I pee on the test, then push the cap back on, and throw it back in the little box it came in and put it back in the bag. If Peggy wants to know so damn bad, she can touch the nasty thing.
After washing my hands and slipping the pee soaked test into my purse, I make my way out of the bathroom.
“Well, did you take it?” Peggy asks as I take my seat at the table. I take my purse off my shoulder and slide into the booth.
“Yes, I peed on that thing. I still feel gross. I think I got piss on my hand.”
She starts to laugh, I look across the table and start to think that I could be her in a couple months. Holy shit! What am I going to do? Am I really ready for a baby? Is Ryder ready for a baby? Will we live here or will we live in Kentucky? I have so many questions running through my head that it’s starting to give me a headache.
“Have you looked at the test yet? What are you going to do if it comes up that you are…you know…pregnant?” She hesitates at the end.
“I don’t really know. I just know that I am not going through what I went through when I was pregnant before. It is just so strange; I have been on the Pill this whole time.”
I look over the menu; everything on it looks amazing but revolting at the same time. I realize I’m not going to be able to eat until I know if I am pregnant or not. I’m just about to tell Peggy that I will be back when a server steps up to the table.
“Hi ladies! Good afternoon, my name is Tracy and I will be your server today. What can I get started for you guys?” She looks between the two of us. Tucker is sitting in his carseat drooling everywhere with a huge gummy smile on his face.
“I’ll get the ranch burger with no onions and a strawberry milkshake,” Pegs orders. I know that I am supposed to say something, but I can’t get my lips to move. “Faith, do you know what you want to eat?” She reaches over and touches my hand. I drop my head and start to cry, in the middle of the diner, with the server standing right there.
“I’ll give y’all a few minutes,” I hear her say and Peggy thanks her.
“What am I going to do, Pegs? I just know I’m pregnant. I just know it!” I start to cry a little bit harder. “Ryder is a biker; he is an outlaw. Look at the life he leads. He wants me to stand behind him like he is some god or something.”
She starts to snicker a little bit and I snap my head up to look at her.
“Faith, where is that test?”
I grab the paper bag out of my purse and hand it to her under the table. She grabs the bag and I hear her wrestling with it to get the box out. I see her looking down. She smiles. A tear runs down her cheek. She covers her mouth with her hand and starts to do a cry laugh.
“Faith, you’re going to be a mommy,” she says to me and stands up to give me a hug.
“I’m gonna… I’m gonna… be… a mom…,” I stutter out. can feel the vomit in my throat. “Excuse me, Peggy!” I push her away from me and scramble to my feet and run for the bathroom.
****
After throwing up for ten minutes in the bathroom, Peggy decides that it’s best to get our food to go. She orders her burger and a salad for me. We leave the diner and find a park along the side of the road with a covered area, deciding to pull over and talk before we get back to the compound. I need to figure out how I am going to tell Ryder and what the plan is going to be. I know that I don’t want to raise my child around a bunch of bikers. That is scary enough for me to want to live around them but having a small child around this lifestyle is something else.
“So, now that we know that you’re pregnant, how do you want to do this? Are you going to tell Ryder right away or are you going to wait? Are we still going to Kentucky or are we going to stay here?” Here she goes firing questions at me again.
“Peg, shut the hell up for two seconds so I can think!” I snap at her. “I guess I will have to tell Ryder and see what he wants to do, but I would feel so much better and safer if we just went back to Kentucky. I mean, does Ryder really have to take over as president?” She looks clueless. “I don’t know why I am asking you; you know about as much as I know. What the hell am I going to do?” I start to sob a little again. “Am I seriously going to be this emotional the whole time?” I look over at my best friend as she bounces her babbling son on her knee.
“It all depends on the woman, Faith, but I know that you’re always moody so what is the big difference?” She smiles at me. She is trying to make me feel better about the situation and I thank my lucky stars that I have her back in my life right now. I couldn’t imagine going through all of this without her.
