFL game in the background on Sunday afternoons while the aroma of dinner is wafting through the house. Brings back memories of my growing-up years. But I’d have to say that I haven’t sat down to watch an entire football game since . . . well, never.
But this much I do know about pro football. Those players are big. Huge, bulking muscles. Incredible speed. They demonstrate more strength and athleticism in one afternoon of work than most of us could work up in a lifetime. And yet as formidable as these guys are, they are not the most powerful people on the field when they suit up and set to playing. I always get a kick out of the other men out there—many of them much smaller, older, and balding, each in their striped black-and-white shirts—standing in the midst of these gargantuans, tossing their yellow flags and blowing their whistles. In most cases these referees are not anywhere near the size of the athletes they’re sharing a playing surface with. And yet at every single one of their commands, directives, or decrees, the game comes to a halt. Burly men who outweigh them by perhaps more than a hundred pounds apiece stop what they’re doing and follow their instructions.
They choose to submit.
Imagine how difficult and unmanageable the game would become if they didn’t.
In resolving to champion the biblical model for womanhood, we must recognize that God’s creation entails not only an inherent feminine esteem but also an established order. Human relationships are not designed to be a raw contest of power and strength but rather a self-controlled acceptance of clearly outlined roles. Therefore, we exert our greatest influence in life by knowing how to harness and safeguard our own strong wills.
Much to many people’s surprise, this isn’t just a married woman’s issue; it’s a universal principle. Yet you rarely find an unmarried woman being asked whom she’s yielding to or a married man being asked to whose authority he is accountable. But we should all be asked these hard questions. Because submission is where everyone finds ultimate freedom. According to Scripture . . .
The employee, whether male or female, must submit to his or her employer (Colossians 3:22).
The citizen, whether male or female, must submit to the governmental authority (1 Peter 2:13).
The believer, whether male or female, must submit to spiritual authority (1 Peter 5:5).
The child, whether male or female, must submit to the parent (Ephesians 6:1).
And, yes, the wife must submit to the leadership of her husband (Ephesians 5:22–23).
By walking within these divinely ordained roles of submission to legitimate authority, we place ourselves inside the protective covering of the Lord, experiencing the freedom that His truth—and His truth alone—is designed to offer. Step outside these roles, and we’re looking for trouble. It’s just that simple.
No doubt, sister, you are powerful and capable in your own right, perhaps even more capable and competent than some of those to whom you’re called to submit. You are gifted and necessary—indispensible—one who bears the image of God Himself. And yet all of that strength coursing through your nature and personality will only thrive and be its best as you yield to the legitimate authority established by God. Like the professional athlete who could easily overpower the referee, or the employee who may honestly be more organized than his boss, or the wife who has a more demonstrative personality than her husband, each must still respect the position the established leader has been allocated, regardless of how inadequately they believe this other person is carrying out the job.
Refusing to stay in our assigned lane, swerving into a driving position we’re not designed to occupy, will always lead to dissatisfaction. In fact, I believe that much of the frustration women experience in their lives—much of the frustration I’ve experienced in mine—is directly linked to our refusal to yield to God’s design for womanhood.
Order matters—whether we understand it or agree with it or even want it. Nothing can truly and ultimately be enjoyed when we’re not willing to remain within our roles and boundaries.
That’s just the way it is.
But believe it or not, that’s a good thing.
Throughout the first wave of the feminist movement, which began during the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, as well the second major wave in the 1960s, the basis for each initiative was a clamoring for rights. And while some of these rights have been worth defending, such movements have primarily been crusades to position women not only on equal footing with men but above men—in some cases above God Himself. Yet in these various quests for recognition, each movement has failed to recognize the most powerful right of all women: the right to yield to appropriate authority w
illingly and with dignity. A woman’s strength—the true strength of any person, for that matter—is best seen not in the authority of God-given leadership.
Even the most powerful Man ever to walk the earth demonstrated the importance of this principle:
Though he was God, [Jesus] did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. (Philippians 2:6–8 NLT)
If One so great could display this level of humility in order to achieve a much, much greater result, then what excuse do we have for not choosing to do the same—to forgo our supposed rights in order to acquiesce to God’s designated plan for humanity? To trust His wisdom and insight? To bring Him the most glory, whether we get our way or not?
Yet a role reversal has been perpetuating in our culture. And its effects have been staggering. Women have usurped the authority of men; men have passively neglected their roles as leaders. The result has been broken families, unstable homes, unhealthy dynamics, and derailed legacies. Marriages have cratered. Living rooms have become war zones. Iron wills have clashed and sparked and fractured personalities, melting everyone within sight.
God’s answer, however, has not moved from its original position merely because of the chaos that has arisen from our stubborn defiance of His structure. Only by surrendering to His design for womanhood will we as women experience the liberation we are trying so desperately to recover elsewhere.
The Resolution for Women Page 4
