by Nikki Winter
Words hung on her lips, so many, too many, all fighting for a chance to slip past, get out. All she could manage was, “I’m sorry.”
He swallowed and his lips trembled slightly.
Cree moved and kept moving until she reached him. He flinched away from her touch and nothing hurt more than that but she cupped the back of his neck anyway and brought his forehead down to her own. Everything from the past few weeks rushed up in her mind’s eye and spilled over.
“I love you,”—“I have the power!”—“You need to shift.”—“I’ll hold your hand.”—“All I see is you.”
And then things that she hadn’t seen before filtered in. Things that made the wetness on her lids roll past her lashes. Maddox shifting and running with her panther.—Maddox watching her sleep.—Maddox caressing her lioness.—Maddox carrying her through the woods.—Maddox getting her cleaned up.—Maddox. Maddox. Maddox.
That cry that she’d held back, that shed refused to release, poured from her throat and she clutched onto him as she collapsed. She babbled apologies, begging him not to walk away from her.
“I can’t,” he hoarsely told her, easing them onto the deck. “I couldn’t leave you even if I wanted to. You may not need me, baby but I need you.”
She covered his mouth with hers, rising over his lap to straddle him. Something primal rode her hard and she couldn’t resist finding the drawstring to his pajama bottoms and untying them. His cock sprang free, hot and heavy in her hand as she pumped him, grinding down on his thigh.
“Cree—”
Silencing him with another kiss, she decided not to think about she was doing and to just feel because that was the best thing about what she shared with Maddox. He made her feel so many wonderfully scary things and to deny her love for that would be beyond stupid.
Her robe opened and he palmed her breasts, plucking her nipples as his tongue met the roof of her mouth and stroked over it. He caught her moan and held her hips while he moved her harder over the muscle of his leg. When her breath quickened, he jerked her up and then down onto his length, spearing her.
Cree cried out and bit her knuckles, rolling her hips as he took her hard and fast and without grace. She grasped his shoulders and held on. Sobbing into his neck that she did need him, that she did want him, and that he could never leave her because it would break her.
“Love you too much,” he growled against her temple. “Love you too fucking much.”
As her climax thundered up her spine and seized her breath, she gasped out, “I love you too.”
Fourteen
“No, I’m fine. Honestly. I promise. I’m not lying to you. Jesus Christ, Fal, come off it already. Don’t take that tone with me, you started this shit. He’s okay. No. No. Well…he did go a bit Britney but it was kind of my fault. I said some really mean things. Yes we made up. No, I’m not telling you how. Okay, you really want to know? You really want to know? I had to have splinters dug out of my naked ass.”
Maddox burst out laughing across the room as he hovered over the stove, flipping patties of ground bison.
“Well you asked and I gave you an answer! Don’t care if you’re going blind! Oh well the name calling is just excessive.”
Lips twitching, he watched Cree over his shoulder as she continued bellowing into the phone. It was the first time in days that she hadn’t been withdrawn. It was the first time in days that he could feel their tether stronger than it had been before. He found it a bit ironic that they’d had to blow up at one another to get back to easy contentment but he wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
“Yeah, no. Not yet. We’re going this afternoon.” There was a sigh. “I have no idea but I won’t be alone so,”—she looked towards him and smiled—“I think I have everything I need.”
His chest expanded with a slow even breath. He had to feed the woman. Needed to after the way he’d just about fucked her through the deck. After the first time they hadn’t been able to stop for some reason. Going over and over again until exhaustion finally left them unable to move. It was his fault. The way she’d said “I love you” needed to be heard repeatedly. And it had been. On low moans and harsh growls. It had been murmured against his throat as he pinned her knee to her chest and drove into her. It had been shouted towards the ground as he bent her over and fucked her until she shook. It had been howled up at the sun when she rode him. And yet, he could never get tired of the words.
“Don’t make Ransom crazy alright? Because I know you. I know you. I’ll call him. I swear to God I will. Right now. Don’t test me woman! Oh that was just mean, Fallon Alexandria Wilder. Yes, I full named you. You know what? I’m hanging up now. Yes, I am. Good-day, madam. I said good day!”
Maddox’s shoulders shook.
“And you can just stop laughing, Patches.”
He managed to get a hold of himself.
Soft hands slid around his waist and up to his chest. Cree hugged him from behind, her breasts pressing into his back as she dropped a kiss on his shoulder blade.
“I went Britney?” he quietly asked, turning off the gas range.
She tucked in her lips and affected an innocent stare as he rotated to look down at her. Nodding slightly, she responded, “Circa 2007.”
He drew in a sharp breath. “I would never shave my head. The beauty of my locks couldn’t be tainted in such a manner.”
Cree patted him on the butt. “But I wouldn’t put it past you to start swinging umbrellas.”
“Rude,” he accused. “Really rude.”
She bit him just above his nipple. “Sorry.”
“Naughty skin-walker,” Maddox admonished. “No you’re not.”
“Okay…I’m not.”
He swatted her ass as she walked away.
“Hey! That’s still sensitive!” Much to his amusement, he’d really had to pull splinters out.
