by Lee Rose
“Who is it?” he barely heard the soft voice ask. It was shaky and nervous, and he knew right away it was Alana.
“It’s me, Noah.” He lightened his voice, not wanting to frighten her.
She unlocked the chain and opened the door slowly but only a crack. She peeked out looking worried. “Noah, you hung up so quickly. I could have told you over the phone.”
“I just wanted to be here with you,” he assured her, giving her a gentle smile. He didn’t want to scare or overwhelm her. He let out a deep breath, doing his best to appear calm. “Can I come in?”
She opened the door and let him in. She went straight to the couch and picked up the blanket, hugging it to her chest. She wore another old shirt and sweatpants. He was even more worried and a little upset. Why was her family letting her sit here alone doing nothing? Couldn’t they see she was depressed and shouldn’t be alone?
“No one is home?” he guessed. He hated the thought she was sitting here alone. He imagined her jumping at every noise and dark shadow. The wind was picking up and making plenty of noises, along with the heavy rain. The TV was on low, but he doubted she even watched it. Her skin was white and pale.
“Ray called. He’ll be here in a minute. Alicia is usually home by now, but she had to cover someone’s shift,” Alana explained. “Papa wanted me to sit at the restaurant, but I’m not ready to have people asking me over and over what happened that night. I’m trying to forget, not remember.”
Her eyes had dark circles under them. Her skin was pasty, and he wondered if she had even been outside. She had been out of the hospital for over a week now. Drake kept him updated on her medical condition, so he knew she was healing. It was the psychological aspect of it that concerned him.
“I understand, Alana. People were worried for you and also afraid this could happen again. You could sit at the station with me. I’d even let you beat me at poker,” he teased, aching to see her smile. When they had been friends, she had often brought him Mexican food and hung out with him. He now wished he would have appreciated those times better. Instead he had spent all his time fighting what he was feeling. What a waste of time.
Her lips curled upward into an almost smile. “Again? You’re such a sore loser, always accusing me of cheating.”
She was right. He hated losing. “Okay, you can do all my paperwork for me. Just don’t tell Helen.”
“Mrs. Williams was here earlier, Noah. I wasn’t alone all day. I watched some soap opera with her. She had to cook dinner for Mr. Williams. I shouldn’t need a babysitter.” She sounded like she wanted to cry.
Noah invaded her space by sitting close to her. He patted her thigh gently. He wanted to leave his hand on her, but he didn’t want her to jump in fright.
“Hey. I know you’re strong, Alana, but there is no shame in asking for help either. You have my number. You can call me, and we can talk about the weather if you want. I will gladly sit on the phone all day with you.”
She shrugged but stayed silent. He couldn’t tell what kind of thoughts were going through her head. Normally she was cheerful and chatty, but she sat so silent and still. He didn’t like it.
“Have you had any counseling?”
She shook her head no and looked down at her hands. She was clutching the blanket tightly.
“Kendra Hilton over in Morehead is really good,” he suggested softly. He slowly grabbed her hand and gently rubbed the silky skin. “I can set up an appointment. I can even drive you. It might help.”
“Let me think about it.” Her voice sounded breathless, and he hoped she still felt the same zing he did when they touched.
He nodded, but he didn’t let go of her hand. He liked holding it. He was shocked she wasn’t spitting mad at him and calling him names. Maybe it was because she was in such a vulnerable state, but he wouldn’t remind her he was the enemy.
She cleared her throat. “I took a small nap. I must have been dreaming about him. When I woke up, I remembered he had a tattoo on his wrist.”
Her hand was shaking, so he pulled her until she was sitting close to him. He took the blanket out of her hands and gently put it around her shoulders.
“That’s great. What kind of tattoo?”
“It was black. Some scary-looking skull with the letters JS above it. It didn’t look professional. It was kind of homemade looking.”
“That’s great.” Noah was excited. This could help in identifying him. He didn’t want to stop holding her hand, so he stayed where he was, hoping she wouldn’t pull away.
