by M. D. Massey
“When can I see her again?”
The nurse finished what she was writing and turned to face me. “She should be transferred out of ICU tomorrow morning. You can see her as much as you like then. In fact, she’ll probably need someone to help her once she’s moved to the post-surgical floor.”
I thanked her and went out to find Finn. He was sitting in the ICU waiting room, chatting up an attractive middle-aged black woman. At first I thought he was flirting, then I realized he was comforting her. Wonders never ceased.
I waited for a lull in their conversation before I approached. Finn patted the lady on the hand, and handed her a box of tissues. She took one and wiped her eyes, smearing a bit of her mascara.
“Thank you for the kind words, Mr. Murphy.” She spoke with an accent that might have been Caribbean or African; I couldn’t identify it.
“Don’t mention it, Mrs. Akinjide. Your husband will be fine, I’m certain of it.”
Finn squeezed her hand, then begged to be excused when he saw me approach. She smiled kindly as he left. I led Finn into the hallway so we could talk away from the quiet of the ICU waiting room.
He pointed a thumb over his shoulder. “Lovely woman. Husband was in a car accident, sole provider for the family. Cervical injury. They’ll end up with a hell of a settlement from the insurance, but doesn’t do them much good until then.”
I squinted one eye shut. “Not to be a downer, but are you sure it’s the best thing to be giving her false hope?”
Finn frowned. “False hope? I snuck into the guy’s room and spent the better part of thirty minutes healing him. Doctors will say it’s a miracle, but you and I will know better.”
I shook my head. “Glad to have you back, old man.”
He sneered and waved my comment off. “It was nothing. Makes me sorry I can’t do it for everyone, but magic always has a price. Speaking of which, I am dead on my feet and famished, so if you’re alright by yourself I’ll be taking my leave. There’s a bag of breakfast tacos and the back seat of a van calling my name.”
“Thanks, Finn. And sorry for leaving you here so long.”
His eyes narrowed with a frown, then he smiled and winked. “Blew off some steam, did we? Well, I heard about it already. Maeve has people everywhere, you know. One of her goons came by to give me an earful, something about you disrespecting their queen. Bah! Back in my day a druid could give anyone a good verbal drubbing, kings and queens included. We were respected back then. I told him to stuff it, but don’t be surprised if they hold it against you.”
“Noted. Now, go get some rest, and thanks again.”
He began to walk off and gave me a parting glance over his shoulder. “Don’t do anything stupid. I mean, nothing that’s more stupid than calling out a faery queen on her own turf.”
“Double-noted. I’ll see you back at the junkyard tomorrow, after Bells gets transferred out of ICU.”
He tipped an imaginary hat and left. I took a few deep breaths to settle the impotent rage I still felt. On the one hand, I was relieved that Bells was going to be alright. But on the other hand, saying I was pissed was an understatement. If I’d had a line on whoever our bad actor was, I’d have been long gone and on my way to do some damage.
But I was still just as clueless as I’d been when this whole thing had begun. So I stuffed my rage way down deep and walked back in the ICU waiting room, knowing my time would come soon. And when it did, I’d be ready to square things up with the responsible party—on my terms.
Chapter Twenty-One
I must’ve dozed off, because when I woke the shadows in the waiting room were longer, and Sabine was sitting across from me.
“Welcome back to the land of the living.”
I wiped a hand across my face and rubbed my eyes. “How long you been here?”
She shrugged. “A few hours. You were asleep when I got here, so I spoke with one of the nurses and snuck a look at Belladonna’s chart.”
“How’d you manage that?”
The corner of her mouth turned up slightly as she tilted her head and arched an eyebrow. “She’s one of Maeve’s. After the stunt you pulled last night, she decided to plant someone here. I’m guessing it’s both to keep an eye on you, and to keep Belladonna safe—you know, so the walking magical A-bomb doesn’t start a countdown.”
I nodded and took a deep breath. “Huh. I don’t know if I should be thankful or upset about that.”
She squeezed one eye shut and pulled her lips sideways. “I’d go with thankful, considering you insulted the local faery queen and managed to escape with your life.”
“Okay, point taken.” I chose my next words carefully. “So are you here checking on me, or on Belladonna? I know you two don’t exactly see eye to eye.”
She crossed her legs and adjusted the loose floral peasant skirt she was wearing, placing both hands on a knee as she leaned forward and looked me in the eye.
“Let’s just clear the air right now, okay?” She marked each item by ticking off her fingers, one by one. “One—I know you slept with Belladonna, and I’m not mad at you about it. Two—that being said, you should have told me, instead of waiting around for me to hear about it through the grapevine. And three—we’re friends, we’ve always been friends, and we’re always going to be friends. Nothing is going to change that. Even if you were being a bit of a shit, and borderline leading me on.”
I forced myself to maintain eye contact, even though I didn’t want to. “Okay, I deserved that. Worse, in fact. Sorry.”
“Colin, what you fail to see is that I have a different perspective on our friendship than you do. Yes, I’m attracted to you, and I’m not going to deny it. But the fact is, you’ll be dead and gone in 60 years or so, and I’ll still be around. So, while I care about you deeply, there’s no way I’d allow myself to fall in love with you. None.”