“So, are you wanting to stay here or do you want to go with me if I decide that is the best thing to do?” It’s an honest question and I wanted an honest answer.
“I am glad to get the hell out of here whenever you are. Just let me know.”
****
We arrive back at the clubhouse and I see that Ryder and Ziggy’s bikes are gone. I guess if Ryder actually wanted to work on things he would be the big man and come find me.
You need to tell him! I need to shut my brain up for two minutes. I want some peace and quiet, even if it is from my own thoughts. I look around the room as we walk in and see Tank putting up a new jukebox. Marko is behind the bar mixing a few drinks and handing beers to a few guys that I’ve never met before but they’re patched.
All of the guys stop talking the second we enter the room.
“What? Have you guys never seen two ‘normal’ girls in this place?” One of the club whores gives me the stink eye. “What, honey? Look at you and look at me?” Marko and a few guys laugh. “Marko, if you see your uncle, please tell him I need to talk to him.”
He nods his head at me. I turn on my heels and follow Peggy down the hall towards Ziggy and Ryder’s rooms.
Peggy is the first to break the silence between us. “Well, let me know what you decide. Just remember that he needs to know, and the sooner the better.” She brushes the hair out of my face all motherly like. She turns Tucker toward me. “Say ni night to Auntie Faith, Tuck.”
I lean over to the slobber faced baby with the huge blue eyes and giant smile. “Night, baby boy. Auntie loves you. Night, Pegs.”
I say turning towards Ryder’s door but I stop before I enter the room. “Hey, also. Thanks for today.” She smiles at me. “Anytime. That’s what best friends are for. Goodnight.” She shuts the bedroom door and I open the door to Ryder’s room.
I walk over to the bed, setting down my purse. I decide that I need a long bath. I gather all of my clothes and bath items together and walk into the huge bathroom. Starting the bathtub, I squeeze a little bit of my body wash in the tub causing bubbles to start to form. Stripping out of my clothes, I step into the bath and slowly lower myself.
After what seems like a lifetime, I decide that I am wrinkly enough to get out of my now lukewarm retreat. Sliding on my yoga pants, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and rub my hand over my stomach.
“Well, little pod. It’s me, Faith Anne, your mommy. I am promising you right now that you’re going to have an amazing and wonderful life. A life full of love and hope. Your father and I love you very much, my little pod.” I start to laugh a little bit when I feel the tear coming down my cheek. “Look at your mommy, getting all emotional talking to herself. Well, I am really talking to you, my little pod. That’s what I will call you, mommy’s little pod.” I smile to myself in the mirror and rub my stomach a little more. “It’s you and mommy against the world.”
****
Ryder
When I got back to the club, I notice that Faith’s car is outside. It’s time. We need to talk it out and find each other. It is time for us to come to terms with the changes in our lives.
I walk through the club to seek her out. She’s in my room, sitting on my bed, listening to her iPod. She doesn’t see me in the doorway. I could never grow tired of her beauty. I am about to walk in and let her know I’m back, but she looks up and catches me staring at her. Her eyes lock wi
th mine; neither one of us says anything for a minute.
I break the silence. “Hey. I’m back and decided I needed to get back here and talk things through with you. I realize I wasn’t very calm yesterday. I am sorry if I scared you, baby.” I hold my hand out. “Wanna take a walk with me?”
She takes off the ear buds and throws her legs over the side of the bed. She slips on her shoes, gets up off the bed, and walks toward me. Her head is down and she looks defeated. I pull her into my arms.
“Baby, I am so sorry. I need you. Please walk with me. We need to talk this out.” She doesn’t say anything, just nods. I step back away from her, lean in and kiss her forehead, then grab her by the hand and lead her outside.
It looks like it might rain. The clouds are darkening up and the wind has picked up some. I have a tight hold on Faith’s hand. We walk along in silence. She occasionally glances up toward me but she isn’t talking. I pray this is reparable. I can’t imagine my life without her, although I approached it the wrong way yesterday. I dropped everything on her and not in a good way. I was hurting inside, and felt unable to cope with all of it. I don’t know if we can get back to where we once were, but I have to try. I realized that Faith is my light, and my everything. It’s been a shitty time for me lately but she doesn’t deserve the worst of me.
