by E. S. Carter
He pushes up and away from my body, tugs off his underwear causing his cock to bounce and slap against his lower belly, and then he’s on me.
Hard, hot and heavy.
I open my legs wantonly to accommodate him, completely unashamed of my need for this man.
“I want you,” I whisper against his neck between licks and nibbles.
“Then you can have me,” he replies. “All of me.”
He sinks into me in one long, smooth, slide and I cry out in desire filled relief.
“I’m yours, Josh,” I moan into his neck, half aware of my words, half delirious with my impending orgasm.
He doesn’t answer, but his thrusts increase in pace and intensity until first I cry out, and then he follows me over, claiming me from the inside out, marking me with his seed.
It’s only as I’m drifting off in his arms during my promised snuggle, that I swear I hear him say, “And I’m keeping you.”
I hadn’t planned to have sex with her the first night she stayed, but I certainly planned on doing it a hell of a lot more. So, when I don’t see Halle for a few days due to her work commitments, I begin to feel like a whiney and needy teenage girl.
Are you avoiding me?
As soon as I’ve hit send on the text, I internally berate myself. If any of my brothers knew how pathetic I was behaving, I’d never hear the end of it.
An hour later, she still hasn’t responded, and with Ivy nagging to go in the pool, and Arty fussing because he’s cutting more teeth, I feel more on edge than I have for months.
Is it possible that after using her that first time, she’s turned the tables and repaid the favour?
No. I refuse to believe that. She poured her heart out to me, and I think her past isn’t something she shares with others, so why would she lay her demons before me, if all she wanted to do was get her own back.
Besides, Halle isn’t calculating or malicious. There’s something else going on here.
“Daddy, it is pool time yet?”
I palm my phone, wanting to call Nate and ask for Rachel’s number to check on Halle, but, instead, I slip it back into my pocket and face the little girl before me.
“Yes, Princess Ivy. I’d say it’s definitely time to go in the pool. Can you go and grab your swimmers and I’ll get your brother ready?”
“Don’t let him poo in the pool again,” she orders before skipping off to grab her swimsuit and armbands.
Once, I didn’t put a swim nappy on him once, and she hasn’t let me forget it.
“C’mon, little man. Let’s get you all cleaned, and your bottom wrapped up before your big sister has my guts for garters,” I say to the dribbling little boy who currently has his entire fist in his mouth. His cheeks are rosy with teething, his temper borderline psychopathic. Yep, I went there. He laughs at me one minute, cries at me the next and then screams like he’s possessed. Then again, toothache is a bitch, so I have nothing but sympathy for my little boy and the four teeth he’s cutting all at once.
I’m just pulling up Arty’s swim nappy and trunks when the doorbell rings and Ivy shouts, “There’s somebody at the door.” Like I didn’t hear the same bell she did.
With Arthur on my hip and Ivy at my side, eager to see who is at the door, I unlatch the lock and pull it wide to be confronted with a giant, blow up broccoli, complete with a smiley face and a bow tie.
“What’s the difference between broccoli and snot?” The comedy broccoli asks in a high, squeaky voice that sounds suspiciously like Halle.
Ivy looks at me, then back to our visitor, and says to the broccoli with a straight face - like a giant vegetable knocks on our door every day - “I dunno, you tell us.”
The broccoli wiggles a little and squeaks, “Kids’ll eat snot but won’t eat broccoli.”
I snort out a laugh, but Ivy scrunches her brow, looks at me briefly in annoyance and then responds. “You’re silly and not in a good way. Girls don’t eat snot, monsters do.”
Stumped, Halle wiggles her giant broccoli a little more and then confesses, “That’s the only line I’ve got. Can I put the broccoli down now?”
“Halle, is that you?” Ivy asks, her voice filled with confusion and a little bit of wonder, like the broccoli produced Halle out of thin air just for her.
Halle pops her head around the side of the blow-up veg and says, “Hello, Princess Ivy. Yes, it’s me. I was just coming over to see your daddy.”
