by Vivi Holt
“Ready.”
Jen pulled two to-go cups out of the cabinet and filled them with coffee and vanilla-flavored creamer. “Coffee?” she asked the men.
Parker took one with a grin. “How did you know?”
“Oh, I just had an inkling. It’s that kind of morning.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“What are you doing this morning?”
“Actually, I’m coming with y’all. There’re a few things I need to get in town. Anyway, I wouldn’t be able to focus on work with everything that’s going on.” His eyes met hers and she noticed for the first time just how intense they were. A dark chocolate brown, they made her spine tingle a little.
“I’m driving’,” called Dalton, heading out through the kitchen door with Hazel beneath his arm.
Parker laughed. “We’ll definitely be late with Slowpoke at the wheel.”
“Mind your tongue there,” replied Dalton. “You young whippersnappers think you’re all that. It’s wisdom and maturity that make all the difference in a man, you just wait and see.”
Parker gently kicked Dalton in the ankle, making him stumble. Dalton let go of Hazel, spun around and grabbed Parker with one arm around his neck, rubbing his knuckles back and forth on top of Parker’s head.
“Oh, now you’ve asked for it,” Parker laughed. He shifted his weight to grab Dalton around the waist in a tight wrestling hold.
“I give in, I give in,” cried Dalton with a chuckle. “You win this round, whippersnapper.”
Parker released him and thumped him good-naturedly on the back as they all climbed into the truck. Dalton took the driver’s seat and Hazel sat up front with him. Parker and Jen took the bench seat in the back. A saddle filled up the far right space, leaving Jen with barely enough room in the center.
“You okay there?” asked Parker. “Got enough room?”
She frowned as she pulled the seat belt into place. “I think so. Sorry if I’m crowding you out.”
“Doesn’t bother me at all.”
* * *
The walls of Dr. Simpson’s office in the west wing of the Tift Regional Hospital were covered in chipped white paint, making the office seem old and dirty, but Jen reassured herself that it was likely hygienic enough. But her stomach churned for an entirely different reason: she hated hospitals. The last time she was in one was for emergency surgery to have her appendix removed, and since then she’d avoided them as best she could. There was something about the sounds and smells of a hospital that made her want to flee.
Hazel picked up a magazine from the table in front of them and flicked through it. “You don’t have to come in with me if you don’t want to – I know how these places make you feel,” she whispered
“No, really, I’m fine. I want to be here. I don’t have anywhere else to be. Besides, it’s time I got over my fear of hospitals, right?”
“Right.” Hazel smiled nervously and reached for Dalton’s hand.
He enclosed her hand in both of his and grinned. “It’s gonna be fine, Slick. You’ll see.”
Hazel nodded and leaned her head back against his shoulder.
Parker stood and stretched his arms over his head. “I’ve got a few things to do down at the saddlery and the feed lot. I’ll be back in an hour, okay?”
Dalton nodded and handed Parker the keys to the truck. “See you then, bro.”
Parker shot a look at Jen before turning to leave. She watched him go, her thoughts racing. She closed her eyes and prayed for the first time in years, for God to take care of Hazel. Then her eyes flicked open as the receptionist told Hazel to go in, the doctor was ready to see her now.
The three of them stood at the same time and shuffled into the office. A sign on the door read ALICIA SIMPSON, M.D., F.A.S.C.O. Hazel sat on the examining table, leaving the chairs opposite the doctor free for Dalton and Jen. Dalton looked nervous, wiping his palms repeatedly down the legs of his jeans. Jen smiled at him sympathetically.
Dr. Simpson entered, her black hair bobbing as she nodded. “So, Hazel, how are you feeling since we finished radiation treatment?”
“Much better than I did during the treatment. Though I’m still pretty tired.”
The doctor nodded again. “Yes, that’s to be expected. I’ve just finished going over your charts and X-rays with the head of oncology, and we agree on the next course of action. We recommend surgery.”
“Surgery?” Hazel’s eyes widened, and Jen reached for her hand to squeeze it.
“Yes, a double mastectomy.” Dr. Simpson’s eyes were kindly, but her words were firm.
Jen felt a tremor run through Hazel’s hand. “A double …”
“Yes. We might be able to get away with trying to remove the tumor and operating only on the affected area in the left breast. But it’s possible the cancer cells have already spread to the right and we just can’t pick it up on our scans yet. I don’t think the risk is worth it – I really think we should remove both, just to be safe.”
Hazel’s hand shook steadily now, and Jen could see her eyes fill with tears. Her own throat tightened and she held back a sob. She had to be strong now, for Hazel’s sake.
Hazel looked at Dalton, and Jen noticed the stricken look on his face. “I … I don’t know. Dalton?”
He nodded sadly. “We should do what the doc says, Slick.”
“But I won’t have any … I’ll be … oh!” Hazel shook silently, tears rushing down her cheeks.
Dalton stood up, kissed her on the cheek and hugged her from behind. “None of that matters, Slick. Just so long as you’re here and you’re well.”
“Now, if you have the double mastectomy and your tests afterward are clear, you may not have to go through chemo,” the doctor continued. “And just so you know, we can do an immediate reconstruction while you’re in surgery, if that’s what you decide you want.” She tipped her head to one side with a compassionate smile. “I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but this really is the best way forward for you.”
