Sometimes Liam forgot that she’d just been doing her job. Sometimes he wondered when she was coming home, for real. For good.
He looked up at the treehouse’s high platform, and as if he’d conjured her, there she was. No one else, no cameras around her. She must have fobbed them off, and he was sure they were filming from the bottom of the stairs. But no one was with her as she raised her hand to her lips. Then she held her hand out, and blew.
She blew a kiss to him.
And, goddammit, it hit him like a cannonball.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. He jumped off the swing, and headed for his car. He’d send a text to Aidan to bring Timbo home when they were done.
He didn’t have to put up with this.
Actually, he couldn’t.
It was enough that his heart was broken, but for her to witness the damage was unthinkable.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Felicia watched him drive away without surprise. She didn’t know why she’d blown the kiss. It had probably seemed as if she were rubbing salt in his wound. As if she’d been out to get him this way the whole time.
Nothing was further from the truth. It had been a real kiss. A true one.
But she’d lost the chance to tell him anything true at all.
From below, came Timbo’s voice calling up to her. “Do you like it?”
She climbed down the steps.
Timbo was jumping up and down on the newly refinished hardwood floors. “So, what? Are you surprised? Do you love it all?” One of the cameras was trained on him, but he didn’t seem to notice at all. “Is it what you wanted? Did we do a good job?”
The answers to those questions were simple. Yes, she loved it, and yes, she was surprised at how much work Aidan and Jack had done while she was working her last thirty days finishing up her job in LA. The rusted cast-iron clawfoot tub had been replaced with a solid spa tub in gorgeous shape, so sturdy it would outlive them all. They’d redone the parlor exactly as she’d wanted—still full of companionable furniture and a few new, more modern pieces, it also featured the stag-hunting rug, which had been cleaned and fixed and was even more impressive.
And the green sofa.
That damned green sofa.
“I love every single thing about it.”
Timbo beamed, and Aidan nodded as if he wasn’t surprised. Jake shot her a smile, and then went back to flirting quietly with the new girl in Production. Felicia hadn’t caught her name, and now, she supposed, she’d never have to know it.
“Where did Liam go?”
Aidan glanced sideways at her. “Probably to pull more comps, now that your house has brought them up. Never stops working. And I know he’s already hunting for a showstopper like this one. Wants to make the network happy, and keep the bucks rolling in.”
Anna arranged them all on the front steps, and one of the cameras pulled back far enough to get the whole redwood in the shot. She was doing her job well, taking every extra little step that would be noticed by Natasha, in the hopes she’d get Felicia’s job. She probably would. And she’d be good at it, maybe better than Felicia had been. It didn’t hurt to think about.
Anna scowled and looked at her iPad. “Liam should be here. Didn’t we get that in his contract, that he has to follow through?”
“Don’t worry.” Felicia knew that Liam’s not being in this shot would read as mysterious. “You can make me the bad guy, blame me for quitting my job and pissing him off. Make me the villain. It’ll just make him look better to the rest of the world.”
Anna shot her a look of gratefulness. “I have no idea what we’re going to do without you.”
“You won’t even notice I’m gone.” Felicia knew it was true—in two weeks, they’d all remember Felicia as a hard worker, and that was about it. Everyone was replaceable. “You know, if you put me on the bottom step, the light will fall better on Aidan and Jake.” This was her last moment, but it was really the beginning for them.
In the signature phrase decided on by Natasha and two of her creatives, Felicia had to deliver the last lines of the show. “I had a great time dating Liam Ballard, but he and his brothers are still on the market.” She patted the railing. “But not this house. It’s off the market, and it’s all mine.”
All hers.
Once she sold it, what would she have left? The condo in LA that was never home? She had no interest in going back there. Under her fingertips, the wood felt solid. Strong. The way she wanted to feel someday.
Anna and the crew got some final shots before wrapping set. Aidan and Jake collected their tools and Timbo poked at gopher holes near the oak tree.
And Felicia wondered what would happen if she didn’t sell.
If she put down roots here, how would she grow? Could she, so close to Liam?
She remembered the key on the silver chain. Now that she wasn’t on camera, she could take a moment to inspect it, to prove her hunch had been wrong.
But when she held it in the light and tilted it, there it was. In tiny letters was stamped HOME.
The ache behind her eyes grew sharper, and her vision blurred with tears that rose hot and insistent. This was her key. No wonder she thought she’d lost it forever. He’d taken it and had it recut to fit the door of her dreams. No one had ever given her a sweeter gift.
Soon she’d be able to go inside—into her own home, not the Cat’s Claw—and climb up to the treehouse and cry for as long as she had tears in her body, which might end up being forever. But right now, she needed to do something else.
“Anna?”
Anna was breaking down a jib arm. “Yeah?”
“Have you packed up the diary cam yet? I need one more take.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
The last time Liam had been inside the Golden Spike, he’d gotten so drunk he’d met a network executive and pitched her a television show which turned out to be one of his least good ideas, ever.
This time, he wasn’t going to have as much vodka, that was for sure. No matter what his brothers tried to say about it.
