by Kimmy Love
“How was your trip baby?” Marge asked as she got Dee a plate of eggs and pancakes.
“Oh, Miss Marge it was amazing,” Dee said as she brushed back the baby curls on her little girl. “I’m going to take you back as soon as I, you know, win the lottery or something.” The two girls laughed.
“This angel didn’t fuss one bit,” Marge responded. “I swear you got the luckiest baby of all time,” Marge continued. “She definitely didn’t get that from her daddy. He was always crying about something.”
“He did that well into his adult life too.” Dee laughed, Marge smiling. Dee felt bad, but she didn’t like talking about Ozzie as much as Marge did. She had to think about him all the time when she looked at her baby girl.
*****
Even though Dee lived with five other people, the house was still insanely quiet when she walked inside. It was a rare occasion for her to get so much peace and quiet. She left her belongings in the car as she carried the sleeping Keisha inside, hoping that she would stay asleep until she could get her inside.
“Mommy, I’m thirsty,” Keisha said as Dee closed the door.
“OK baby let me get you something to drink,” Dee responded as she set Keisha down on the couch in the living room. She popped on the TV, got her a glass of water, and ran back out to the car to grab her and Keisha’s suitcase.
It was her grandmother’s house that Dee, Keisha, and four other people lived inside. Keisha studied social work in college and met Ozzie after graduating. She worked for a couple of years but hated her job. She eventually got into law school, Ozzie paying the bills, so she could study full time. She ended up getting pregnant and took a semester break. Then Ozzie died, and her world was flipped upside down. She had a child to take care of, student debt that couldn’t be deferred anymore, and no available social work jobs in a place where the government is bankrupt. She had to move back in with her grandmother while she looked for work.
She would have moved in with her mother, Janet, but she already had Dee’s brother, Jordan, and sister, Sydney, living with her. She also didn’t have the greatest relationship with her mother, lots of resentment brewing between the two. Sydney ended up getting pregnant before she turned 20, adding another person to Janet’s already full house. She still had to take care of Jordan as well, who was only 15 years old when Sydney got pregnant. As if their living situation wasn’t bad enough, their home caught fire and burned to the ground, destroying everything. Insurance barely covered the damages and with so many mouths to feed but barely any income, the family of three and one on the way moved in with Dee and her grandmother.
Janet and Nancy shared a bed in the master bedroom. Jordan got his very own room, as the man of the house and teenage boy that had very little say in the situation. Keisha and Roman, Sydney’s son, shared a room, and Sydney and Dee shared a room as well. It worked out in Dee’s favor, as Sydney was often staying the night at her boyfriend’s house.
Dee, Janet, Sydney, and Jordan all had jobs. Nancy would take care of the kids pretty much all day, the sisters knowing that they would have someone to take care of their children. Dee did worry about Nancy’s supervision occasionally, as a few times she found her asleep while the stove was on or outside on the phone while the kids played inside. Nothing too serious, but Dee still didn’t feel like her childcare situation was the best. When Nancy couldn’t take care of the kids or just needed a break herself, she could walk little Keisha to Marge’s house, and Marge would also have no trouble looking after Roman either.
It was great that the kids all had so many strong women to help raise them and family members that cared, but Dee was still jealous of situations where people had nannies or other caretakers look after their children. She wondered what it might be like to not have to worry about Keisha’s imminent school scheduling and Nancy’s deteriorating age, a worry she couldn’t help but constantly fear.
She looked down at her little baby sleeping so soundly. Only, she wasn’t really a baby anymore. Dee loved getting to see Keisha’s personality more and more every day, but it was still hard to see her grow up so fast. The only time Keisha would cuddle with Dee now was when she was as tired as she was then. She used to hold her little baby all day, just watching her eyes twitch and mouth smile while she slept. Keisha was getting more and more independent every day, always wanting to walk without having to hold her mom’s hand and lead the way down the sidewalk. She liked sleeping alone and didn’t need to cuddle her mom as much anymore.
She would give hugs still too but not as often as when she was a baby. Dee was happy that her little girl was growing into an independent person, but she still couldn’t help but feel the tear lump in the back of her throat every time her daughter turned away. Dee still couldn’t ask for a better little girl. She was patient and kind and knew how to say “please” and “thank you” when needed.
She had her father’s nose but everything else came straight from her mother. They both knew how to stand up for themselves but understood how to read a situation. Dee was always surprised to find out how well Keisha understood a situation, underestimating her intelligence even though she was still too young for school.
Dee knew she had to put her baby back to bed as people would start waking up and she didn’t want Keisha to be up all day and grumpy from being tired. She could easily get a couple more hours of sleep, and after stuffing herself with breakfast food at Marge’s Dee needed a morning nap as well. She just couldn’t get the energy to lift herself and Keisha off the couch.
There wasn’t anything Dee loved more than just holding her little girl. There wasn’t anything on TV that early except for infomercials and news, and Dee didn’t want any more bad news to bring her mood down now that she was already feeling the post-vacation blues. She started to feel her eyelids getting heavy as she watched someone use a miracle cleaner on TV, feeling the heavy and softly breathing Keisha drift in and out on her chest.
