A Reluctant Companion

by Kit Tunstall

  “It’s okay.” The girl looked like she needed a few good meals and perhaps a warm bed. “Where were you headed?”

  “The healer,” said the girl softly, suddenly swaying.

  With a decisive nod, Madison put her arm around the girl’s waist and turned to the soldier. “Is there a healer nearby?”

  Eyes wide, he shrugged. “I don’t know, Miss Cole.”

  “Down the street, ‘round the corner,” said the girl in voice as thin as gauze.

  Madison indicated the soldier should help bear the girl’s weight, and they eased her down the street, finding a small brick building with a hand-lettered sign that read: Susan Ward—Herbalist, Healer & Doctor.

  They navigated the girl inside, and Madison was appalled to see the waiting room stuffed full of people in a similar state. Leaving the soldier to hold up the girl, she went to the front desk, where a harried-looking woman with frizzy brown hair seemed to be juggling multiple tasks. “Excuse me, but my…friend needs to see a healer.”

  “Yours and everyone else’s,” said the frazzled woman, but not unkindly. “Has she been here before?”

  “Uh, I don’t know.” She motioned the soldier to lead the girl over. “Have you been here before?”

  The girl nodded. “Tara Seabolt.”

  After a moment’s search in a book so large it filled half the desk, the receptionist nodded. “You were supposed to come back for a checkup months ago, Tara.”

  Tara nodded before a racking cough shook her body. “Couldn’t afford it, miss.”

  The receptionist frowned. “That never stops anyone else,” she muttered a bit gruffly. “It’s going to be a long wait, I’m afraid. We’re shorthanded.”

  The soldier shifted Tara to help her sit in one of the last remaining spots on the hard wooden benches. She looked so frail there that Madison couldn’t stand it. “You have to see her now. She’s obviously sick.”

  “Take a look around. Everyone here is sick, and there’s only Susan with no nurse or assistant today. We’ll get to Tara when we can.”

  Madison straightened her shoulders. “Fine. What can I do to help speed up the process?”

  The receptionist focused on her, as if finally paying attention for the first time. Her eyes widened as she took in Madison’s neat clothing and the soldier standing beside her. Looking a bit nervous, she said, “Do you have any medical training, Miss…?”

  “Cole, and a bit. I’ve been caring for my mother the past three years. I’m not afraid of hard work, and I literally have nothing else to do, so put me to use.”

  After a brief hesitation, she nodded. “Very well. We’ll take any volunteers we can find, Miss Cole. Hardworking ones are all the better.”

  “Madison please.”

  “Lucy.” She waved Madison around behind the desk, and the long-suffering soldier looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

  With a sigh of impatience, she said, “Have a seat by Tara.”

  “But, Miss Cole, the commander said not to leave your side.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Tiernan specifically told you not to leave my side?”

  The young man flushed. “Well, er, no. My commanding officer told me I had to stay by his companion’s side when acting as escort.”

  “Over there is close enough,” said Madison in a tone that brooked no argument. After a moment, the young man complied, looking worried. He needn’t be. She had no intention of telling anyone he had left her to go all the way across the room. Idiot rules.

  Lucy regarded her with wide eyes, but made no comment on the exchange she had just witnessed. “Well, Madison, let me show you how the intake process works. After that, we’ll have a quick tour of the clinic, and I’ll ask Susan where she’d like you.”

  *****

  Madison’s day flew by in a busy haze. It was wonderful to feel useful again, to know she wasn’t wasting her time with idleness and was actually helping others. It was just the panacea she needed to soothe her ragged emotions, and she felt calmer by the time she allowed the soldier to persuade her to leave the clinic and head back to Tiernan’s mansion.

  It was dusk when they returned, and the young man looked nervous, as though expecting Tiernan himself to come chastise him for allowing her to stay out so late. As if he would care. After yesterday, he probably didn’t even know she was gone. Would he even come back to the room tonight? Probably, since it was his room, but he might also tell her to move to another one. She should cling to that hope instead of the pathetic desire to find herself back in his good graces.

  Enough self-pity. After seeing the suffering she had witnessed today, she had no right to be wallowing about in it. Yes, her life was in shambles right now, but she had shelter, food, clothes, and safety—far more than many of the people who had come through Susan’s clinic that afternoon.

  At the guardhouse, she parted from her soldier after extracting a promise that he would act as her escort tomorrow as well. She walked the rest of the way to the entrance by herself, though four guards stood around the area. Once inside, she hurried to the kitchen, lucky enough to find one of the prep workers with a free moment to brew a cup of the disgusting contraceptive tea. After gulping it down, she left the area and walked sedately up to the room she shared with Tiernan. She was tired and sore from the multitude of tasks she’d performed, but she felt good and looked forward to returning tomorrow.