Norma was in her regular spot at the bar near the door. She was laying out tarot cards and trying to talk two tourists into paying her for a reading. “Come on, don’t you want to know when you’ll meet the man of your dreams?” Her necklaces jangled and her eyes crossed slightly as she tapped the back of the deck. The women were already reaching for their wallets.
Nate Houston and Adele Darling were tending bar, and Adele’s sister Molly was dancing with the sheriff to an old country tune playing on the jukebox. Four old men played poker in the corner, pretending they weren’t playing with cash, hiding the singles badly under coasters every time the sheriff glanced their way.
It could have been any other night in the Golden Spike, but Adele had promised this one would be special.
And by special she must have meant especially awful. “We have to celebrate the first episode! Everyone will be there, and you have to be, too.”
He’d begged off, citing Timbo as the reason he wouldn’t be able to attend. Adele might want a viewing party, but she wasn’t going to let a minor into her bar, not even for a special occasion. But then she’d gone and hired a damn babysitter and opened up the apartment over the bar. “We’ll do a MythBusters marathon, and I’ll provide all the pizza and ice cream they can scarf up. Anybody who wants to drop their kids up there, can. We’ll drink downstairs and laugh at you Ballard boys. God knows the Darling Songbirds have gotten enough attention in this town.” Adele threw a wink at her sister Molly. “It’s time we let you guys have some of it. Channel 2 said they’d be here to get your reaction.”
Fantastic. More on-camera time.
The problem was, the check had come. Not only had it been bigger than they’d planned, but it hadn’t bounced. They were so close to opening Ballard Youth that they could almost taste it. They still needed a building, but the funds were there. In place. The town’s goodwill would go a long way to getting the zoning when they needed it. Showing up
at a town party in honor of him and his brothers was the least he could do.
Even though the thought of seeing Felicia on a big screen kind of made him want to hurl.
Felicia.
It’d been five weeks since he’d seen her at the house, since she’d blown him that terrible, beautiful kiss. Every day he scanned the MLS, and every day her house wasn’t listed. Timbo said he thought he’d seen her at Martha’s Market, but he also thought he’d seen Van Damme surfing, so he wasn’t the most reliable eyewitness.
Liam hadn’t known it was possible to miss someone as much as he missed Felicia. He definitely had never missed Brandy this way.
Talking to Felicia had felt like finally being understood in his native tongue, as if he’d been struggling with a language, and then he’d been allowed to relax. Being with her had felt like being in the home he’d always wanted. It had nothing to do with wood or brick or plaster—it had to do with her. Who she was.
Felicia had texted him at least five times. Call me. Please just call me back.
She’d emailed him. We need to talk. Please.
She’d even come by the office once. Timbo said she’d left in a hurry when he told her Liam wasn’t home.
She’d only called him one time, and the sight of her name on the screen of his cell had made his hand shake. He had just decided to answer—what the hell?—when it had stopped ringing.
Since then, she hadn’t tried to contact him at all.
Just as well.
She’d screwed up. He’d told his deepest secret to someone who had the power to share it with the whole world, the power to hurt his brothers. And she’d promised to protect that secret.
That was the other reason he was here tonight. If his brothers heard the truth about their parents from a goddamn television show, then at least Liam would be in the room to smash his fist through the bar’s brand-new big-screen TV. Then the sheriff could haul him out, but at least he’d be there to apologize to his brothers, to beg one of them to watch Timbo until he got home. On second thought, social services probably wouldn’t think much of a new adoptive father committing vandalism, the crime he was supposed to be keeping Timbo from repeating. Shit.
His brothers arrived at the bar, Aidan covered in sawdust and scowling, Jake smiling like he’d just slept all day in the sun, which he probably had. Good-natured ribbing followed, and Liam put on the smile he’d have to keep plastered on until the end of the night. No matter what. More townsfolk arrived, and laughter rose through the room.
The show started, and Adele turned up the TV’s volume. When the first shot of the three brothers filled the screen, the entire bar cheered loud enough to wake old Hugh Darling who was sleeping in the cemetery up the road.
Then Felicia came on screen. She ducked through the small round door into the kitchen, Liam on her heels. God, look at his face. He’d been so into her, even then. He hadn’t even known. Maybe he should feel embarrassed, but he didn’t, not really. He just wanted to keep watching her.
He realized the bar had quieted. When he looked around, all eyes were on him. “What?” he said loudly. “You think just because we didn’t end up together I regret doing this? Marcie Deakin was the top realtor in this area until tonight, but I bet I outsell her this next year.” Marcie protested loudly and the bar’s patrons relaxed into laughter.
Liam settled onto the barstool that had been saved for him and took a long sip of his beer. This would be agony, surgery without anesthesia, and then it would be over, and he could restart his life. Somehow. For a moment he tried to imagine Darling Bay with her in it. Felicia Turbinado, a local. He imagined waving to her as he passed.
No.
He and Timbo would just have to move, that was all. And his brothers. And the whole town, if it came to that. They’d uproot everything but the Maupin house (the Turbinado house now) and start over, two hundred miles north, where the land was more rugged and the wind colder but at least Felicia wouldn’t be nearby.
