“Mona, you can’t tell anyone about this,” Leo said. “You can’t!”
“Chill, brother. I’m not going to tell anyone,” Mona’s voice was sly. “Though, hey, I could use a loan.”
“Are you joking right now? You’re trying to blackmail me?”
“Why not? I hear Jess was an expert at it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure. You don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t know what I’m talking about, and there’s five hundred dollars that doesn’t know how it got into my wallet. How’s that sound?”
“You don’t really need the money, do you?” Leo sounded frustrated. “You just enjoy torturing me.”
“Maybe,” Mona said.
“Do what you like,” Leo said. “Blab if you want to. There’s plenty of secrets I could tell about you, you know.”
“There now, brother. Don’t be so touchy,” Mona laughed. “You’re downright cute sometimes. I won’t breathe a word to anyone. After all, I don’t want my darling brother in jail, do I?”
Leo stalked off angrily, leaving Mona laughing behind him.
From her position hidden in the woods, Dani watched them go with wide eyes.
*****
Chapter 11
A Bad Mom
Excited about what she’d overheard and confused about whether she should talk to Leo herself or rat him out to the sheriff, Dani found herself thinking about the incident in the woods even as she entered the hospital room to greet her father.
Once she saw her father, however, everything else was driven out of her mind. He wasn’t a very big man, if anything, he was rather short at 5’5”. But the impression her father had always given people was of being larger than life. If it wasn’t his loud tie-dye shirts, it was his booming voice or his electric grin.
Now, he lay hooked up to beeping machines, dwarfed by the blankets tucking him in. His eyes looked dull as he stared out of the window.
“Surprise!” Dani said, trying to inject some good cheer into him. “I know you don’t like flowers, Dad, so I went into town and bought you the most lurid T-shirt I could find!” She raised it up to show him - purple and yellow stripes with neon stars stuck on the chest. “Like it? It should fit right into your collection!”
“Thanks, Dani.” He made an effort, trying to look enthusiastic, but quickly moved the T-shirt aside.
“Cheer up, Dad,” Dani said. “We found Caro, and we’re all a big happy family again.”
“Sure, we are, except Caro is arrested,” he said with a sigh. “I want to get out of here, but Martin insists I should wait a day. And Sharon isn’t giving me a choice.”
He wasn’t supposed to know about Caro’s arrest. Dani looked at Sharon, who was standing by the window, sipping from a can of coke.
“I tried to hide Caro’s arrest from him,” Sharon said. “But the nurses gossiped. So he knows.”
“Oh, Dad.” Dani sank down to her knees beside the bed. “Don’t worry, alright? We’ll get her out of there. I’m sure we will.”
“We will. Because she’s innocent of course,” her father said. “It’s just that this is an awful mess. And the law can make mistakes sometimes. I’ve heard of people being convicted and spending twenty years in jail before being freed.”
“That won’t happen to Caro!” Sharon exclaimed. “I’ve got her the best lawyer we could afford, Dad. She’s going to be out on bail by tomorrow so don’t worry, ok? This will soon be forgotten, all of it, and you need to stay relaxed to stay healthy.”
“I know I do,” he said. “I just can’t help worrying about her. You and Dani were always your mother’s daughters. But Caro and I had a special bond from day one, you know.” His medication was making him sleepy and his words were blurry. “You and Dani are tough girls. I can rely on you to take whatever lemons life hands you. But Caro is so sensitive. I don’t know how she must feel about all this. And Jess was her best friend, wasn’t she? Oh, Caro…”
Sharon gave a helpless look at their father and turned to Dani. Dani could see that her sister was burning up inside, frustrated at having to stand by and watch while the two people she was closest to suffered. Sharon moved to her father and put a hand on his forehead tenderly.
“I love Caro just as much as you do, Dad. Believe me, I’ll never let any harm happen to her. I’ll protect her even if…” She trailed off as Dani gave her a startled look. “I’ll protect her no matter what,” Sharon ended. “You have my word.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.” Dani said, seeing that their father had fallen asleep. “Sharon? I don’t like that look in your eye.”
