Still, it did him no good to stay there and watch. He gathered up his things and looked up to see Julia coming over to greet him
Her wet hair was pulled back into a pony tail, and she was wearing her weekend jeans and T-shirt, all of which told him that she had been home for some time. This confused him even more. Did she take the afternoon off? That would be way out of character.
When she spoke, her voice was heavy with concern. “Hey, Ron. Are you okay?”
He straightened his shoulders. “I’m fine,” he said. “You’re home early.”
Julia looked around furtively, and Ron followed her eyes. Knitting on her front porch, Mrs. Gouldman looked completely at peace with the world, and that was a sure sign of trouble. She never looked that way unless something was wrong.
Ron’s heart sank as he wondered what else had happened. He thought, there can’t be anything else. I can’t handle anything else.
Instantly, he was ashamed of himself. Was that any way for the man of the house to feel? He couldn’t waste time feeling sorry for himself. What would Dad think?
Just before Dad left for the trip in February, he had told him, “You’re the man around the house while I’m away. Take care of things for me, will you?”
Ron replied, like he always did, “You can count on me, Dad.”
“I know I can, Ron. I know I can.”
Dad always said the same thing when Mom and he went off on trips alone and, every time, Ron felt like he’d grown two inches in height. His dad, who knew how to do everything - except how to screw in a light bulb, if Mom was to be believed - had needed Ron to look after the little kids and keep everyone safe.
Those were the last words Dad said to him. The second to last, actually: the very last had been, “Goodbye, guys!”
Ron could not let his father down. Not for a moment. No matter how tired he got.
Ron was faithful to his promise. He looked after the kids, helped poor Aunt Julia, and always double-checked the locks on the doors of the house after everyone else had gone to bed. He knew that Dad would be proud of him, but not if he started whining now.
It wasn’t as if Dad had been the only one to point out his new responsibilities. Dad’s lawyer, Steven Hall - on the day they were told who was to be their guardian - took advantage of Aunt Julia having to use the ladies’ room to give the orphans some advice.
“This is a new situation for all of you,” he had said. “Your aunt is a capable woman, but she is young and doesn’t have any children of her own. This will be a very difficult experience for her, at least at first, while she is still getting used to everything. We don’t want to make it any harder for her, do we? I hope that you will all do your best to give her as little trouble as possible, and to help her any way you can. Do I have your word?”
They gave it as solemnly as he had asked for it. He seemed relieved as he sat back in his chair.
“I’m sure you’ll be no trouble at all,” he said.
Dana had raised her hand and asked the question that Ron was too reserved to ask: “What would happen? If she doesn’t like us, I mean.”
“Well, I’m sure she likes you. But if she or the courts felt that she was unable to handle the responsibilities, you would be taken somewhere else to live.”
“With Gran and Gramp?” Dana asked a little doubtfully.
“Perhaps. Or maybe with another family.”
“And we’d stay together?” asked Ron, a little more fiercely than he had intended.
Mr. Hall’s answer was slow in coming. “We would certainly try for that.”
It sounded to Ron like a death knell of sorts. The lawyer must have realized this, for he repeated, with a wan smile, that he was sure the children would be no trouble at all. It was at this point that Jack managed to work the cover off of his little jug of milk and fling the contents all about the office. Aunt Julia returned just in time to see them scrambling for the paper towels.
She wasn’t angry with them, though. She only seemed sorry for Mr. Hall, whose attitude changed when she came back in. Dana mentioned this to Ron in private later that day.
“I think he likes Aunt Julia,” she said.
“Oh?” Ron was not very interested in what Dana thought.
“I hope she doesn’t like him.”
“Why not?”
“He smells funny.”
“You’re such a child,” Ron sighed.
“Am not!”
They all agreed that they would give Aunt Julia no reason to complain, and formed a sort of team: Ron was in charge of chores and discipline, Dana was to keep Aunt Julia happy and Jack occupied, and Jack was to avoid being a nuisance.
