Ares pulled me down into my seat and kissed the back of my hand. “Calm down. You’re getting excited over nothing.”
I took a deep cleansing breath. “Sorry.”
“When will your pack be ready for the first battle?” Hera asked.
I looked at Ares’ smiling as he said, “We’re ready now, but you should begin the preparations of your Sidhe. We need to get word out that we’re looking for a fight.”
Victor smiled. “I’ll spread word of that. I still have some allies who are undercover with my father’s side.”
Hera nodded her head. “Good. I’m sure the vampires will act quickly once they know we have Artemis with us again. I’ll have Hephaistos start on the weapons.”
~~~
Chapter Sixteen
I could feel the full moon hanging above us. Her presence made me itch to run as a wolf with my pack and hunt beneath her soothing and powerful light. I decided then that I would get the pack together and go for a run that night. I didn’t feel right not having run with the halfbreed pack yet. A soft breeze blew around me, swirling cherry blossoms in a soft, soothing whirlwind. Energy from the blossoms seeped into me and filled me with a low level of power. My skin tingled and glowed softly as I absorbed the power and stuffed it down into the imaginary box that I pictured hiding within my soul. I’d been storing power there slowly over the last week, every time I visited the island.
“Artemis?” Achilles called from somewhere within the houses.
“Yes?” I answered, not bothering to move from my spot or raise my voice.
He walked around the house nearest the bridge that crossed to the island. He slowly made his way across the bridge and stopped in front of me. “Ares shouldn’t have showed you this island. You’re spending more time here than with us lately.”
I held open my arms and he sat down, leaning against me and letting me hold him. It wasn’t a common gesture from me to him and he didn’t delay in accepting it. “I’m sorry. I know I need to spend more time with you, but I’ve just needed some time to meditate and think.”
He turned and pulled me into his arms, reversing our position and leaning me against his chest. “It’s alright Sweetheart. I’ve just been worried about you because you’ve been blocking me from your thoughts so deliberately.” He slowly stroked my hair, calming me even more than my meditation had. Gently he titled my chin up and kissed me.
My control slipped the more time I spent touching him. Each additional time I touched him, the more I wanted to give in to him. His hands slid up and down my arms as he kissed me and I could feel the strength in them. My head swam, rendering logical thoughts impossible and allowing my hormones to rage. I turned completely around, wrapping my legs around his sides and sitting on his lap. I fisted my hands in his hair, loving the silky smoothness against my skin and kissed him deeply. He moaned and the sound made me smile and growl happily. He picked me up and then laid me down on the ground. The feel of him lying on top of me was incredible. I had wanted it for so long, but had been denying us both.
Was he as talented as Ares? The thought stopped me cold and dispersed my hormones. I couldn’t cheat on Ares. If I mated with Achilles it would crush Ares. I put my hand on his chest and whispered, “Wait.”
Achilles sighed, stood up and turned away from me. “I wondered how long until you pushed me away.”
The raw pain in his voice hurt me. “Achilles, I’m sorry. I just…”
“Stop, just stop. Please, just leave.”
His voice was so full of anger and pain that I actually flinched and took an involuntary step back. I headed towards the bridge, but stopped at the beginning of it. “I’m sorry I can’t love you like you deserve, but know that I do love you. If I could release you from our binding so you could find a woman that loved you, I would.”
He didn’t move or acknowledge me so I left him alone. The calm I’d gained was replaced by a depression and despair that soured my mood. If my life had been a cartoon, a storm cloud would be hovering over my head raining on me. I ignored the Sidhe watching me walk through the town and towards the training grounds. Let them look. Let them talk. I didn’t care.
Koda and Ares smiled at me from where they were fighting as I walked onto the grassy training ground. For the first time I ignored them, not returning their smiles and walked to a deserted corner of the field as far away from everyone else as I could. I needed to release this anger and despair. I needed release from the pain.
