Ryder's Last Run (Dueling Dragons MC Series)

by Rose Dewallvin

  “Oh, yeah? Well, let me tell you what happened in that fucking office. It wasn’t only her that is a new feature in Ryder’s life; his anger and aggression are something else.” I shake my head at her.

  “So, tell me.” She leans back against the headboard of the bed so I lie across the foot of the bed and start to tell her about Ryder and the office. The office I hope I never have to step foot in again.

  ****

  “I took my ring off and threw it at him and walked out of the room.”

  Over the last hour I have filled Pegs in on what happened with Ryder and Bambi. Pegs said that she went all crazy on the jukebox and was carried outside by Tank. What the hell was Ryder thinking? If he really loved me like he said he does than he wouldn’t be asking me to stand behind him.

  “You know that man loves you. From what I have been hearing from the guys around here…” I look up at her and lift my eyebrow. “Yes, I have been eavesdropping. So sue me.”

  I laugh. “My point is, I’ve heard he went through a lot when he was gone. Like there was some bad shit that happened.” Pegs starts to talk so fast that it’s kind of hard to keep up. “I guess they had him locked away in the middle of the desert and they forced him to fight. He had to fight his way out of where he was.”

  Shaking my head, I look over at Tucker and then back to Pegs. “What do you mean he was forced to fight? Why didn’t he tell me any of this?” I start to feel my stomach roll a little bit and realize that I am about to lose my lunch. I hop up off the bed and run for the little bathroom off Ziggy’s room.

  “You okay, sweetie?”

  Pegs sits down next to me on the floor and starts to rub circles on my back.

  “He has gone through so much. No wonder he hates me.” I start to cry and I’m face down in the toliet. Good thing Ziggy is such a clean guy.

  “He doesn’t hate you, I promise. You just have to remember how men are.” She keeps rubbing circles on my back.

  I sit back and put my back against the wall. “What am I going to do, Pegs? I love him. I truly love him. I can’t see my life without him in it now. I know it sounds strange but it feels like I am meant to be with him. We are meant to be together. But I don’t know if I can accept his life fully.” I run my hands through my hair and then rest my head against the wall.

  “Well, first things first. You’re going to talk to him. You both need to talk about what happened with you guys. You need to talk about what happened with you both when you were apart. Have you been told what happened?”

  “Do you think I would be so upset if I knew what was going on? I think that’s what gets me the most; we were trying to talk. I mean, he talked a little bit but all he really said was that he is fine now. Things are going to be better and different. He would do better than they did.”

  I feel my stomach start to flip around again and I jump up to my knees and start to dry heave. I have nothing left in my stomach to throw up.

  “Let me go get you something to drink, Faith. You are going to start gagging and feel worse if you keep heaving like that.”

  Peggy stands up and leaves the bathroom. I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I pull it out and look at the screen. It’s a text from Ryder. So he can text but not talk? Oh, who cares Faith! He is your past, you need to move on! My brain is screaming at me to get the hell out of there but my heart sees this text message as he is trying.

  I’m srry. I love u.

  I continue to stare at the screen until Peggy walks back into the bathroom. “Here you go.” She hands me a water and notices the phone in my hand. “Oh, were you talking to someone?”

  I push the button on the top of phone to unlock the screen and show her the message.

  “See? I told you that he loves you. He doesn’t seem to want to give up on you, so why are you giving up on him?” She doesn’t sit down next to me on the floor this time, but she sits on the counter and starts to sip her water.

  “It’s hard to explain. You didn’t see his eyes when he had me pinned to that desk. There was something dark and hollow there.” I shake my head and take a sip of my water. “I have never seen anything like I did in that room with Ryder, but at the same time…” I sigh and look up at her. “At the same time, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. It was a very intense situation.” I shake my head and my phone buzzes again.

  U can have my room. :x

  “It’s Ryder again. He said that I can have his room.” I look out the small window in the shower. “Damn, I didn’t realize how late it was getting.” I start to get up from the floor and Peggy is right next to me, helping me up. “I’m okay, Pegs. I am just so stressed with everything that has been going on. It is just so much to take in.”

