Chapter Nine
Felix
I couldn’t sleep. Every night I tossed and turned in my little bed, chasing something that wasn’t there. I’d dream weird dreams, then open my eyes a groggy mess. Mom had died less than a week ago, and I felt like a steaming pile of useless.
I slipped out of bed and went to use the bathroom. Everything in the house was so clean and tidy. I was afraid to do anything. The water dripped off my hands and onto the vanity. Aunt Cassie would no doubt hate it, but I walked away and headed for my room. A few drips on the vanity never killed anybody.
I shuffled down the dark hallway, not expecting to see my aunt coming toward me. I nearly jumped out of my skin.
We both did.
She patted her chest and tried to smile at me. It didn’t really work.
In the end she mumbled, “Sorry for scaring you. I thought you’d be asleep.”
I shrugged and shook my head, then looked at what she was wearing. I couldn’t see details in the dim morning light, but I could make out sneakers, yoga pants, and a big Nike swoosh on her T-shirt.
“I wrote you a note.” She waved a piece of paper in the air, then handed it to me.
Felix,
Hopefully you won’t have to read this because you’ll still be asleep. I’m just out running. Will be back soon. Don’t unlock the door for anyone.
Aunt Cassie
“I go every day. I can’t miss it.”
“Okay.” I shrugged, scrunching the note in my hand.
“Will you be all right here on your own?”
I nodded.
She studied me in the dim light, obviously trying to read my mind or something.
I raised my eyebrows and gave her a pointed stare. “I’ll be fine.”
“Good. Okay. Well, I’ll only be an hour, so just stay in your room. I’ll lock the front door behind me and uh…” She scratched her forehead, really unsure. “I looked it up online and it said you’re old enough to be home alone for a little while, so, I mean, did your Mom ever…”
No, but that was only because she’d been pretty much housebound since I turned twelve. Mom started feeling bad that I was the one going out to do the grocery shopping and taking care of her. She always went on about how it was supposed to be the other way around.
It wasn’t long before she moved us into the hospice.
If I could handle buying groceries on my own, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our little apartment, I could handle hanging out in my aunt’s house for an hour.
“I’m fine. Go for your run.”
“Okay.” Her smile was relieved. “We can get you ready for school as soon as I get back.”
I nodded again then walked past her and into my room. She’d reluctantly told me after Troy’s visit that I could make the room my own. My boxes were still piled in the corner. The only one I’d opened was Art’s CD collection. He was the guy who looked after us when I was born. When he died he left us everything…including his epic CD collection.
Flopping onto my bed, I pressed play on the stereo, and because Aunt Cassie wasn’t home, I cranked up the volume.
“Semi-Charmed Life” thumped through my room. Lying back on my pillow, I stared up at the white ceiling and drowned in a sea of guitar riffs and drumbeats, then started singing along.
One day, when I had control over my own life, I was going to play the guitar. I was going to rock out on a stage, singing my throat hoarse and playing to a bunch of screaming fans who thought I was the hottest guy on the planet.
One day…
I held on to that dream as the song kept playing, and tried to ignore the fact that it was still years away and I had a lot of suffering to do before then.
*****
Aunt Cassie’s knuckles were white as she drove me to school. I kept looking at her out of the corner of my eye. She was one uptight chick. Everything about her was tense and uncomfortable. Was it just me or was she always like that?
It looked exhausting to live that way.
Mom wasn’t like that at all. She laughed, shouted, cried, danced, cheered…everything about her was spontaneous and loud.
Everything about Aunt Cassie was eerily calm and robotic.
I almost couldn’t wait to get to school, which was insane because I hated school.
So which was worse?
An uptight freak or a bunch of bullies I could smash?
I squeezed my eyes shut and reminded myself that I couldn’t do that. Mom wouldn’t want me to. I’d get kicked out, then be stuck at home with a neat freak and her spotless counters.
The car lurched to a stop outside school. “Is this the right place?”
“Yeah, here’s fine.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out without any drama. I didn’t even say goodbye, just hitched my bag onto my shoulder and hurried away.
She took off just as fast, no doubt wanting to retreat to the safety of her work.
A library.
I scoffed and shook my head. It was the perfect job for her—quiet, neat, tidy, and where all the geeks hung out.
Walking through the main entrance, I kept my head down, avoiding the whispers that seemed to chase me.
“His mom died.” I heard that one a couple of times.
My shoulders bunched and I gripped my bag strap.
An anger I didn’t even know I had simmered inside me. I wanted to turn around and scream at them for even talking about her.
Clenching my jaw, I kept shuffling forward, not realizing I was about to crash into someone before it was too late.
Big Bad Bryson lurched and stumbled forward, finding his balance while I grimaced and tried to move around him. The eighth-grade beast had been hounding me since the day I started at this stupid school. I didn’t know why he couldn’t just drop it. We’d scrapped plenty of times, and he always came off worse. He was obviously a sucker for punishment, or maybe he had something to prove.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” He grabbed my collar and yanked me back.
I pushed him off me. “It was an accident, man.”
