by Alice Ward
With everything going on with Dani and at work, I’d postponed the Big Brother training until after the investment meeting. I wished I hadn’t, because it would have been a good distraction. Instead, I called Brandon and asked him to meet me at the lake. He had a boat that we took out sometimes when we wanted a relaxing day on the water. I hadn’t seen my best friend in a long time, and I was desperate to catch up with him. More than anybody, Brandon would be able to distract me from thoughts of Dani, and that was exactly what I needed.
“What time?” Brandon asked. “I’ll get provisions and meet you there.”
“Now,” I said. “I’ll head over there as soon as I get dressed. We should get there about the same time.”
“Perfect. A day of drinking on the water. Exactly what I need, man.”
“You and me both,” I said under my breath. “See you in a bit.”
“See ya,” Brandon said and hung up.
I hurried to my room and changed. Shoving my phone and keys in my pocket, I rushed out the door and to my car. I couldn’t wait to get as far away from my life as possible. I didn’t have the time or the luxury to embark on an actual vacation, but a day on the lake was the next best thing. As I slid behind the wheel, my mind turned again to thoughts of Dani. Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t control myself. I wondered if she would’ve wanted to come with me. After the Grand Canyon trip, things were tense between us. She was avoiding my calls, and I knew I needed to back off and give her space, but I still wanted to see her. I wondered if a lake trip would be incentive enough for her to see me.
Shaking my head, I forced the thought away. I shoved the key into the ignition and fired up the engine. It took an hour for me to reach the lake, but it was worth the trip. I sped and didn’t stop for anything. With every mile I put between myself and Dani, I felt better. I felt freer and more like myself again. Lately, I didn’t feel like me. I felt like a shadow of my former self, and I hated it.
“Talen!” Brandon yelled when I finally reached the lake and climbed out of my car. He was already on the water, standing in the boat. He held two beers over his head and gestured for me to hurry up. I laughed and jogged down to the dock.
“Man,” I said as I hopped onto the boat. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
“Works for me.” Brandon tossed me a beer and drove away from the dock. I shoved the beer back in the cooler and grabbed a water instead. With the investor meeting coming up, I couldn’t risk screwing up. If I got drunk, something bad was bound to happen. I’d come this far, I couldn’t let myself fail now.
We drove over the water in silence. As we got to the middle of the lake, the land around us was barely visible. I leaned against my seat and stared out at the water, letting myself relax. Every muscle in my body had been tight for weeks. Sitting here on the water, I could finally let them loosen up again. I breathed slowly, a smile crossing my face.
The sun beat down on us, and we continued to sit quietly. There was so much I wanted to tell Brandon, but I wasn’t ready to break the silence just yet. Being out here was so peaceful. Except for the occasional pop of Brandon’s beer caps, there wasn’t a human sound around. I listened to the birds sing and the bugs chirp, letting the sun warm me and the fresh air revive my spirit.
With a sigh, I sat up and took a sip of my water. It was cold and felt great sliding down my throat. I closed my eyes and drank more. When I opened my eyes again, Brandon was staring at me with a disapproving look.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m on my fourth beer,” he said. “And you’re over there drinking water, man. What the hell? Grab a beer!”
“I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. “You know I have to watch myself during this whole investor thing. It’s almost over. Just a little while longer, and I’m home free.”
“When’s the meeting?” Brandon asked.
“Next Monday. I’m almost done. Trust me, man, the second this shit is behind me, I’m going to have more than a few drinks.”
“We’ll make it epic,” Brandon promised. “I’m thinking L.A. or maybe Atlantic City. Somewhere far away where we can tear some shit up.”
“Works for me.” I laughed. “I’m going to be so ready to get out of here.”
“Your dad still think I’m the Antichrist?” Brandon asked with an amused grin.
“Of course,” I said. “He’d flip ihe knew I was with you right now.”
“You know, I’m oddly flattered by that. It’s a compliment in a way.”
“Only you would take it that way.”
“I have my priorities in order.” He shrugged. “Your father doesn’t understand priorities. At all.”
“I’m with you there.” Brandon was right. My father had one priority and one only. The business.
“How’s it going with the hooker?” Brandon asked abruptly, pulling me away from thoughts of my father. My stomach clenched with rage at his words.
“Don’t call her that,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Why?” Brandon laughed. “It’s what she is.”
“She’s not a hooker!” I said, the anger growing.
“Come on,” Brandon said. “You’re paying her to stay married to you. She’s giving you a service, and you’re giving her money in return. Where I come from, that’s basically the definition of a hooker.”
“Our situation is more complicated than that,” I insisted. “You know that, man. You were there the night we got married.”
“I know. Which is why I feel justified passing judgment on the whole thing.”
“Well, don’t,” I barked. “And don’t say anything else about my wife. You don’t know what you’re talking about, okay? You don’t know anything about her.”
