by Parnell Hall
"You're saying this person might be trying to kill me?"
"That's right."
Martin Kessler's grin was enormous. "That's absolutely idiotic. "No one's trying to kill me."
A bullet whizzed by his head and imbedded itself in the wall.
~4
I SUPPOSE I COULD HAVE been lucky and not gotten Crowley. After all, this wasn't a homicide. Or even an attempted homicide. It was really just a stray bullet. Which in New York, alas, isn't that rare. Only the timing was unfortunate. My suggestion that the man might be in danger before a bullet missed him by inches had rather nasty implications. At least that's the way his wife seemed to take it. She made no bones about calling the cops. And insisted she talk to someone involved in the Victor Marsden case. Upon which the shit hit the fan.
Crowley wasn't far behind. He settled himself at Kessler's dining room table, accepted the cup of coffee Earth Mother offered him, and sat there sipping it just as if he were a student in one of Kessler's seminars.
"So," Crowley said, "this gentleman nearly got you shot."
It was all I could do not to jump to my defense. But nothing I could say was going to be of any help.
Not that I needed help. Kessler was broad-minded. Magnanimous. "I'm not saying it's his fault, but it's certainly what he had in mind."
"He came to see you?"
"That's right."
"Did he call first? Make an appointment?"
"No. He just rang the bell."
"He rang the bell, you let him in, and almost got shot."
"Not that quickly."
"Well, how quickly was it?"
"I don't know. He was explaining why he was here."
"Why was that?"
"To warn me."
"Warn you of what?"
"He said my life might be in danger."
"Did he now? And why was that?"
"He didn't say."
Crowley looked over where the detective was digging the bullet out of the wall. "I'm going to want to match that up."
The detective had to be a good ten years Crowley's senior. His look said, "Gee, I never would have thought of that."
Crowley turned his attention back to Kessler. "You have no idea why your life might be in danger?"
"Just what he said."
"I thought he didn't say anything."
"Just my name"
"What about your name?"
"He said the police had two names. Mine and another guy's. And the other guy is dead."
Crowley cocked his head ironically. "Did he happen to mention where the police got those two names?"
"No. Why?"
"Never mind. Did what he said scare you?"
"No. It sounded stupid."
"What about now?"
"It still sounds stupid. But apparently there's something to it"
"How soon after he entered the apartment did you get shot at?"
"It was only a few minutes."
Earth Mother was getting impatient. "You're asking the wrong question."
"Excuse nie?" Crowley said.
"The shot was a few minutes after he entered the apartment. But it was immediately after my husband stepped in front of the window."
"Is that right?"
"Yes, it is."
"Why did you go to the window?"
"I didn't go to the window. We were talking. I stepped in front of the window."
"He didn't suggest you go in front of the window?"
I kept my mouth shut, but it was getting harder and harder.
"No, he didn't."
"Or lead you to the window?"
"He didn't lead me to the window. He may have stepped in front of the window."
"Really? He walked to the window and you followed?"
"That's a little strong"
"But accurate?"
"No, it's not accurate. The three of us were in the room. We were all standing. Countered as people said things."
"Countered?"
Kessler looked embarrassed. "I staged the Christmas pageant. That's theater talk."
"That's ridiculous," Mrs. Kessler said. "Nobody countered anything. Nobody led anybody to the window. This gentleman looked around the room because he'd never been here before. He stepped in front of the window. My husband did, too. And someone shot"
Crowley jerked his thumb in my direction. "Any chance the shot could have been aimed at him?"
"Is that wishful thinking?" I said sarcastically. Still, I found the idea unsettling. Even knowing it wasn't true.
Crowley ignored me and the Earth Mother, concentrated on Kessler. "He never called your attention to the window?"
Kessler hesitated. "Oh"
"Well?"
"I'm an English teacher. The word never ..."
"I don't care if you're the Queen of Sheba. I asked the question because I want an answer. Did he ever direct your attention to the window?"
"Well, that's the thing," Kessler said. "He rang the bell. I didn't know who he was. I was reluctant to let him in. He told me to look out the window."
"He told you to look out the window?"
"That's right."
"You went to the window then?"
"Yes."
"The same window the shot came through?"
"That's right."
"What happened then?"
As Kessler described my dance move, Crowley sized me up from head to toe as if he'd just cracked the case. Of course nothing made sense. The operation was being masterminded by a lunatic.
Crowley cocked his head. "Just for fun, you want to attempt an explanation?"
"I was trying to show him I was harmless. Clearly that backfired."
"And while he was framed in the window-no one shot at him then?"
"No."
"So you had to go inside."
"Yeah," I said sarcastically. "Because I wanted to meet his wife and be standing next to him when he was shot, just in case you missed the implication that I might be involved."
Earth Mother appreciated the logic. "That really doesn't make any sense.
Crowley frowned. "Before you go taking his side, I would like to point out that this man has refused to cooperate with the police. If he had, this could have been prevented."