It’s easy for me to fall into my own darkness and push those closest to me away. It’s what I do. When the shit reigns down on me, it’s a coping mechanism buried deep within my core.
We walk toward the back of the property; I stop and pull her close to me. I let my arms envelop her body. I breathe in deep and bury my nose in her hair. She smells so fresh and sweet. Her scent is so distinctive. I remember thinking of her scent when the Russians had me locked away from everyone. It kept me going. Thoughts of her kept me going. Now, here she is back in my arms, and I don’t know if she’s truly here with me or not. She hasn’t said much, I decide I need to come out and say it.
“Faith, you know I love you, right?” She doesn’t respond, but I feel her shudder in my arms. “Baby, please talk to me. I know I hurt you, but I acted in anger. I shouldn’t have been so cold and unfeeling. I’ve had so much happen.” I rest my chin on top of her head. “We need to work past this and move on, together. I have huge changes happening in my life and I need you by my side. You feel me, baby?” I kiss the top of her head, work my lips down to hers, and take her mouth with mine. She stiffens up on me. I know she’s still angry, but I continue to softly kiss her lips, willing her to open up to me.
The sky above opens up and the rain pelts down on us. She lets out a small scream and then a laugh. It’s music to my ears. I pull away from her, look into her eyes, and smile. She laughs again as the rain drenches us both. She breaks away from me, running around like a maniac. I love the sight of her silliness and innocence. It’s what drew me to her from the beginning. She’s a special girl, and she is mine. I don’t know why I deserve her, but my life would be a much darker place without her.
We’re both soaked but I think this might be the point where we’ve freed some of the tension between us. I walk toward her as she runs around, dancing and skipping in circles and jumping into mud puddles. I scoop her up, bend my head down, and kiss her long and gentle. Her eyes flutter open and she yawns.
“I think I wore myself out playing in the rain.”
“I think we need to get in out of the rain and change into something dry. I don’t need you getting sick.” She gives me an angelic smile, and I feel like we’ve made a good turn to getting back to one another. I rush us back into the club. As I walk in holding Faith, all eyes are on us. I grunt out, “What the hell? Ain’t you boys ever seen a man holding his woman before?” They all look away and pretend to be busy with other things.
I walk Faith down to our room. I slowly put her down and let her slide along my body. I walk over to the iPod docking station and turn on some music. The first song to come up is “Lines” by Jaded Mary, the Seattle based alternative rock band. I love this song. I bought their song on ITunes and I have been saving it for Faith.
I walk over to Faith and slowly brush my lips against hers. I reach around and pull her to me.
I push up the hem of her shirt and slide it up and over her head. It drops to the floor. I make my way down to her neck with my mouth. Trailing light kisses down her face to the crook of her neck, I unfasten her bra and let it slide down her arms, onto the floor. She shivers and I brush my lips over her naked shoulder and work my way down to her breasts. They seem a little bigger than the last time we were together.
I draw her pink, rosy nipple into my mouth and she hisses out through her teeth. She throws her head back; I move back up to her neck, kissing and licking her skin. I move my hands down, squeeze her breasts and pinch at her nipples. She lets out a little gasp, as if it might be too painful. I back off a little and look at her. She whispers to me, “Don’t worry, you just caught me off guard. Please, continue, Ryder.” The music is building up and I can feel her responding to my touches.
I reach down, slide her shorts and panties down her legs, and let them fall to the floor. She stands before me, a beautiful sight to take in, naked and exposed. I pull off my clothing and need to feel her next to me, skin-to-skin. I pick her up and take her to the bed. I need to be inside of her soon. It’s been too long.
