by Aceves, Gigi
I close my eyes savoring his words, but mentally computing what nineteen hundred hours is. Once I realized I have four hours until all the licking, kissing, and worshipping will commence, butterflies make a ruckus in my belly and my toes curl in anticipation.
“I would love that.”
“I love you, Tami Alessandra Mancini. Right here on this spot a year from now, a little princess or prince will be part of the story of us. I know it, because right here . . .” He reaches for my hand and places it gently against his chest. “ . . . my heart believes it. I’ve learned it because of you. I’ve grown to trust it because of Dominic, and I’ve seen it because of Nick. Dream with me that we’ll fill our home with little angels just like you, but more than anything, I’d like you to believe with me.”
He slams his lips against mine as he transfers all of his dreams and beliefs to my open and accepting heart. A heart that’s now filled with hope, healed by love, and steeled by faith.
Life isn’t over for us, so our story goes on. We’re going to travel this road with many more seasons of laughter, season of tears, of life, of death, and a season of hope. To some, the journey we just travelled after losing Dominic should have been a road never taken again, I say let your heart move . . . let it move until—until it’s done.
THE END
FEBRUARY 18, 2015, 1:30 PM PACIFIC TIME
WHEN I STARTED WRITING THIS book, I had two endings in mind. My crazy brain was set on having two HEA’s for Brian and Tami’s journey. Then someone, whose name I will not mention, asked me a question that caused me to rethink their journey. That someone will remain unnamed. . . . moving along. (Cue in Angie’s laughter—she laughs every time I say that)
The question posed was (10:30 pm/February 17th): “How can you end it like that?” “What was your pick?” “How are you going to tie it up leading to the next book?”
I twiddled my thumbs, tossed and turned while smelling my hubs dragon breath, listened to Spotify, and was itching to call Angie at 12:30 am my time, which would be 3:30 am her time. I would have, but my conscience spoke and said, “Have pity on the girl. She’s probably just finished doing Fifty Shades with her hubs..” . . . again moving along.
On our daily morning huddle, I asked Angie, “Should I make my own ending?” That question resulted in a two hour convo. Of course, in between, we were talking about life and such, to the point I think she developed a headache and I had the munchies.
So, I also called Ana Winegar and asked her. She said, “Just add an ‘author’s note’ or something.” I told Ana I couldn’t pick an ending because in my crazy brain that’s where my mind took me. She told me her pick, and I marinated on it for a while until I had to jump into the shower. Again, moving along.
Drumroll please . . . . . . .
I will leave you guys with Brian and Tami’s dialogues, which are technically my dialogues since I wrote them, and because they’re characters residing in my brain. . . . okay, okay. . . . .moving along.
“I love you, Tami Alessandra Mancini. Right here on this spot a year from now, a little princess or prince will be part of the story of us. I know it, because right here . . .” He reaches for my hand and places it gently against his chest. “ . . . my heart believes it. I’ve learned it because of you. I’ve grown to trust it because of Dominic, and I’ve seen it because of Nick. Dream with me that we’ll fill our home with little angels just like you, but more than anything, I’d like you to believe with me.”
~Brian~
This line touched my heart because in life we need to lose, hurt, give up, let go of someone, an idea, an object, and a desire to understand the meaning of “love.” I did when my husband was diagnosed twice with Cancer. I was hurt, I felt as though I were about to lose someone I loved in the truest sense of the word and the most sacrificial of ways. I gave up on a lot of things, and I learned to let go of my fears. But looking back now, I realize that in my own hurts/fears I learned, trusted, and saw the power of Him who saved my husband.
“Life isn’t over for us, so our story goes on. We’re going to travel this road with many more seasons of laughter, season of tears, of life, of death, and a season of hope. To some, the journey we just travelled after losing Dominic should have been a road never taken again, I say let your heart move . . . let it move until—until it’s done.”
