by Claire Adams
"Basketball." She huffed loudly. "That's a boy's sport, Valentine. You need to stop spending your time on things that aren't going to be part of growing your future."
"Like the sorority that you made me join?" I closed my eyes and dropped my head in failure. I hadn't meant to bring it up. It was like putting a target on my head and handing my mother a loaded gun.
"That sorority, young lady, has the ability to help you get any job or any man that you want. It's a powerful group of women, and you not even trying for the leadership role, which is rightly yours, is disturbing." She was running out of breath, which means the drama was just starting. "What's even worse is that you let Marylyn’s daughter take the presidency. You have no clue of how incredibly disappointed and embarrassed I am."
"I'll try harder, Mom. Sit down and don't get upset over this." I opened my bag and tried to ignore the sickness swirling deep inside my stomach. I loved her, I did, but she was a monster most days of the week – and that was when she was in a relatively good mood.
"How do you know I'm not sitting?" she barked into the phone.
"I can hear you pacing. You know your blood pres-"
"I'm not interested in having a pow-wow with my child over my blood pressure. What I am interested in doing is hearing that you're going to stop wasting all of the opportunities that your father and I are creating for you and that you're going to actually do something with yourself." She was yelling by this point, and I was over it.
"Yep. I am. I'll call you later, Mom. I love you to the moon and back." I dropped the call as tears filled my eyes. I'd promised myself a million times that I wasn't going to cry another tear over her disapproval of me. It wasn't going to change or get better, and I'd quit trying to please her after my first year of coming to college. The fact that I was still in the sorority house pleaded the opposite of that, but it was a small offering of peace toward her. That's all I had left in me.
A text came through from Katelyn that the Sigma Chis were having a “last night of winter break” party later that night. I told her I would go, but only if there was beer and hot guys.
Hot guys. Yeah right. I barely wanted to see the good-looking guy that I had been dating for the last six months, much less anyone new. Paul Wright was the all-American heartthrob on campus, and where I'd promised myself I wouldn't get involved too seriously with anyone during my college years, his blond hair and blue eyes left my heart fluttering too often to refuse.
Me and every other girl on campus.
We'd been together for six months, and while the relationship was good, it wasn't anything near great. He was too much like my mother, and the fact that she approved of him left me feeling like I was almost out of my league.
I stiffened as the sound of his voice lifted up from the row of books to my left, surprising me a little.
"The party starts at eight. Just grab your friends and come out," Paul was whispering to someone, or trying to.
"Come get us." Carolyn Jacobs.
I stood as anger burned through my veins. Carolyn was the current president of the Gammas and had been after my boyfriend since the day we started dating. Funny enough, she wasn't interested in him until he decided he was interested in me.
"Yeah. Come get us." I moved up to stand beside them, working hard to keep my expression calm and unemotional. The turmoil dancing inside my chest would never be seen by either of them. I was a master at the art of calm facades.
"Val. There you are." Paul's lips lifted in a warm smile as he turned to pull me into a tight hug. "You didn't answer my texts."
"You didn't text." I winked at him and pulled back a little to look over at Carolyn. Her tight shirt and short skirt left her looking like a hooker. "It's freezing outside. You're going to catch your death wearing that."
She rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through her long blonde hair. "Jealousy isn't becoming, Valentine." She spat my name before turning her attention back to Paul. "Come pick all of us up. We'll even let your charity-case girlfriend come."
"Carolyn." Paul gave her a warning look and turned back to me. "You want to come to the party tonight? I'll pick you up and bring you back home."
"I'm going, but I'm riding with Amy." I gave Carolyn a side glance before shoeing her off. "Go away and make someone else miserable. Your job is done here."
She rolled her eyes and turned. "You're dating the wrong girl, Paul, and you know it. I hear she doesn't even put out."
I ignored her and pulled from Paul's hold. Why everyone reminded me of my mother all of a sudden was beyond me. I needed a new focus – or better yet, a new life.
