by Joan Jonker
Jill came in with the teapot, followed by Steve carrying a tray. ‘What’s all this about a wake?’ She put the pot down before shivering and rubbing her arms. ‘It’s not a subject I’d like to talk about.’
Keeping her voice low so as not to frighten the baby, Molly said, ‘It was just me and Nellie talking, and the word happened to come up. We didn’t have a conversation about it, just a few words.’
Nellie huffed. ‘It was you what used the word first, girl, telling me I looked so miserable anyone would think I was going to a wake. And in the end yer said yer thought what I said was very funny. That’s before yer told me not to mention it in front of yer ma in case she didn’t see the funny side.’
There was affection in Steve’s eyes when he looked at his mother. ‘Go on, Mam, tell us right from the beginning.’ He put his arm round Jill’s waist. ‘It’s only a joke. Yer won’t be frightened of going to bed tonight.’
Nellie was in her element. She started off with where she was standing outside Molly’s house. And she added more to the story than there really was, doing all the actions and changing the tone of her voice. Her actions and the expressions on her face were funnier than the tale, for she really put her heart into it. And when she came to the part where she was putting the flowers on the coffin when the corpse sat up and thanked her, she jumped back so quickly for effect, Jill closed her eyes and gripped Steve’s hand. But Steve, Lizzie, and even Molly, thought it was hilarious and roared their heads off.
There was so much noise in the room they didn’t hear the knocking at the door, and the rap that came on the window was so unexpected, Jill nearly had a heart attack. ‘Ooh, that gave me the fright of me life. You go and see who it is, Steve. Yer’ll not get me to the door for love nor money.’
Steve was chuckling when he opened the door to his sister, Lily, and her husband Archie. Only married at Easter, they showed all the signs of newly weds, never more than a few inches separating them, except when they were at work. Lily had kept her job on in spite of Archie’s wanting her to pack in. She loved her work, and her workmates, and also the independence, even though Archie had a very good job and was more than generous. Right now they were holding hands as they looked up at Steve.
‘Well, this is our night for visitors, but come in and join the crowd.’ Steve held the door wide. ‘Have yer been knocking long?’
Lily nodded. ‘We nearly banged the door down, but with the racket going on inside we knew we wouldn’t be heard. Hence the rap on the window.’ She grinned. ‘I resorted to one of me mam’s tricks.’
There was bedlam in the room for a short while, as greetings, hugs and kisses were exchanged, and everyone seemed to be talking at once. Lizzie was as happy as a child in a sand pit, for the more visitors there were the more she liked it. She’d spent years living alone when Corker was away at sea for long periods, so it was a treat for her to hear so many voices and so much laughter. But the noise was too much for baby Molly, and she began to whimper.
‘Ay, keep yer voices down,’ Molly warned, holding the baby close. ‘The poor mite is terrified.’
Jill held out her arms. ‘I’ll take her upstairs and bed her down, Mam. It’s past her bedtime, anyway.’
‘We’re not staying,’ Lily told them. ‘We only called to tell yer me and Archie are going to the pictures, in case yer intended paying us a visit. We knew me mam and Auntie Molly were here, ’cos I saw them through the window.’
‘We were going to call on yer,’ Nellie said, her chubby face screwed up in a smile. ‘Me and Molly are doing the rounds, and yer were next on our visiting list. But we can call another night, girl, so you and Archie poppy off or yer’ll miss the beginning of the big picture.’
‘What was all the laughing about, Mrs Mac?’ Archie got on well with his mother-in-law. He thought she was the funniest person he’d ever met, and the warmest-hearted. ‘We were knocking the door down and yer couldn’t hear us for the racket yer were making.’
Molly gripped his arm. ‘Are yer going to see a horror picture where there’s people dying by the minutes, or are yer going to see a comedy?’
‘It’s a tough gangster film, Mrs B., with James Cagney as the bad guy. One of the blokes I work with said it was very good.’
‘Then I suggest yer ask yer mother-in-law some other time what the laughing was about. Otherwise it might spoil the picture for yer, ’cos yer can only stand so much death in one day.’
It was Lily’s turn to pull on Archie’s arm. ‘It’s not a gangster picture, is it? Yer know I don’t like them. I sit with me eyes closed through most of them.’