  “So, are you going to text him back? I mean, it might not be a bad idea. After all, he is the president of this motorcycle club; I am sure he has tons of people that would search for you if you left.” She stops at the pack n’ play and picks up Tucker who is looking just as tired as I feel.

  “Yeah, I will.” I sigh and start to head out of the room. “I am gonna go take a shower and then message him. Love you and see you in the morning.”

  “Okay, try and eat some crackers or something for your stomach. And I love you too, Faith. I am here for you whenever you need me.” She says as she starts to feed Tucker. I smile at them and close the door behind me.

  ****

  Ryder’s room has got to be the biggest room here. It has a California King size bed with black and purple sheet set on it. Opposite of that is a dresser and a safe that is about half as tall as I am. The other side of the room has a desk and two chairs with a couch and chair opposite of it. So it is basically a bedroom with an office and the bathroom is just as amazing.

  Now that my shower and hygiene things are taken care of, I guess it’s time for me to text Ryder back. Sitting on the huge bed that I feel about the size of an ant in, I pick up my phone and unlock the screen and type a reply.

  Thank you. I will make other arrangements tomorrow. Goodnight, Ryder.

  I am sure that is going to go over really well.

  He replies.

  C ya when I get there

  Well, I know that he won’t be seeing me. I just need to admit to myself that I still love him and I want to be with him. But a part of me wants to run and the other part of me wants to stay. Picking up my cell phone, I pull up the number for the only person that I know besides Ryder or Peggy Sue that would tell me the truth.

  “Hello?” I hear Layla’s groggy voice on the other end of the line. Shit, it’s late there.

  “Hi,” I say in a small voice.

  “Faith, baby. What’s the matter? Ryder called me earlier.” She has always been so observant when it comes to things with me.

  “Oh, he did?”

  “Yeah, called me and said that he got to see you and that he is now going to be patched as the new Prez of Dueling Dragons. He said that you guys were really excited and happy to be back together.” She sighs. I can hear it through the phone even. She doesn’t believe it. “But…” Oh shit, here it comes. “I know my brother. He’s a fucking liar. He doesn’t want me to worry. So what’s going on, honey?” Over the next ten minutes, I tell her everything that happened.

  “If I was there, I would beat the shit out of my brother. He has no right to do that to you! I know that he would never hurt you, so I think your thoughts are right about there being something wrong. Do I need to come down there and kick his ass?” she asks with a little hint of laughter to her voice.

  “No, you don’t have to do that. But seriously, what should I do?”

  “Well, the first thing you’re going to do is get your ass to sleep. Then, in the morning, you are going to find your old man and fuck the shit out of him.” She laughs even harder than before. “After you do that, you guys are going to talk and figure your shit out.” She yawns on the other end, which makes me yawn. “If that doesn’t work, then you call me and I come kick his ass.” She laughs again. “And on that note, goo
d night, honey. I miss you guys. Let me know what’s going on with Ryder taking over as Prez; this way we can plan things. I love you guys.”

  I crawl underneath the covers of this ridiculously huge bed and I’m hit with Ryder’s smell. I bury my face in the pillow and start to cry a little bit. That’s it. Tomorrow, I am going to talk to my man and get some answers.

  ****

  Ryder

  I am broken and my life is no longer what it once was. I am a changed man. The past few months I have visited Hell and returned with a new conviction about myself and the man I am. Either she understands, and promises to stand behind me and the choices I have to make in life, or she move on without me. I have a responsibility to the Dueling Dragons brotherhood first and foremost now.

  I can still hear her parting words that she hates me burning through me as she walked out the door. Out the fucking door without a look back.

  Fuck this. I need to work out this frustration and feel the inner pain. I decide to go for a ride and then hit up the gym in town. I need to feel my fist hitting flesh. I need that adrenaline high I get from fighting. It makes me feel alive and in tune with myself. I need to feel the wind at my back and just get away. It’s been months since I rode hard.