~Tami~
Since I asked my readers to pick a fork, I too must pick one. This process was very hard for me because I see the happy ending in both forks. The natural ending of Brian and Tami’s baby surviving is beautiful. Yes, this is the perfect ending; however, for THIS couple at THIS time, I chose the ending where they adopt Nick. Of all of the couples in our group, Brian and Tami are the ones that have the capacity to open their hearts and love a child that isn’t biologically theirs. Their past miscarriage and the loss of Dominic taught Tami the very thing she was trying to teach Brian. Brian’s weakness became Tami’s and Tami’s strength became Brian’s. Both characters coming full circle in their growth. Together as a couple they were able to allow their hearts to move to love Nick in the most unconditional of ways. The capacity to love a stranger became so much more. I learned from that more—that love can still be found, and it does exist even in the darkest of times.
ROXY
“LOVE. . . .” I CALL OUT TO Cody in a very calm manner.
“Hmmm. . . . love. . . . no means no!” He answers in his sleep without facing my way.
How can this happen to me? My husband thinks I want some action instead of being alarmed that I’m waking him up because it’s time. It’s time to get this show on the road. My son is talking my vagina into letting him pass . . . green means go. . . . and it’s time to go.
I stand and waddle my way to the bathroom while taking deep breaths in and slowly letting them out. I’m gonna take a shower first, and thank God, my hooha is presentable since show and tell is inevitable!
“Love? Why are you taking a shower? It’s freaking one in the morning?”
“I tried to wake you up,” I answer using my breathing technique.
“You want to have shower sex?” Cody lets out a sigh of frustration and exclaims, “Roxy, you’re about ready to pop, and you want my dick inside your. . .”
“Will you be quiet!” I push open the shower door and glare at my husband, but after I thoroughly enjoy the sight of him shirtless and wearing. . . .”Why are you naked?”
“I thought you wanted some action? I told you, love, I’ll give you everything you want. Are you ready for me?”
I roll my eyes at him which earns me a scowl. “Yes! I’m ready to get this baby out. My water broke, so unless you want me to have our first baby in the shower, you better get dressed.”
CODY
Did my wife just say what I think she said? Her water broke, which means my son is ready to say hi to the world while I’m as naked as a baby. What the hell is going on here? I’ve totally lost control! This is what I get from handing a little bit of it to my crazy wife.
I race to get dressed after I reach for my phone to call . . . who the hell am I going to call? Brian is occupied with Tami. Jake is more than likely wiping Trev’s stinky ass, and Trish . . . I don’t even want to know what her tits are doing right now. So, who do I call? I called the most calm, level headed, always prepared man in the entire universe—my brother-in-law. Thank God, he moved here with us to San Diego; otherwise, I’d be shitting bricks.
“LT, we have a situation here. I need you, ASAP!”
With a clam voice he answers, “Give me ten.” I internally high five myself, proud that I’m related to someone who’s calm and collected.
I yell out, “Love, LT is on his way. You need help getting dressed? I promise I won’t cop a feel.”
The bathroom door opens and my lovely wife walks out wearing a Maxi dress with her hair tied up in a mess on top of her head as she applies lipstick on her lips. Let’s back track a bit—is that lipstick she’s holding?
“We’re going to the hos
pital not a party, Roxy.”
“Just get me there. Oh and don’t forget my overnight bag and . . .” She starts walking around in circles trying to remember something. “Oh yeah, don’t forget the teddy bear that’s my focal point. I need to concentrate on that when I’m doing my breathing.”
I run to the walk in closet, grab a hold of her overnight bag, I throw in a boxer, shirt, and socks for me just in case I need to take a shower. A shower? What the hell am I thinking? I’m thinking we’re going to a damn hotel and not a hospital. Where the hell is LT? I need him here now!
