“So? My mom told me I grew three sizes and four inches one summer.“
“Your mom said all kinds of things,“ Carolyn said.
Mom had passed last spring. We used to joke about her seeing Denny through high school. It wasn’t meant to be.
“Could you give it a rest, Carolyn?“ My wife thought that seven months was long enough. For mourning.
She forged ahead. “Denny’s getting fat, Gary. We can’t let him get overweight.“
“So, we’ll put him on a diet,“ I said. I’d been a little chunky when I was his age. When my mom found out how much time I could waste playing video games, she ripped the whole console out of the wall. It was the cold-turkey video game withdrawal method. I lost the weight.
We tried a diet, but Denny was too young to understand why he couldn’t eat everything he liked. I wasn’t surprised when a couple of frustrating weeks later, Carolyn told me that she’d called Dr. Mandel.
There was, of course, a gene therapy — the most popular one of all — to deal with unwanted weight gain. This time, the virus carrying altered DNA helped to increase some of the hormones in the brain that controlled appetite and metabolism.
Voila! A thin kid.
That was Denny’s third treatment.
The rain is imploding on the roof. It’s almost in my head.
“Turn up the heat!“ I scream.
The house complies. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think that the house was sulking.
After the obesity treatment, Denny started getting into soccer. And discovered his talent for art.
oOo
By thirteen, Denny was Dr. Mandel’s best patient. He had even been featured on the cover of Parenting with two other kids that had been helped by Dr. Mandel’s gene practice. It wasn’t exactly as if gene therapy was cutting-edge any more. Dr. Mandel was known for his “boutique“ practice. That meant that he helped parents with money and fine-edged concerns about their children’s growth and well-being.
No one really took the dire warnings of the early part of the millennium seriously.
Creating a “master race“ and so-on. Well, heck. If a person could get a little bit better in some way, and it wasn’t hurting them or anybody else, how did that qualify as a “master race?“ People without genetic improvements were never looked down upon.
Sure, it was a generational thing. I mean, there were some skin therapies for people Carolyn’s and my age. And they had learned how to rejuvenate most of the vital organs. When I was young, it was a big deal for anybody to make it to age 100. These days, you had to hit 120 and look really good to get your picture on the newslinks.
It was the kids that benefited. If somebody would have told me back in the day that a Pugsley kid could turn into a hunk in a matter of weeks, or a kid with no chin could suddenly acquire a nice, square one without surgery, I would have laughed out loud. You were what you were born to be.
Up until he was 9 or 10, Denny’s eyes were kind of a hazel color. Now they were piercing, bright blue. The girls went crazy over his eyes. I mean, the kid was a good-looking fifteen, but —
The house chimed. Somebody was calling.
“Gary here,“ I answered.
“Is Denny home?“ came a petite, snippy little voice.
“Yes, but he’s sleeping. Tired out after his game.“ I didn’t share that he’d had yet another treatment — this one to deal with a few pimples, of all things. Kids slept a lot after a treatment. Body change and metabolic readjustment, supposedly. Dr. Mandel likened it to “growing pains.“
“Oh, well, like we were supposed to be... studying... for chemistry tonight,“ the little voice said. After a moment’s pause, she added, “This is Candy.“
“I thought you were Apple,“ I said. She sounded like the girl Denny had introduced me to named “Apple.“ Apple was a cheerleader, and —
“No, I’m Candy,“ she said vehemently. “I don’t see how you could confuse us. Apple is completely shallow and self-centered and she can’t pass math. I’m the captain of the Debate Team.“
“Oh,“ I said. Of course she was Debate Team Captain. “My mistake. Apple calls a lot.“
“Oh,“ Candy said. “I see.“
“Denny hardly ever takes her calls,“ I said. This was utterly untrue, but for some reason, I enjoyed the thought of the little white lie that was involved.
“Oh,“ she said, voice brightening. “Well, just tell Denny that I called. Thank you, Mr. Gill.“ And she broke the connection.
So I went upstairs.
oOo
“Hey,“ I said, waking Denny. “A girl called.“
Denny rose, shaking sleep out of his eyes. “Yeah? Who was it, Dad?“
“Apple,“ I said. “Wait — no, Candy.“
“Candy,“ Denny said, smiling slyly. “She likes me, I think.“
“She’s the jealous type too,“ I said. “What are you doing to attract all these girls, Denny?“
Denny scooted up in bed and swung his legs to the floor. He started rubbing his shoulder. “Hurt it a little bit in the game,“ he said.