Their grandparents thought it was too much for Aunt Julia. Every time they came over for dinner, Gran and Gramp Budd would ask about money, health, and business. They tried to insinuate that it was overwhelming Aunt Julia and that they would be better placed somewhere else. Ron always defended her as much as he could, but what frightened him was how quietly Aunt Julia took the abuse. Didn’t she know that the grandparents were trying to take them away?
Once, when he was listening at the top of the stairs, he heard Gran Budd say, “It’s a heavy responsibility, Julia. I hope you know what you’re doing. You know that you have options and you don’t have to be ashamed to consider them.”
Aunt Julia surprised Ron with her sharp, quick answer. “There’s only one option that I’ve ever considered, Miriam, and that is carrying out Amanda’s wishes. She wanted them with me, so they are. We are doing just fine. I don’t regret a single moment and that’s the end of the discussion, all right?”
Gran was angry. Ron could tell from her tone. “You’re being foolish. I’m only trying to look out for my grandchildren, to do what’s best for them.”
“Aren’t we all?” asked Gramp.
Aunt Julia had reluctantly apologized, Gran stiffly accepted it, and the matter was closed for the moment. Ron went to bed a little more secure, but he knew that, if absolute peace wasn’t kept and the household didn’t look like it was being run in pristine condition, the naysayers would return and he might not be able to stop them.
It was a heavy burden sometimes, but Ron couldn’t put it down. The stakes were too high.
Julia was still standing in front of him, looking back at Kehoe.
Ron asked, “Is everything all right? What’s going on?”
She gestured to the Audi. “I’ve decided to let the Audi go. We don’t need three cars and I can get the best price for this one. I’m letting Kehoe make an offer first.”
She put a hand on Ron’s shoulder. He could feel her inquisitive gaze, as though she was silently asking him, “Is this okay with you?”
He wanted to throw the hand off of his shoulder. He wanted to shout at her, “No, it’s not okay! That’s my Dad’s car! My Dad’s car! And you’re just giving it away!”
But he restrained himself. It wasn’t Aunt Julia’s fault that his parents were gone. It wasn’t her fault that bills had to be paid and things had to change. It wasn’t her fault that the only room in the house that she could move into was Mom and Dad’s room. When people died, things changed. People changed. He fought against the changes as hard as he could, for Dana and Jack as much for himself, but they couldn’t fight everything. As the man of the house, he had to appreciate that, grit his teeth, and move on, so that he could handle the other kids when they came home.
He swallowed hard. It wouldn’t be easy. Aunt Julia hadn’t seen the look on Dad’s face when he unwrapped the Audi’s keys on Christmas morning. He had been so excited that he swept Mom up in his arms and gave her one of those movie kisses that always managed to both gross Ron out and make him happy at the same time.
Aunt Julia didn’t know things like that.
She was a bit of a mystery to Ron still. She was hardworking and obviously caring, but s
he didn’t take charge like his mother did. She was very hesitant and so apologetic that it made Ron wanted to shout sometimes. But she did seem to love Dana and Jack and, for that, he was willing to overlook her shortcomings. After all, he couldn’t expect her to be Mom. He wouldn’t have wanted that anyway.
He said, “Kehoe sells cars, so he probably knows what they’re worth.”
She gave his shoulder a grateful squeeze, which he appreciated. He was relieved, though, when she took her hand off of his shoulder. Physical contact was something that he preferred to limit.
She picked up his trumpet case, and they walked the few steps up the driveway.
“How was school?” she asked.
“Long,” he said.
“Worried about the results of the finals?”
“No. Not really.” He thought for a moment and added, truthfully, “But I’ll be glad when it’s over.”
She smiled sympathetically. “I always hated the end of the year. Loved summer, but hated the finals. I don’t know why, though. I was a pretty good student and I wasn’t likely to fail. But I always thought I would. Actually, I was always positive I would and I was always so shocked to find I had done okay. I’m glad I don’t have to go through that anymore.”