  The room was deserted. She washed and dressed in a nightgown that was pretty, but not too enticing. If Tiernan came to her tonight, she wasn’t sure how to greet him. She wanted to be cold and rebuff him, but she also wanted to throw herself into his arms. The equanimity she’d found throughout the day was seeping away, and she was a nervous wreck by the time full darkness set in. Her long day and previous night of little sleep caught up to her, and she finally gave up her vigil to go into the bedroom. Five minutes after slipping between the covers, she was asleep.

  *****

  Feeling a fool and cursing his cowardice, Tiernan finally let himself into his suite around one a.m. It was dark and quiet, as he’d expected. She would have gone to bed hours ago, no doubt tired out by her impromptu trip around the city. Shopping could wear a woman out, he thought with a derisive grunt.

  He stripped off most of his clothes before reaching the bedroom. Moving quietly to avoid waking her, to be solicitous of course, he opened the door and walked in on bare feet. She lay in the middle of the bed, one arm tucked around his pillow. Was she missing him? Had she missed him last night? He’d like to think his absence had taught her something, mainly that he didn’t need her. She need never know he’d gotten rip-roaring drunk and had passed out in his office like a teenager after his first taste of alcohol. Aidan had certainly gotten a kick out of discovering him in that sorry state early this morning.

  He slipped into bed, holding his breath as she stirred but didn’t wake. As though drawn to her by forces he couldn’t resist, Tiernan settled as close to her as he could. Carefully, he moved the pillow from her embrace and plastered her against him instead. She snuggled closer, making a little mewling sound that was oddly appealing. Her breath caressed his neck, and he warred with his baser urges as his cock hardened. Eventually his better nature won, and he was content to hold her as she slept. “Not such a tyrant now, am I?” he whispered as he caressed her back.

  She snored softly, oblivious to his words, though not his presence. Madison fit against him like a matching puzzle piece, and he had to restrain the impulse to tighten his grasp, pulling her even closer. He had to handle her delicately. A treasure like the woman in his arms was fragile and needed protecting, not brute force.

  “I lied to you,” he whispered again, feeling like a coward for not telling her the words when he was sure she could hear and absorb them. “I was jealous as hell that some man dared send you a message. I’m sorry I hurt you, Madison.”

  She mumbled something and snuggled closer. Maybe his words penetrated her unconsciousness. He hoped that was true, because
he didn’t know if he’d have the strength of character to make the admissions in the light of day, when his words could be construed as weakness, and she might think she could use them to her advantage.

  Chapter Nine

  Madison woke to find herself pressed against Tiernan. Her eyes widened when they met his, and she opened her mouth to speak, though she had no idea what she was going to say. He kissed her before any words could emerge, and it was the same sort of soft, coaxing kiss that always melted her. The angry, shamed part of her still wanted to push him away, suspecting he had spent his absent night with another of his companions, and she remained stiff for a long moment, until his gentle mouth and softly caressing hands smoothed away her resistance.

  Their lovemaking was slow, almost tenuous, as they let their bodies speak all the things they both wanted to say. Or maybe she was misinterpreting his apologetic touches and soothing kisses. Perhaps she was fooling herself so she could continue sharing her body with him. Even the doubt of that couldn’t hold back her cries of passion, and she was eager for him when he lifted her thigh and entered her carefully, drawing out his possession until she thought she might scream with frustration and need.

  Afterward, they lay together as the bliss faded gradually, still not speaking. Without knowing what she wanted to say, she was reluctant to break the silence. They had been so harsh with each other at their last meeting, and she didn’t want to hear or utter further words that could cut so deeply again. Their tentative peace, while not truly resolving anything, seemed the safer and easier course. With that in mind, she didn’t push him to speak, and she didn’t utter the question burning on the tip of her tongue. Whose bed were you in two nights ago?

  Did it matter? Would knowing which of his other companions had been his partner for the evening make it any easier to deal with his infidelity? No. It would just make it harder, because she would have to look at that woman and hold back the compulsion to demand details, to ask if he’d at least been hurt, bitter, or reluctant? Had he called Madison’s name or mentioned her at all to the woman he’d been with, or had she never crossed his mind?

  Besides, he wouldn’t and didn’t consider it infidelity. They had an arrangement, strictly physical at the core, with no commitments. Madison doubted he would even understand why she would be jealous or upset. In all honesty, she didn’t quite understand why she was so torn up over the whole thing. He wasn’t supposed to mean anything to her. Even if the sex was great, she should be happy for the nights he didn’t spend with her, because it meant he was distancing himself. That was what she wanted. She couldn’t question that. She absolutely would not be like Nina, futilely loving a man who was incapable of returning her feelings.

  He kissed her forehead before getting out of bed to prepare for the day. She watched him pad naked into the bathroom, still not saying anything. Other than a few pleasantries over breakfast, and a shared goodbye, they didn’t speak as they parted company an hour later. Nothing had been resolved, but things still felt better between them, and she was able to push aside most of her darker thoughts as she collected her escort and made her way to the clinic.

