by Alice Ward
I watched her leave my bedroom, still fully naked. Her body was captivating. I remembered what it felt like to be inside her, and I instantly felt myself get hard again. The erection didn’t last long. Once Dani was out of my sight, I no longer felt any excitement. Guilt was the only emotion coursing through my body. Dani wanted me. That much I knew. I wasn’t an expert on all women, but I knew when they were attracted to me, and Dani certainly was. She begged me not to stop while we had sex. That was enough to convince me that she was just as into it as I was.
Still, I wondered why she looked so upset. Did she already regret our night together? Or did she just feel uncomfortable lying next to me? Either way, I hoped the guest room would be enough to put her at ease and relax her nerves. Everything would be fine in the morning. She would feel better, and we could continue with our plan without any problems. At least, that was what I hoped. I didn’t know if it would work. I was afraid of what I would find the next morning.
When I woke up, I didn’t feel rested. The sun seeped in through my windows and woke me far too soon. I tried to fall back asleep, but it was no use. I had to get to work, and I was sure that Dani needed to get home. Her life didn’t revolve around me and our arrangement. I didn’t want to keep her from her life, so I showered and dressed, then headed down the hall. I knocked softly on the guest room door where Dani slept.
She opened the door after only a few seconds looking tired. I didn’t think she’d slept much, either. It was obvious from the way she looked at me that she wasn’t happy. She clearly thought last night was a mistake, and I felt awful about that, but I forced myself not to show it. If anything, having sex would only make us more comfortable later. Showing physical affection in front of strangers wasn’t going to be easy, but now that we knew each other intimately, it wouldn’t feel as fake. We would be able to act naturally, and hopefully, avert any suspicions.
“Hey,” I said, trying to smile. “I figured you might want to get home?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I do.”
“Okay. I’ll drop you off, but I think I should pick you up tomorrow. We can go out again. Hopefully, we’ll get our picture taken, and the story will take off.”
“I have plans tomorrow,” Dani said. “My mother needs me.”
I wondered if that was the only reason but decided to take her for her word. “What about Sunday?”
“That’s fine.” She sounded like it was anything but. Still, I refused to acknowledge her discomfort. I thought by ignoring it, I would help it disappear.
“Are you hungry?” I asked as we walked into the living room together. “Do you want breakfast before we leave?”
“No,” Dani said, shaking her head firmly. “I just want to get home.”
I nodded again and led the way to the garage. We climbed into my car, and I drove her home. It wasn’t until we pulled up to her complex that she spoke again.
“Thank you,” she said. “For the ride.”
“Dani…” I laid my hand on her arm before she could jump out of the car. “Listen, about last night.”
“We don’t need to talk about it,” she said quickly. Her eyes flashed with an emotion I didn’t recognize. I wanted to argue, to force her to talk, but I thought better of it.
“Okay.” I gripped the steering wheel tight with both hands to keep from touching her. “Well, I’ll see you Sunday.”
Dani nodded once and jumped out of the car. I watched her until she reached her apartment door. She disappeared inside, closing the door swiftly behind her. I stared at the door for a few seconds, not wanting to leave. I hated the idea of leaving things unresolved between us, but I knew I would see her again in a couple days. If she still felt awkward about things, we could work it out then.
I drove away, still preoccupied, but satisfied that everything would be okay. On the drive to the office, I thought about what to do on Sunday. Dani and I still didn’t know each other well, but I thought taking her to an art show might be a nice gesture. She would enjoy it, and it would be in keeping with our made-up story. If we met at her art show, then obviously I had to be interested in art. It would be the perfect opportunity to be caught by an eager photographer. Most of the time, I avoided cameras, but I knew I needed to get in front of them with Dani by my side as soon as possible.
The day dragged by as I sat through hours of endless meetings, trying to focus on the work at hand. I approved marketing campaigns and dealt with FDA approval issues, but I didn’t feel the joy I usually did in it.
It was nearly eight when I headed home, my eyes gritty from exhaustion. When I arrived at my apartment, my front door was open. I frowned and stepped inside. Brandon was lounging on my couch, flipping through channels on my television. His feet were propped up on my coffee table, and he grinned at me when I walked in.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, throwing my keys down on the table.
“It’s Friday,” he said. “What are we doing tonight?”
“Brandon, I can’t,” I said slowly. “Remember, I have to be good for the next month or so. Dani and I are technically married. I can’t let anyone see me out with other women.”
“Oh, come on!” Brandon whined. “You haven’t even introduced her to your parents yet.”
“But I will,” I argued. “And when I do, I have to make them believe it. My father will know it’s partially a ruse, but if I can convince him, then I can convince the investors. That all starts with cleaning up my image. From now on, I’m a respectable, married man. I’m a one-woman kind of guy.”
Brandon rolled his eyes and continued flipping through channels. I knew this arrangement wasn’t going to be easy for him. He just wanted a wingman, and I was taking that away from him. Truthfully, I didn’t feel guilty about it either. For a while, I’d been questioning my lifestyle. Ever since I joined the Big Brother program, partying just didn’t seem as important. I felt like my life could mean more than just an endless stream of drunken hookups. Still, I didn’t like to see my best friend upset.