“Don’t care,” he retorted, moving the skillet.
“Obviously.”
Maddox’s lips curled at the pout in her voice. He waggled his brows. “Come let Mr. Hinckles make it all better.”
She backed away as he came forward and shook her head with a grin. “No sir.”
“I just want to kiss it.”
“Nope.”
“Don’t be stubborn, Cree. We both know what happens when you’re stubborn.”
The lighthearted silliness they’d come to enjoy had found its way back, taking the hardness away in the midst of Cree’s declaration. His complicated, ornery, self-imprisoned, skin-walker loved him. The woman who’d twisted his nipples until his eyes watered, beat him with random objects and tried to rip his scalp off loved him. Where some would be concerned considering the amount of abuse he’d suffered by her hands, Maddox now understood that she’d shoved him into garbage dumpsters to keep him from managing to get too close. Too bad for her he’d somehow gotten under her skin regardless. He was rather proud of that fact.
“You gonna make me chase you, woman?”
She eased backwards, her lips curling mischievously. “You’d like that wouldn’t you, filthy bear?”
He took steps towards her, loving the way her eyes shined, the glow of her skin. In purposely releasing her, he’d obviously released something else. “What I like is you, Ms. Chayton; along with that expression.”
“What expression?”
“The one that says, for once, you’re okay.”
“Just okay?” Cree queried, allowing him to come close enough that he could grasp her hips with his hands.
Maddox nodded. “I get the feeling that’s all you’ve ever wanted; to be okay.”
Her cool palms brushed over his abdomen. “You’re right.” The look suddenly changed.
He tipped her chin upwards, knowing already where her thoughts had gone. “When we leave here, you’ll still be okay.”
“You promise?” she said softly.
Pulling her into the hug that he knew she needed, he rocked her, running his fingers down her spine soothingly. “I do.”
“Will you be okay?” Her voice was muffled against his chest.
Maddox smiled. “As long as you are.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“Just okay?” he teased, mimicking her words.
Her sigh seemed to bear the weight of both their worlds. “That’s all I’ve got.”
He’d take it.
***
Nothing could’ve been louder to Nasnaana than the SUV tires steadily and slowly rolling across the graveled lane towards her tribe’s land. Amidst the chaos of their day to day routine, all she could hear was the vehicle because she knew what it held.
Looking down at the children resting near her feet, she smiled. “Run along.”
They didn’t argue despite their disappointment at having their story time cut short; they knew not to by now. Up and off they went in different directions as Nasnaana stood from her rocking chair, the one her fourth husband had carved for her. He’d been such a lovely man.
Easing down the walk way, she felt it the moment the elder adults noticed the presence of what they perceived to be strangers on their territory. Enli appeared first with Kuzih following behind her as he always did. The insufferable whelp was weak. Not because he stood behind his mate but because he hid behind his mate, like a puppy afraid to be kicked. Nasnaana could never tolerate weak men—which was why she had so much respect for the large one climbing out of the SUV. Without even looking into his eyes she grasped that he wouldn’t be here with the girl if he couldn’t handle her, wrangle her when she lost her way. It was almost surreal how much the child looked like her mother. So much beauty and grace but there was one integral difference, Cree Chayton was stronger; she was so much stronger.
Cree took the male’s support as they eased around the grill of the Subaru and linked her fingers with his own. He was rather sturdy and reminded Nasnaana of her fifth husband in the way he moved. The grizzly didn’t use his size to intimidate or speak for him but he would if it seemed to be necessary. His aura was bright and passionate, the lines around his eyes and mouth telling of humor and mischief. Ah, so he was like her fifth husband.
“So you were right,” Enli murmured, walking next to her. “The prodigal’s daughter has returned.”
“It would seem so,” Nasnaana answered, eager to get closer, to touch the child and uncover so many things that she’d been dying to know.
“The question is,” Kuzih interjected. “What does she want?”
Nasnaana simply smiled. “Understanding.”
“Of what?”
She stopped and looked to Enli, watching the she-wolf. “Herself.”
“So she’s volatile like her mother then?”
“I could tell you she was no more harmless than a stuffed animal and it wouldn’t matter, Enli. We both know that.”
“Your games put the tribe in jeopardy.”
“What tribe?” Nasnaana queried in a soft tone. “Tribes are built on tradition and honor and values that pull their people in, not push them out. I see no tribe here, even though that’s what we call it in habit, this is nothing more than an assembly of the insolent.”
“And yet you remain,” Kuzih felt the need to point out.
Nasnaana didn’t do him the honor of looking his way when she addressed him. “Because I wanted the child to be able to find me when the time came. Let me make it clear for you, pup. The Great Spirit could wipe this earth clean due to the disobedience and consistent misconduct he witnesses but he doesn’t because he would rather prove a point.”
“And that would be?”
“That you need him,” she retorted without rancor. “Just because he remains silent does not mean he approves.” Nasnaana gave a sharp smile. “You’ll do well to remember that I am the same way.” With those words she turned on her heel and continued towards the silent couple who’d remained in the same position, drinking in their surroundings. One gaze held admiration while the other held dread. She planned to dispel the child of that emotion soon enough.