“And me,” Ivy corrects.
“And you,” Halle amends, her smile wide, her eyes finding mine.
“Can I come in?” she asks sweetly. “I’ll leave the broccoli outside, I promise.”
“Can you swim?” Ivy asks her before I can respond.
“I can.”
“Do you have your swimmers with you?”
“I don’t.” She shakes her head sadly.
“That’s okay. I have spares. You can borrow one of mine.” My little girl declares before happily skipping away to fetch them.
That leaves the three of us on the doorstep.
Arty is still chewing his fist oblivious to everything going on, while I am transfixed by the woman stood before me, shyly biting on her lip and waiting for me to invite her in.
“I’ve been trying to contact you for days.”
Nice opening line, Josh.
“I know, I’ve been avoiding you.”
“Why?”
“Can I come in?”
Flustered by her forthrightness, I’ve kept her on the doorstep, when all I want to do is take her inside and make sure she never leaves.
“Of course, sorry… I, uh-”
Halle stands up the broccoli, so it rests against the front wall of the villa, and steps inside, placing a lingering kiss on my cheek and halting my rambling in its tracks.
“No, I’m sorry,” she begins. “I let my insecurities get the better of me, but I’m here now, and I’m hoping there’s still an opening for a broccoli or a friend or a…”
“Here it is,” Ivy calls as she rushes towards us. “I’ve got you the mermaid swimsuit because it’s green and I know how much you like green.”
“I love green,” Halle replies, taking the tiny pair of bathers from Ivy’s hand, but keeping her gaze on me.
“Come on, Daddy. Let Halle get changed and we can all go in the pool together. It’s more fun when there’re four of us.”
“You’re right, Princess Ivy,” I reply never breaking eye-contact with Halle. “I love it when it’s the four of us too.”
Ivy tugs Halle towards the bathroom to get changed, and while laughing at her exuberance, Halle calls over her shoulder to me, “You have some shorts or a tee I can wear, right? I’m not sure skinny dipping is appropriate in this circumstance.”
“Can we discuss what circumstance would be acceptable in the future?”
She winks at me before she’s tugged forcefully into the room out of my sight, and calls, “When you say words, like ‘future’, I think I want to say yes to anything you ask.”
I swear my face might split from the smile on my face.
With Arthur on my hip, I make my way to my bedroom to grab something suitable for the woman that has turned my previously pained world upside down.
She may have needed a few days to get her head around everything that’s happened between us, but she’s here now, and if anyone believes in giving second-chances, it’s me.
As I’m tugging clothes from my dresser, looking for a pair of boxers that won’t be too big for Halle’s slender hips, I think about the last year or so of my life.
I kissed the love of my life goodbye and just eight hours later, I lost her.
I left my life behind, and just eight hours later Halle walked into my world.
Life is a series of moments; some that bring joy and some that bring immeasurable grief.
Living is when you learn to accept those moments, and when you choose to love and not hate or when you choose family over being alone.
Where there is d
eath, there will always be life.
Where there is love, there will always be family, be that by blood or by choice.
And where there is an end, you will find another beginning.
It’s the circle of life.
An imperfect infinity.
A sideways figure eight.
Laura Smiles.
Eight months later
“Mum, have you seen the flowers that Ivy got for Halle?”
“They are in a jug by the sink, darling.”
I rush into the small kitchen of our new place – a three-bedroom villa tucked into a quiet street on the outskirts of Santa Gertrudis.
Having decided that I wanted to stay on the island, we chose to come inland because of the international schools that are perfect for Ivy and Arty, and ideal for me to go back to work.
I miss teaching, and as soon as Arthur is old enough for pre-school, I’ll hopefully get a position working with primary aged children again, or older. I’m not choosy. I just want to go back to a job I love.
The bouquet of daisies is exactly where my mother said it would be, so I carefully take them out of the water and wrap the stems in the colourful crepe paper (green) that Ivy insisted on buying.
Today we are going to ask Halle to move in with us.