“Cheer up,” I joked. “Now you won’t have anyone to compete with. All the eligible women are yours for the taking.”
Brandon shrugged. “I guess. Still, it’s not the same without you, man.”
“I know, but it’s only for a month. Then, it’s back to normal.”
“Really?” Brandon raised his eyebrows. He didn’t seem to believe me. I didn’t even believe myself, but something made me continue the lie.
“Of course,” I said. “Do you really think I want to stay home every night for the rest of my life? Come on, man.”
Brandon nodded. “Fair enough.”
“Trust me. This month is going to suck in so many ways.”
“How’s it going with Dani?” Brandon asked. His eyes locked on my face, and I immediately felt self-conscious.
I hadn’t told Brandon about the previous night. Having sex with Dani wasn’t part of my plan, but it happened. I knew Brandon would approve. He would say that it was the least she could do since I was paying her, but I felt weird telling him. Dani already regretted our night together. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about her behind her back. She didn’t deserve that. Besides, what happened between Dani and me felt private. Personal. I wasn’t sure I wanted to share it with anyone, especially not Brandon.
“It’s going great,” I said. “We had dinner last night to iron out the details. We’re all set.”
“So, she’s totally on board?” Brandon asked.
I nodded. “Completely. I think she really needs the money. Otherwise, why would she agree?”
“Because she didn’t have a choice,” Brandon offered.
I shrugged. “Still. I think this will help her too. She needs the money. Most people do. One month is a small price to pay for an easier life.”
Brandon studied me. “What do you think of her?”
“What do you mean?” I asked. I was worried he suspected something. Had I given something away? Had I shown too much interest in her?
/> “Is she cool? You don’t want to spend an entire month with someone who’s boring. Or someone who nags you, you know?”
“She’s cool,” I said, keeping my tone casual. “I don’t really know her, and I don’t want to. This whole thing is a business arrangement. Nothing more.”
“Really?” He cocked a brow. “That’s all?”
I lifted a shoulder. “What else would it be?”
“Well, you are married to her,” Brandon said with a bark of laughter. “You might at least try being friends with her.”
“What’s the point?” I asked. “Once this month is over, the annulment will go through, and I’ll never see her again. We may be married right now, but she’s not my wife. She’s just a stranger.”
The words felt wrong leaving my lips, but I said them anyway. I wanted Brandon to believe me, to believe that Dani meant nothing to me. Deep down, I hoped my words would somehow become true. Caring about this girl was never part of the deal. She was helping me out. That was it. The last thing I needed was for Brandon to start reading into things. He had a habit of complicating even the simplest of situations.
Brandon shrugged. “Whatever you say, man. I just think a month is a long time.”
“It’s short,” I argued. “It’ll be over in a blink.”
“You say that now,” he said. “But once all the events start happening, it’ll feel longer. You and Dani are going to be in front of everyone, all the time. Your parents. The company. The investors. Photographers. The public. Everyone will be watching you.”
“That’s kind of the point,” I reminded him.
“I know, but it won’t be any fun at all if she sucks.”
“She doesn’t suck,” I said, laughing. “She’s cool.”
“Good,” Brandon said with a nod. “Maybe you’ll be able to have some fun after all.”
We fell silent and just watched TV together for the rest of the morning. It was nice to have Brandon around for company, but I quickly forgot he was beside me. My mind was too focused on Dani. I couldn’t stop thinking about our time together. She was sexy and intoxicating. I never imagined I would sleep with her, but now that I had, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Worse still, I couldn’t stop wanting to be with her again.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Dani
Saturday arrived much sooner than I expected. I drove to my mom’s house, ready to spend the day with her. I missed her and the simplicity that came with being around her. She was needy and sick, but I didn’t have to think too much when I was spending time with her. With Talen, my mind was always racing and unsure, but at my mom’s house, I could just relax. I sat on the couch with her, watching movies for most of the morning. She didn’t say much at first, but I didn’t mind. The silence was comforting. I felt at peace for the first time in weeks.
The moment the movie ended, so did the peace. “How’s Perry? Everything going well with you guys?”
I bit back the groan. I told her about the breakup during my last visit. Frowning, I tried to keep my frustration in check. There was always a chance that she would forget things now. It was just a fact of her life, and I had to be patient, no matter what.
“We broke up, remember? I told you last time I came over.”
Her brow furrowed in concentration. “You did?”
“Yes.” I looked down at my empty ring finger. I’d finally been able to get the ring off by trying the string trick I’d seen on YouTube. “He broke up with me the night of my art show.”
“Oh, Dani Bug,” she cooed and stroked my hair. “I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged. “That’s okay. It was for the best, I think. Our relationship wasn’t going anywhere.”
“I can’t believe I forgot,” she said softly. I knew she was speaking more to herself than to me.
“It’s okay. It happens. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m just not the same anymore,” she whispered. “I’m forgetting more and more. It’s not fair to you.”