The last time Dani had seen Sharon look like that had been in third grade. Dani had a homeroom teacher who had taken an instant dislike to her. Dani never quite found out why the teacher disliked her so much, perhaps she saw something in Dani’s colorful personality that she wished to stamp out.
One day, Dani had come home crying.
“What happened?” Sharon, who was only five years older, had asked.
“She took my colored pencils,” Dani sniffed. “She took them away! I bought them with my own money selling lemonade, you know! She told me I’d never do anything good with my life and that I can’t draw anyway.”
“We should tell mom and dad,” Caro had said.
“No,” Dani had sniffed. “She’s probably right. Besides, I shouldn’t have been showing them off to my friend during class.”
Sharon’s eyes had narrowed and got that glint in them. The glint of an obedient girl who was about to break some rules.
The next day, the school was abuzz. Somebody had broken into the teacher’s desk and poured coca cola all over it. The contents of the desk were now a soggy mess.
That night, Dani had found her beloved color pencils stuffed under her pillow. Sharon hadn’t admitted her guilt to her, but Dani had known by the satisfied gleam in her eye that she was the one responsible.
It occurred to Dani now that Sharon was the kind of person who would go to extremes when it came to protecting those that she loved. If it only benefitted herself, she would never act selfishly, or break even the most informal of rules. But if someone was treating her sisters unfairly, then all bets were off.
Dani wondered just how much Sharon knew about Jessica’s fight with Caroline.
“So I need to get back to work. Dad seemed to perk up a bit when you came over,” Sharon said. “So are you alright staying the night in the hospital? Martin might drop in to check on you, too.”
“How is he dealing with Caro’s arrest?” Dani asked.
“He’s sticking by her,” Sharon said with a smile. “He’s a good choice, that man. Stable, loving and responsible.”
“A better choice than Leo?” Dani asked.
Sharon’s eyebrows shot up so high they nearly vanished into her hairline. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Dani shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Spit it out, kiddo.”
Dani smiled. “You haven’t called me that in a long time. In fact, you haven’t called me in a long time, period.”
Sharon shrugged.
“Caro wasn’t the only one who was friends with Jess. You were friends with her too, right? You were planning Caro’s bachelorette together. You two were practically sharing the maid of honor title.”
“She was a nice enough girl,” Sharon shrugged. “I wasn’t her biggest fan or anything. If you’re asking, I agreed completely when Caro chose to write her out of the wedding. She was being really obnoxious. It wasn’t right to talk to Martin the way she did.”
“So you didn’t like her much?” Dani asked.
“Why are you interrogating me?” Sharon’s voice was sharp.
“I’m not.”
“Look, Dani, don’t try and do anything stupid, alright. Things are hard enough without you messing around. Caro will be out on bail soon, and if we’re lucky we can get them to drop the case altogether.”
“Well, if
Caro didn’t murder Jess, who did?” Dani asked.
“If Caro didn’t murder Jess?” Sharon looked at her incredulously. “She’s our sister! How can you doubt her?”
“I’m not doubting her, but…”
“But you think maybe Caro’s like our mom, is that it?” Sharon’s eyes were sparking with anger now. “You think the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“I’m not saying any of that,” Dani said. “Sharon, what’s wrong with you? You’ve given me the silent treatment for years and I wasn’t very good at keeping in touch, either, so I thought maybe some of that was my fault. But, ever since I’ve come back, you’ve done nothing but act like I’m your mortal enemy. I’m not. I’m your sister. Why do you hate me so much?”
“You know perfectly well why,” Sharon said, a bitter note in her voice. “You really want me to come out and say it, Dani?”
“I do, actually,” Dani said.
“Please.” Sharon turned in a huff and walked out of the room. Unwilling to let her go, Dani raced after her.
“Sharon, wait!”