Archie grinned. ‘It’s only a picture, love, and I’ll be there to hold yer hand.’
Lily wasn’t convinced. ‘Why can’t we go to the Astoria instead? Cary Grant and Jean Arthur are on there, in a comedy.’
Archie lifted his hands in surrender. ‘I’ll give in quietly, ’cos I know if I don’t there’ll be sulking all night.’ He was well over six foot, was Archie, and he had to bend to look into Nellie’s face. ‘Is it you that Lily takes after for being stubborn, Mrs Mac? Once she gets something in her head there’s no moving her.’ He put a finger under Nellie’s chin and lifted her face. ‘But I’ll tame her eventually, you’ll see. I’m giving her an easy ride ’cos we’ve not long been married, but she’ll not have it so easy when I start putting me foot down.’
‘Ooh, I wouldn’t recommend that, lad, it would be a bad move on your part.’ Nellie winked up at him. ‘My George tried putting his foot down with me, but he only tried it once. I stamped on it so hard he couldn’t walk for a week. He said I’d broken every one of his toes.’ She chuckled. ‘I hadn’t, though. I’d only broken three of them.’
‘Oh, I get the message.’ Archie turned round to face his wife. ‘What picture house did yer want to go to, my love?’
Molly, thinking it was going to be very late when she and Nellie finally got to her ma’s, tried to hurry them along. ‘If yer don’t make a move, the big picture will be halfway through.’
‘Yes, me Auntie Molly’s right.’ Lily tugged on his arm. ‘They say women talk a lot, but yer don’t do so bad, Archie Higgins. Come on, let’s be having yer.’
Lily and Archie had just left when Jill came down the stairs. ‘I think the noise upset the baby. I couldn’t get her off so easy tonight. She’s asleep now, though, so we can have a cup of tea in peace.’
‘Me and Nellie will have to be on our way after we’ve had a drink, sunshine, ’cos I don’t want to be too late getting to me ma’s. Her and me da go to bed early some nights.’
‘But a cup of tea will go down well, girl. Make us refreshed for the long walk, like.’ Nellie turned her head from Molly before adding, ‘And a couple of custard creams will give us the strength.’
‘Oh, aye she’ll need her health and strength for that walk.’ Molly laughed. ‘It takes all of five minutes.’ Then she added, ‘Unless we’re unlucky enough to meet Elsie Flanaghan.’
Nellie even had an answer for that. ‘If we met Elsie Flanaghan, girl, it wouldn’t be us what was unlucky, it would be her.’
The two friends got the same warm reception when they got to the Jacksons’. Bridie and Bob were always happy to see the daughter who was ever there for them.
Tommy had known his mam and Auntie Nellie were coming, and the noise of the knock had barely died down before the door was open. ‘Where the heck have you two been? We expected yer ages ago.’
Molly lifted her cheek for a kiss, even though she’d had one off him when he’d called in from work, as he did every night. ‘Oh, well, yer know things never run to course, sunshine. We stayed longer at Jill’s than we intended to. Lily and Archie came over to say they were going to the pictures, and their five minutes turned into twenty.’ She could feel the strings of her heart pull when she saw her ma and da sitting close together on the couch. What a fine example they were of happy married bliss. They’d married young and spent a lifetime loving and caring for each other. And their onl
y daughter had followed their example, then three of their four grandchildren.
Molly bent to kiss her parents, asking, ‘How are the two lovebirds tonight? I must say ye’re both looking very healthy, and also very smart. Ye’re better turned out than I am!’
‘Oh, Rosie makes sure of that, right enough, me darlin’,’ Bridie said. ‘Sure, she’ll not let the wind blow on us.’
Tommy was standing with his arms round his wife’s waist, happy and content as ever. And the lovely Rosie was always happy in his arms, for wasn’t he her dearly beloved husband? ‘I’ll not be taking all the credit, Auntie Molly, for isn’t Auntie Bridget one for being independent? I’ve only to turn me back, so I have, and she’s got a duster in her hand.’
‘Ay, don’t I get a look-in here?’ Nellie asked, not liking to be left out of anything. ‘I’m not a statue, yer know. I can move and speak.’
Rosie escaped from Tommy’s arms and within seconds Nellie was held tight and being smothered with kisses. ‘We’d not be leaving yer out, Auntie Nellie, for sure, it’s yer dear self we love the bones of. And that’s the truth of it.’
