You are a holy vessel of God, set aside for specific times when the uniqueness you offer can be fully used and valued—“a special instrument, set apart, useful to the Master” (2 Timothy 2:21). He has blessed you in Christ “with every spiritual blessing in the heavens” (Ephesians 1:3), freeing you to engage fully in the life He has called you to lead, in ways He is faithful to reveal to you as you walk closely with Him.
A young writer recently e-mailed me, expressing concern because she didn’t think her style of writing had enough depth and intrigue. She mentioned several other authors she admired, people she wished her writing was more comparable to. “If it were,” she said, “I might finish this Bible study project.” As I read her sentiments, I thought about how I frequently feel that same way—wishing I had more depth or creativity like I’ve admired in someone else. And yet others have had to remind me of the same thing that I wrote back to this young lady: some readers will only hear, understand, and accept certain things when they read it in your words, from your perspective, written in your voice. We were each created by God to do our part. And if we fail to do it because we don’t think it’s valuable enough, great loss will be suffered. Someone, somewhere, needs you—in all of your uniqueness—to step up to the plate of your calling.
So come take your place. Embrace your special role. Enjoy the thrill of capitalizing on your strengths without wallowing in misery over your lacks and differences or allowing yourself to feel threatened by those traits you should be celebrating in those you admire. You are not a mistake, no mere outcome of happenstance. Your creation was supernaturally superintended by Almighty God. You are extraordinarily significant.
Rather than seeking to impress and outperform others, and rather than feeling ashamed by what you don’t have and can’t do, relish the opportunity to stand as a living, walking, eating, breathing example of what God’s grace can do with a woman He has set apart, weaknesses and all, to be a sacred vessel in His service. You are a purposeful place setting. A masterpiece worth celebrating.
Nothing commonplace about that.
3. He has appointed you. Being chosen and set apart is quite an honor, but make no mistake—it comes with great responsibility. Among the reasons God chose you (or as another Bible translation says it, “planted you”), one was to put you in a position to yield specific outcomes in your personal life situation. Jesus finished the thought like this: “You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit” (John 15:16).
Therefore, you can trust that He has planted you right now in the place where you will be the most personally productive. Even if you may not be inherently pleased with the person He’s made you to be, even if you may not be abundantly happy with the circumstances you’re currently living, you can be sure that God has planted you here with design and intention. He has selected the “soil” where you’re presently growing. Every kind of season and weather you experience has had to pass through His fingers before coming into contact with you. It’s all been divinely designed to surround you with the conditions that allow your unique gifts and abilities to reach maximum potential. To grow. To yield. To produce.
And like any farmer, He expects to reap what He’s sown. Apple seeds are supposed to grow apple trees. Radish seeds are supposed to grow radishes. Likewise, your seeds are designed to produce a crop that’s uniquely yours. So there’s no point in trying to produce fruit that is someone else’s to grow. Your job at any given moment is to bring all your gifts, all your talents, all your propensities, and all your passions into this thing called life and believe that they are good enough to produce the fruit that is expected of you.
Trust Him. He knows you. He has special plans for you.
I don’t know all the things you’re struggling with at this moment as you strive to attain a healthier self-image. But I know that the only way to experience it is to fall back into the genuine, authentic reality of your value in God’s eyes—the One who chose you, set you apart, and appointed you to bear fruit. He has loved you enough to make you like no other, and He’s given you a task that is yours alone to complete with His abundant help and empowerment.
Resolve to love being you, the way He loved creating you.
• Choose at least one of the following verses to study and memorize:
Ephesians 2:10—a declaration of your importance to God
Jeremiah 1:5—a confirmation of your selection by God
2 Corinthians 3:5—a verification of your sufficiency in God
• Consider the things you may have failed to do because you felt ill equipped or unworthy to participate. Choose one of them to begin doing this week.
Happy to Be You
. . . the authentic you.
It’s an elusive actuality that few get the opportunity to experience. Many of us spend so much of our lives wishing or pretending we were somebody different from who we are, we never get to experience the sheer freedom of just being ourselves. In some cases we’ve spent so many years and put so much effort into steering clear of our own uniqueness, we wouldn’t know our true self if we bumped into her face-to-face.
But rediscovering and celebrating the you that God originally created is paramount for any woman who desires to live out her primary purpose.
You are the only you the world has. The only one we really need. The one who, according to Psalm 139, has been . . .
examined by God.
known by Him.
seen by Him.
protected by Him.
followed by Him.
blessed by Him.
guided by Him.
strengthened by Him.
supported by Him.
carefully created by Him.
led by Him.