  Zig and the boys left this morning on a run, so it’s a solo ride, I guess. I grab my shit and head out the door. I look back at the office. I still see Faith standing there, afraid of me. The memory of it burns through me.

  I had the world at my feet before this nightmare transpired. My woman has lost her trust in me, my brother has betrayed me, and I have a son that I never knew existed. My life is fucked up and I just need to numb the pain. I need to ride and I need to fight. I’ve had a load of responsibility dumped on me, and I didn’t fucking ask for it, but it’s mine to handle now.

  As I walk out to the common area of the club, I notice Peggy sitting on a couch holding her kid. It hits me because of Bambi and Flem, I’ve lost those years with my son and I can never get them back. Fucking selfish people have always tried to dictate my life. First my father, and now Bambi and Flem. I trust no one at this point. I am on my own.

  I start up my bike and release the throttle. When I return I have to bite the bullet and take over this fucking place and decide who’s with me and who’s not. Those that are not on board with the new leadership can piss off.

  When I arrive at the gym, Fat Boy’s bike in the parking lot. Fuck, is there no escaping them today? I decide to go in and just let loose in the ring for a few hours. I’ve caged the beast within me for too long. I need to let it out and let it howl. Fat Boy is busy working out and lifting weights when I walk in, so I nod and walk over to the ring to find a sparring partner. There’s a guy who can fit me into his schedule in about thirty minutes. I decide to tape my hands and work out on the punching bag to unleash some built up anger.

  I walk over to the bag, put in my iPod, and hit play. The first song up is Five Finger Death Punch’s “Coming Down,” which is a great song is considering how dark I feel right now. I crank it up and begin to warm up on the bag and increase my rhythm along to the beat of the music, letting myself go. I take myself away from the thoughts of Faith, of Bambi and Flem’s betrayal, of having to become a father. I feel so pulled under.

  I let the lyrics of the song take me away to a place where I feel balanced and the guilt I feel over hurting Faith is hidden. I feel as though I’m trapped and I can’t escape no matter which way I turn. I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is on the horizon. I try to shake it off and work the bag.

  After about twenty minutes of working out my frustration on the bag, the dude that I reserved some time with to spar with me lets me know he’s ready for me. I towel my face; I’ve worked up a good sweat. I feel like I’ve put some of the negative feelings behind for now.

  I decide to jump into the ring and we go over the ground rules for his sparing help. I hate fuckers that put rules on shit. I just want to fight and feel my fists hitting flesh. I don’t fight with any particular style. Somebody in the gym turns on music and “Broken” by Seether is playing. I close my eyes to center myself because this is the way I feel right now. I feel the pain. It makes me relive those days I was locked away and missing Faith. I thrived on the hurt and the loneliness of not having her. I channeled those feelings and I could take pain, feel it, and make it work to my own advantage. Now, the pain just sits there, festering inside of me. I don’t know how to channel it, other than to fight my demons within me.

  My training partner and I meet in the middle of the ring, bump knuckles, and I come out raging. After one hit, he’s down and out cold. Fuck. Why did I do that? I walk over to him and give him a little kick. Nothing.

  The gym manager jumps up to check the dude out and looks at me. “What the fuck did you do, man?”

  I shrug. “I only hit him once.”

  The manager shakes his head and pulls out a vial of smelling salts to revive the guy. He pops it open and runs it under my partner’s nose. They guy comes to, very slowly. He looks around, dazed and confused. The manager sits him up and the dude seems to be okay.

  I decide I need to get the hell out of here. I jump out of the ring and begin to unwrap my hands of the tape. I look up and Fat Boy walking toward me. “Dude, what the fuck did you do to that guy?”

  I shrug. “One hit and he went down.”

  Fat Boy shakes his head and just looks at me with wonder in his eyes. I look over at the guy in the ring with the manager. He’ll be okay, so I turn to leave.

  “See ya back at the club, brother.”

  Fat Boy nods and goes back to working out. He may be skinny but he’s all muscle, and I know he works out here every day. I think I need to get myself into a regular routine and hopefully find a trainer to keep my skills up. I’m not sure if I want to walk away from fighting every now and then. The money is good and it’s fast and easy.

