by Alice Ward
“I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, me too. They were all so great. Samuel was great. We fought, of course, but we had that twin thing going on for us so we were really tight. Until I sneezed. That’s what made everything worse. If I hadn’t sneezed, at least he would be alive right now. It messed me up.”
“Of course it did. It would have messed anyone up.”
“Once the man left, I managed to crawl out and get to the phone. I was still bleeding badly, and I don’t remember the ambulance coming and taking me to the hospital. I don’t remember anything until the next day when I woke up to find policemen in my room.”
“Did they catch the man?”
“No. That also messed me up for a long time. It took me years to sleep with the light off. In fact, it took me years to sleep at all. I was always a heavy sleeper, but after the attack, I couldn’t allow myself to drift off. I went through ten years of therapy before I started sleeping well again.”
“And you became a heavy sleeper like you were as a child.”
“Yeah. It was like I was trying to make up time for all the sleep I missed. But anyway, I was passed around from relative to relative for a little while, but none of them could handle me. I was either catatonic or I was filled with rage. I finally ended up on my aunt and uncle’s farm. They had never wanted children of their own, but they were too kind to put me in the foster system. They were nice, but cold. I could hear them fight over money and how much my therapy cost.”
That’s why she never felt wanted.
“The animals saved me. I took care of them, but I didn’t want to be a vet. I couldn’t bear to see one sick. My favorite part was being able to help with the births. That’s when I knew what I wanted to be.”
“What about being a wedding planner?”
She laughed. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
I lifted her chin until she met my eyes. “I remember everything. That’s why I wanted to see you again. That’s why…”
Just say it.
“Scarlett…” My pulse was almost pounding out of my skin. “That’s why I so badly wanted you to call.”
Confusion was a mask on her face as she gingerly sat up and turned to fully face me. “How? Langston, how could I have done that? How could I have called you?”
I searched her face. Searched those clear blue eyes. She hadn’t seen it.
“I left a note.”
Air gushed from her lungs. “You did? Where?”
“On the nightstand. I placed a glass of orange juice on top.”
She stared at me, then some sort of comprehension set in, and horror replaced the confusion. “I saw it. The orange juice, I mean. I overslept and Melinda called to see where I was. In a panic, I jumped out of bed and got ready quickly. I was out of the door within minutes.”
I pressed my forehead against hers. “I waited for you to call me.”
Her breath was warm on my face when she spoke. “I thought you’d walked out and never looked back. I thought I wasn’t even worth a goodbye.”
We both exhaled at the same time.
She winced as she settled back into the bed next to me again, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
She hadn’t seen the note. That knowledge was a momentous relief.
“Scarlett?”
“Hmm?”
“You are worth so much more than I could ever give you, but will you give me the chance to try?”
She smiled and everything inside me nearly collapsed in relief. “On one condition.”
This didn’t sound good. “What’s the condition?”
“Five dates.”
“What?”
“Before our night together, I had a very strict five-date rule before I had sex with a man.” I ground my teeth together at the thought of her sleeping with anyone else, and her smile got bigger as she read my mind. “Don’t worry, most men didn’t make it that far.”
“So, you want me to take you out on five dates, then what?” I lifted a brow.
The smile transformed into something sensual that made my cock twitch in my pants. “Then, I’ll give you the chance to try.”
I moved my hand to her belly, feeling the soft flesh wiggle under my palm. “Five dates, once a week. Time to get to know each other. Even better, it gives you time to heal. I like that. I won’t feel so much like a dirty old man if you’re healthy enough to run away.”
She laughed. “I’m not worried about running. I’ll sic Amy on you instead.”
I pressed a hand to my heart and gave a fake shudder. “Not that. Anything but that.”
She laughed, but the sound was caught in my mouth as I took her lips in a deep kiss. God, I loved kissing her. Loved having her hair between my fingers as our mouths worshipped each other’s, our tongues dancing and seeking entrance.
I pushed her hand away when it moved between my legs, her palm pressing against my rapidly stiffening cock. “Scarlett, we can’t.”
She didn’t listen, just tugged on the string of my scrub bottom. “I know we can’t, but we can play a little bit. I really did miss you.”
I kissed her cheek, her ear as her hand slipped inside the pants and she found me, her palm soft as she stroked down my length. “You are a witch.”
She laughed. “If I were a witch, I’d ride your broom.”
God, she was adorable. I stroked a hand up her back and down to her ass, kneading her flesh there. “When you get fully healed, I can’t wait to eat you again. I think about how you tasted and the sounds you made as you came on my tongue.”
She groaned. “These next few weeks are going to be miserable.” She squeezed my cock, her hand stroking up and down.
“You need to stop, sweetheart. It’s not fair that I get release and you don’t.”
She bit her lip but didn’t stop stroking me. “How about I finish this, then you massage my feet?”
“Just your feet?” I asked and she lifted a brow.
“Do you do more than feet?”
I kissed her ear again, moaning as her hand squeezed me tighter. “I’ll do anything. Haven’t you learned that about me yet?”