“Mom.” I took her hand and held it between both of mine. “You don’t need to worry about me, okay? I can take care of myself. I don’t mind telling you things more than once. It just gives us more to talk about.”
I smiled, and my mom tried to smile back, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes for a second. I recognized her expression as thoughtful. She was thinking deeply about something that troubled her.
“Are you okay?” I asked with concern.
“Just feeling guilty. You’re always taking care of me. It isn’t your job.”
“It is,” I argued. “Of course, it is.”
“You shouldn’t have to do this.” She gave me a stern look. “You shouldn’t have to come over here all the time.”
“Mom,” I said. “I don’t mind coming over. I love seeing you, but…”
I paused. This was the perfect opportunity to bring up places for her to live. The conversation was inevitable, and I knew it needed to happen, but I felt horrible bringing it up. Sending my mother to a home felt like abandonment. I didn’t know how she would react.
“Listen,” I said, starting over. “I think we should start looking at other options.”
“Other options?” Her eyes widened, and she immediately looked upset. “Do you mean nursing homes?”
“I’ve been doing some research, and I don’t think you’re ready for something that extreme. I was thinking more of assisted living. You’ll still have freedom, but you’ll also have more help than I’m able to give you. You’ll be safe…” I trailed off as my throat began to close with emotion.
“I understand,” she said softly. “But this is my home.”
Her words broke my heart. I felt like the worst daughter in the world. I didn’t know what else to do. Even if I moved in with her, I would still need someone to come sit with her while I worked. At this steady rate of decline, it wouldn’t be long before she was unable to be alone. I couldn’t do it all by myself. Not when I had a job to do as well.
“I wish I could just take care of you all day,” I said, taking her hand in mine. “I really do.”
She smiled. “I know.”
“But, I can’t. I have to work and I just… Mom, I’m sorry. I don’t want to do this, but I think you need more help than I can give you.”
“Maybe we can just wait a little longer,” she suggested eagerly. “Just until I get worse.”
My heart ached again. Part of me wanted to argue, but I knew there wasn’t a point. We would have to wait until the end of the month anyway, and by then, she would have progressed further. I wouldn’t be surprised if she soon forgot this conversation entirely. I plastered a smile on my face and squeezed her hand. I couldn’t make her better, but I could at least help her feel more secure.
“Of course,” I promised. “We’ll wait longer. We’ll wait as long as you want.”
Her entire body sagged in relief. “Thank you.”
It wasn’t long before she fell asleep on the couch. While she slept, I cooked a few meals and cleaned the house. I wanted everything to be perfect for her. When she woke up, I knew it was time to go. Madison took the day off to meet me. We were going to tour a few assisted living homes to get an idea of what my mom needed. Still, I hated leaving her.
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” I said, leaning down and kissing her cheek.
“Bye, honey,” she said, waving me away.
I stopped at the neighbor’s house on the way to my car. After asking Mrs. Gleason to check on my mom, I drove through town. The first home was just a few miles away, and I arrived earlier than I planned. I sat in my car and waited for Madison.
While I waited, my mind drifted to thoughts of Talen again. I had been thinking about him on and off for two days. Since we’d sex, I hadn’t been able to forget about him. I hated myself for sleeping with him, but at the same time, I loved every single second of it. He had been amazing. His body. His touch. Everything. But I knew it was wrong. It was too soon
after my breakup with Perry, and it would only complicate our arrangement. As much as I wanted it to happen again, I knew it couldn’t.
Madison pulled up and hopped out of her car. She was dressed modestly, and I almost didn’t recognize her. It wasn’t often that she wore something other than her stripper clothes. I walked over and hugged her tightly. I was glad to see her. I didn’t think I could face this on my own.
“How’s she doing?” Madison asked as we walked inside.
“Not great,” I admitted. “She’s getting worse, but I just feel so guilty. I hate the idea of putting her in a home like this.”
Madison linked her arm through mine. “I know, but what choice do you have? You can’t take care of her on your own. Not anymore.”
“I wish I could,” I said sadly.
We stepped up to the front desk and told them we were there for a tour. While we waited, we talked more about my mom and her illness. It still made my heart ache to remember how sad she sounded that morning. She looked so defeated, so hopeless. I hated that I caused her to feel that way.
“Tell me the truth,” I said. “Am I the worst daughter in the world for even considering this?”
Madison punched my arm. “Are you kidding? Dani, you’re amazing. She needs this, and you’re willing to do anything to make sure she gets it. In my opinion, that makes for a pretty great daughter.”
I shrugged, not sure if I believed her. It felt good to hear her reassurances, but I still felt guilty. When the director came out, I stood up to shake her hand. She greeted both Madison and me warmly and led the way through the building. She showed us the individual rooms and bathrooms before we walked into the recreational room.
In the rec room, elderly people were sitting all around. Some were in wheelchairs, and some were sitting on couches and folding chairs. I smiled at them as I passed, feeling my stomach churn uncomfortably.
“As you can see,” the woman said, “we’re very community-oriented. Our residents really feel like this is home. They make friends easily. We’re all very close here.”