“How are you doing? I want the truth.” Her head was hanging down, and he brushed a few strands of her dark hair away and put them behind her ear.
She took a deep breath and let it out. “Physically I am doing okay. I am sore but not in any real pain. I know my family is worried. It’s hard, Noah. I close my eyes, and I see him reaching for me. It was so unexpected and terrifying. I have never been this close to violence. Now every noise makes me jump. I hate being such a baby, but I can’t help it.”
Noah felt air leave his lungs. She sounded so sad. He hated it. He wanted to see her smile again.
He hugged her tightly. At first she was tense and rigid, but he felt the moment she gave in and relaxed against him. He kissed her forehead and just held her in silence for a minute. It felt so good to hold her again. He wanted to be the rock she leaned on. Hell, he wanted to be whatever it was she needed to get through this rough patch. Even if she never forgave him.
“Give yourself time, Alana. You were robbed and violently attacked. That is scary. Nothing like that has ever happened here in Red Hook. People are worried and upset for you and your family,” he began slowly.
“I know. I have gotten cards and flowers from half the town. I guess I also feel guilty.” She said it so low he almost didn’t hear her.
He leaned closer. “Why?”
She sighed loudly, but she wouldn’t look at him. “When I was in the hospital and undergoing surgery, I felt so peaceful and warm. I wanted to just let go and never return. Life is painful.”
Noah sucked in his breath and tightened his hold on her, but he stayed silent. She was opening up to her feelings. He wanted to yell and let her know he couldn’t live without her.
“I knew my parents would grieve, but life goes on,” she continued. “I know it’s wrong to give up, but I felt so tired. I’m not sure what made me fight to come back. I woke up and remembered my thoughts. I have felt guilty ever since.”
Now was a good time to make his apology to her. He knew if her family had any say-so, they would never let him get this close to her again.
“I’m glad you didn’t let go, Alana. Your family needs you. I need you. I know life is painful, but it’s also beautiful, too. I made a lot of mistakes with you that I hate myself for. I reacted to my own fears without thinking about what I was doing to you. Even if you don’t want my friendship ever again, let me do my job. Tell me if you’re scared or concerned. I can come and sit with you, or you can come to my house and hang out. Adam and Liam like you. They were so pissed off at me for what I did. It took weeks for them to speak to me.”
He felt her nod her head yes, and he felt a sense of relief. It was a small start, but it was an opening, so he kept talking in a calm voice.
“If you just want to talk about the weather, I’m your guy. If you want to unload your feelings, I’m your guy.”
She looked up at him with a small smile. Her hand moved toward his face, and she rubbed his cheek softly. He placed a small kiss on her palm.
“You shouldn’t be so nice, Noah. I still have a lot of anger bottled up inside over what you did to me.”
A door opened, and Alana jumped in fright. He looked toward the door and saw Ray coming in with a white box in his hands. His smile changed into a scowl as soon as he spotted Noah with Alana.
“Get away from my sister. I’ll kick your ass if you hurt her again!” he yelled.
Noah stood up. If Ray came at him, he didn’t want Alana
hurt. He tensed his body, ready for a fight.
“It’s okay, Ray. I called him,” Alana said, her voice a little shaky. “Please don’t fight.”
Ray glared at him then smiled gently at Alana. He set a white box on the coffee table. “I cooked you chicken enchiladas, and I thought we could watch The Dawn.”
She smiled. It wasn’t the wide, happy grin he associated with her, but it was a small smile. Noah felt a pang of jealousy that it wasn’t for him.
“You’re going to watch a girl movie with me?”
Ray looked pained when he nodded. “You can’t tell anyone. I mean that, Alana.”
Alana smirked and opened the box.
She looked at Noah. “Thank you for coming right away. I’ll think about the counseling. And thank you for what you said. It means a lot to me, Noah.”
Noah leaned down and kissed her cheek. He was pleased when she didn’t flinch. “Night, Lana.”
He walked to the front door, wishing he could stay with her. He heard Ray’s footsteps behind him. When they were out on the porch, Noah waited for Ray to speak first.