“Stop following me and don’t you dare make a scene!” Sharon slowed down enough for Dani to grab her by the elbow and then, with frozen smiles on their faces, Dani propelled her through the hallway until they were in the parking lot, heading toward Sharon’s car.
“Can we finally talk?” Dani asked.
“If you want,” Sharon said. “I’m not really interested in what you have to say. I was just trying to be polite to you, Dani. God knows we both need each other right now. This family needs us. But no. You just want to get dramatic and bring up the past.”
“You’re trying to be civil to me, but you hate me and I can see it every time you look at me,” Dani said. “It was easy to escape that when I wasn’t physically in town but, now that I am… it hurts, Sharon. I don’t know what I did to deserve it.”
“Yes, you do know! You do!”
Sharon unlocked her car and opened the door.
“Let’s talk it out, can’t we?”
“Fine,” Sharon said. “You want to talk about it, we will. I know. I know that you overheard mom talking on the phone. You knew she had an affair with someone. You knew, Dani. But you didn’t tell us. None of us!”
Dani froze. So that was it. She’d been right. This was why Sharon hated her.
“How-how did you find out?” she asked, not bothering to deny it.
“Does it matter?” Sharon sighed, rubbing a thumb across her temple in a familiar gesture. “Never mind why you did it, never mind that your silence probably doomed us. If you’d only told Dad about it, maybe… maybe things would be completely different.”
“Do you really think so?” Dani asked.
“I do,” Sharon said. “You know, maybe if you’d told Dad, he would have confronted mom. Maybe it would have stopped her from doing what she did. Maybe they would have gone into therapy or something. Maybe the entire nightmare would never have happened!”
“It’s not my fault,” Dani said. “It’s not my fault she did what she did.”
“No,” Sharon said. “But I can’t forgive the fact that you knew, and for two whole days, you didn’t tell any of us. Even now, you never told us, only the sheriff. Dad still doesn’t know.”
“Wait, I never told anyone else that I knew,” Dani said. “So how did you find out?”
“Jess told me,” Sharon said.
“Jess?” Of all the things Sharon could have said, this surprised Dani the most. “What did Jess know about it? How did Jess know about it?”
“Does it matter? How could you, Dani? Why didn’t you come to me? Why didn’t you tell me what you heard?”
“Sharon…” Dani didn’t know what to say. She felt a twinge of grief as she thought about the teenager she’d been, confused and angry.
“I would have helped,” Sharon said. “Or Dad or Caro. We would all have gotten together and confronted Mom. Whoever that man was, he clearly brainwashed her. The mom I knew and loved would never have done what she did.”
“The mom you knew and loved was a fake,” Dani said. “She was lying all along, alright? She never loved any of us and she betrayed us when it was convenient.”
“She could be out there somewhere, even now,” Sharon said. “Don’t you want to meet her again?”
“No!” Dani exclaimed. “Never! Are you kidding me? After the way she treated Dad? After the way she treated us? She’s a thief, Sharon!”
“She’s our mother,” Sharon said. “I wish there was some way I could talk to her, just once. I felt so cold and alone after she left. Why didn’t she at least leave a note behind? Why didn’t she call us, just once, after all these years?”
“Simplest explanation? Because she didn’t love us,” Dani’s voice was rough with anger. “It took me ten years of asking the same questions you’re asking, Sharon. And, each time I asked myself how mom could do that, I’d answer myself with the truth. The truth is that she was a bad person. Case closed.”
“What if it isn’t that simple?” Sharon asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Did you ever consider that maybe she was innocent?” Sharon asked. “What if whoever was on the line that day was forcing her to do something she didn’t want to do?”
“Sharon,” Dani sighed. She couldn’t believe that her sister could be so blind.