“An immediate reconstruction … does that mean she’d have breasts right away, like they are now?” asked Jen, wide-eyed.
“That’s right. Hazel, you’d get to choose from a selection of photographs for how you’d like them to look, and we’d make that happen while you’re on the operating table.”
Jen faced Hazel with a half-smile. “How about that, Hazel? You could finally have that cleavage you’ve always wanted.”
Hazel’s tears were interrupted by a brief giggle.
“I mean, you know how we’ve always been jealous of those women who throw on a push-up bra and all of a sudden they’re Kate Upton? You could be that now! And since they’re plastic, they’ll never droop. Now that’s a silver lining if I ever heard one!”
Now even Dalton and the doctor were guffawing.
Finally Hazel took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Okay, doc. We’ll do it.” She glanced at Jen and squeezed her hand. “I’ll pick out my new boobs, and next summer I’ll strut them in a bikini.”
“That’s the spirit,” laughed Dr. Simpson. “I’ll get the book.”
* * *
Parker changed gears and stepped on the accelerator. He glanced at Jen in the passenger seat, her chin resting glumly in her hand. “Rough morning, huh?”
She nodded and forced a smile.
“You don’t have to meet with Will today, you know. You could postpone it for another time. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
She sighed. “No, I want to do it today. I need something to occupy my mind.”
“Okay, then.” He turned into a short driveway leading to a red brick two-story house set back in a peach orchard. Will Hart stood in his driveway, hosing down his truck. He waved at them as they approached, and a pair of golden retrievers ran over, barking fiercely with tails wagging.
Jen stepped out, patted the dogs on the head, then walked over to shake Will’s hand with a smile. “I’m Jennifer B
arsby. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Pleased to meet you too, Jennifer. I’m William Hart, but folks around here just call me Will. I hear you’re looking for some vet work?”
She nodded, resting her hands on her hips while Parker shook Will’s hand. “Yes, that’s right. I worked for the Green Peach Ranch up in Atlanta, but when I heard Hazel was sick I came down here. Part-time work is fine – just something to keep me occupied and pay the bills until Hazel’s back on her feet.”
Will nodded and went to the faucet to turn off the hose. “Sure, I understand. As it so happens, I’ve got more work than I can handle at the moment. If you’re up for it, I’d love to have you help me out, say, three days a week for now. But it’s solid work with a decent paycheck. You’ll be doing mostly large animal work – are you okay with that?”
“It’s what I love most,” said Jen with a grin.
“Good to hear – that’s what you get out here in the country. There’ll be some cats, dogs and the like, but most of our patients are horses, cattle … you know, the heavier variety. And the majority of our work is call-out, so you won’t be in an office.”
“Fine with me.”
Parker watched the exchange in silence. Jen handled herself well in a business setting. She seemed so much different from the bumbling woman he’d known so far. She was confident and mature, and he was glad to see her melancholy lift as she conversed with Will.
She shook Will’s hand. “Okay, that sounds perfect. I’ll see you Monday.” She headed back to Parker’s truck, a smile lingering on her lips.
“That went well,” Parker said as they pulled out of the driveway.
She caught his gaze and nodded. “Yes, it did.”
“You must love your work to be that happy about starting.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I do.”
“I guess your folks are really proud of you.”
Her face clouded. “They are … though they wanted me to do something else entirely.”
“Oh?”
She sighed. “The family business. After I graduated, they just expected I’d join them – they wanted me to run it someday, I suppose. But I had an entirely different plan for my life. I mean, I love my parents and I know they love me, but I wanted to make my own way. They never understood that. Of course, we’ve put it behind us now, but I know they still harbor a bit of resentment over me being a vet.”
He arched an eyebrow. “I’m sure they think you’re amazing. At least I do. It’s not an easy thing to study as long as you did and take care of sick animals the way you do.”
She grinned at him. “Thanks. Maybe you should talk to them.”
He laughed, changing gears as they slowed to go around a corner. “I’d be happy to. But what about Chris – can’t he talk to them? I’m sure they must love him – they get a lawyer as a potential son-in-law.”
She grunted. “Well … I haven’t exactly introduced them to Chris yet. They had this idea that I’d marry my high-school sweetheart Ben Gwinnett. He works for them, and I think they still hold out hope that one day I’ll come home, join the business and marry him. Never mind that he’s already married to someone else – no one ever lives up to Ben in their minds.” She laughed and smoothed her hair back from her face.
He frowned. “Sounds like your folks have all kinds of plans for you.”
She nodded. “They sure do. Though they seem to tolerate my rebelliousness now. We get along great.”
“That’s good to hear. So are you planning on taking Chris home for the holidays?”
She frowned. “I haven’t thought that far ahead. I don’t feel like I can plan for anything until I know what’s happening with Hazel. Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away – I can’t imagine I’ll be going home for that.”