The kids adore her, and I adore her.
We haven’t said the big scary L word yet, but not because we both don’t feel it, I know we do. We’re just finding our way, taking one day at a time and not trying to rush the other into something they may or may not be ready for, but I’m over that.
I miss her on the nights she stays in San Antonio, and so do the kids.
She helped me pick out this place, and I hope that means she’ll be happy to make it her home because, for us, she is our home.
“Daddy, we’re ready,” Ivy exclaims as she comes barrelling through the door in her new Tinkerbell outfit that Halle bought her (green) or as Ivy calls it, ‘Ivybell’.
“You look so pretty, Princess Ivy.”
“No, Daddy,” she corrects while rolling her eyes and placing her hand on her hip. “When I wear this you must call me Ivybell. I’ve told you a hundred times.”
“Well, Ivybell,” I concede. “Why don’t you go and kiss Nanna goodbye and we can pick Halle up from Uncle Nate’s.”
Oh, I forgot to say. Today is also the day that Halle signed a deal with my brother, Jake, to write the songs for the soundtrack of his upcoming movie. So, it’s kind of a double celebration.
A few moments later, my mother enters the kitchen with Ivy and Arty in tow.
“Both little ones are ready and very excited. You know what you’re going to say, don’t you Ivy, I mean Ivybell?”
Ivy beams up at my mother and says, “I do Nanna, I’ve been practising.”
“How about you, Arty? What are you going to say to Halle?”
Arty is going to be two next week, and they don’t call it the terrible twos for nothing.
“Broccoli,” he shouts, although it sounds more like ‘Bwock-owwie’. Whether he’ll perform when the time comes, is debatable, but at his perfect declaration of the word we’ve worked on for over a week, we all break out into a rapturous round of applause.
“Good boy, Arty,” Ivy praises. “Halle is going to be so excited to live with us.”
I wince, and my mother doesn’t miss my reaction.
“How about we get you in the car?” She says to both children. “And your daddy can bring the flowers.”
When both kids are safely buckled into the car seats, my mother turns to me and without missing a beat asks, “Are you having second thoughts? Nobody would judge you if you were, but don’t you dare mess that lovely girl around. You have doubts. Then you stop this right now.”
I walk up to my mother, the woman who not only loved me, but fought for me, during my darkest moments, and wrap her up in a hug.
“No, Mum. I’m not having second thoughts. I’m just not sure I’ve fully thought this through. Did you see how excited Ivy is? What if Halle says no?”
She pulls back and places one hand on each of my biceps.
“Darling, I’ve been around you and Halle, I’ve seen her with the kids, and as far as she’s concerned, the sun sets and rises in your eyes. She’s not going to say no.”
“And if she does? Say no, I mean.”
“If she does, you’ll accept that she’s not ready at this time, but you won’t let it ruin what you’ve found with each other.”
“And the kids?”
“Oh, Josh. Don’t you worry about Ivy and Arty. Those children are resilient. They’ll deal with it just like they’ve dealt with everything else - with a smile on their face, and their hand in their daddy’s.”
Less than thirty minutes later, hand in hand with both my children, we walk into Nate’s place.
All my plans go up in the air when Ivy and Arty spot not only Emma, Jake and their kids, but also Iz and his boyfriend, Flynn. If I’d realised this was going to be a family reunion, I would’ve chosen another day to ask Halle to move in with us. I wasn’t planning on having an audience.
Ivy spots her favourite uncle through the open terrace doors and rushes into the house to find him, while Arty begins to drag me towards the pool. My little man is a real water baby.
“Hey, Bro,” Jake calls out from the water where he’s playing with Caleb, his young son. “We finished up here about half an hour ago. Halle went back to her place, or maybe she was heading to yours. I’m not sure, check with Em.”
“Who said I was here to see Halle?”
Iz comes up from behind me with a tray full of drinks, and his boyfriend, Flynn, following with a huge plate of snacks and Ivy all but hanging off his leg.