I inhaled, pulling my fire from my core and covered my hands in it. I could feel Ares walking closer to me, but I ignored him and his presence. I tilted my head up to look at the sky and raised my hands up over my head.
I had been making headway with Achilles. I’d been able to make him smile daily, even without mating with him. And with one word, one touch, I’d erased all of that.
I always screwed things up. I hurt Ares. I hurt Achilles. I even hurt Koda. All I wanted was to please them and I failed miserably at it. The anger and pain I felt grew unbearable. Tears streamed down my face and pain gripped my body. I closed my eyes and pictured each of their faces and the times that I’d hurt them. I took another deep breath and then screamed as I shot fire up into the air. The force of the power I was using, the pain I was feeling and the sadness sent me to my knees. I sobbed uncontrollably as I released it all and screamed and cried.
I reigned in the power and dropped my hands to the ground, continuing to sob. Warm arms wrapped around me and pulled me against an even warmer body. “It’s alright, Darlin’. It’s going to be alright,” whispered Koda.
I buried my face into his chest and snuggled into him as I continued to cry. “I’m always failing. I fail at being a woman. I fail at being a mate. I fail at being a pack mate. I fail at all of the relationships around me. How can anyone think that I won’t fail at this prophecy that supposedly surrounds me?”
Ares squatted down in front of me. “What happened, Artemis? What made you feel this way?”
I turned away from him and whispered, “I’ve hurt you all. I’ve hurt all three of you. All I want to do is love you and make you happy and I can’t even do that.”
“You do make us happy. The sight of your face makes us happier than we have been in a hundred years,” whispered Koda.
I shook my head. “I’m continually causing you pain by a wrong word or a wrong decision. I can’t seem to do anything right.”
“Life is all about learning from your mistakes. You think I’m perfect? You sure as hell know Ares isn’t perfect,” Koda said as he rubbed my back slowly.
“Hey,” Ares protested. He reached forward and touched my arm. “We all make mistakes. The defining factor is how you handle the mistakes and what you do to try not to make them again.”
“How can I not make a mistake when the choice will hurt one person no matter what?” I whispered.
“This is about Achilles, isn’t it?” Ares asked. I didn’t respond which was answer enough for him. “I know it’s hard and I wish there was a way I could fix it for you, but I can’t. I’d be lying if I told you it wouldn’t bother me if you mated with him and I won’t lie to you.”
“What’s going on?” Achilles asked with pain still evident in his voice. Why hadn’t I felt him approach or even heard him approach? It was odd that I hadn’t been able to at least feel him when he was so close.
I stood up and brushed myself off. “Nothing.” I walked away from them all and towards Erebos who was sparing with Theseus. “Greetings, Erebos,” I said as I smiled at him.
He smiled at me. “Greetings, Artemis. How may I help you this day?”
“Could you teach me some advanced magic techniques?” I asked.
Erebos blinked twice in surprise and then said, “I’m not sure that I can teach you anything. You know quite a bit more than me actually.”
“I know witch magic and the magic I picked up, but I don’t know much Sidhe magic,” I answered.
He rubbed his chin a moment and then said, “Well,
I could teach you a few of my special talents and some of the nature magic. It might be better if we had a few Sidhe who each possessed different abilities.”
“Whatever you think is best.”
He smiled. “I’ll round up some Sidhe and meet you back here after lunch. Is that okay?”
“Thank you.” I said with a smile.
Theseus touched my arm gently as I went to turn around. “Are you alright?” he asked softly.
I patted his hand reassuringly. “I’ll be fine. Eventually.”
He wanted to say something else, I could tell, but I walked away before he could. I could feel Ares, Achilles and Koda watching me, but I ignored them. I needed to be away from them for a while. I walked to a halfbreed and a full werewolf sparring with each other. “Mind if I join?” I asked them.
They turned and bowed to me. “Princess,” they said at the same time.
I waved my hand dismissively at them. “Call me Artemis. We’re pack members so there’s no reason we can’t be on a first name basis.”