“You two want to go sleep upstairs?” Dee heard someone say as she felt her leg shake.
“Hi Mom,” Dee said to her mother, Janet, as she leaned over her. Janet was young enough to look like Dee’s sister, as she was only 16 years older than her.
“You have a good trip?” Janet asked. Dee just shook her head, able to tell that Janet wasn’t all that interested in hearing about the trip. She probably just wanted Dee and Keisha to clear the room, so she could smoke a cigarette while blasting the news before going in.
“Get some sleep baby girls,” Janet said as she gave both Dee and Keisha a small kiss on the cheek as they headed upstairs. Dee could hear her light a cigarette before they even made it to the top of the stairs. No matter how many times her and Sydney asked her to stop smoking in the house, she would still light up when they weren’t home or in bed.
Dee quietly opened Keisha and Roman’s door, not wanting to wake anyone else up. Keisha was waking up a bit, but mostly doing her best to nestle back into her mom’s neck and stay asleep.
Roman was sound asleep in his crib. He was about to turn two years old, but Sydney wasn’t so sure that she would be able to transition him to a bed, like, ever. He was a very mischievous little boy that would run around the house all day if he could.
“Mommy are you leaving again?” Keisha said in a small voice as Dee tucked her little girl in.
“Don’t worry baby I’m not going anywhere,” Dee responded, kissing Keisha as she laid her down.
Dee could have stayed awake but knowing that she had work a few hours later meant she should try to get as much rest as possible.
Just as she snuck into bed, her sister’s alarm started going off for work. This meant it was likely going to be the last bit of silence Dee would have for the rest of the day.
“Sis! How was the trip?” Sydney shouted once she realized her sister was lying in bed next to her.
“Hey sis. It was good. I’ll tell you all about it when I get home tonight,” she said sleepily.
“Whatever! Glad you’re back!” Sydn
ey said as she grabbed her towel and headed towards the bathroom. Dee was grateful she had a nice vacation and safe return, but she would have loved to just come home to an empty house for her and Keisha to enjoy. She longed for her own space where she didn’t have to worry about waking another sleeping baby or get pressured into a morning conversation with her sister. Sleep was her only priority. As she tried to close her eyes, all of the thoughts since she got off the plane started swirling in her brain. No matter how tired she was, she couldn’t shut the thoughts off.
Dee felt bad that her mother was still working so hard. She’d probably be working that hard the rest of her life. She never had the chance to go to college, having Dee as a teenager. She tried a few different things to make money, but once she had her second child, it was time for her to find a job.
She was one of the lucky ones that didn’t lose their jobs in Detroit in the last decade. Many families were out of work and there weren’t many other jobs available for people to take. No matter how desperate some people were for money, there just weren’t enough opportunities for the residents to get ahead.
She had a bad habit of spoiling her boyfriends. Janet had never been married in her life, but she certainly enjoyed the company of men. Dee had clear memories of her taking these guys out on dates or going on vacations, all while Dee had to walk to school with holes in her shoes. As Dee got older, she realized more how bad it felt to be alone, and part of her understood her mother’s desire to do anything possible to keep a guy around. She certainly still had a little resentment towards the whole situation, however. It didn’t help either that Dee had to step in as a parent to Sydney more often than she wanted, there being around 8 years difference between the girls.
Sydney and Keisha helped out with their little brother too, but not as much as the sisters did each other. This had allowed him to grow pretty independent himself, and he often kept to himself as well. Jordan had his own job at the local gas station, so he did OK when it came to buying things he wanted or going out with his friends. Dee and Sydney did their best to remind him to save his money, as it wasn’t like he was going to get help once he graduated high school, but it was hard to teach a kid to listen who had little money as it was.
Keisha longed for a day when none of her family members had to work, but she wasn’t so sure that would ever be an option. She enjoyed her time in the Bahamas, but she certainly would have enjoyed it more if she could have brought her family along. Her eyelids eventually got heavier than her thoughts, and Dee finally drifted off to sleep.
Chapter3
Dee reluctantly put on her red polo, not interested in making her way to work that day. The best job she had found was that of an assistant store manager at a discount convenience store. The store manager was a total jerk and treated Dee like she was disposable. Her dream was to walk out of there as soon as she found something better, but until she got her law degree, or a job opened as a social worker, this was her only option. She didn’t want to live with her grandmother the rest of her life.
She hated working the closing shift. Leaving the store at night was not easy. She didn’t feel safe walking to her car alone and certainly didn’t like when an aggressive male customer would come into the store looking for a fight. She didn’t get to see her baby after work either, as Keisha was usually passed out by the time Dee made the journey home. She was usually too tired to cook after work which meant eating a frozen meal or going through a drive-thru. She loved cooking but just didn’t have the finances to really experiment the way she wanted to.
Leaving her baby was hard. She felt like she was growing up so fast and didn’t get enough time with her. Everyone else in her family was usually home by dinnertime, so she missed out on a lot of their meals together, getting serious FOMO. She longed for a day when she could just hangout and have someone provide for her, so she could spend her time having fun and laughing with friends and family instead of staring at spreadsheets in a brightly lit cramped office.