"Oh, bullshit," I said. "I told you this guy might be in danger. You thought the idea was stupid, so I stopped making suggestions."
"That's not what happened."
Out of the corner of my eye I could see the detective digging the bullet out of the wall was grinning from ear to ear, and clearly getting a kick out of my giving Crowley a hard time.
Crowley noticed. "You got that bullet yet? Make sure you keep track of any scratches you put on it"
"That his first bullet?" I said, rubbing it in.
"I'm through playing games." Crowley clapped his hand on Kessler's shoulder. "Do you have reason to believe this man might be in danger?"
"Yes, I do."
"Why?"
"Someone shot at him."
Crowley's face was turning red. "Besides that"
"I traced the names of two people. One of them is dead. That raised concerns for the other."
"Why?"
"Fifty percent is a statistically poor survival rate"
"Who gave you this man's name?"
"My client."
"Really? What did he say about him?"
"He didn't say anything about him"
"He just gave you his name?"
"That's right."
"Why did he give you his name?"
"I can't answer for his motivations."
"Did he ask you to trace it?"
"No, he did not"
"What did he say when he gave you his name?"
"I'm not discussing nay business with my client."
"You're not a lawyer.You don't have attorney-client privilege.You can't refuse to answer questions about what your client told you."
"Oh, yeah? Just watch me."
Crowley's mouth fell open. So did Ke
ssler's and the Earth Mother's. The detective kept his cool, but he was enjoying it enormously.
"I'm just an ordinary citizen, but I have rights.You can't push me around. I'm done answering questions, and I'm going home. If you want to detain me, you'll have to arrest me."
"All right, damn it.You're under arrest."
"Well, it's about time."
I whipped out my cell phone, called Rosenberg and Stone.
25
RICHARD ROSENBERG WAS AT HIS sarcastic best. "Let me be sure I got this straight.You arrested this man because you didn't like the way he answered your questions?"
"Don't be silly," Crowley said.
"I assure you I'm not being silly. I've listened to your explanation and that's all I can come up with.You don't even seem to have a charge. To the best I can determine, you arrested my client on suspicion of not pleasing you with his answers"
"I arrested your client on obstruction of justice."
"Yes, but that's such a broad charge. Barricading yourself inside a bank, taking hostages, and shooting the negotiator would certainly be an obstruction of justice"
"Don't be ridiculous."
"It's not ridiculous from the point of view of the negotiator." Richard shrugged. "On the other hand, I assume refusing to pay your parking ticket could be considered obstruction of justice"
"On the other hand," Crowley countered, "withholding material evidence in a murder case could be considered obstruction of justice."
"Good thing my client hasn't done that"
"Oh, but he has."
"Really? I'd like to see you prove it. I can't wait to get you on the stand"
"Your client accepted employment from a hitman. Knowing he was a hitman. That hitman is now suspected of a murder, and your client won't talk. I don't see where you've got much wiggle room."
"That's because you didn't go to law school." Richard pursed his lips. "Look, here's my best offer. Let us walk out of here right now and I won't make it a matter of principle to wind up with your house and car."
Crowley scowled. "Are you threatening me?"
"Absolutely not. A threat implies the intention to do something wrong. My intention is merely to go to court."
"So, according to you, the phrase `threat of legal action' has no meaning?"
"Oh, do you want to debate semantics? I love debating semantics at four hundred and fifty bucks an hour. Only I doubt if my client can pay it. I'd have to sue him for my fee."
"I'm not fooling around here. There's been a murder and an attempted murder. Your client's involved."
"In what way?"
"He knows the killer. He was employed by the killer. Now he's covering up for the killer. As well as his own involvement."
"You're saying Stanley's an accessory to murder? As a charge, I like it better than obstruction of justice"
"I'll file it if you don't cooperate."
"Now, that would count as a threat of legal action.You're quite right, there is such a thing, and you're guilty of it"
"I want to know the name of your client."
"Stanley Hastings."
"Not your client. His client."
Richard grimaced. "There we run into a problem. It is possible that my client's client was not entirely truthful in giving his name. Leaving my client with an erroneous perception of who he actually was"
"Are you saying that's the case?"
"I'm saying it's possible."
"It's possible pigs fly, but I wouldn't want to bet on it"
"Too bad. That would be an interesting wager."
"Are you going to keep evading the question?"
"I'm not evading the question."
"You're not answering it, either."
"You're the one who started talking about pigs"
Richard's cell phone rang. He whipped it out, said, "Hello? ... Thank you," and flipped it shut. "Judge Harwell has done me the favor of going to court. He is there now for the purpose of fixing bail for Mr. Hastings. Care to take a little stroll? I can't wait to hear the evidence on which you base the current charge. Or the ones you're threatening me with. Judge Harwell's going to love those."
Crowley looked like a naughty schoolboy about to be sent to the principal.