I really didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything. Sabine said it convincingly enough, but I’d be a fool to miss the hint of longing in her voice.
Then, she cracked a smile and winked at me. “Besides, you really, really needed to get laid.”
I laughed and bowed my head. “No comment. But thanks for being here, Sabine.”
“Where else would I be? Like I said, friends, now and always.” We both looked at each other, then away. An uncomfortable silence followed.
I decided to change the subject. “So—what did you find out when you looked at Belladonna’s chart?”
“Well, I’m no doctor, so I had to ask Maeve’s plant to decipher it for me. According to what she told me, a thin piece of metal had entered Belladonna’s abdomen and pierced her liver. She had severe internal bleeding, and it was a miracle she made it.”
“A druid miracle. Finn showed up and worked his juju while she was coding. I’m pretty sure that’s what saved her.”
Sabine chewed her lip. “That had to be some heavy-duty magic, Colin. Nothing like that comes without a price.”
“The old man mentioned something to that effect. He healed some dude with a spinal cord injury too. Makes me wonder what’s gotten into him.”
She shook her head. “How much do you really know about druid magic? I mean, I know you trained under Finn, but how deep did your training go?”
“Not very. I always preferred bashing skulls over casting magic, so we focused most of my training there. Besides, that’s pretty much how the druids have always trained hunters, or so I’m told.”
“Makes sense. So you never trained in any advanced magic—not even in theory?”
“Nope. I mean, I know about that stuff, and we discussed some high-level magical theory, but just in the general sense.”
She nodded. “I think you need to talk to Finn. Something’s not right if he’s throwing around magic like that. Especially in his current condition.”
“I don’t get what the big deal is.”
“C’mon, Colin. You know where fae magic users get their power.”
I rolled m
y eyes. “Sure, from the Underrealms. Every two-bit hedge wizard knows that.”
“And human magic users don’t have access to that pool of magic, so they have to gather and store magic in foci and power sinks.”
“Yeah, or barter for it with powerful supernatural creatures, if they’re really that dumb. So what?”
“Colin, think! How much power do you suppose it takes to bring someone back from the brink of death? Like, a crap-ton. That’s why almost all serious necromancy requires animal or human sacrifices. And even then, the best they can manage is the semblance of life. All fae know this, which is why hardly any of us mess with that stuff. Even with access to the Underrealms, we still can’t create life—we can only exchange it. Do you see what I’m getting at?”
“Sabine, be for real here. You’re telling me Finn used his own energy to heal Belladonna and the guy with the spinal cord injury?”
“Maybe not the guy—as old as he is, he could probably manage that using an external power source. But saving Belladonna? Definitely.”
I sat back in my chair, dumbstruck.
Sabine nodded slowly. “Now you get why it concerns me.”
“Shit. But why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, but you need to talk to him to find out what’s up.”
“I feel like an idiot for not knowing this.”
She smiled. “Yes, you’re an idiot, but I don’t hold it against you. Now, let’s go find the cafeteria. I seem to be experiencing an inexplicable craving for lime Jello.”
We sat across from each other in the hospital cafeteria. I had destroyed two burgers and an order of fries, and was close to finishing a bowl of ice cream. Sabine, on the other hand, was still picking at her lime Jello.
“I don’t know why they think adding pear slices improves the flavor. Lime Jello is perfect all on its own.”
I ate my ice cream in silence. I’d been thinking about Belladonna for most of our meal, and how it’d been my fault she’d been injured.
Sabine placed a warm hand on my wrist. “Colin, you need to stop blaming yourself for what happened. It’s not your fault.”
I tossed the spoon into the bowl, suddenly realizing I was no longer hungry.
“That’s what everyone always says. But you know what? If I hadn’t taken that job from Luther, Belladonna wouldn’t be lying in the ICU right now. And if I had just marched my happy ass away from everyone after what happened to Jesse, you’d never have been kidnapped, Bells would be fine right now, and you all would’ve been a lot better off. Not to mention safer.
“It all boils down to choices, Sabine. And I keep making the wrong ones.”
“Colin, everyone makes mistakes. And in your case, I don’t think the mistakes you’ve made have been that bad, considering the circumstances. So you’re cursed—totally not your fault. And so you’re dangerous, too. Big whoop! As far as I can tell, after that first event the only time your curse has kicked in was when you were on the brink of death.”
“Yeah, so?”
She pinched me on the wrist, hard. “So, dummy—maybe you’re not as dangerous to other people as you think. All this time since Jesse died, you’ve been convincing yourself that you’re a mortal danger to everyone around you. But I don’t think that’s the case. Sure, you’re dangerous as all hell when your curse kicks in, but I think you’re more like a nuclear warhead than nitroglycerin.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, until someone flips your switch, you’re perfectly inert. Think about it. The first time it happened you were facing down a demon that turned out to be way out of your league.”
I propped my head on one hand and trailed my finger through a drop of melted ice cream. “Yeah, but I don’t see what that has to do with what happened.”
Sabine shook her head and rolled her eyes. “You seriously never worked this out on your own? Colin, you were set up from the start. Fuamnach cursed you right before you went into that cave after the Caoránach, precisely because she knew you were outmatched. She knew the fight would trigger the curse.”