For a moment, they were so comfortable that Ron was struck by the idea that, in other circumstances, they might have become very close friends. He was about to confess that he was too anxious to eat breakfast on test mornings, when Kehoe called out to his aunt and took the opportunity away.
“Mind if I take it out for a test drive?” he asked.
Julia stopped mid-step and laughed. “No, but you know perfectly well that it purrs like a kitten, Kehoe. You saw me drive out with it this morning.”
“Ever hear of sawdust, Julia?”
“Okay, okay! Just don’t get into an accident while you’re out.”
Kehoe asked, with a lecherous smile that was intended to be charming, “Why don’t you come with me and make sure that I control myself.”
Ron was annoyed, but to his surprise, Julia hesitated. He could see her calculating the risks in her head and turned to Ron with a pensive look.
“I probably should,” she said. “It’ll only be a few minutes. Do you mind?”
Ron was disappointed. Was Aunt Julia really going to go with Kehoe? A few weeks ago, Mrs. Gouldman had made a casual, but calculated remark to Ron, commenting on how friendly Kehoe and his aunt were getting. She hinted that it wouldn’t surprise her if they started dating or something. The idea was so abhorrent to Ron that it kept him awake long into that night.
“No,” he muttered. “I don’t mind.”
She squeezed his shoulder again, grateful. “I’ll just be a few minutes,” she said. She gave Kehoe a nod. As he turned to go into the house, Ron thought the grease-streaked man almost did a little happy dance.
Aunt Julia called to him, “We have to have a family meeting tonight, okay?” she said. “Just you and me before we talk to the younger two.”
He froze. “Something’s happened.”
“Yes, but…”
A blast from the car horn. Kehoe was impatient.
She waved a hand to silence him and quickly said to Ron, “Everything will be all right. Something has happened, but I need more time to explain. And I’ve got a plan for the summer that I want to tell you about. It’ll be fine. Actually, it’ll be great. We’ll talk about it when I get back. Stay away from Mrs. Gouldman in the meantime, okay?”
She ran over to the Audi passenger door to join the increasingly excited Kehoe. Ron watched him back out of the driveway and take off down the street. With his heart sinking into his stomach, the man of the house turned and went inside.
“We’re moving away?”
Dana Budd’s mouth fell open, and her dinner of chicken fingers, mac and cheese, and string beans was completely forgotten. She looked from Julia to Ron as her wide blue eyes started welling up with tears. “But… But why? Where are we going?”
Julia reached across Jack’s plate and took her hand. Jack, finding this an intrusion, made his displeasure known by dumping a spoonful of ketchup on her arm.
Julia snatched her arm back and wiped the sauce with her napkin, somehow winding up with a blob on her clean white shorts. “Oh, Jack!” she wailed.
“Sorry,” Jack said. He went happily back to smearing mac and cheese and ketchup around his plate in colorful designs.
Ron explain, “We aren’t moving, Dana. We’re just going there for the summer to fix the place up.”
He felt like adding, Shut up, Dana, and eat. We’ll discuss it later, when Aunt Julia isn’t around.
But his sister was not adept at telepathy. In the crush of the last few days of school, and with growing accustomed to the new way of life, Ron thought she’d been slacking in her duties. No doubt it was time to remind her of what might happen should Aunt Julia be unable to provide them a home.
While he was thinking this, however, the conversation moved on.
“Why?” Dana asked, sniffing. “Why can’t we just stay here? I like it here.”
“Well, I like it too, honey,” Julia answered, still swiping at the ketchup on her shorts. “I just thought it would be nice for all of us to have a change of scenery and to get out of the city for a little while. I know that you were all disappointed when I told you we couldn’t do camps this year – well, this will be like going to camp, only longer and with all of us. I think it’ll be fun.” She turned and gasped. “Jack! We do not put cheese or ketchup in our hair.”
“Sor-ry!” he sang in reply.