I loved it.
26
RICHARD WASN'T PLEASED, despite getting to flaunt his legal prowess and bop cops around, usually two of his favorite activities. He seemed to enjoy persuading Judge Harwell to release me on my own recognizance, but I guess it wasn't that much of a challenge. The minute we were safely out on the street, he raised a withering eyebrow. "Really, Stanley, this is beneath you"
"You said call if I got arrested."
"For murder. Not obstruction of justice."
"You weren't specific. You're a lawyer. You should have closed that loophole."
"I suppose," Richard groused. "Tell me, did you goad them into arresting you?"
"Just a little."
"Serves me right. So, what's the story with this bullet?"
"You know as much as I do. I called on the guy. Someone shot a bullet."
"Was he tailing you?"
"Who?"
"The guy who shot the bullet. Come on, numbnuts. These questions aren't all that hard."
"I didn't see anyone following me. And I was looking for it. It doesn't mean they weren't. But if I'm right, they went straight for Kessler."
"When's the last time you were right?"
"You'd have to check with my wife. She keeps a list."
"You're sure they were shooting Kessler?"
"I was standing right there."
"No chance they were shooting you?"
"No. Why would they?"
"Because of Kessler.You yourself are not dangerous. But if you get to Kessler, who knows, you might put two and two together."
"Put what together? I haven't got a clue."
"Yes, but the shooter doesn't know that. The shooter may think you're competent."
"Thanks a bunch"
"In which case the shooter may try again. The police will most likely be protecting Martin Kessler. I can't imagine they'd do the same for you."
"No one's after me."
"Are you sure?"
"Trust me. I've been on my guard"
"You thought someone might shoot you?"
"No, but
"But what?"
"Before. When I thought my client was at large. Before I knew he was dead. It occurred to me I was the one who could ID him. Connect him to the crime."
"That would be a worry. Aside from the fact he deliberately put you in that position."
"Right. But he's dead. And I don't know the guy who killed him from Adam."
"No, but you saw the two of them together."
"So did the doorman. Are you saying he's in danger?"
"Maybe, but he's not my client. You wouldn't be either if you hadn't lied to me."
"I didn't lie to you."
"You misrepresented. You told me you'd been arrested. You didn't say it was for littering."
"Accessory to murder doesn't qualify in your book?"
"You're not charged with that. I couldn't even goad them into taking a stab at it. No, I think you're clear until trial."
"Trial?"
"What did you think happened with charges like this? I have to defend you in court. My billable hours should eat up your salary for the next two years. So I'd advise you to go back to work.You got some cases to go out on?"
"You want me to handle cases?"
"What were you planning to do? Curl up and die? You gotta get along with your life. As long as you're doing that, you might as well work for me."
"Swell."
"Just one thing"
"What's that?"
"Watch your back."
27
I GOT IN MY CAR.
A voice from the backseat said, "Drive"
"Jesus Christ, MacAullif."
"Come on. Let's go"
"You got a gun to my head?"
"I wish."
"Hey, who ratted on who?"
"Who ratted on who? Who dumped a steaming pile of bullshit in the middle of whose office and said, `Have a nice day'?"
"I didn't lie to you, MacAullif."
"Oh, no? Did you tell me the truth?"
"I didn't tell you anything. We discussed a hypothetical situation."
"Yes, and when I'm hypothetically fired and lose my hypothetical pension, that'll be a great solace to me."
"How could they fire a cop who uses words like solace?"
"Will you drive, for Chrissakes? I'm really cramped back here."
"Sure. Anything to make you comfortable."
I pulled away from the curb with more force than was actually needed. I didn't leave rubber, but I didn't take that much with me, either.
MacAullif cursed and sat up. I could see his face in the rearview mirror.
"How'd you get my car door open?"
"I'm a cop."
"That's the type of answer that tends to annoy us civilians."
"God forbid I should do that"
"Look, MacAullif, you picked me up, you handed me over to the cops, you said you had no choice. That may be true, but the fact is you did it, and now you're pissed about it."
"At the time I was not aware of certain things."
"What things?"
"Martin Kessler."
"I told you about Martin Kessler."
"You told me dick about Martin Kessler.You had me trace the name Martin Kessler just to show I could trace the name."
"That is not why I had you do it."
"Now you tell me."
"Do you really think I'd waste your time making you prove you could trace a name?"
"No. But you'd do it to throw me off the track."
"That's why you turned me in? Because you were mad at me?"
"Don't be stupid. What's all this about the schoolteacher?"
"Someone tried to shoot him."
"Why?"
"Because you traced his name."
"Why did I trace his name?"
"Because I gave it to you."
"Don't be a wiseass. I got a very short fuse on this one."
"Where would you like to go?"
"Downtown is good."
"Wanna get in the front seat?"
"I'm too big to climb in the front seat."
"I'll stop the car."