The job itself wasn’t that challenging. She mostly just made the schedules, checked the orders, and helped pay bills. She earned a little more than minimum wage, her college education helping her secure the assistant manager spot. It still wasn’t enough, and she didn’t have good healthcare either. It was certainly a struggle that felt endless. There was no way she’d ever save enough or have the time to go back to law school. She was smart and good at studying, but with a little girl and a full-time job, she didn’t have a chance.
She needed to feel more important to the world than what she was doing. The store she worked at was certainly important and had many things that people needed. Still, she wanted to help people and take care of those who needed extra support. This place just didn’t make her feel fulfilled at the end of each day. She also felt that her manager could probably do more than the minimum he was doing, allowing her to have more free time to clean up the store and help out the other employees.
“Hey Dee, someone’s here to see you,” Brittany, one of the cashiers, said to Dee through a slightly cracked door. Dee’s stomach instantly dropped. She figured it was one of her family members, that something might have happened to her sister or brother.
She jumped out of the office chair and towards the front entrance.
Then, she saw him standing there. Ricardo was looking around the store with a slightly disgusted face, still looking pretty dreamy compared to the last time they saw each other.
“What are you doing here? she asked, shocked that she was staring into the face of a man she thought she’d never see again.
“You said you worked at one of these stores,” Ricardo said, smiling at her, “it wasn’t hard to find one with a manager named Dominique.”
Dee didn’t know how to respond. She was embarrassed that he was seeing her there, standing in her red polo and clearance rack khakis. She hadn’t worn makeup to work that day, though she at least still had that Bahamas glow.
“OK, but like, still, what are you doing here?” she asked, still confused.
“Your photographs. They were, they were amazing. I don’t know the last time I took something that made me feel so much. They took my breath away,” he told her. “I want you to be in my fall campaign. We’re finishing up the summer one and I need to start putting together an idea board.”
“You want me to model again?” she asked, a little shocked and confused at what he was asking. A smile spread across his salt and pepper dotted chin.
“Of course, I do,” he responded. “I can’t imagine anyone else that I want as the face for my next project.”
“I don’t know what to say. I can’t go back to the Bahamas,” she said, thinking immediately of Keisha. She hadn’t mentioned her daughter during their encounter at all, not expecting for that information to make any difference at all.
“No that’s fine, I don’t want it there. I want to shoot it in an urban area while it still looks like winter out, so within the next month is perfect,” he responded.
“You’re shooting it here?” she asked, shocked. She hadn’t thought of modeling as a professional career before, but of course, it had to be better than stocking shelves with $1 boxes of noodles.
“Well I came here originally to see you, but I was instantly inspired by the gritty atmosphere. I already have my assistant setting up my loft. I could offer you housing for it too, so we wouldn’t have to worry about scheduling and we’d get a chance to work closely together,” he told her.
“I don’t know,” she said, thinking the offer was a dream come true but still having to take her daughter into consideration. “My job, I don’t know if I’ll have the time.”
Ricardo started laughing. “You don’t need this job. I’ll pay you of course. A model for one of my campaigns usually goes for around 100 so it’s only fair you’d get offered that too even though you don’t have experience. And I’ll compensate you for the photographs from the island that I plan on using as well.”
“Wait, 100, like $100 a picture?�
�� she asked, shocked. Ricardo started laughing.
“There’s something I have to tell you,” she said, afraid about revealing to him that she has a child. This convenience store was not the place that she was interested in having this conversation. The deal seemed pretty unbelievable, and Dee would have normally jumped on an offer like that. Would it still even be an option if he knew that she had a child, however? Of course, she would want to bring Keisha to live with her as well. They would have the opportunity to spend all day together with Dee not having to worry about working.
“Look, whatever it is, it can’t be that big of a deal,” he told her. He seemed pretty inspired about the idea and Dee didn’t want to turn him down.
“I don’t know about that. Just listen, I—” Just as Dee was about to spill the truth, her boss interrupted.
“Dominique, I need you to take care of a lady at the register,” Steve, her manager said. He was usually gone by this time, but the monthly inventory was keeping him past his 4 P.M. clock out time.
“I’m sorry I’m with someone, can it just wait,” she said back. Normally she’d be pretty submissive and just do what he asked, but she wasn’t interested in being his doormat today.
“Is he a customer?” Steve asked, looking directly at Ricardo. Ricardo was so much taller than Steve and looked like a movie star when they were in comparable distances.
“Who is this man?” Ricardo asked, his thick accent showing. He was wearing a scarf over a wool coat, something a guy like Steve wouldn’t be caught in. Dee couldn’t resist but think about how good he looked.
“He’s my boss. Look, I’m sorry I’m just kind of in the middle of something,” she said, stressed out about dealing with both these men at the same time.
“Look Dom, I’m already past my normal time and just want to go home. This lady has a return,” Steve said. Dee knew that he was perfectly capable of taking care of the woman himself, but he didn’t like interacting with customers and usually made Dee do his dirty work.