Tommy was next in line. And as always, he had the right words to use. ‘I never think of yer as just a visitor, Auntie Nellie, for to me ye’re one of the family. Like Jill, Doreen and Ruthie, I’ve always looked on yer as our second mam.’
As Bob was to say to Bridie in bed later, he would swear that Nellie grew six inches in front of his very eyes. She loved to be the centre of attraction, and when the praises came her way her cup of happiness was overflowing. ‘It’s nice of yer to say that, lad, really nice. Of course I’ve always looked on Molly’s kids as me own, same as she has with mine. Just one big happy family, which is getting bigger and bigger. The way we’re going on, every house in the street will be occupied by a McDonough, Bennett or Higgins.’
Molly winked at her ma before saying, ‘What d’yer mean by saying the way we’re going on? You and me are not likely to be adding any more children to the population, sunshine. Yer mean the way our children are going on.’
Nellie’s face creased into layers of fat. ‘Trust you to stick a spoke in the wheel, Molly Bennett. Honest to God, ye’re enough to drive anyone to drink. Does it matter whether I say we, or they? The world’s not going to come to an end because my bloody English isn’t what it should be. Everybody else understands what I’m talking about, so yer can just sod off and leave me in me ignorance. Yer see, I’m as happy as a pig in … well, you know what.’
‘Yes, we all know what yer mean, Nellie, so there’s no need to spell it out for us.’
Nellie looked downhearted. ‘Ah, that’s a pity, that is, ’cos it’s the one word I do know how to spell.’
Bridie laughed, Bob roared until the tears ran down his cheeks, and Tommy and Rosie held on to each other. Over his wife’s shoulder, Tommy asked, ‘Mam, have yer ever known a time when Auntie Nellie hasn’t had an answer to anything yer said?’
Molly shook her head. ‘No, sunshine, I can’t remember a time when me mate hasn’t been quick to wipe me eye. But I don’t give in easy. I’ll bide me time, ’cos the day will surely come when I get one over on her.’
Nellie huffed. ‘Yer’d have to be up with the larks to get one over on me, girl. If yer take my advice, yer won’t bother getting out of bed.’
‘Oh, ye’re not better at everything than I am, sunshine, so don’t let yer head get any bigger. I can beat yer at a game of cards any day.’
‘Will yer be having a cup of tea, me darlin’?’ Bridie asked. ‘And I made a tray of fairy cakes, and, sure, ain’t they as light as a feather?’
Molly could sense Nellie was going to rub her tummy in expectation, so she got in before her. ‘Ma, we’ve not long had a cup of tea in Jill’s. I couldn’t drink another one right now. How about a game of cards? Then I’ll feel more like a drink.’
‘And a fairy cake, girl. Don’t forget we’ll feel like a fairy cake, as well.’ There was a message in Nellie’s eyes, daring her friend to disagree. ‘It’ll give us the strength for that long walk home.’
They had two games of cards, one won by Molly, the other by her mother. Then they had a cup of tea and a fairy cake. At least in Molly’s case the word cake was singular, whereas in Nellie’s it was plural. For she just couldn’t resist the offer of a second, and then a third.
It was a quarter to ten when Molly looked at the clock. ‘Come on, Nellie, I promised Jack I’d be home by ten.’
‘I’ll walk you and Auntie Nellie home, Mam,’ Tommy said. ‘It’s dark now, and it won’t take me fifteen minutes there and back.’
‘There’s no need for that, sunshine, but thanks for the offer. Yer see, I’m never afraid when I’m out with me mate, ’cos there’s not a man breathing she couldn’t get the better of if it came to a fight. They’d be on the ground before they knew what had hit them.’
Nellie pushed back her chair and jumped up. With her fists curled, she took up a fighting stance. Then punching the air, while doing a bit of nifty footwork, she did her version of shadow boxing. Much to the amusement of her audience, every time she threw a punch, she said, ‘Take that, yer bugger.’ And for someone carrying so much weight, she bounced like a rubber ball, as light on her feet as one of Bridie’s fairy cakes.
The two mates were linking arms on their way home, saying goodnight as they passed neighbours who were standing talking. Then Molly felt Nellie squeezing her arm. ‘What is it, sunshine?’