Ray folded his arms across his chest. Noah knew Ray was angry, and he didn’t blame him, but he was not going to just walk away quietly. He was here to stay. Ray could beat him up, but he would just come back every day and check up on her.
“Don’t come here leading my sister on again. She doesn’t need your stupid head games, Noah. You have done nothing but hurt her. She loved you, and you stepped on it for some worthless slut.”
Noah closed his eyes. His shoulders and neck felt tense again. “I know you will find this hard to believe, but I regret what I did. I wish I had the power to go back and do things right. I haven’t touched Cora in years. I am not sure I would have kept the date with her even if she hadn’t confronted Alana. All I have done these last six months is search my soul, and I realize what I did was wrong. Losing Alana hurt me, but it guts me more to know what I did to her.”
Ray searched his face but didn’t reply. His anger didn’t seem to lessen, so Noah figured Ray didn’t believe him. He would just have to prove it. He had changed, and it was time to show Alana and her family that. Noah changed the subject. He had to be patient.
He told Ray what Alana remembered. “This is good news. A tattoo will verify his identity.”
“That is great news.” Ray looked less angry now. “I was standing behind her, but I kept my eyes on his face. Besides his blue eyes, nothing stood out. I was trying to see hair color or anything like that. I knew he had a knife, but I thought it was just a scare tactic. I never thought he would hurt her.”
“It’s unusual. He had no valid reason to go for her with the knife,” Noah admitted. “Places are robbed at gunpoint or knifepoint, but when people cooperate, no one gets hurt. It makes me wonder if he was high on drugs. We have had problems with outsiders sleeping on the edge of town. It’s hard to monitor with just the four of us, but I am trying to hire more deputies.”
Noah hesitated on talking about Alana with Ray, but he was worried enough to brush away his hesitation.
“I am concerned more with the emotional side of things. Sitting here all day alone can’t be good for her mental health.”
Ray didn’t get angry. Instead he looked thoughtful. “The first few days we took turns staying with her. Then she insisted we all go back to our normal schedules. I think us hovering over her was annoying. Mom got Mrs. Williams from next door to come and check up on her. Alicia leaves work before it gets dark and stays with her. She says she is not ready to face people’s curiosity yet.”
“I suggested counseling. She said she would think about it,” Noah told him firmly. He waited for Ray to argue, but to his surprise, he didn’t.
Ray agreed. He told Noah he had suggested it, too, but his parents didn’t like the idea of her retelling what had happened to her. They thought it better if she just forgot.
“I’m giving her another week. Then I’ll take her myself. I see how depressed she is, and it bothers me, but I don’t know what to do. She was already like this before the robbery, Noah. She loved you, and you publicly humiliated her by making a date with Cora while you were supposed to be dating her. I know you had no idea what Cora would do, but still it devastated Alana. She worked, but she stopped laughing and smiling. She withdrew into a shell we couldn’t penetrate. This incident hasn’t helped at all.”
“I was a fool.” Noah felt the heavy weight on his chest. The thought of Alana being depressed because of him sent a pain to his chest. “I let my doubts get in the way. I should have done things differently. She is so much younger than me and so different than the women I like to date. I was afraid to trust in what she said she felt.”
Ray sighed, looking torn. “Just don’t mess with her head, Noah. That is all I am asking from you. If you pursue her again, you better make damn sure this is what you want.”
Noah left the Garcia house with a heavy, guilty heart. He had established contact with Alana again. That was a start. He was not giving up on her. Knowing she could have died had scared the shit out of him. His goal was to prove to her and her family that he wasn’t a complete coldhearted bastard, just a foolish one.
Chapter 7
“Alana, you have to come with me,” Alicia pleaded with an exaggerated pout. She even added her puppy dog eyes.