“How’d it go?“
“Not bad,“ he said. “We won by two goals. I got the last point.“
Of course you did, I thought. I hadn’t gone to the game. Somehow, I just hadn’t wanted to. It was raining. I said it was crazy to play soccer in the rain. Watching soccer in the rain was even crazier.
I couldn’t put my finger on the real reason I hadn’t gone to the game. Carolyn was at work, of course. She had a fulfilling, demanding job at the local art museum. She put together their brochures and maintained their web presence. Everybody says “what artistic talent she has.“ It’s really amazing how Denny has the same abilities — maybe even more so. Paintings, drawings, vector art — Denny does it all. He would be taking sculpture, if it didn’t conflict with soccer practice.
Denny got up and started to strip off his clothes. He was only fifteen, but his chest and biceps were more muscular than mine. Not just at that age — now.
He sprinted into his bathroom and called for the house to turn on the shower.
“Did you order more after-shave, Dad?“ he called.
“Yeah,“ I said. “Yesterday.“
“Oh, right,“ Denny said. “It’s all full now — I can see it.“
Of course I ordered after-shave. When you work from home, all those little chores seem to fall on you. Tell the house what to cook for dinner, tell it to keep the different meals ready at different times for everyone’s schedule, see to it the laundry schedule isn’t too full and somebody — namely Denny — isn’t going to have to run to a soccer game and play in a dirty jersey. Make sure all the plants are watered and trimmed and the rug is vacuumed and the floor polished and there are no lights out and there —
“Hey Dad, what should I do about Candy?“ Denny asked from the shower.
“Do about what?“
“She likes me, Dad. I like her fine as a friend, but I don’t want to get serious. She’s just not —“
“What’s wrong with her?“
“Nothing,“ Denny said.
“Well, if there’s nothing wrong with her, why don’t you like her?“ I knew perfectly well what he meant, but I was just playing with his mind.
“I mean like, Dad. As in... you know...“
“You’re supposed to be the genius,“ I said. “I don’t know, so explain it to me.“
I don’t know what I expected to hear. “She’s homely, Dad.“ Or, “She comes on too strong.“ Or, maybe, “She’s pretty nerdy.“
“She’s a mundane, Dad,“ Denny said. “I just can’t get interested in a girl who’s never had any type of modifications.“
I said, “Oh.“
I sat on the bed. I think it was the way he said it.
Denny came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his Adonis-like frame. “Dad, you know how it is,“ he said.
“Yeah,“ I said.
“I mean, look at Apple. She might not be that
smart, but she’s got a great body. She does a five-minute mile, and her nails are perfect. I know her hair’s not real, but what does that matter? It looks great.“
“Apple’s a nice girl,“ I said.
A long time ago when Denny was a baby, my mother came over and we spent the whole day playing. Building towers of blocks. Reading books. Setting up paper and finger paints on the kitchen table. She baked cookies.
I watched my son and my mother playing together. His hair was light brown and wispy over his hazel eyes. Maybe he looked like an old, balding fat guy, but he was just a baby. There was a funny little cleft in his chin. He was clumsy. We worked with him to use his right hand, then his left. Just letting him experiment. She grabbed his outstretched hands in hers and lifted him up. He giggled and stood and toddled, then soon sat back down. He was only nine months.
Even a genetically modified baby can’t walk at nine months.
And it comes to me.
Why I didn’t go to the game.
I looked in Denny’s eyes a long while. Bright blue, they were. There’s been nobody with blue eyes in my family for a long time. Maybe there never were. I can’t say those were Carolyn’s eyes, either. She has muddy brown eyes, and hates them.
Denny started to laugh, feeling uncomfortable. “Hey, Dad, what are you looking at me like that for?“
I can’t reply.
“I’m just — you know —“ I say, finally. I look over at Denny’s artwork. At the trophies for soccer. Math ribbons. His poster, running for class president last year.
Yeah, he won.
“Your mom threw your little kid football out this morning,“ I said.
“What football?“ Denny asked.
It was no big deal, I guess. I really didn’t know how to explain.
oOo
I heard him on the phone after dinner.
Talking up that Apple.
“Yeah, baby. I know it’s hard. But everyone’s parents are pretty much mundanes. You should see my Dad.“
It wasn’t like I hadn’t had my own rough spots with my Dad. I wanted to run in and grab the vox away from Denny. Yell. Tell her to respect her parents. Tell him.
Denny never knew my father. Carolyn’s Dad was an old fart who painted bowls of fruit and sad-eyed clowns.
He wasn’t a bad guy. He was just kind of... distant.
There was no way to make Denny comprehend that my Dad had been a great guy. I mean, I hated Dad when he grounded me. I hated him when he took my car away. I hated him when he flushed my sad little pot stash down the can.