Have you ever really tried getting acquainted with this person who was important enough to God Himself to put this much time and attention into creating and supporting? When you strip away the façades and remove the veneers, when you take off any masks and remove any pretense or disguise, what’s left is the authentic person who is precious in the sight of God Himself—fully capable and distinctively designed to achieve His purposes for her life.
You. Just the way you were meant to be.
So take time to uncover and reconnect with these things that truly describe you: your gifts, talents, passions, eccentricities, dislikes, weaknesses, interests, and uniquenesses—in their rawest, most unspoiled form. Don’t rush through this. Peeling back the stereotypes and labels, the misinterpretations and stigmas you’ve used (both knowingly and unknowingly) to define yourself will probably require some time and effort on your part. And choosing to move forward in authenticity will require even more. In fact, you might even need to enlist the help of a few close friends to assist you.
First, ask them to point out, from their own perspective, what makes you unique. It’s often more difficult to see yourself as clearly as another person can who’s close to you. Beauty tends to become familiar. Genius eventually feels commonplace. You get used to yourself. You overlook the astounding, remarkable aspects that make you uniquely special because you’ve grown so accustomed to having them. Your rarity becomes unremarkable when it’s just another part of your regular routine.
So open yourself to hearing someone remind you what they see in you. Write these things down. Internalize them. Accept them. Your gifts and skills. Your personality and temperament. The things that make you noticeably, singularly you. Your strengths and, yes, your weaknesses.
Second, pinpoint what ways (if any) that you have neglected to use or celebrate these characteristics and become intentional about honoring your uniqueness in the future. Think what a wonderful gift this return to authenticity could be to you over the years, even over the next few weeks. Being able to live in genuine freedom, unburdened from the harried exhaustion of making impressions or trying to act like somebody you’re not. No longer overcompensating for things that have kept you feeling like you don’t measure up. Aligning yourself wit
h God’s will instead of constantly fighting His plans and always working at cross-purposes.
Accepting yourself.
Treasuring the value He’s encased within you.
It’s a resolution worth making.
• Record uniquenesses another people sees in you. Which of these surprise you?
• Record how you can be more intentional about using and celebrating these characteristics.
• How would the dynamics of your family, your office, or your relationships benefit from your doing this?
The Affirmation Crusade
My husband is fascinated, intrigued, yet still somewhat bemused by the fairer sex. He’s discovered a plethora of feminine dynamics in the years we’ve been married that he admits he’ll never fully understand. Like, for instance, why a weekend trip requires packing more than one pair of shoes. Or why the mere act of talking could ever be such an enjoyable hobby. He’s asked me lots of questions over our twelve years together, hoping to figure out some of these things. And yet even after my fine attempts at explanation, he tends to just smile, pat me lovingly on the cheek, and then walk out the door shaking his head in disbelief.
I guess a man will just never understand some things that are crystal clear to a woman.
Perhaps none more than this: the compliments one woman is allowed to give another.
He heard me telling a girlfriend not long ago that the skirt she was wearing really accentuated her pretty legs. He heard me tell another that her hair was “just lovely” in that color and style. He’s seen other women come up to me, expressing gratitude for a particular personality trait or just to tell me that the blouse I was wearing was really cute.
And for the life of him, he doesn’t see how this works. Men just don’t do this, he tells me. Never, for example, will I ever catch him praising another guy’s hair, or telling a friend how that button-up really brings out the broadness in his shoulders. In fact, he’s made clear to me that if I ever overhear another guy complimenting him on some of the things women get away with, I need to make sure that guy isn’t around too much.
“That’s just not something we do,” he says.
But it is something we do, my sister friend. Something we ought to do a lot more often.
We are relational in a way most men are not. We thrive on our friendships with women and appreciate the commendation we receive from them. There’s something about another woman’s admiration that we can accept more fully because, for the most part, we’re certain no strings are attached. No ulterior motives are underneath it. Just an honest, encouraging assertion expressed by another.
And while our self-worth should never depend on others’ compliments or approval, we experience a certain depth of blessing when we are affirmed by other women. While appreciation from men is flattering, a sister’s compliment carries a purity, simplicity, and gentle strength that refreshes us. It helps us feel reassured, supported, and warmly comfortable. Plus it does something else, something powerful; it diffuses any need for competition.
When you take seriously this resolution—this decision truly to accept yourself and your uniqueness—you’ll finally be comfortable offering the same favor of acceptance to those around you. You’ll be free of the time-consuming frustration of seeking to fit others into your own personal set of expectations. You’ll allow them to be themselves. And as an added bonus, you’ll be better able to enjoy celebrating and commending their exceptionality—the things they can do much better than you—because you’ll be so completely comfortable with yourself and your own distinct capabilities.