“The flowers do, Josh,” Iz supplies helpfully. “Unless they are for me?” Flynn teases with a smirk and a waggle of his brows.
My cheeks heat as the stare of all three men focuses on me.
“Okay, guys. I’m not a zoo exhibit.”
“Are we going to the zoo? Can I get in the pool with Caleb? Where’s Halle so I can give her my flowers?” Ivy rattles off, not taking a breath between questions.
“Calm down, Ivy-Leaves,” Iz answers her for me. “How about you come over tomorrow, and we’ll take you to the zoo, then afterwards we’ll have a pool party, and you can stay the night too?”
“Can I Daddy, Can I?”
I look over at my brother, the man who already gave my kids and me so much of his time, love and care and I nod, my expression hopefully conveying all that I’m unable to say.
“Yes, Ivybell. You can come over tomorrow and stay with Iz & Flynn, but right now we have to go and give Halle her flowers, so can you give everyone a hug goodbye while I buckle up your brother in the car?”
“I can, Daddy,” she replies excitedly. “I’ll go say bye to Emma first. She’s on the toilet.”
“Ivy, I think…” my sentence dies because she’s already run back into the house with the chuckles of Iz and Flynn following her.
“Don’t panic, Em is used to getting interrupted on the throne. We have kids too, remember?” Jake calls from the pool as he throws Caleb up into the air with a squeal before landing with a big splash.
“I’ll bring Ivy out once she’s finished with her goodbyes,” Iz offers, and grateful for the escape, I walk back around the side of the villa to the driveway.
With both Arty and Ivy safe in their car seats and a ‘Go get her, tiger’ from Iz, we’re back on the road and travelling the short distance to Halle’s apartment building. The same one she still shares with her friends Rachel and Zoey.
God, I hope they’re not home.
I like both her friends, I really do, but I don’t think my nerves can take another audience.
“We’re here kiddos. Do you remember what you have to say?”
“Bwock-owwie,” shouts Arty.
“Uh-huh, I know, Daddy,” confirms Ivy.
“Okay, then. Let’s go and give Halle her flowers before they dr
oop, and all the petals fall off.”
Thankfully, Halle opens the door and not one of her roommates.
We make quite the picture on her doorstep – Tinkerbell with a bunch of green wrapped daisies, Arty with his finger up his nose, and me with clammy palms and pale, sweaty face.
“Hey, guys. I wasn’t expecting to see you until later,” Halle exclaims in a mixture of confusion and unexpected happiness.
It looks like she’s only moments ago gotten out of the shower. Her toned but curvy body is wrapped in an aqua silk robe, and a pink towel is twisted on her head like a turban.
“Bwock-owwie,” Arthur shouts, his hands outstretched for Halle to pick him up, which she does without blinking.
“O-kay, little man. I’m not sure what broccoli has to do with anything, but it’s good to see you too,” she says before hugging him to her and placing a raspberry on the side of his neck to which he squeals in delight.
Did I tell you that my little boy is completely besotted with my girlfriend? Well, he is. If he was a bit older, I think I’d have some stiff competition.
“Ivybell, you look so beautiful,” she adds quickly, not wanting to leave my little girl out of her affection.
“These are for you,” Ivy whispers as she stretches out her hand and presents Halle with her flowers.
“My Daddy has a question for you, but it’s a question from me and Arty too. Because we love you and we want you to be there to make us pancakes every morning.”
Okay. So my girl is ad-libbing. I should’ve guessed. She was supposed to stop after saying it was a question from her and her brother too, not add on words of love and pleas for pancake breakfasts.
Halle’s smile never falters but I watch her breath hitch, and a sheen of tears fill her eyes.
She bends to retrieve the flowers from Ivy, pulls her in for a hug and whispers, “I love you all too” before standing and aiming her gaze directly on me.
Before I can open my mouth, she stills me with her fingertips on my lips.
“Yes, Josh.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, I’d love to be there every morning to make you all pancakes for breakfast.”