The male werewolf on the left was quite possibly the tallest man I’d ever met. His body was corded with muscle and if I hadn’t heard him speak just now I would have thought he could only scream at people. He did have bright green eyes that showed intelligence though and he looked older than the most of the others. “I’m Thor.”
I swallowed my laugh and asked, “And how old are you, Thor?”
He frowned a moment in concentration and then turned to Ares who was standing across the field watching us. “How long ago did we meet?”
Ares looked down at the ground as he thought. “We met around eight hundred Anno Domini I believe.”
Thor nodded his head, turning back to me. “So then I am around seventeen hundred years old.” He frowned a moment and then nodded again. “Yes, that sounds about right.”
I turned and looked at Ares, wanting to ask how old he was since he was older than Thor, but then remembered I was trying to ignore them. I turned back to Thor. “Well, then I shouldn’t be a problem against you.” I looked up his massive frame. “Not that I thought I could beat you physically anyways.”
The halfbreed was a woman who looked no older than twenty, but the looks she gave me made me think she was much wiser than me. “What’s your name?” I asked.
She smiled. “I’m Daisy Mae,” she said with a thick Southern accent. “It’s a pleasure meeting you.”
I shook her extended hand and smiled sweetly at her. “I love your accent. It’s a pleasure meeting you too.”
“Why aren’t you just the sweetest thing ever?! How old are you?” she asked.
“I’m one hundred and eighteen,” I replied. “And how old are you?”
“Only twenty nine,” she said with the sweetest smile on her face. “I’m one of Koda’s daughters.”
I stepped forward and hugged her. “Well then this is a more appropriate way to greet you.”
She laughed and squeezed me tight before letting me step back. “I’ve heard so much about you. I am so happy I finally got to meet and talk with you.”
I didn’t want to be rude, but I wasn’t exactly in the mood to socialize. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Daisy Mae.” I turned to Thor. “So, how about that fight?”
Thor sized me up, looking from the top of my head to my toes. “You sure?”
I smiled, but it came out more as a baring of teeth. “Yes.”
He smiled at me, apparently pleased at my reaction. “What are the ground rules?”
“No half-shifts, I don’t need you bigger than you already are. Magic is permitted, but no lethal kinds. This is just a match for fun and to hone my skills.”
Thor smiled wide, his teeth lengthening as he did. “Sounds fun. How about we start in full shift?”
I stripped my shirt off over my head and tossed it to Daisy Mae. “Sounds good.” I pulled my bra, pants and panties off and gave them to Daisy Mae too and then dropped to my hands and knees as I shifted. The shift was smooth and pain free, but moving into my wolf form brought forth the feelings I’d suppressed. I clenched my teeth together as I fought the rage that tried to surface.
Thor yipped at me and I turned to face him. He was almost as big as Ares, but still slightly shorter. A fight between the two of them could be catastrophic. I wagged my tail to show him I was fine and then crouched down and began circling him.
He circled with me with slow, graceful movements. I had no idea how an animal as big as he, could be graceful while I was such a klutz. He sprang at me and I rolled to the right, spinning around and snapping at his flank, but he dodged before I could get him.
He was good. Fast and agile. I was incredibly outmatched. If this had been a real battle a smart wolf would roll on her back and beg for mercy. This wasn’t a real battle though and I wasn’t particularly that smart. I charged forward, straight for his face and then slid underneath him, snapping my jaws around his forepaw. He yipped in pain and then spun around to attack me. I backed out from under his body, releasing his leg and danced around him.
You’re good, but you’re too slow. He said to me.
I lifted my lips in a snarl and smile. Then why haven’t you caught me yet?
He lunged forward, his teeth flashing just to the right of my neck as I darted under his front legs and out the side. I knew he wasn’t trying his hardest and it was only a matter of time before he caught me, but I would make him work to catch me.
He darted forward and I barely had time to run away. I ran around him and bit his tail. He growled angrily and before I could get away, jumped on top of me, pinning me to the ground.