  *****

  “I don’t know how you keep up this pace every day,” said Madison as she carefully prepared a slide of blood for Susan’s examination under the primitive microscope. Collecting and processing lab samples was a newly acquired skill she had learned in just the last few hours. Perhaps because it was so precise and nerve-racking, it had left her more exhausted than the tasks she’d performed yesterday. It didn’t make sense, because with the exception of the past few weeks as Tiernan’s companion, she had always worked long and hard, but the clinic wore her out. Susan had to be in her mid-fifties, but moved with seemingly tireless energy.

  “I’m used to it, Madison.” She examined the slide and wrote a note on the chart open beside her. “I’m looking forward to a day off tomorrow, of course—though I won’t be sleeping in and catching up on errands like I usually do.”

  Madison frowned. “The clinic isn’t open tomorrow?” A pang went through her, and she marveled at how this place could become so important to her in just two days. She was going to miss the sense of purpose it gave her, even though it would be nice to get a break from the emotionally taxing side of seeing so much suffering.

  Susan stretched her neck side to side and rolled her shoulders. “No, it’s punishment day.”

  Madison shuddered, remembering seeing a punishment day on one of their infrequent trips into Graceport. Blaney was fond of public lashings, so it had been mostly a string of whipped people; only the number and severity of lashes had varied. She understood the necessity of punishment, but hadn’t found the public aspect at all appealing and had turned away quickly.

  Susan nodded at her nonverbal reaction. “Normally, I agree, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s punishment, or the main attraction, anyway.”

  That didn’t seem in character with a healing soul, and her puzzlement must have shown. Susan gave her a tired smile. “They’re punishing Lori Becker’s rapist tomorrow.”

  Madison shrugged. “Who?”

  With a sigh, Susan took the next slide and bent to the microscope. “My friend at the hospital treated that poor girl after the rape. She was…” The other woman trailed off, clearly unable to speak. She swallowed audibly before continuing. “Well, let’s just say that no one has ever deserved punishment more than that piece of filth.”

  Before Madison could ask more questions, Susan’s voice turned businesslike again, and she let the subject drop in favor of returning to the work at hand. There were still several patients in the waiting room needing these results, and as the day wore down, she found herself eager to finish, so she could go home—back to Tiernan’s, she amended. She wanted to see if their silent truce had been real and lasting or was all a product of her wishful thinking.

  *****

  By the time Tiernan joined her for dinner, she was on tenterhooks to see how he behaved. Relief washed through her when he began speaking to her as he normally did. The casual kiss he pressed to her lips before sitting down further calmed her spate of nerves, and she allowed herself to relax as the familiar feelings wove around her. It might all be an illusion, but she clung to it, needing the reassurance it brought her. Whether or not he really cared about her, he had a way of making her feel like he did, as though she was the center of his world. As they ate and conversed, she clung to that, not wanting him to return to the emotionally distant or hotly angry lover he’d been the past few days.

  “Will you be attending punishment day tomorrow?” asked Tiernan over dessert and moscato.

  Madison shrugged. “Probably not. I never cared for that sort of thing.”

  He nodded. “It’s stomach-turning, but public punishment can be an effective deterrent.” Sitting down his glass, he sighed. “It’s probably for the best that you won’t be there. I’m expecting a full crowd, which makes it more difficult for the guards to protect you.”

  “And you?” she asked quietly. “Are you in danger?”

  He lifted a shoulder. “Who knows? Before finding out about a growing rebellion, I would have said no, not likely. Now, I’m not sure.”

  “Why don’t you skip it too?” She attempted to keep her voice calm and not betray the fear that spiked in her at the thought of something happening to Tiernan. “It sounds safer—unless you enjoy punishment day?” Madison hoped not, because it would be difficult to understand that notion.

  Tiernan scowled. “Not usually, but I will tomorrow, I think. I’m going to skip the other punishments, but I intend to be there for Sullivan Tully’s retribution.”

  Madison took a sip of moscato before asking, “Is that something to do with Lori Becker?”

  He frowned. “How do you know of Lori Becker?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t really. I just heard someone else say a similar thing today—she normally hates punishment day, but plans to be there tomorrow.”

  He nodded. “Yes, tha
t’s the monster who raped Lori Becker.”

  “Who is Lori?”

  He rubbed his eyes. “She’s a fourteen-year-old girl and the daughter of one of my soldiers. Tully kidnapped and held her for three days. If she hadn’t escaped, he probably would have kept her captive for longer before killing her. We don’t have sufficient proof, but it appears he’s done that before.”

  Madison swore softly. “That poor girl.” Her stomach turned. “What will they do to him? Death?”

  Tiernan lifted a shoulder. “He’s been convicted of rape by the tribunal, so it will be the prescribed punishment.”

  She frowned. “Which is?”

  Shoving away his half-eaten dessert, he said, “The same as Graceport.”

  “Which is?” she asked again.

  Tiernan frowned. “Castration and branding. No one will provide medical attention, so there’s a good chance he’ll bleed out. If not, he’ll live with an ‘R’ on his forehead forever, so everyone will know what he is.” His frown deepened. “Don’t they have rapes in your province?”