Stopping before them, she locked gazes with the girl. “I see you’ve finally found your way back home.”
Cree shook her head, dark hair falling like a curtain over her shoulder. “This was never my home, Nasnaana.”
“It was. You just allowed others to take it from you.”
The younger woman’s face tightened. “I was a child.”
“With more power than this earth has witnessed in a quite a long time.”
Swallowing, she looked away.
Nasnaana turned her attention to the silent man by her side who’d watched the exchange without a word. “You’ve discussed what you see in her?”
He didn’t hesitate. “More times than I can count.”
“And somehow, her reflection still shows ugly things,” she murmured; it was more to herself than him.
“I’m standing right here,” Cree snapped.
Chuckling, Nasnaana looked at the boy again. “How long has she been like this?”
He opened his mouth.
“You answer that and the next thing you’ll see is the sky because your back will be kissing dirt,” the girl threatened.
He closed his mouth.
Nasnaana’s laugh was louder this time. “Oh you poor, child. What’ve you gotten yourself into?”
Those enormous shoulders rolled easily. “Something I don’t want to get out of.”
Truer words had never been spoken because she could see the link between them. The way his bright passion melded with the brooding shades of her spirit. So well balanced. It was fascinating.
“Maddox McKenna,” the grizzly announced, holding out one hand.
She took it. “Nasnaana Daniels.” A swarm of images took hold, a majority of them intimate. Her grin was slow. “Cree’s grandmother.”
His head jerked towards the woman at his side. “Excuse me?”
Her eyes closed. “Step great, great, great, great grandmother.”
“You never said…”
“Because the woman has had at least ten husbands and two of them happened to be patriarchs on my mother’s side,” the girl sighed. “I’ve only ever known her as the tribe’s shaman.”
He looked disturbed. “Exactly how old are you, lady?”
“That’s rude,” both women admonished simultaneously.
Rocking back on his heels, Maddox stared down at the toes of his boots. “Sorry.”
“You’ve only ever known me that way because you assumed that I was like Enli in regards to you,” Nasnaana told Cree.
The girl looked ready for a fight. “You didn’t come after me.”
“Would it have made a difference?”
She seemed to reflect for a moment. “No.”
“Do you not have a happy life?”
“Yes.”
“Then why dwell on my choice to leave you be?” Nasnaana asked. “I knew you’d return. I always knew and I understood that it could only be on your terms and no one else’s.”
Cree suddenly couldn’t hold her gaze.
“Come, child,” she commanded. “I also know that you have questions.”
***
So many stares. Cree could feel each and every one as she and Maddox strolled behind Nasnaana. The old woman’s gait belied her age. Everything about her belied her age. Sixteen years and it was as though the shaman had stood still while time moved on.
Her small stature had remained as along with the lineless beauty of her intensely bronzed skin. Her eyes still held that same ridiculous twinkle in their depths. Her dark hair, threaded with silver strands fell in a plait between her shoulder blades. Nasnaana had always been an anomaly to Cree. Appearing neither young nor old but stuck in a limbo of the Great Spirit’s making. She was ageless yet spoke in riddles that had to have come from knowledge far beyond her time. Something in her felt slightly comforted being in her presence although Cree would never say it. Nasnaana hadn’t been judgmental or cruel but she’d always appeared…indifferent.
The weight of a gaze
so malevolent that it caused her to stumble slightly brought Cree’s steps to a stop. She turned her head, searching the crowd of onlookers, who were watching her warily, and halted at the sight of a face that was all too similar to one she’d loved dearly.
“She either leaves or we make her leave. It’s her decision and for her sake, I hope she chooses wisely…”
“Cree?” Maddox prodded softly.
She wouldn’t release her. So much malice, so much hate, all for something she hadn’t had any say or control in. Even after all this time, Enli hadn’t changed. And when the she-wolf’s eyes narrowed slightly, refusing to lower—to back down—Cree knew she never would.
The insult of her defiance seeped past rationale and ease. Like a poison it worked through Cree’s veins and pumped into her heart, turning the muscle sour and angry. She’d done nothing and yet she’d never be forgiven. She’s starved for years on the road by herself, haunted by the nightmares of screams and blood. She’d neglected the safety of herself, so despondent that she hadn’t cared who picked her up and took her across state lines, she just wanted to be gone; she just to forget. Cree had remained trapped in heartbreak and disgust so deep that it was a wonder she’d ever waded out and all because of this woman. All because of the individual who was supposed to protect her. Instead she’d been shunned and outcast, leaving because she felt as though they’d take any excuse to wipe her from their world.
Cree pulled away from Maddox and parted the crowd without saying a word.
Enli’s gaze became defiant as she got closer.
“Were you looking to offer me a greeting, Aunt?” Cree asked, stopping in front of the woman.
The she-wolf—who’d taken the place of her parents in ruling—gave a saccharine smile. “I offer you nothing.”
Brow flicking upwards, Cree tilted her head. “Really? With the way you were staring I thought maybe you’d at least composed a song for my arrival. Can’t say I’m surprised though.” She took a few steps backwards and purposely turned away from the older woman.