This resolution not only affects you. It will also enhance the women around you as they experience the affirmation that bubbles up from the security you’re living in. This should be our mandate, our campaign. A movement of women linked by our resolution and devoted to seeing it manifested in the lives of the women around us.
It can be our crusade.
Our affirmation crusade.
Our gift, one sister to another.
• Take time to look back over your notes from this section. Consider what will be required for you to live authentically, as well as the freedom you’ll experience when you do. Additionally, think of some other women who, for whatever reason, you are hesitant to compliment. Make a point to commend them for their unique value and worth to you this week. Read the resolution out loud and sign your name below it.
AUTHENTICALLY ME
I will accept and celebrate my uniqueness, and will esteem and encourage the distinctions I admire in others.
__________
FAITHFULLY HIS
A resolution to be devoted to Christ and defined by His Word
Divine Appointments
My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.” (Psalm 27:8 NLT)
The Susan B. Anthony dollar was minted in 1979 by the United States government and again in 1999. It was the first circulated coin to bear the image of a woman. Its goal was to celebrate the advances of women and the impact our gender has made on the country as a whole.
Only one problem. This silver coin, smaller than the traditional dollar coin, looked much like a quarter, which often caused people to confuse the two. Though the value of the coins was significantly different, their appearance was remarkably similar. Therefore, the Susan B. Anthony dollar just didn’t catch on with the public, so circulation was eventually discontinued.
You, sister, have been “minted” in the likeness of God and have been called “out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9). Christ has placed great worth and value on you as His daughter, fellow heir to a divine “inheritance among the saints” (Ephesians 1:18). You have been invested with gifts, talents, and uniqueness that God Himself deemed you suitable to carry. You are . . .
Surprisingly satisfied.
Purposefully feminine.
Authentically you.
But that’s not all. You also have the opportunity to be . . .
Faithfully His.
Clearly, the investment of this much godly treasure into one person’s life carries with it a responsibility you and I should consider a privilege to respond to. He deserves our resolve to faithfully and consistently live up to the value we’ve been given, to portray outwardly to the world the inherent worth we possess inwardly by God’s sacrificial yet freely given grace. We ought never to be lost among the shuffle of worldliness—whole dollars confused among a handful of quarters—driven by lowly pursuits and interests, becoming so similar in appearance to everyone else that we can’t be singled out in a crowd. Rather, our goal should be to take responsibility for our actions, lining them up singularly with our God and His Word, diving deep into the divine purposes for which we have been placed on earth.
This is the resolution of the woman who is faithfully His.
We are women who lean into His voice—listening, heeding, conforming our will to His.
We are women who uphold the laurels of Scripture in the face of contrary opinions.
We are women who do not ultimately answer to earthly authorities but to the One who created us, loved us, and called us to Himself.
We are women who live with heaven’s purpose in view and heaven’s whisper in our souls.
We are in the world, but we are not of the world—not controlled by it, consumed by it, compelled by it.
We are heaven called, pursuing His purposes and driven by the passions He has placed within our hearts.
This is what makes us different. Unique. In the face of a culture infested with sin and with enmity against God, we will be faithful to Him and the laurels of His Word. The author of Hebrews noted an unexpected example of this kind of faithfulness:
Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess. He was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses was faithful in all God’s house. (Hebrews 3:1–2 NIV)
Excuse me? Moses? Faithful?
Really?
That’s sure not the way it seems when you take a quick glance at his early years—and by “early,” I mean eighty or more. Raised as the prince of Egypt, he was forced to run for his life after brutally murdering one of his countrymen. Throughout the next forty years, he lived in much less than desirable circumstances, tending sheep—a job well below his pay grade and educational level. God startled him one day by speaking to him from a burning bush, commissioning him to a far more prestigious position: leading Israel out of bondage. But when called to the job, Moses spouted nothing but excuses as to why he couldn’t fulfill the role. When he finally did comply and accept God’s directive—after some mighty patient arm-twisting on the Almighty’s part—he was often known to lose his own patience with the fickleness of the Israelite people and allow his anger to get the best of him. In the end Moses’ disobedience to the Lord’s instruction would cost him final entrance into God’s chosen land for His people.
So . . .
If I’d been the author of the book of Hebrews, I’m not sure Moses would’ve been my first choice for an illustration. And yet this writer singled him out, describing him as “faithful in all God’s house.”
If Moses had been alive to read this verse, I wonder what his reaction might have been. He possibly would have recalled all the debacles and errors he’d made along the road of life, shaking his head in embarrassed disbelief, wondering if this author was lucid when he’d penned that text. Maybe a good case for what unfaithfulness looks like but—recalling how he’d lived—certainly not faithfulness. Come on.
The Resolution for Women Page 6