I pushed myself away from the table. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“You’ll need to face up to it eventually, Colin. Not only did Fuamnach place that curse on you, she also manipulated events so you’d immediately transform. The question you really need to ask yourself is why.”
“Isn’t it obvious, Sabine? She was trying to get back at Finn. I mean, those two have been feuding for millennia.”
She tapped her spoon on the edge of the styrofoam bowl. “It has to go deeper than that. Why curse you? She could have just tracked you down and killed you outright. No, there’s some reason why she needed you to be cursed. I think there’s a much bigger game going on here, but we simply don’t have enough information to see what it is.
“And besides that, I think it’s time you stopped playing the victim. What’s done is done. You need to quit feeling sorry for yourself, and start thinking about how to get in front of what she has planned. It’s time to stop being the pawn and get your head in the game—otherwise the people around you are just going to keep getting hurt.”
I sat, stunned, and processed what she’d said. She was right; I had been playing the victim. It was a role that I’d accepted, and one that I’d grown quite comfortable playing. But all it had gotten me was trouble and pain, because by playing the victim I’d fallen into passivity. And nobody ever won a fight by playing defense.
I pulled my chair close to the table again, placing my elbows on the surface as I leaned in. “You’re right, I’m being a total pussy about this. About everything.”
She smiled and crossed her arms. “Well, I wasn’t going to say it.”
“Yeah, well—maybe you should have.”
“Meh, you have enough to deal with without being insulted. But you’ve been hiding from this thing long enough. You need to stop allowing yourself to be manipulated, and start controlling your destiny again.”
“Time to become the hunter instead of the prey.”
“Exactly.”
“The cat and not the mouse.”
“Sure—”
“The windshield instead of the bug.”
“Colin—”
“The boot instead of the butt—”
She reached across the table and slapped her hand over my mouth. “Enough already! I can see you get the point.”
I winked at her and peeled her hand off my face. “Since you seemed to want to drive your point home, I figured the least I could do was reciprocate.”
“You’re a dick.”
“All part of my boyish charm.”
Sabine flicked a glob of green Jello at me, and it splatted right in my eye. I licked a stray fleck off my lip, and she giggled as I made a face.
“Man, you weren’t kidding about the pears.”
Maeve’s undercover nurse-slash-spy found us in the ICU waiting room a few hours later, and let us know that Bells was being transferred out of the ICU. She was friendly enough with Sabine, but snide and short in responding to my questions. Apparently, by insulting Maeve, I’d pissed off the entire fae contingent, save Sabine. Fantastic.
We waited around for a few minutes while the staff got Bells settled into her new room. Then we headed up the stairs to the fifth floor, foregoing the elevator because Sabine said she hated them.
“Enclosed spaces and strangers? No can do,” she explained. So, the stairs it was.
I opened the door to the stairwell to find Gunnarson and two of his goons waiting for me. As usual, they were dressed in the latest “tacti-cool” fashion—cargo pants in muted, neutral colors, tight lycra shirts, and digital camo field jackets with lots of pockets and zippers. Combat boots rounded out the look, but at least they hadn’t gone so far as to tuck their pants in their boots. I had to give them credit for showing at least some restraint.
I glanced over my shoulder and addressed Sabine. “You can head on up—I’ll be right there.”
She nodded and broke
eye contact, rushing up the stairs to get away from Gunnarson and his Iron Circle cronies as fast as she could. Gunnarson and one of the goons watched her go, while the third just looked confused. Since he couldn’t see through Sabine’s see-me-not spell, I figured he was either their muscle or a newb.
Gunnarson spat tobacco juice toward the far corner of the stairwell. “Fucking fae. I don’t know why you hold truck with those faery bastards, McCool. Being as how they ruined your life and all.”
“Oh, I don’t—she’s about the only one I can stand.”
He tongued a molar. “’Cept Maeve. From what I hear, you’re developing quite the cozy relationship with her. After that stunt you pulled, well—I’m surprised you’re not a lampshade in her parlor.”
I leaned against the wall of the stairwell and crossed my arms. “You heard wrong. So, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“How’s Becerra?” he asked.
“Fine. I take it you know she was just transferred out of ICU, since you knew I was headed up to see her.”
“And you’re wondering how I knew you’d take the stairs? We keep intelligence on most of the fae in the city. Every single one is a threat, so we make it our business to know their strengths, weaknesses, and quirks. Which brings me to why I came here in person.”
He reached into a leather briefcase and handed me a file folder that was a good two inches thick. It was labeled “Eyes Only” and warded with sigils against prying eyes and sticky fingers. Instead of reaching out for it, I glanced at the folder and cocked my eyebrow at him.
“For fuck’s sake, McCool, you think I’d do something that obvious if I wanted to take you out? The protective spells have been deactivated. It’s safe to read.”
I took the file and opened it, glancing at the cover sheet:
SUBJECT NAME: Fear Doirich
KNOWN ALIASES: The Dark Man, The Dark Druid
A quick flip through the folder revealed that most of the information was redacted. I handed the file back to him.