Alana smiled at her younger sister. They were sitting in Alana’s bedroom. She knew it sounded strange for a twenty-four-year-old to live at home, but she worked all the time and didn’t see a need to spend her money on an apartment she would hardly see except for bed. Alana sat cross legged on her bed, flipping through a magazine. The sun was pouring into the room, and Alana wanted to shield her eyes from the brightness. She had had another bad night and had slept only an hour or two total. She kept that to herself. She didn’t want to burden her family. She remembered the fear and sadness she saw in her parents’ eyes when she had woken up at the hospital. Alana was born and raised in Red Hook, and they had never had such a violent experience here. Red Hook was a safe, sleepy town with small petty crimes. One year a bunch of teens had toilet papered the businesses for Halloween and threw eggs at passing cars. There were fights between people, drunk driving, and things like that, but nothing like what happened to her. How had her life become so out of control? When she made the mistake of falling in love with a man who couldn’t be faithful to one woman. That was her burden.
Alicia had her own room across the hall, but she was not giving up on the idea of Alana joining her. Ray lived in an apartment above the restaurant but came by often to check on the girls. He took his role as big brother seriously, too seriously sometimes, but Alana loved him just the same.
“That look only works with Papa.”
“It’s been three weeks since you were released from the hospital, and you haven’t been outside to even get fresh air.” Alicia pouted again. “You’re wilting away into nothingness.”
“I sat in the backyard all day yesterday, sunning,” Alana reminded her sister. She had only done it to make her mom happy, but she had done it. “What if I panic with the large crowds? What will your friends say?”
She was still sore but no longer in pain. Her stitches had come out, but the cut still looked ugly to her eyes and reminded her of what had happened. It was a symbol that this town wasn’t always the safe place she thought it was. Being in a large crowd sounded scary. What if he was there? She wouldn’t even know.
“Who cares what my friends or anyone else says? We won’t stay all night,” Alicia begged. “Tonight is the town’s first night of the summer fest. I want a caramel apple and to ride the Ferris wheel with you, two sisters having fun like before Sheriff Romeo ruined it all.”
Alana didn’t want to think about Noah. He was confusing her. He had come by with her favorite coffee one morning last week after everyone left for work. They sat on the porch talking about nothing specific. He had done most of the talking, and she had let his voice just wash over her and relax her. The br
ight sun had hurt her eyes, and she had been tempted to go back inside where she didn’t feel so vulnerable, but Noah wouldn’t let her. He held her hand tightly and kept on talking.
Two days later he dropped off some library books and even read her a few pages from a steamy romance book until she blushed and grabbed it out of his hands. He had chuckled at her rosy cheeks. Why did he want to be her friend, a person he already rejected as not worthy of his heart? Maybe a night out would clear her head. Her heart still longed for Noah Blake, but she couldn’t handle another problem right now.
She knew she was going to give in to Alicia. She had to start making an effort to do better. Feeling sorry for herself was not helping any. She was tired of the looks of pity and concern coming from her family. She was not going to ruin her sister’s joy, too. Alicia loved the summer festival and never missed it. Alana had always just tagged along to keep an eye on her but always ended up having a good time.
“Okay, fine.” She gave in with a dramatic sigh.
Alicia clapped and cheered. She jumped off the bed with a huge smile.
“What is all the commotion?” Her mom peeked her head into the open bedroom doorway. It was Monday, and the restaurant was closed. Her mom was dressed in casual clothes.
“Alana is going to the festival with me!” Alicia announced happily. Alicia opened Alana’s closet door and started taking clothes out and throwing them on the bed.
Her mom got tears in her eyes but sniffed them away. “That is nice, girls. Be careful out there, okay?”
Alicia rolled her eyes and flipped her short hair over her shoulder. “Mom, please, we are grown women. I did turn twenty-one two months ago.”
“Plus, Ray will be there, too,” Alana added. She knew her brother would go once he heard Alana was venturing out of the house. She just hoped she didn’t have one of her panic attacks. That would be so embarrassing.
Alana’s stomach was too sore for jeans, so she chose a loose-fitting yellow dress with short sleeves and canvas slip-on shoes. She wanted to put a sweater over it, but Alicia refused to let her.