She looks me in the eye and reaches up to touch my face. “Ryder, I have a surprise for you on my back. It’s something I did for me, to express the changes in my life.” She moves, turns her back to me, and I see the most beautiful tattoo of a butterfly on her back shoulder. I can’t believe she got ink. I use my hand and trace the outline of it with my finger. It hits me then, the lyrics in the Jaded Mary song are ringing true at this moment. It sends shivers up my spine. It’s as if we were destined for our lives to cross, and the song was made for us. It strikes me with a strong feeling to make love to her. I don’t need to just fuck her, I need to express my feelings with my body.
I lay her back, letting my tongue explore her body, and I take my time doing it. She lets out a gasp or two as the pleasure overcomes her. I don’t want to take anything from her tonight. I need to give to her. To let her feel how much I love her. I can’t express these feelings in words. I let my body talk to hers.
I reach the apex of her womanhood; I stop and breathe in her scent. I could stay here, like this, forever. I use my hand to open her legs wide for me. I take in the sight of her mound. It’s glistening. She’s ready for me, but it’s not time yet. I use my tongue and bring her pleasure with my mouth. I feel her shaking under me and hear her gasping for air as she floats to her place of pleasure. I want to sink myself deep inside of her, but I need to get her over that point of ecstasy that a woman longs for from her man.
I usually like to have women submit to me as I dominate, but I’ve never had this need with Faith. I bask in her body, having her close to me. That brings me the most pleasure. I use my mouth on her sweet tender folds. I push two fingers into her while sucking on her clit. She cries out and I know she’s close to coming undone. Licking and sucking her precious spot makes me rock hard.
Faith holds onto the comforter with both hands as her body moves up and down in rhythm. I crook my fingers inside of her to hit her G-spot and suck her swollen clit. As soon as I do this, she arches off the bed and screams out my name, coming undone for me.
I crawl up the bed to her, take her face into my hands, and kiss her hard. I am ready to love her, right here and right now. “Baby, you still on the Pill?” Her eyes flash at me, as if she needs to say something, but it disappears quickly and she nods. “Good, I don’t want anything to come between us tonight. With everything going down in our lives, we sure don’t need a baby to complicate things, right?”
She stiffens under me. Did I piss her off? She just lies there looking up at me, not saying anything. You okay, baby?”
She sighs and nods. “Yeah, I am okay. I am just thinking about the future some. Make love to me, Ryder.”
I look at her face and kiss her deeply again. I want her to know that I’m here to love her and take care of her. I use my leg to open her up for me. I grab my dick and rub it back and forth over her clit, which is still swollen and sensitive. She jumps a little and I slowly enter her. I let myself fill her. She is moaning and God, she feels so welcoming to my cock. Her pussy is so warm and slick as I slide in, letting my girth fill her.
We develop a comfortable rhythm with one another. I am in and out of her, pumping myself. I feel her getting wetter with each thrust. She starts to tighten up around my cock and I know she’s getting ready to come. I lean down and take one of her nipples into my mouth as I continue to pump her pussy. Just as I feel like I can’t take much more of the pleasure she’s provoking in me. As I give her one last thrust, she screams out my name. I feel her contracting around my cock. I can’t hold back anymore, and I shoot off deep inside of her as I nuzzle her neck, yelling her name.
I turn over and roll to my back, bringing Faith with me. I lay her over my chest and cover us up, nestling into her and holding her tight.
“Babe, that was spectacular. God, I missed you so much. I thought of you often. I fantasized about you a time or two, too. Remind me to tell you about the fantasy of you on my hog. It was hot.”
She giggles and I can tell her she’s starting to drift off to sleep in my arms. It’s been a very emotional day or two for her. I hold my woman and look forward to the future we will have.
Epilogue -
Tank
It’s my night to play club night watchman, so I set up in the back of the place hugging a bottle of beer and my trusted shotgun Char. She reminds me of a sweet little piece of ass I had back in the day. I should have married that one. She looked fine as hell on a bike. She always tried to be my protector and that’s why I fondly named my gun after her.
Ryder's Last Run (Dueling Dragons MC Series) Page 20