Speaking of her, the whole bar watched Felicia explore the house. They watched her expression as she took the steps up to the platform above. She’d done a good job pretending it was her first time inside, her first time climbing the ladder. But then again, she really had been that excited every time.
The network had sent Liam an early digital copy of the show. He hadn’t been able to watch it—he hadn’t wanted to know ahead of time just how bad it was going to be. But now he was glad. If he wanted to—and he would—he could watch and re-watch just that section. Her climbing the ladder, her laughter filtering down to him.
Aidan nudged his elbow. “You ever going to tell us what happened?”
Liam shushed him. A diary cam part was starting. This would be when everything fell apart.
Above their heads, the big-screen Liam spoke. “I guess you would say my last relationship was heartbreaking. And it was. My heart broke when she didn’t show up for the wedding rehearsal. But then I got over it.”
The camera cut to Jake, who was sawing a piece of wood. “Nah, my brother’s tough. When my parents took off, it was him who took care of us. Bill Ballard was a good man, and we’re proud to have his name. But my big brother did more than anyone else to make sure we were raised right.” On screen, Jake scratched his nose. “When’s my turn, anyway? Will I get to pick the girl?”
Bar patrons laughed. Someone clapped Liam on the back. Jake clinked shots with someone, and Aidan whooped.
Liam stared up at the screen, unable to believe it. During the commercial break, people tried to chat with him. He ignored them. He kept his eyes on the screen, ready for the moment he saw himself admit on national television he was unlovable, prepped for the moment Felicia broke the news that their parents had only wanted one or two of the boys—and that no one had wanted Liam.
Then it was almost over. On screen, they showed the kiss that came right before their jump from the pier. His buttocks gleamed white, but they’d tastefully blurred Felicia’s nethers.
A quick shot of them swimming to shore. Another shot of them in candlelight, laughing.
Then Liam watched a pale version of himself handing Felicia a key. Her face went so bright it hurt to look at her.
They’d caught the kiss she threw him from the top of the tree house.
They’d caught his expression, too. The one that said he was brokenhearted.
In the bar, Liam felt his face go red. He’d never felt so exposed. Jake leaned against his shoulder for a moment, silently propping him up.
The theme music swelled.
Felicia came back on screen, but she looked different. She’d already done a couple of diary cams, innocuous things about what her dream kitchen might look like, and how she worked too much to really date at home in LA. This was different. Her nose was red, and her eyes glistened. Her expression was dead serious, not a glint of humor dancing across her face.
“I’m pretty sure a lot of people will ask me how I let someone like Liam go. The answer to that is we let each other go. He saw me for me, and it’s been forever since someone did that.” She tried to smile, but it wobbled. “I saw him as the man he is, gentle, generous, incredibly hot—”
The bar patrons whooped.
“—kind, and caring. I fell in love with him. Completely.”
Now the room was silent. Liam couldn’t look around, didn’t want to see the looks of pity.
“I told him a secret once, and he took care of it so perfectly. He made me brave enough to share it here, now. The truth is, I was scared of everything real, of everything that could make me feel anything at all. TV was all I knew, both in my personal and professional life. Liam is the most real person I’ve ever known. And he made me feel everything.” She gave a half laugh. “You should see him with his son.” The laugh twisted into a sigh. “Liam lives in what some would call a fantasy, in a beach-side town full of wonderful people. Viewers will see us kiss. That was real. They’ll see us jump from the pier. That was real, too—I wanted to do something crazy and bi
g and frightening, and I wanted to do it with him.”
The bar was silent.
Felicia looked straight into the camera. “Liam, I apologize for hurting you. I should have just stayed where I was, on the other side of the camera.” Her hand went to her neck and touched the silver chain.
Liam knew that if he looked around every pair of eyeballs would be trained on him, not on the screen.
So he kept his own gaze up. It was good of her to apologize. To keep the part where he admitted he felt unlovable off the air was good of her. And for the network not to hurt his brothers with announcing what shits their parents were was pretty damn decent.
God.
Maybe it hadn’t actually been that big a deal.
Felicia had kept his fear of abandonment and his family troubles off air. And she’d gone one step further—airing her own deepest secret for the whole nation to hear. It was a message to him, for him, that said she had taken care of his trust. She hadn’t betrayed him.
Shit.
Big-screen Felicia fiddled with the collar of her black shirt. “But Liam, I wish you would have answered my calls. Even once.”
He felt his brothers turn to face him, but he didn’t take his eyes off the screen.
“I’m in love with you. But you abandoned me.”
He lost his breath. Each word was a strike, a blow.
“Maybe we could have worked it out. Now we’ll never know.” She shrugged, tears shining in her eyes. “You shouldn’t have left me like that.”
She didn’t say it. She didn’t tell the whole nation that he was the one terrified of being left behind.
It was a message just for him.
He’d become the person he’d never wanted to be.
Holy shit.
Liam left the bar at a run.
On the Market (The Ballard Brothers of Darling Bay Book 1) Page 17