“Then do anything you want.” She grinned. “Except the boobs. You might want to stay away from those.”
She began to stroke me in earnest. I squeezed her breast through her gown. “I heard that milk comes in quicker with added stimulation.”
She grinned and stroked faster, squeezing harder on the downstroke. “I don’t think it was this kind of stimulation they had in mind.”
I kissed her again, her mouth capturing my moan. She reached up and moved my hand lower, over her belly and lower still.
“Scarlett…” I said as her intension became clear. “I don’t think this is wise.”
She stroked me harder and sucked on my lower lip. “Clitoral stimulation is okay. Stay outside the clothes, but please touch me, Langston. Please.”
She seemed to be in so much pain, and I’d do anything to give her relief. I didn’t care about any of the postpartum messiness. Shit like that meant nothing to me. But I cared about her. I didn’t want to hurt her. “Sweetheart… I promise to make love to you every day once you’re healed. Twice a day if that’s what you want.”
Her lower lip poked out. “But I want to have sex now.”
I kissed the tip of her nose. “Me too, but I don’t want to hurt you.”
She sighed, and her grip on me softened. “Do you have any idea how horny I was while I was pregnant? I had all these hormones surging through me and no one to surge them with. Kind of like now.”
Surge them with?
I didn’t dare laugh, just gathered her close to me. “I wish I’d been there for you. I wish I could have watched your body change and satisfy any cravings you had.”
With a sigh, she pulled her hand from my pants and snuggled close. “Do I still get the massage?”
“Absolutely.”
“That’s good.”
I started to get up but she didn’t let me go. �
��Just hold me for now. Massage later.”
I tried to remember the last time I’d ever just cuddled with a woman. Not since the conniving bitch, Leesa, I realized. I’d spent all these years missing out on the pleasure of just holding someone in my arms.
Not just someone, I realized. Her.
Listening to her breathing grow long and steady, I relaxed and paced her breathing with my own. Soon, I was slipping in the abyss with her.
***
Someone cleared their throat. It was Olivia with the babies. She was trying not to grin but was completely unable to contain it as she wheeled them inside. “You’ve got some hungry ones, Daddy.” She winked at me. “Sorry to interrupt.”
I yawned. “It’s okay. I think that’s part of the deal, being totally at their mercy.”
Scarlett didn’t move, not even when I unwound myself from around her and slipped out of the bed. She didn’t wake as Olivia shook her shoulder, telling her it was time to nurse.
I checked her breathing. She was fine. I really might need to hire a nanny for the times I wasn’t with her.
Samuel whimpered, and Scarlett jerked straight up in the bed. If I had still been checking her breathing, she would have knocked me out.
Not only was she awake, she was alert. She winced at the sudden movement but didn’t let any of that stop her from taking care of her children.
Might not need that nanny after all. Unless she wanted the extra help, in which case, I didn’t blame her.
As Scarlett began to nurse, I thought about her request.
Five dates.
She and the twins would be released from the hospital in the morning, and I’d need to give her a few days before our first date could take place.
The problem was, I didn’t date. Not like people in normal society would. I met women, maybe had a drink before we screwed and went our separate ways. But that was it. No planning involved.
What consisted of a date, anyway? Dinner and a movie? How could we do that with newborn twins at home?
Maybe I was overthinking everything.
I just needed to KISS it.
Keep It Simple, Stupid.
With that in mind, I began to plan.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Scarlett
The babies and I had been home for five days. A crazy, exhausting five days.
During that time, my milk came in, and I felt like a dairy cow most of the time. Nurse. Change diapers. Nurse. Repeat. And Langston was right there, sleeping on the couch in my tiny apartment when he wasn’t at the clinic or in surgery.
I tried to get him to join me on the bed because his legs hung off the much smaller sofa, but he refused, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to “be a gentleman” if he slept that close to me.
I snorted. “Who has ever claimed that you were a gentleman?”
He bit my neck in response.
Our first date consisted of Amy coming to my tiny apartment to babysit while we went down to the little coffee house. We were only gone for a half hour, but he insisted it was a date. I didn’t argue. Under the circumstances, a half hour of freedom was a luxury.
Week two, I met with Langston’s decorator and his mom. I approved samples of colors she wanted for the third-floor nursery. When I’d fake glared at Langston, he just shrugged and said, “A man can hope.”
He was still sleeping on the couch and had started walking funny, so I asked Amy to go out and buy a blowup mattress when he continued to refuse to sleep with me. After that, he slept on the floor every night, bringing the babies to me to nurse when they cried.
“Are you trying to punish him for some reason?” Amy asked me. “Or is he trying to punish himself? You two are weird. Just do it already. Screw your brains out and get it out of your system.”
“I pointed at my vagina. Out of service, remember?” I pointed to my boobs. “These are out of service too.”
“Then at least move to his place where there’s more room. I actually feel sorry for the man.” I gaped at her, and she shrugged. “I do. I won’t admit it to him yet, but I like him. I think he’s in it for the long haul. And I think he loves you.” She kicked the air mattress as if it was proof.