He scowled and lunged back, grabbing my collar again and slamming me against the lockers. I tried to remember my mom, I swear I did, but when that bull started snorting in my face, I just lost it.
I was already feeling beat up, and I wasn’t going to let that ass-face push me around.
With a feral growl, I attacked with my foot and then with my fist. The guy was a fat ogre with a powerful right hook, but I scampered around him, doing damage where I could.
It didn’t take long for a quick circle to form around us.
Shouts, cheers, gasps, one scream.
Fists.
The taste of blood in my mouth.
And then a teacher hollered at us to stop.
Neither of us listened. We just kept hitting, and I totally forgot everything my mother had told me.
Chapter Ten
Cassie
I was late for work. Having to drop Felix at school first ended up adding forty minutes to my trip. I hadn’t taken into account how far away it was or how heavy the traffic would be on my return.
I hated being late for anything, and my stress levels were elevated as I busted through the door.
“You’re late,” Greg reprimanded me.
I avoided eye contact and slid my backpack away. “I know. I know. I’m sorry. I had to drop my nephew at school and traffic was a nightmare on the way back.”
As I stood up and smoothed down my skirt, Greg’s hard expression morphed into a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s a challenging time.”
He reached forward to pat my shoulder but I tensed, giving him a closed-mouth smile and thanking him before shuffling into the back room.
Piles of books were waiting to be logged. They were the new additions to our fiction section, and I couldn’t wait to see what was available. I’d had a little say in the selection, but Aubrey was the one who’d put the final order in.
Rushing to the table, I waited
for the excited buzz to hit me. I was about to handle brand new books…nothing gave me greater pleasure. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Felix.
His sad little face as he left my car that morning. He hadn’t even said goodbye.
Things were so awkward in the house.
His room was a total mess. I nearly died when I knocked on his door and got a glimpse of the disarray he was leaving behind—clothes on the floor, CDs stacked in crooked piles, tissues scattered around the trash can.
I swallowed and tried to remind myself that everything would be all right. My house was clean. Dirty rats wouldn’t invade because of a few bunched-up tissues on the floor. I closed my eyes. The clicking of rat claws on a concrete floor made my skin prickle. I tried to forget that dark, dank space…and then I had to talk myself out of the urge to rush home during my lunch break and clean up.
The room was Felix’s. I had to respect that.
But maybe I could institute some kind of tidy-up Saturday policy or something. Surely he’d be okay with that. A little dusting and vacuuming on the weekend never hurt anyone, right?
“Cassie.” Greg’s voice was quiet, but it still made me jump.
I spun around.
“Your phone’s ringing.”
“Oh.” I turned my back on the shiny new books and walked to my backpack.
I didn’t like ringing phones. It was never a good sign.
I missed the call and didn’t recognize the number. I was tempted to put it on silent and ignore all communications until my break, but what if it was to do with Felix?
Since becoming an adult, I’ve never had to think about anyone other than me. It was weird to suddenly have this extra person at the forefront of my brain. But then I thought about his sad eyes, and I slipped into the break room to return the call.
It rang five times before the receptionist at Felix’s school answered.
My muscles pinged tight, and my voice was no doubt strained. “Yes, hi. It’s Cassie Grayson speaking. I just missed a call.”
“Of course, Miss Grayson. Let me put you through to Principal Turrell.”
“Thank you,” I squeaked.
Nerves attacked me from all sides as I tried to figure out why the principal was calling me.
“Please let it be something good,” I mumbled.
“Miss Grayson?” The principal’s voice was clipped and firm.
“Uh, yes. Hello.”
“I’m sorry to disrupt your day this way, but I’m afraid you’re going to have to come and pick up your nephew.”
“Why?” I frowned.
“I warned him about fighting. Told him if he couldn’t control himself that I’d have to expel him. Well, I’m sorry to inform you, but he’s crossed his last line. I’m making the arrangements now to have Felix removed from our school.”
“What!” My body snapped straight. “No, wait. You can’t do that.”
“I’m sorry. I know he’s had a really hard time and I don’t envy the family situation, but he’s had so many chances already. I think what your nephew needs is a couple of weeks at home to recover, and then a fresh start somewhere new.”
“No, please.”
He ignored my begging and clipped, “If you could please make your way to the school as soon as you can.”
And then he hung up. I pulled the phone away from my ear and gaped at it. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around what the hell had just happened.
Walking back out to the main desk, I caught Greg’s attention and told him in a numb monotone that I had to go. “There’s a problem with Felix at school.”
He took one look at my ashen expression and immediately told me to take the rest of the day. “Better yet, take the week. I’ll see you back on Monday, all right?”
I nodded, too shocked and disappointed to argue with him. There went all my annual leave days. Some vacation.
Shuffling out to my car, I slumped into the driver’s seat.
“Shit,” I whispered, resting my forehead against the wheel and resisting the urge to cry.
Felix needed me. I had to go.
But I felt so freaking unprepared for this.
Kicked out of school?
What the hell was I going to do?