LT’s voice booms in the night, “I’m here. What’s the situation, Cody? It better be good or I’ll have your ass. . . .” He stops as soon as he sees Roxy. “Hey, sis. What are you doing up at this time? Shouldn’t you be sleeping? My nephew needs all the rest he can get.” I look at my super calm brother-in-law as he gives my wife’s gigantic belly a love rub.
“Oh hey, Damien. I’m the situation. My water broke, and I need to be taken to the hospital like, right now.”
“Okay. Cody, are you ready to roll?”
“I’m ready to push! Let’s go.” I usher my wife outside to LT’s waiting SUV parked directly in front of the door. As soon as we’re safely in the car, I place my hand on Roxy’s very hard stomach praying that everything will go smoothly.
Roxy covers my hand with hers. “Love, don’t worry. I’m gonna be just fine.”
I kiss her belly and hold her cheek with my other hand. “Just breathe for me, love. You’re not in pain are you?”
“I just feel pressure for now. I’ll be alright.”
“LT, ETA please?”
“Ten minutes. Jump out as soon as I stop, I’ll take care of the rest. Mom is on duty, so I’ll shoot her a text.”
As soon as the car stops, I scoop my wife in my arms and walk into the emergency room carrying the two most important people in my life.
ROXY
“Mom, I’m fine.”
“Roxy, you should be feeling a contraction, right now.”
“Mom, my pain threshold is good.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? Love. . . .” Cody asks, but stops as soon as I start doing my Lamaze breathing.
We both hold each other’s gaze not ruining the connection until the contraction stops. God, this round is much more intense than the last one. I hope they give me my epidural soon because I don’t think I can go much longer without it.
“Hi, Beth.” I greet my nurse as soon as she walks in. “How much longer before I get my epidural?”
“That’s why I’m here. Let me check . . .”
Cody moves closer narrowing his eyes. “So, is she ready for that Epipen?”
My mom, Beth, and I, look at Cody as though he grew a second head. Where did he get Epipen from? As far as I know, I’m not allergic to anything . . . nothing. The only explanation is my situation is getting to him, that has to be it.
“Do you mean Epidural, Cody?” My mom asks as she signals for me not to laugh.
“Whatever it’s called, Mom. I hate seeing her in so much pain.” Turning toward the nurse he asks, “So, is she ready? Can you give it to her, now?”
The nurse looks at me then switches her gaze to Cody as she moves closer to my mom on the other side of the room. My brother walks in which will make this situation a lot worse.
“Are you just going to look at me? I need a sit rep here. The objective is to get my wife as comfortable as possible because the package is coming soon. His ETA I don’t know, so please tell me what’s the plan of attack here? If you can’t, I’m calling in reinforcements, ASAP!”
“What’s going on? Did the doctor come see you already?” My brother looks my way, then back at the poor nurse scowling at her. “You need to get her doc on the horn. This is unacceptable! Who’s the officer in charge?”
“Stop! English, please!” My mom yells, stopping all the military garble.
“Love, can you please come here?” I motion for Cody to come closer to allow the poor nurse to make her escape. He moves quickly then I hold his face with my hands. Instantly, he closes his eyes. “Breathe for me.”
“Are you handling me?”
“Yes, because you and my brother are driving mom and me crazy. I’m fine. It’s gonna happen when it happens. So, just wait.”
Thankfully, my doctor walks in, flips my chart, does a vaginal assessment then says. “Roxy, we can’t give you the Epidural because you’re actually crowning . . .”
“Okay, shoot her up with something else then. A tranquilizer or whatever the shit it’s called,” Cody says looking intently at Dr. Rosenthal, the same OBGYN as Tami.
Tranquilizer? I think he’s in need of one!
“It’s too late, Cody.”
Before my husband could even say another word, my room is instantly converted into a delivery room. In a few seconds, my legs are in stir-ups, my brother and mother were ushered outside, Dr. Rosenthal is in close contact with my hooha, a nurse on my left coaches me while my husband is watching the doctor’s every move.
“Ready, Rox . . . give me one good push. . . .” Dr. Rosenthal instructs with a very calm voice.