She had a point. I knew, and he knew, that we were both only prolonging the inevitable, but when I suggest that we null and void our five-week agreement, he refused.
“Remember how important it was to you that I have proof of Samuel and Sofi’s paternity? You had to know that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were mine.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“This is the same for me. I need to know that you know that I’m committed to this. To you. To our children. I don’t want to take the easy way out.”
So… he slept on the air mattress, and we cooked together, ate together, changed poopy diapers together, bounced screaming babies together. I met his best friend, Josh, and my life expanded to include him as a friend too. I also met Langston’s father’s parents, who visited often.
I’d never been so cared for. I’d never laughed as much. Cried as much. Held hands as much.
For our second date, we took the babies to his mother’s apartment where she, Gran, and Pops babysat while we went for burgers and milkshakes with lots of ketchup covering the fries. We walked through the park for about fifteen minutes before heading back to his mother’s place to collect our children and hang out with what was quickly becoming my extended family.
By week three, I wasn’t just falling in love, I was crashing to the ground as fast as a meteor hurling through space. We played board games and watched movies on Netflix, but we didn’t chill, just kissed and got each other so horny I thought we’d both explode.
That was the week Langston got hosed by Samuel. He’d been lucky so far, but I knew it was coming. Every parent of a little boy got peed on, and Langston got it good, right in the mouth. As he spit and sputtered, Samuel just smiled, maybe proud of his good aim. It was hilarious. My only regret was that I hadn’t gotten it on video.
The date was fancier that week. A real sit-down dinner in a cozy Italian restaurant that served melt in your mouth garlic twists that went strangely well with the sparkling grape juice Langston brought just for me.
“Want to get to second base?” I asked him once we’d gotten the babies settled. I was actually desperate for many more bases than that, and from the tent in his pants, so was he.
He smiled and cupped my breasts through my shirt. “It’s been a while since I counted bases, Mommy, but if memory serves, second base consists of anything above the waist.”
I grinned. “See, you’re not that old, Daddy. Your memory seems to be working just fine.”
He pulled me to him, still careful but not treating me like a fragile doll. His mouth was everywhere. My lips, my ears, my throat. We made out like horny teenagers, his hand finally moving under my shirt. His shirt. The one he’d left for me so long ago.
“You look so sexy wearing this,” he murmured as he unbuttoned it slowly, kissing the exposed skin as he went.
“Well, I’m pretty sure my bra was sexier back then.” I frowned at the nursing bra stuffed with pads. “And my cheekbones were bigger than my boobs back then too.”
He laughed and nuzzled my much fuller cleavage with his nose. “Mmm… do you have any idea how often I’ve thought of doing this?” I moaned, my fingers stroking through his soft hair. It felt wonderful to be touched in a way that wasn’t purely functional. “They were beautiful then, and they’re even more beautiful now, as is the rest of you.”
He took off my shirt and traced the curve of my cleavage with his tongue, kissing every inch of skin exposed above the ugly nursing bra. When he pulled the cups down and licked my aching nipples, it was the single most erotic thing I’d ever experienced.
“There is no part of you that I don’t think is perfect, Scarlett,” he said as he went lower, kissing the still squishy skin of my belly, tracing the stretch marks with his finger, then his tongue. He saved the scar on my side for las
t, and I didn’t stop him this time. I let him explore it, look at the tree of life that was growing from the reminder of death.
By week four, there was no question. I loved him, and I held that knowledge as carefully as I held my children. Felt it grow as they grew, seemingly overnight.
The descent didn’t seem so breathless now. Maybe it was because of the exhaustion and the twins needing so much care. Or maybe it was because we spent so much nonsexual time together as we worked as a team.
On some days, it felt like I’d known him for years, then I’d discover some new piece of trivia about him or a new personality flaw would be uncovered and I’d be forced to remember that there was still so much I didn’t fully know.
We grouched at each other. We made up with each other. We high-fived when we managed to get both babies asleep at the same time. Newborns slept a lot, but at times these two refused to be on the same schedule. It was hard. It was worth it.
Our date that week was a birthday celebration for us both. He told me he made reservations at an elegant steakhouse, and I squeezed my still saggy body into a pair of Spanx and a pretty wrap dress his mother bought me.
I’d been pumping regularly and freezing extra milk so we could spend more than an hour or two together, and when Angela, Gran, and Pops came to babysit, they shooed us off, making us promise to stay gone two hours at least.
Instead of going straight to the restaurant, Langston took me to the top of the Empire State Building where he presented me with the most exquisite necklace consisting of an infinity circle with two diamonds.
“This isn’t the kind of diamond I want to give you… yet,” he said with a grin, “but I hope you’ll know that this is a symbol of what I expect from us. Infinity. I love you, Scarlett. I think I’ve loved you since that first moment in the bar when your smile almost knocked me off the stool.”
Of course, I cried. There was no stopping it. “It’s so beautiful,” I breathed as he placed it around my neck. “I love you too. And I look forward to infinity together.”