He nodded and clenched the steering wheel. She was right – Thanksgiving wasn’t far away. He wondered what his mother would do this year with all her boys down south. He had an idea she just might make the trip, not wanting to stay in Chattanooga without them. They’d all gone home last year, but with everything going on with Hazel he knew Dalton wouldn’t want to head north for the holidays. And what about Eamon – had he even told Ma he was married yet? He couldn’t imagine how she’d react to that.
“What about you?” Jen asked. “Is there someone special in your life you might take home for the holidays?”
He shrugged. “Nope.”
“Why not?”
He frowned. “That’s a bit of a loaded question.”
She laughed. “Come on, you’re a great guy – smart, funny, good-looking, successful. I’m sure women are lining up to date you. Don’t you have a girlfriend or three?”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “They’re definitely not lining up to date me. I think I would’ve noticed.” He chuckled. “I guess I haven’t found someone I want to date. And I’m not ready – not sure I’ll ever be ready, really.”
She cocked her head to one side. “What do you mean?”
He felt his face warm. What was he doing? He never opened up to anyone the way he was with Jen, not since he got out of the Army. But there was something about her that made him want to share, to tell her everything. “I don’t know why I said that. It’s just that … since the military, I haven’t felt like I could share my life, myself, with anyone. And you have to be open and vulnerable if you want a relationship. So they say.”
Her lips pursed. “Yes, that’s usually recommended. Though I bet you could get away with being closed off – a lot of women would just think you were mysterious. They’d love it, trust me.”
He chuckled. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Oh yeah, some of them will eat that up. If you want to, we could go out sometime and I’ll help you – I’ll be your wingman, tell them how dark and brooding you are.”
He shook his head with a laugh. “Thanks, but I think I can manage on my own.”
“Doesn’t seem that way,” she murmured.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“I’ll date when I’m ready,” he insisted. “And besides, I have to find someone worth opening up to. If those two align, I promise, you’ll be the first to know.”
Jen’s eyes sparkled at him. “I’m holding you to that.”
Parker couldn’t help laughing. She always made him laugh. Even when she was prying into things that were none of her business and driving him crazy with her advice.
Chapter 4
Jen smiled at the sound of Chris’s voice on the phone. She’d missed it, missed him – though not as much as she’d thought she would. In fact, she’d done really well pushing thoughts of Chris from her mind over the past couple of weeks since her arrival. She frowned and threw herself back onto her bed, anxious to give him her full attention. “So what have you been up to?” she asked, rubbing her closed eyelids.
“Jen …” He paused. “… we need to talk.”
Her eyes flew open and she sat up straight. “What? What is it?”
He sighed into the receiver. “I haven’t seen you in weeks. And even when we talk, you’re completely distracted. I don’t know … I guess I didn’t realize how hard it would be. And I didn’t think you’d be gone this long.”
She frowned. “Chris, Hazel hasn’t even had her surgery yet.”
Another sigh. “Yeah, I know.”
She took a quick breath and her pulse raced. “So what are you saying?”
“It’s not working. Not for me. And … I met someone.”
She couldn’t speak. It felt like something heavy was pressing on her chest. She took a long, slow breath. “You … what?”
“We don’t see each other. We hardly talk. And … Emma is here. She’s available. And she’s on the same track as me. You know what I mean?”
She shook her head silently. What did he mean, the same track? “But … you said you’d wait for me. That you didn’t mind spending time apart. I thought you understood what I was doing here.”
“Yeah, well … I guess it’s harder than I thought it’d be. I’m just not the long-distance type of guy. I’m sorry, Jen. You’re a great person and I enjoyed spending time with you, but let’s be real – it wasn’t going anywhere. So there’s no point letting things drag out.”
Her heart fell into her gut and a cold sweat broke out across her forehead. “I didn’t think it was going nowhere. I thought we wanted the same things. I …”
“Like I said. I’m sorry. Look, I have to go. Maybe I’ll see you when you’re back in the ATL, okay?” His voice was distant, as though he was already pulling away from the phone.
She nodded slowly. “Okay. Bye.” The phone line went dead. She let her hand drop to the bed, her cell phone falling from her grasp. How could he end things like that? He didn’t even have the decency to come to south Georgia and break up with her face to face?
She stood and rubbed her hands over her face. She needed to get out of there. She wasn’t sure if anyone else was up – they’d finished dinner a couple of hours earlier, and after a brief chat around the fireplace in the den, everyone had headed for their respective bedrooms. She’d probably have the place to herself, which suited her fine. Usually, she’d seek out the company of others – she loved spending time with people – but not tonight, not after that conversation. She needed to be alone.
She pushed her feet into a pair of soft slippers, wrapped her plush bathrobe around herself, then peeked out the door before tiptoeing down the dark hallway. Just as she’d suspected, no one else was around. Someone had banked the fire in the hearth, and the remaining embers glowed in the blackness. She put on a knit cap, unlocked the front door and snuck outside.
The night was well-lit by a wide silver moon and a canopy of twinkling stars. She could clearly see the outline of the cattle herd beyond the barn, and the horses stood quietly in the field, only an occasional swish of a tail to show they were awake. With a quick tug, she pulled a chair out from beneath the outdoor table and sank into it with a sigh. She rested her elbows on the tabletop and her chin on her fists and stared out across the fields.