“But what are we going to do up there?” asked Dana.
“Mom and Dad had an old house in New Hampshire,” Ron explained patiently. “We’re going to go up there to fix it up so we can sell it. Like on one of those reality shows that you like. You know – we’ll be giving it a makeover.”
“But we won’t be just working,” Julia added quickly. “There’s a lake up there for swimming, and a park, and a big yard for you to play in. We’ll have picnics and we can bring all of your bikes and swimsuits and lots of sparklers for the Fourth of July. But no video games or anything like that. I want you guys to run around in the sun and just live it up. It’ll just be a fun, old fashioned sort of summer, you’ll see.”
“But Colleen and I were going to do a lemonade stand together,” Dana protested. “We were going to raise money so that we could buy some cute little puppies.”
Ron saw Aunt Julia’s face fall. Dana had wanted a pet ever since she was six and her desire had only grown with time. Ron knew that Aunt Julia considered pets a luxury that they couldn’t afford, but still he couldn’t help wishing that they could give Dana her way. She was desperate for something to care for, and Jack was getting too big. Surely a pet mouse or a rat wouldn’t be too much to ask.
Julia said, “We’ll be back a few weeks before school starts. You can do your lemonade stand then.”
“But summer will be almost over! Colleen will already have enough money and she won’t want to do it anymore.”
“Well, I’m sorry, Dana, but I think that this is the best idea for all of us right now. I think we need a little time to get away, see someplace new, and get to know each other a little better. I know it doesn’t sound like it’ll be much fun, but I think you’ll be surprised at how fast the time goes by.”
Dana opened her mouth to protest again, but Ron gave her a gentle kick under the table. She stopped, gave him a look of hurt surprise, and closed her mouth again as she folded her arms and sat back in her chair. She was trying not to pout, as Ron had warned against earlier, but the effort was costing her.
Julia didn’t notice. She said, in her usual gentle tone, “We also need some time as a family, to sift through what we need to do next. The past few months have been difficult for all of us, but I think we’ve done very well. Now we
have to take the next step. Since I don’t have to go to work, we can go away for a month or so, on the cheap. We’re going to have to spend very carefully now until I find another job.”
Dana looked at Ron, alarmed. “We don’t have any money?”
Julia was quick to respond. “No, we have money and we are going to be all right. You don’t have to worry about that. But we just may find that we don’t need everything that we have. Like, for instance, the Audi. We decided that we don’t need three cars and so we’re selling that one. That’s not too bad, is it?”
Dana was getting confused, but under Ron’s steady gaze, she was too polite to offer any kind of protest. “No. It isn’t.”
“This is sort of the same thing. If we can fix up the house and sell it, the money will buy me some more time before I absolutely have to get a job. Hopefully, there’ll be enough to put aside some for those summer camps next year. That would be good, wouldn’t it?”
“Yes!” Jack laughed, slapping both palms onto his tray. “Good! Very good!”
Julia smiled. “Good boy, Jack. That’s the spirit. Are you ready for a summer adventure?”
“Yes!” He brought both palms down into the mushy remains of ketchup and cheese.
“Eww, Jack! That’s gross!” Julia cried.
“No, it’s good,” he insisted. He grabbed a handful and shoved it at her. “See?”
“No, thanks, Jack, I’m full. Eat another chicken finger, okay?”
“Okay!” He took the chicken nugget that she offered him and dipped it in his unique mixture.
Then Julia looked at the two older ones. Dana was still leaning back against her chair with her arms folded, while Ron tried to stare her into submission.
“How about you guys?” she asked. “What do you think?”
Dana shifted and Ron nudged her with his foot. She frowned at him, and then turned to Julia.
“I think it’ll be fun,” she said, her tone flat.
“Thank you, Dana. You can bring out the box of cookies from the cupboard now, if you like.” Julia looked at Ron. “And you, Ron? Anything you want to ask me before we go? Anything I should know about?”
Summer Shadows Page 4