  I head out to my bike and think about Faith. I wonder how she’s feeling. I know I frightened her earlier. I had so many things bottled up and I just couldn’t hold them in anymore. When she took the ring off, she gutted me. She fucking ripped my heart out and handed it back to me with that ring in her hand.

  I don’t know if we can fix us. She won’t look at the whole picture. It was all supposed to be simple. Run the cargo, deliver it, and walk away. But that all went to shit when I got arrested. I’m just glad that I made Zig and Flem break protocol and get the fuck out before they got busted, too. That was my fight not theirs.

  I decide it’s time to hit the open road for a few hours and then make my way back to Faith and try to work it out with her. I am hoping a little distance will help us both.

  It’s nearly five hours later when I pull into the compound after a long ride. It’s dark and I notice Ziggy’s bike. I know he and the guys are probably gearing up for a run in the morning. I’m not ready for that yet. I’m also not in the mood to talk to him yet. I need to figure out what to do with Flem first.

  We need to call a church meeting when they get back and get this shit moving. I plan to bring Zig in as the club VP. I want to freeze out those not on board with the new law. For now, though, I just need to go have a beer, unwind a bit, and find Faith to hold her close. I need to feel her, to hear her breathing against me.

  I walk into the main room and see Flem sitting with Fat Boy and Tank. I walk past him, not acknowledging his presence. I look around, but I don’t see Faith or Peggy. I figure they’re both asleep by now.

  I walk up to the bar and tell the chick serving tonight to grab me a beer. She pops the top and sets the bottle down in front of me. She’s eying me up and down. “So you need someone to blow off some steam with tonight?” She stands there pushing her tits out and pulls her lip out to pout. I shake my head. With power comes groupies.

  “No thanks darlin. I am going to saddle up with my woman later and spend some time with her.”

  She scoffs at me. “Woman? You mean that little redhead? Shit, Ryder, she ain’t our kind. You n
eed a real woman.” She’s eying me like a piece of meat.

  “Look, bitch, I ain’t interested. I said I have a woman, and whether she’s our kind or not ain’t none of your fucking business. I better never hear anything about her out of your mouth again or you’re gonna be sorry. You feel me?”

  She backs up and nods and turns to open the fridge and turn her back to me.

  I grab my beer and walk away, leaving her there to pout. I walk over to Flem’s table and set my beer down. He and Tank stop talking mid-sentence. Flem looks at me.

  “Yeah, that’s right, motherfucker, you better be worried about me. I ain’t done with you, brother. I am going to let the Knights decide your fucking fate during a church meeting real soon. If they say you’re out, then you’re handing in your cut and walking away. If they say you stay, you’re gonna tow the fucking line around here. No one betrays me without contrition. You fucking get what I am saying?”

  He stands up and we are eye to eye. I knew he wouldn’t back down from me, but he’s going to learn to fucking respect my authority. He snorts and burps in my face. “Yeah, Ry, I feel ya. Whatever they decide, I will live with it.” I don’t want to fight him tonight. I am just worn out and ready to move forward. I am sick of the bullshit.

  I down my beer and nod to Tank. “Safe run tomorrow. Church when you return. Tell Zig for me.” He nods.

  I walk toward my room. I need her. I turn the handle to the door and walk in. There she is. Asleep on my bed. She’s curled up on top of the blanket, so I reach over and grab a throw off the chair and place it over her. She wiggles into the blanket and sighs.

  I can tell she’s been crying. Her beautiful red hair is damp where her tears have fallen. I fucking hate this. I hate that I can’t be the sweet man she wants me to be. I have a life to live that was chosen for me. I love living the lifestyle, but I was never sure that I wanted to stay connected to this club for the rest of my life. My pops pretty much guaranteed I would forever be tied to the Dueling Dragons. Now that Prez is gone, I have to step up and become the leader that he and Pops expected me to become. I didn’t ask for this life but it’s mine. I hope Faith can accept it and what responsibilities it would entail for her.