I took another drink of my water and looked away from Brandon, but I could feel his eyes on my face the whole time. I could feel him watching me, analyzing my reaction. Part of me knew I shouldn’t have gone off on him, but I couldn’t help it. When he called Dani a hooker, I was ready to kill him. For the first time in our friendship, I found myself wishing I could punch him in the face. I was ready to feel his jaw snap beneath my knuckles. I’d never felt that much rage before in my life. As I sat there, trying to calm myself down, Brandon continued to stare at me in shock.
“Shit,” he said softly. “You’re in love with her.”
“What?” I jerked my head around to look at Brandon again. His eyes were on me, but he didn’t look angry or judgmental. If anything, he looked sad, almost like he pitied me. The sight made me even angrier. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Ease up, man.” His hands rose up in a defensive position. “I’m just calling it like I see it.”
“Well, you’re wrong,” I snapped.
“Am I?” His hands were still up, holding the distance between us. “Because you have never jumped on me like that before. No girl has ever made you act like this. What’s going on with you two?”
“Nothing.” I pressed the heel of my hand into my eye. “Nothing is going on. I just don’t want you calling her that, okay? She’s a nice girl, and she’s doing me a favor. She doesn’t deserve for you to say those things about her. She just doesn’t.”
“You’re sleeping with her.” It wasn’t a question.
I hesitated. He was right and wrong, but I didn’t want to admit or explain. From the look on Brandon’s face, I didn’t have to. He already knew the truth.
“Why does that matter? I sleep with everyone. So do you.”
“This is different,” Brandon said, shaking his head. “She’s your wife.”
“Five seconds ago, she was a hooker,” I reminded him. “Which is it?”
“You tell me.” He gave me a hard look. “Look, man, I just want you to be careful.”
“Careful? Of what?”
“Her,” he said simply. “Be careful of her.”
I stared at him. My anger was gone, but now I was more confused than ever. I knew I had feelings for Dani. I’d known it for a while, but
to say I was in love with her was taking it too far. She was important to me, more important than she should have been, but I didn’t love her. I couldn’t love her. I’d never loved anyone besides my mother. Ever.
“I appreciate the concern, but I’m fine.”
“Good.” Brandon nodded. “Because your arrangement with her is almost over, and when it is, she’ll be gone. She’s not going to stick around and be your girlfriend or your wife, Talen. She’s doing this for the money, remember? You blackmailed her into this. This entire thing was because you needed something from her. Don’t expect her to be here when it’s all said and done because she won’t be. The second she gets that money, she’s out the door.”
I shook my head and looked out over the water. Brandon didn’t know what he was talking about. Dani was a good person. She wasn’t the kind of girl to just write someone off, especially not after she slept with them. I didn’t expect us to be together after the investor meeting, but I hoped we would stay friends. Or that we would keep in touch. As I sat on the boat, I wondered if that was all just wishful thinking. My feelings for Dani were so confusing that I didn’t know what to think about them.
“You don’t know her,” I said.
“You’re right.” Brandon nodded. “I don’t, but I’m not stupid. You blackmailed her, man. You threatened to force her to stay married to you if she didn’t agree to help you. Remember that?”
I pointed at him. “That was your idea.”
“But you did it.” He pointed back. “What makes you think she’ll want to be in your life? Look, I’m not trying to be a dick, okay? I’m not. I’m just saying that you need to distance yourself from this girl before you get hurt. You’ve already fallen for her. In a couple days, she’ll be gone, and you’ll be heartbroken. Just distance yourself a little and prepare yourself for what’s about to happen.”
I looked away from him again. Everything he said made sense, but I didn’t want to hear it. The last thing I needed was to think about Dani leaving for good. She was already avoiding me. She hadn’t answered my calls or shown up at my apartment in days. I hated to give Brandon’s words any validity, but I couldn’t help but wonder if he was right. Would Dani really take the money and run? Would she disappear from my life without a word?
CHAPTER THIRTY TWO
Dani
After seeing Perry again, I was lost for a while. The days that followed led me down a confusing, unclear path that I couldn’t see a way out of. I painted more than I ever had as I tried to work through my impossible emotions. I was still in shock that he would dare show up at my apartment and beg my forgiveness, but he wasn’t my biggest concern. All his appearance did was solidify my feelings for Talen. Up until then, I’d been unsure how I felt. Everything was unclear and murky. I couldn’t figure anything out. Perry helped me change that.
It had been easy to send my ex-boyfriend away. There was a part of me that would always care about him, no matter how far apart we drifted. After five years with someone, I supposed you couldn’t help but feel something for them. Still, I was surprised by how little I actually felt when I saw him. The only emotion coursing through my veins was anger. I was livid, enraged, but I was no longer hurt. All the pain Perry had caused me was gone for good. In that moment, I knew that he could never hurt me again.
That knowledge was freeing but also terrifying. In a way, holding onto Perry would have been easier. It would have been better to throw myself into that pain and drown in it. I knew that the pain Perry caused me was minuscule compared to what I was going through with Talen. Already, my husband had managed to worm his way into my heart and my psyche. He occupied my mind more often than not, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
After I sent Perry away, I knew I could no longer hide from my feelings. They were real, and they demanded to be felt.