"Hey. You know she's just jealous of you." He followed me back to the table where my stuff sat strewn everywhere.
"And why is that?" I sat down and pulled my business law book toward me. "She has everything I have and then some."
"She's jealous of me." He let out a curt laugh and touched the back of my hair. "Hey. Look at me. Don't let her upset you. I'm good with us sleeping together just every once in a while. I know sex isn't important to you."
Ice water ran through my veins.
"What?" I turned and looked up at him. He was everyone's wet dream, except mine. His lack of humility and borderline obsession with popularity left me having to force myself to do anything beyond a quick, friendly kiss.
If this is love or lust, I don't want it. Fuck it.
"It's okay. Really." He smiled and touched the side of my face. "Besides, it's been a few weeks. I'm figuring if you'll let me take you to the party tonight, then we can go back to my place afterward. Spend some time together and snuggle up for a good night of sleep?"
Spending time together usually included me sucking him off, fucking for five minutes, and listening to him snore the rest of the night. Count me out.
I swatted his hand away, suddenly not feeling so friendly anymore. "I'm good. Go pick up Carolyn. I'm riding with my friends, and what happens after that is anybody's guess."
"Val, come on." He touched my shoulder, but I jerked away, hating how immature I felt, but not able to drag myself from the black hole I was teetering over.
There were many more parts of my life that I hated than those that I loved. Or liked.
"I have to work on this paper. I'll see you tonight. Okay?" I glanced up at him, pleading with my expression for him to leave me be. I didn't need any more pressure in my life, and if things kept going the way they were, he wouldn't have to worry about me too much longer, anyways.
Carolyn wasn't one to give up on anything she wanted, and after grabbing up the leadership role in Gamma our sophomore year, she was only hungry for something else that was mine. Paul would be next, and I honestly didn't care. As long as she kept her damn hands off of my friends, I would survive.
If she didn't, then game on.
Chapter 2
Tate
"Mom?" I called out as I opened the dilapidated front door to the small, one-bedroom house my mother and I shared. She was overly precautious about someone breaking into the house, so to save myself from having her shotgun in my face, I started making sure to let her know I was home. It was just far safer than the alternative. My lips lifted in a smile at the thought.
"In here, baby." She poked her head out from the kitchen and lifted her eyebrow at me. "Why are you late? You're usually done with dinner and sitting at this old kitchen table studying by now."
"Long day at the shop. We had more cars than hands to fix them." I let my backpack drop from my shoulders onto the couch before tugging my jacket off. "I'm going to go with Sam to a party later tonight, but I'll be back home for sure."
She moved back into the kitchen and had her back to me when I walked in. "Fine, but please be careful. I'd rather you take my jeep than drive that bike late at night. It's freezing out there and you know that in next few days, it's only going to get worse."
"I'll be fine, Mom. I'm not taking your jeep. My bike's sturdy and has the right tires to deal with anything that your jeep could deal with. S
hit, it's probably more prepared." I sat down at the table as she gave me a look over her shoulder.
"Watch your mouth. There are a million more words you could choose. I don't need to hear you cursing." She dished me up a bowl of something and moved to sit down in front of me.
"Sorry, Mom." I pulled the stew toward me and breathed in deeply, loving the smell of it as it penetrated my lungs.
I'd been raised by the kind woman across from me, and she was all I knew, but she wasn't my mother. I didn't know my parents, nor did I want to. Sarah was all I needed. We'd spoken about my adoption once when I was twelve and never again. She was all the mother I could hope for, and I tried hard to live up to being the son she deserved.
"Where is this party, anyway? Are you taking that sleazy blonde girl you were seeing from school?" Her nose turned up as she pushed a pan of cornbread toward me. "You want butter?"
I got up and laughed. "I'll get it myself, and no, I'm not seeing Andrea anymore. I'm not sure why you didn't like her. She was so...loving."