He taught me responsibility. He taught me what it meant to be a man.
A mundane.
Hush my feet, I told the house much later that night. The house could do that, you know. Make it quiet to walk, or very noisy. Only the administrator could tell it to do that. I know a lot of parents that use this feature.
I was sleeping in my study again. No. I was lying on the couch in the study, pretending to sleep.
It was easier. Carolyn always has some book she’s reading or some work she’s going over and that light in my eyes drives me crazy.
I was turning the whole thing over in my mind.
All the little treatments. Yeah, it was right to fix Denny’s heart.
We had to fix Denny’s heart.
Denny was the only son Carolyn and I were ever going to have.
I used, back in the day, you know. Stacking. I was juiced up all the time.
I thought it made me more of a man.
They said it was a minor miracle that Carolyn had gotten pregnant, since I had a sperm count of about 3. Three million particles per ml. And after that, it went down even more. They call that sterile.
She could have left me. Maybe if I had been in her shoes, I would have. She could have had a lot more kids with a healthy man.
But this was our son. This was Denny.
One time, my Dad was watching me at football practice. I caught a right screen pass we’d been practicing a long time and raced away. My legs were wings. The scrimmagers hurled themselves at me in slow motion. I was flying, the wind whipping through the bars of my helmet. Nobody could touch me.
My Dad had this look on his face when he ran out on the field after that scrimmage.
We didn’t need to say too much. In fact, we didn’t say anything.
I was his son, and he was my Dad.
Then it started to rain, and we headed for our car.
I wandered into the kitchen, still remembering.
“Hey house, I’m going to make a sandwich,“ I whispered. “I want to use the last of that good bread.“
“Do you want me to slice it?“ the house asked.
“No,“ I said. “You know I cut it myself.“
“That’s right,“ the house said. It put the bread and knife out on the counter.
“Mustard?“
“Yes.“
“Lettuce?“
“No, just bologna.“
“Very good,“ the house said. “Low-fat, high protein.“
“Right, house,“ I said. “Thanks.“
I cut the bread for the sandwich. Put mustard on the bread. Slapped down the meat, flipped the whole thing together and stuffed it in my mouth.
Then I started upstairs on quiet feet.
“Don’t forget to put your knife in the dishwasher,“ the house said.
To some questions, house did not require an immediate answer.
oOo
In terms of his eyes, they were blue.
A tear rolls down my mundane cheek.
His chest moves slowly, up and down. His breathing soft, like a cat.
Denny stirs. Moans slightly.
So they dream.
But what dreams come, I can never know.
There was no such face, ever. Not in my house. Not in my line. None of my father’s strength. None of my mother’s cleft chin. None of us were ever so broad-shouldered.
None of us were any good at math.
We were good with people. We were fast runners, me and Dad.
Denny’s a fast runner, too, but different.
One time I visited Dad in the care home. Premature Alzheimers, they said. It was the last time he’d know my face. Be able to say my name.
“Carolyn and I are having a baby,“ I told him. “It’s going to be a little boy.“
He took my hand.
“I’m so glad, Son,“ he said, his brown eyes warm and lucid. Knowing me and what I said.
I wonder what it will feel like when I’m an old man. Denny won’t come. I can’t imagine him ever telling me he’s going to have a son.
I dream what it will feel like to look into those ice-blue, strange eyes.
Just one stroke. Quick. Hard.
Down into his changed heart. The heart of a perfect stranger.
Denny turns and sighs.
Like a vision, I see my Dad’s face. He speaks.
Why did you lose us, Gary? Your Mom — me? For this?
He taught me what it was to be a man.
Outside, the rain falls. It’s tapping on the roof like a hundred little cats running up and down.
I listen.
Then I turn and go on my quiet feet back down the stairs.
Outside, the rain is a cold curtain of ice knifing my face. I look up, into the clear, black sky. No stars, nothing. Pines shadowed against the midnight fog.
I know if I just look hard enough, I’ll find the other half of the football.
Let the sky darken like soot. Let the wind gather.
Let it rain.
oOo
For Anthony Sterling Rodgers
oOo
Amy Sterling Casil
Inspired by a lifelong love of nature, endless curiosity, and a belief in wonderful things, Amy Sterling Casil is a 2002 Nebula Award nominee and recipient of other awards and recognition for her short science fiction and fantasy which has appeared in publications ranging from The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction to Zoetrope. She is
the author of 21 nonfiction books, about a hundred short stories, one fiction and poetry collection, and two novels. She lives in Playa del Rey, California with her daughter Meredith and a Jack Russell Terrier named Badger.
Rocket Boy and the Geek Girls Page 16