After the scandal, after their mother had vanished, Dani had thought she would break into two pieces. The betrayal was so huge that her entire reality had been turned upside down. She’d coped the only way she knew - by working hard, and by being brutally truthful. Each time she’d cried and asked “why” to an uncaring void, Dani had replied to herself, “Because sometimes, people are bad, and the world doesn’t work the way you want it to.” She’d drilled that thought into herself the way a monk drills down mantras. Her. Mother. Was. Bad. She’d betrayed the family, she’d betrayed them all, and she might as well be dead.
Eventually, after enough repetitions, the betrayal and sorrow had turned into a profound hatred. The hatred was part of what had spurred Dani to run away from Innocence, and bury herself in work. Funnily enough, the darker her hate, the more her photos would reflect light. It was as if from some depth of her soul, a part of her wanted to embrace more cheerful things.
So she had become somewhat famous within photography circles for the soft-focus portraits and polaroid photos she created. Photos in which ordinary people could look like stunningly beautiful fairy tale creatures, just by blurring out their imperfections. This was how Dani herself wished she could see people - through a haze of love that made them perfect.
In real life, though, Dani made sure that she always remembered imperfections. She’d been blind to her mother’s and she had paid dearly for it. She’d never be blind again.
So it surprised her now that Sharon could still hold on to hope, all these years later. Sharon must have seen her thoughts reflected on her face, too, because she said, “You’re so bitter now, Dani.”
“Am I?”
“You have been since mom left, haven’t you?” Sharon asked. She sighed. It felt as though just by saying the words aloud, her anger at Dani had evaporated. Yes, she had been angry at Dani since she found out about the conversation Dani had overheard between their mother and a random stranger. But now that she really thought about it, Dani had only been eighteen, a confused teenager who probably had just frozen in shock until it was too late. No wonder she never wanted to admit it to the rest of their family. But Sharon couldn’t help but wish she had a way to go back and change the way it happened.
“You can’t change the past,” Dani said. “You can’t change reality either. Reality is, mom was a bad woman. Fine. So what? A lot of mothers are, across the world. Some are a lot worse than she was. At least while she lived with us, she was kind. But you and Dad both keep holding on to this image of her as an angel, and saying things like ‘she couldn’t have done it.’ Well, she did. Get over it.” Her eyes filled wit
h tears, and although she was trying to be rough, the last words came out in a choke.
“You’re right.” Sharon leaned over and hugged Dani. “I’m sorry I was mad at you. It wasn’t your fault. If mom stole money and ran away, that’s on her.”
“You mean that?” Dani looked up, blinking. “You really mean that?”
“I don’t know,” Sharon said. “To be honest, I spent most of the last ten years trying my hardest not to think about it. I suppose that’s why I had so much anger in me when Jess told me about you hearing the conversation. I guess it all came out on you instead of mom, in a twisted way. See, until Jess told me about that, in my heart of hearts, I still believed that maybe mom would come back someday, that maybe she hadn’t run away.”
Dani hugged Sharon back, trying to squeeze out her grief, and replace it with the uneasy peace she herself had somehow negotiated her heart into taking.
“Alright,” Sharon sniffed, dabbing at her eyes. “My make up is ruined.”
“Oh, shut up,” Dani said with a laugh, rubbing her eyes and noting how red her nose had become. “Hey, you never did tell me how Jess found out.”
“Oh,” Sharon frowned. “Yeah. Weird thing. This was about a year ago, back when Jess was still working as a secretary down at the PD. I think she stumbled onto some old case files, and read about your conversation.”
“Why would she do that?” Dani frowned. “Why would she care about mom’s conversation?”
Sharon’s eyes brightened with hope. “Do you think that could possibly be connected with Jess’ murder, Dani? Like maybe she found something and someone didn’t want her to reveal it?”
“I don’t think so,” Dani said. “In fact, I hope not.”
“Why?”
“Because if Jess had discovered something about Mom’s case, then the mysterious somebody who didn’t want it revealed can only be from our family. Which means it’s just another mark against Caroline.”
*****
Chapter 12
Caro Is Released
Sharon and Dani hugged Caroline as Darwin let her out of her cell.
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