This is cheating! I yelled indignantly. A real wolf would never fight like this!
Ah, but we are not real wolves, are we? I struggled underneath him, trying to get away, but he held me down. Do you give up?
NEVER! I yelled just before I whined.
“Step off of my mate, Thor,” Ares said in a menacing tone from nearby. I couldn’t see him since Thor was pinning my head to the ground with his neck.
I growled at Ares to butt out, but Thor stood up off of me. You don’t have to listen to him.
Thor shook his head. He is beta. I have to listen to him.
I exhaled. Sorry.
Thor nudged my shoulder with his nose. Did I hurt you?
No. Just irritated that he stepped in when you weren’t hurting me.
It’s his place to protect you. He heard you whine and therefore thought I might be hurting you. He knows I would never purposefully harm you, but accidents do happen. What would you like to do now?
I shifted forms and took my clothes from Daisy Mae. “I think I’ll go take a bath. Thank you for sparring with me. I look forward to sparring with you further in human form soon.”
Thor bowed his wolf head and trotted over to his clothes.
“Are you hurt?” Ares asked from behind me.
I finished zipping my pants up and walked away, ignoring him. I shouldn’t be mad at Ares, but I just wanted some time without them hovering over me. I couldn’t even play fight with a member of the pack without him intervening.
My body was surprisingly sore so instead of walking I teleported from the training grounds into Achilles’ room. The room was thankfully empty and the wall where the vampires had attacked years before was blessedly fixed. I stripped my clothes off and started the water for the bathtub.
I was standing outside of the tub watching it fill up when I felt him behind me. “You know I can sense you so why bother sneaking up?”
“I’m concerned for you and I wasn’t sneaking, I was just being quiet,” Ares answered.
I stayed in my position, not facing him even though I needed his touch. I needed a bath and time to process my feelings as well though.
“Achilles told me what happened,” he said softly.
There had been no inflection in his voice. So either he was hiding what he was feeling or he wanted me to ask. Do I give in and ask or do I stand here silently?
I blew
out air through my nose and gave in. It wasn’t Ares’ fault I was in a predicament. “And?”
“I understand why you’re so upset now. It must have taken a lot to refuse him once you got that far. What made you do it?”
“You,” I whispered as tears leaked out of my eyes silently. “I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you. Yet all I did was hurt Achilles.”
Ares stepped in front of me, blocking my view of the tub with his chest. “I can’t make this decision for you, Artemis. I don’t know what the right answer is or what I should tell you to do. I love you and I’m a very jealous man. I don’t want to share you, but at the same time I don’t like seeing you or Achilles in pain.”
I looked up into his face and saw the anger and pain twisting his handsome features. “You’re my mate, my passt genau. How can I cheat on the only man that’s ever given me a home?”
“He is your mate and passt genau as well.”
I shook my head. “He’s not my passt genau. You know it and I know it and Achilles knows it. I may be his destined mate because I released his powers, but that is different than the connection we have. I feel Achilles in my heart and my head, but I feel you in my bones and my soul. You may both share my heart, but only you have my soul.”
Before I could wrap my arms around Ares, he squashed me in a hug, bruising my lips with his intense kiss. In two seconds my despair evaporated and the love Ares felt for me seeped in to lift my mood. He pulled back and wiped my eyes. “I love you, Artemis Lupine. I just wish I could fix this. I wish there were a way to make us all happy.”
“If you let her mate with me that would help,” Achilles said angrily from the bathroom doorway.
“How long have you been there?” I asked in shock. And why hadn’t I felt him arrive for the second time in less than an hour?
“Perhaps because you were too busy with Ares’ tongue in your mouth,” Achilles replied tautly.
I jerked at his hostility. “Achilles.”
He rubbed his face and then slammed his fist into the wall. “I’m sorry, Artemis. This pain is eating me up. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. All I can think about is you and the bond we have yet to complete.”
Healed by Fire Artemis Lupine 3 Page 12