“Push . . . push, push, push, push. . . .” Beth says.
CODY
I whisper hoping my words will give her comfort, “I love you, Rox. Focus on my voice, love. You’re my baby, my best friend, my partner, my sunshine, my warrior, my peace, my girl, and most of all you are mine.”
I hate seeing her like this especially when I can’t do anything about it. It just brings me back to when that son-of-a-bitch was touching her, and I couldn’t do anything about it. My lips don’t leave her forehead. My hand is being squeezed like there’s no tomorrow, but I don’t care because the pain my love is experiencing is a lot more painful that what she’s giving my hand.
“Alright, give me one good, solid push, Roxy,” Dr. Resenthal once again says. Hopefully, this is the last time.
“Push, push, push, push, push,. . . .” Beth cheers on again.
I’m about to tell her something when I hear a cry . . . no, a wail . . . no, it’s an angelic noise that jump starts my heart to new bounds. My lips leave my love’s forehead as my eyes land on the second human being I’m ready to die for, no questions asked.
My son’s life for mine. The same concept as his mom, the girl who started it all.
Dr. Rosenthal hands him to me, and I look at Roxy, asking for permission if it’s okay that I hold our son first. I want this experience to be hers first because she always comes first in my world. She nods as tears slide down her face.
As soon as my son is safely nestled in my arm, I’m speechless for once in my life. He looks at me as I’m looking at him, and an instant connection from a father to his son soon follows. My eyes starts to well up, wishing my parents were here to enjoy this moment, to hold him as I am, to love him as I will. Instead, I hold onto my son’s little hand and raise it slightly up toward the heavens.
“Hey kiddo. Thank God, now I have a helper in watching over your mommy. Are you up for the challenge?” My son blinks, not once, but twice in affirmation. “You wanna see your mommy? Three things Son; one, prepare your eyes to see the most beautiful woman on Earth. Two, prepare to hear your heart thump so loudly when your eyes lock with hers, and three, prepare to fall in love with your mommy.”
Roxy reaches for him, and it’s game over for me . . . seeing the two people who own my heart is a game changer for me. This is it, a life of servitude for me; and I accept it gladly . . . openly . . . willingly.
“Hello, Corey Matthew Davis. You look exactly like your daddy. I hope you grow up to be just like him. He’s my fierce protector, and he’ll be yours, too.” My wife looks at me with so much love in her eyes, I feel I’m out of breath but breathing at the same time. “I’ve fallen in love for the second time in my life, Cody.”
“Me too, baby.” I take a deep breath in before making the most important promise of my life for the second time. “Love, I promise, I will lov
e and protect our son as I do you. There’s nothing—nothing I won’t do for him. My life for his just like—my life for yours.”
Tears escape her eyes while my lips land on hers, then I kiss my son. This right here, within the four walls of this room rests my world. The two most important, valuable, unmistakable loves of my life.
STANDSTILL
GOODBYES & DECISIONS
SOPHIA
SIX MONTHS IN THE FUTURE
STUPIDLY, I ADMIT TO THE man who’ll never see me as anything more that I love him. Why? I know why. For once in my life, I’m making a choice—mine. I don’t need to consult anyone or pencil it on my calendar. I made an adult decision without considering how my moment of bravery will affect my heart. Who cares about my heart, anyway? A sad smile escapes my lips remembering when I actually told him, I love you.
“Luke, can you please give me just . . . ten . . . ten minutes to talk to Damien?”
Luke, who has been on my detail for the past three years gives me a brotherly look. The kind that says I’m not going to like what he’s about to say.
Scrunching his brow, he says, “Soph, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Before losing my new found confidence, I cut him off, “I need to do this, Luke. The campaign starts tomorrow, and he won’t be on my detail anymore. I won’t see him after today. Please.”
“I can’t take the bullet for you on this one, kid. Are you sure you can handle this?”