A thought came to me—tall and handsome, wrapped in a faded leather jacket. With trembling fingers I pulled his card from the front pouch of my backpack. Rubbing my thumb over Troy’s name, I bit my lip and wondered if this was one of those times he was talking about.
“If you need anything, night or day, just give me a call.”
Did I need him?
I didn’t want to need him, but the thought of going into the school by myself and dealing with an angry principal terrified me.
Pulling out my phone, I glanced at the card, my insides warring.
Did I bring Troy in on this one or battle it out on my own? After Crystal left me, I swore I’d never rely on anyone ever again.
But this wasn’t just about me. I had a twelve-year-old to think about.
I closed my eyes, nausea rolling through me.
I was not cut out for this.
Chapter Eleven
Troy
“Jovi! C’mere, boy,” I yelled across the dog park, bending down and slapping my knees. “Come on. That’s a boy.” He scampered across the grass, his short, pudgy legs taking a while to cover the distance.
He was a British bulldog with a grumpy-looking face and a heart of gold. I got him when he was a pup, his tan fur wrinkled and too big for him. He’d since grown into his skin but was still just as cute as the day I got him.
“You’re a good boy, aren’t ya.” I rubbed behind his ears while he panted from exertion. His pink tongue hung out of his mouth.
I laughed as I attached his lead, then walked him out of the park. Lifting him into the car, I patted his head and drove him home. I was due for an appointment in an hour, and I wanted to get the guy a drink before leaving. He was pretty self-sufficient and would no doubt spend the afternoon napping in his bed. I tried to take him out at least once a day for a walk.
I started up the car and “You Give Love A Bad Name” by Bon Jovi started blasting.
Jovi immediately barked and wagged his stubby tail.
“That’s right, buddy. It’s the legend himself.” I laughed and started singing along.
By the time I got home and gave my bulldog some eats and drinks, I was in a really great mood.
And then my phone rang.
Pulling it out of my bag, I glanced at the screen. I didn’t know the number, but I got calls from new people all the time so it wasn’t a big deal to answer it.
“Troy Baker speaking.”
“Troy, it’s Cassie.” Her voice was soft, making it hard to hear…but then she drew in a shaky breath.
“Is everything okay?”
“It’s Felix. He’s being expelled.” Her voice pitched.
I closed my eyes, not at all surprised, but wishing it hadn’t happened so soon.
“I’m on my way to the school now to get him. What am I going to do? I don’t even know where to start looking for a new school, and how do I convince a school to take him when he’s been kicked out for fighting! Or should I be arguing with the principal to let him stay? And what am I supposed to say to Felix? Do I tell him off or be sympathetic? I don’t know what to do!” I’d never heard her say so many words at once. Her volume rose with each sentence, which oddly enough, made me smile. It was nice to hear some genuine emotion out of such a closed off person.
“I know it’s stressful, but we’ll work it out. I’m coming. I’ll meet you at the school, okay?”
She let out a slow breath as if she were trying to calm herself then softly muttered, “Thanks, Troy.”
“Anytime. See you soon.”
I glanced at my watch, then quickly texted to reschedule my appointment. The family I was bailing on had their own crisis to deal with, but this one took precedence. I’d squeeze them in later today.
Patting Jovi
on the head, I said a quick goodbye and raced out the door.
Traffic was light for LA, so I made it in good time and was parking the car just as Cassie was walking into the building.
“Wait up,” I called.
She paused on the step, glancing back with a worried frown.
I jogged across to her, not missing the scent of her perfume. She smelled like blossoms.
“It’s going to be okay.” I rubbed her lower back without thinking and felt her stiffen beneath my touch.
I quickly shoved my hands in my pockets and walked up the stairs beside her, pretending to ignore how uptight she always was.
Principal Turrell was quiet when we were ushered into his office, but his expression was grim. Felix sat despondent in the chair by the window. His knuckles were red and he had a swollen lip, nothing too bad. The worst thing about him was the defeated look on his face. If I couldn’t win over the principal, then poor Felix would have to face another upheaval.
“Hi, Mr. Turrell.” I extended my hand and he gave it a firm shake.
“Nice to see you again, Troy,” he muttered and took a seat.
“This is Felix’s aunt, Cassie Grayson.”
“How do you do?” The principal nodded, his hard eyes boring into her.
She shrank away from him, shuffling over to Felix and bending down to get a better look at his face. “Does it hurt?” she murmured.
“I’m fine,” Felix grumbled, crossing his arms and angling away from her.
She stood up and flashed me a desperate plea for help.
I put on my best smile and turned to the principal. “You sure we can’t resolve this? I’m pretty confident we could—”
“Forget it,” Felix snapped. “I don’t even want to stay at this stupid school. The kids here suck!”
Principal Turrell’s nostrils flared as he pointed a finger at the defiant boy. “Watch your mouth, young man. It’s no wonder you’re friendless with an attitude like that.”
Felix shot out of his chair, snatching his bag and glaring at the principal. “Let’s go,” he growled to his aunt before storming for the door.
Hole Hearted (A Songbird Novel) Page 5