The snort from my mother caused me to laugh. Andrea was by far one of the sluttiest girls I'd brought home, but something about her left me wanting to save her. I was most likely the one that needed saving from my grandeur hope for a better future and a love story to tell my grandkids, but nevertheless, I looked for broken souls. It somehow made me feel better. Wanted. Needed.
"Yeah, loving and extremely touchy-feely. The girl groped you three times the last time you guys were here." She followed me with a stern look on her face as I laughed again.
"Mom. That's the new way to hug nowadays. You should get out more."
"Hug? By cupping someone’s crotch? No, sir." She shook her head. "I'd whoop someone's ass if they tried to hug me."
I'd just lifted a spoonful of soup to my mouth and laughed so hard it sprayed it across the table.
She turned and started to clean it up as her lips lifted in a smile. "I love you. You're a great kid. Did you know that?"
"I'm a man, Mom." I smirked and sat back in my chair. "Now, if you could butter and honey up my cornbread, please. You do it better than I do."
"Brother." She grabbed the plate and started to fix my bread like she always had. A cough left her as she turned and lifted her hands to her face.
"That doesn't sound good." Concern ran through me, and I watched her closely for signs of anything other than the nasty cough as she walked to the sink and washed her hands.
"It's okay. Just a cold. You know I don't do so well during the winter months. It just gets so cold here." She turned to look at me as she dried her hands. "When does school start back up?"
"Tomorrow." I shook my head and worked on the stew in my bowl. "I'm actually looking forward to it, though. I think having to work so damn hard to pay for it makes me honestly respect the fact that I need to do well."
Her expression saddened. "I wish I could help. There is a possibility for me to pick up more shifts at the hospital."
"No." I gave her a silly expression. "I'm good. The shop is bringing in enough to help pay for my books and keep me and you fed. You just worry about the mortgage and the lights. One day, I'll be able to take care of all of it for us."
"One day, you'll be married with a family of your own, Tate." She moved around the table and gripped my shoulders softly before leaning over and pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "You need to focus on you and not me."
"Right. Try again." I stifled the need to make a million more promises I wasn't sure I could come through on. I wanted to give her the world, and not just because she'd opened her home and her heart to me, but because she was a good woman and deserved it. Her last boyfriend had been an asshole and a half, and the day I got to kick him out was one of the best days of my life.
She had no clue what respect looked like between a man and a woman, and I was struggling to find the boundary lines myself. I couldn't remember her ever being in a healthy relationship.
My best friend Sam's parents were in a good, solid relationship. I'd learned most of what I needed to know about being a good man from Sam's dad. Sam and I had been inseparable since grade school, and it had been him who forced me to look into scholarships and grants to attend University of Minnesota. It was a great school and I loved the idea of growing smarter and furthering myself, but it was certainly taking a toll on my income.
Funny enough, Sam was also the one that regretted getting me started in college. My ability to diagnose and fix cars was almost uncanny, and the guys at the shop were giving me hell for passing up Jerry's opportunity to have more hours at the shop. Sam was on my ass to rethink everything, too, but I was eighteen months away from graduating. There was no way I was throwing in the towel. I'd invested far too much. I could keep pushing forward for another year and a half, then I would find a way to cut back and re-balance everything.
Weariness rolled over me as I thought through all that I had coming up the next week with classes starting back up. Jerry needed me at the shop six days a week for the next few months. The winter season was always the busiest for us, and I was loyal to a fault, if nothing else.
A knock pulled me from my thoughts. My mother was already headed toward the door by the time I stood up.
"Mom, let me-"
She opened the door, and Sam walked in, giving her a big hug.
My stomach was tied in knots as I let out a long sigh and dropped back down into my chair. I was scared as hell that we hadn't seen the last of Daniel, my mom's ex with a temper that would scare Lucifer himself.
"It smells like your famous beef stew in here, Ms. Phillips. You saved me some, right?" He walked in and patted my back. "Hey, buddy."