Still, that didn’t change the fact that I was confused. I cared about Talen, and deep down, I knew I was falling in love with him. He hurt me when he said our helicopter ride was just business. That one sentence broke my heart more than Perry did when he cheated on me. It was impossible, but it was true. Talen already held so much of me that I didn’t know how to extricate myself from him. Our time together was rapidly coming to an end, and I couldn’t stop it. I was desperate to slow it down and make it last just a little while longer.
I spent the first few days hiding from him, unable to face him. He called me a few times, but I couldn’t answer. I wasn’t ready to hear his voice. Knowing I needed to fulfill my obligation, I went back to his apartment and spent the past week either locked in the guest room, at my mom’s house, or painting. It hadn’t been hard to avoid Talen since he was hardly ever there. He’d been working eighteen-hour days getting ready for the meeting, and when he was home, it was only to sleep.
A month had never gone by so quickly or moved so slowly at once.
When our last Sunday together arrived, I grew sad as I stood in front of the canvas, knowing we only had one day left as “husband and wife.” The investor meeting was the following day. Talen and I would meet with them together, as partners.
I wasn’t worried. Each time we’d gone to dinner or some social outing, we’d been the epitome of wedded bliss. I wasn’t worried about the meeting, but I was worried about what came after. Once the investors left town, my job would be over. My duty would be fulfilled.
Talen promised that he’d begin the annulment process once the investors left. He didn’t want it to become public for several more months so we’d both have to lay low for a while, which wasn’t a problem for me. Aside from my upcoming art show, I had no desire to be in the public eye. I just wanted to get Mom settled into the new assisted living home and then quietly paint while I got over my broken heart.
Sunday evening, I decided to extend an olive branch to Talen. After all, the ruse would be over with the next day and we could begin the process of our break up.
Besides, despite my sadness, I was desperate to see him — more than just passing in the hall. I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things for dinner. For some reason, I was nervous as I emptied the bags in his kitchen. If I was going to let Talen go, I would need some semblance of closure. I couldn’t just walk away without one last night together. I cared about him too much to do that.
I felt him before I saw him, and turned to find Talen leaning on the kitchen counter. He wore sweats and a t-shirt that made my mouth water.
“Hi.”
I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “Hi.”
I began chopping vegetables and felt the heat of his gaze on me as I set to work. I knew he was surprised by my sudden onset of domesticity, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I wanted the night to be easy and fun. It was our last night together, and I just wanted to enjoy my time with him. While I still could.
“So,” he said, stepping into the kitchen beside me. “What’s all this?”
“Dinner.” I tried for a bright smile. “I figured, since it’s our last night together as a sort-of-married couple, we should make it special.”
“Special?” Talen asked with raised eyebrows.
“Yes. Special. And to me, special usually means food. So, I’m cooking.”
“You’re cooking,” Talen repeated. He seemed dumbfounded, and I couldn’t blame him. We’d been ignoring each other for over a week now, and then I’m suddenly smiling and making food. It was only fair that he wanted an explanation.
“Look,” I said. “I don’t want to make a big deal about this, okay? I know we haven’t really talked in a few days, but we have that meeting tomorrow, right?”
“Right,” Talen nodded.
“Once it’s over, our arrangement ends,” I said, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice. “I just thought this would be a nice way to say goodbye.”
Talen’s face was unreadable as I spoke. For a second, I swore I saw a trace of sadness fly through his eyes, but it was gone before I could be sure. He cleared his throat and plaste
red a smile on his face.
“You’re right,” he said. “This is perfect. What can I help with?”
I smiled back and instructed him to slice the tomatoes for the salad. My mother taught me to cook when I was really young, so I knew my way around a kitchen better than most people my age. I wasn’t a professional, and my meals didn’t always turn out perfectly, but I was making what Madison called my “famous” rigatoni for Talen. I never screwed up my rigatoni.
While we cooked, I talked about my paintings and my upcoming show. Talen seemed interested, but he was quiet throughout the whole conversation. He smiled and nodded. He commented occasionally, but it was rare. He spent most of the time helping me with dinner while I rambled on like an idiot. I felt dumb, but whenever I fell silent, he would ask me a question to keep me talking. If I didn’t know any better, I would have said he liked the sound of my voice. Whenever I spoke, a look of contentment settled on his features. I didn’t know what to think of it.
After dinner was finally ready, I laid it on the table and grabbed some plates. When the table was set, I knew there was only one thing missing.
“Do you have any wine? I forgot to pick up a bottle, and you can’t really eat Italian food without it.”
“No, you can’t,” Talen agreed. “I should have a bottle of red somewhere. Let me check.”
He went back into the kitchen to look. I watched him as he moved, my eyes trailing over his body. Now that I’d seen him naked a few times, I knew exactly what was under those clothes, and I was desperate to see it again. It was our last night together, and I couldn’t let it pass without being with him again. Just one last time.
Talen brought the wine back to the table, and I averted my eyes. I didn’t want him to know I’d been watching. He poured us each a glass as we started to eat. The food was good, better than I expected. I was pleased with myself, and the more Talen ate, the happier I became. He helped himself to seconds.