‘Yer know what day it is tomorrow, girl?’
‘Well, I know it’s Monday today, and I know that Tuesday usually follows. Why?’
‘I was thinking about Claire and that man what comes in her shop to have his shirts and collars laundered. Monday he brings them in, so she said, and he picks them up on Tuesday, eleven o’clock on the dot.’
‘Yes, I know, sunshine. I was there when Claire said it, or had yer forgotten?’
‘I’m not going to say anything about yer being sarky, girl, ’cos yer don’t take no notice of me. So I’ll forget yer said it, and go back to what I had in mind.’
‘Oh, what had yer got in mind, sunshine? Go on, I’m all ears.’
‘Well, we could walk down to the shop tomorrow and see him for ourselves. It’s not far to walk, just down the side of the greengrocer’s to the main road.’
‘What would we want to do that for?’
‘Just so we could see for ourselves what he’s like. It won’t do us no harm, just a few minutes’ walk.’
‘I’m not really interested in what he looks like, sunshine. And anyway, what would Claire think of us? She’d think we were a pair of nosy beggars, that’s what. She wouldn’t be very happy to see us spying on her. I know if it was me I’d go mad, and I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who was that nosy.’
‘Don’t be getting yer knickers in a twist, girl. Yer take things too much to heart. Claire wouldn’t know what we were up to. She wouldn’t have to see us.’
‘Of course she’d see us. We’re not exactly invisible.’
‘We wouldn’t have to stand facing the shop! I know where it is, and we could stand on the next block and just see him coming and going. Claire won’t even know we’re there.’
‘But I don’t see any point! What good would it do if we did see him? We couldn’t tell Claire what we thought of him, so why bother?’
‘I don’t know, girl, yer can be really bloody miserable when yer want to be. We ask her enough questions about him, and isn’t that being nosy? I’d just like to see him for meself, that’s all. I don’t care if yer do think I’m nosy, I’d still like to see what kind of man he is. Is he a toff, is he well dressed and handsome? I’m curious, girl, that’s all. I don’t want the ruddy man for meself.’ They came to a halt outside Nellie’s house, and she said. ‘All right, girl, if yer don’t want to go, we won’t go. I just thought it would put a bit of excitement back in our lives, like when we open the McDonough and Bennett Private Detective Agency. Wouldn’t cost nothing and wouldn
’t hurt no one.’
Molly was being talked round. ‘Nellie, how many times do I have to remind yer that it’s the Bennett and McDonough Private Detective Agency, not the other way round? So when we go tomorrow just remember who’s boss.’
Nellie beamed. ‘I’ll come to yours a bit earlier for me morning cuppa, so we can get down to the laundry about ten to eleven.’ She stood on the top step to slide the key in the lock. ‘Goodnight and God bless, girl.’
‘Goodnight and God bless, sunshine.’
Chapter Thirteen
As they passed the greengrocer’s the next morning, the two friends waved to Billy who was serving behind the counter inside the shop. Then they turned the corner into the street that ran down to Westminster Road. Molly wasn’t feeling good about this; in fact she was very apprehensive.
‘Nellie, I’m not sure we’re doing the right thing. I feel like a sneak, and I’d die of humiliation if Claire happened to see us.’
‘She won’t see us, girl, unless she can see through thick brick walls. We won’t go near the shop, we’ll stand a block away from it.’ The little woman glanced up at her mate. ‘I hope yer didn’t lose any ruddy sleep over this? What about when we were playing detectives and trailing people? Yer never worried about that so much.’
‘That’s because we were doing the right thing, helping someone we knew. What we’re doing now is just out of curiosity, and it won’t help anyone.’ Molly sighed. ‘It certainly won’t help my nerves, ’cos they’re shot to pieces.’
‘Well, I think ye’re being ridiculous.’ Nellie’s chins were in complete agreement with her. ‘It’s a public road and we have as much right to be there as anyone. And anyway, if Claire did see us, we could say we were going to a shop in Westminster Road ’cos Beryl Mowbray told us they had cheap shoes.’
Molly’s jaw dropped. ‘Nellie, telling lies comes too easily to you. Yer don’t seem to see any harm in telling whopping big fibs. They roll off yer tongue, one after the other.’