"Hey. There's still some in that pot on the stove. Get you a bowl and join me." I took another big bite and tried to calm myself. Daniel was in jail the last time I checked and everything was fine. It had to be. I couldn't handle another uproar where my mother's life was put in danger. We would need to move, regardless of funding or opportunity. She meant too much to me to let anything happen to her.
"There's plenty. You boys eat it until it's all gone. You know I hate leftovers. It means the meal wasn't nearly as good as it should have been." She stopped by the door to the kitchen and coughed again. "I'm going to turn in early and try to knock this cold out before it knocks me off my feet."
"Alright." I got up and gave her a hug. "No opening the door tonight. I'm serious."
"Tate. It's fine. Daniel is in jail, and I got my shotgun by the front door. No one's going to hurt me. I promise." She touched my face and moved around me to focus on Sam. "Don't let him bring home another slut puppy. Alright, Sammy?"
"Yes, ma'am." He glanced over his shoulder to give her a serious look and curt nod. "Only church girls that sing in the choir for Tate, Ms. Phillips."
"There we go. That's why you're his your best friend." She laughed and turned to give me another hard stare. "Be careful on the bike. I'm serious."
"Alright, Mom. I'll be home late tonight. Get some rest." I moved to sit back down at the table and dove back into my dinner, loving how well my mother could cook. That had to be one of the two things I wanted out of a wife. Someone that could cook and a woman that would love me past my poverty and faults. I wasn't highly likely to get either, much less both, but I could dream.
"Dude, that cough doesn't sound good. Has she had that checked out?" Sam sat down across from me and gave me a hard stare. "I'm pretty sure that's bronchitis."
Sam was in his final year of pre-med and would be on to medical school in Boston in a year or so. I was going to miss him like hell, but the world needed more doctors like him. He was kind and caring, giving and incredibly patient.
"I doubt it. She works at the hospital, and you know she still won't tell anyone that she's not feeling good." I let out a sigh and worked to get another piece of cornbread from the pan. "Don't eat this. It tastes like shit."
"Liar. Give me that." He pulled the pan toward him and smirked at me. "This party tonight is going to be of
f the chain. I heard Darrin say that they invited the girls from the prep school the next county over to join us."
"Prep school? That's high school, Sam." I shook my head at him. "Those girls aren't legal, and I'm not touching any of them."
"Most of them are seniors, Tate. Eighteen, dude." Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You need to get laid, like, yesterday. You're moody and have dark circles under your eyes."
"My balls are too full? Is that what you're telling me?" I took another bite of my stew before realizing that it was too cold to enjoy. I got up and popped it into the microwave as we continued our recurring conversation about my sex life.
"Something like that." He turned and looked over his shoulder. "Have you slept with anyone since Andrea and you split up last week?"
"Nope, but I'm going to tonight. It's just not going to some virgin high school chick. That's gross." I pulled the bowl from the microwave and walked over to take my seat again. "I want a woman that knows what she's doing and isn't afraid to explore her pleasure with me."
"Explore her pleasure." Sam tapped his spoon against his mouth as he got a faraway look. "I like that. Does that pick up line work? You're the one that gets the girls all the time."
"Shut up." I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him.
"No, I'm serious. Like I'm going to try that shit tonight. I'll just walk up to a fine girl and say, 'Hi, I'm Sam. You wanna maybe go explore your pleasure with me?'"
"Yes. Please do that. Make sure I'm right beside you with a hand towel to help clean you up when you get a drink in your face." I laughed. "It's cold outside, too, so it's likely to scald your girly face, seeing that it'll be hot chocolate."
"Or cider. Could be apple cider." He stirred his soup and let out a grunt. "You remember that party we went to at the beginning of December? Amber May's party? She had cider."
"It wasn't the cider you were interested in." I tried not to think about that night. It hadn't been my finest moment. Where I wanted to be the type of guy who respected women, when it came to a horny girl and a few too many beers, I was nothing less than carnal.
