“I didn’t mean that.” Felix snickered. “I meant I don’t know how you run without music.”
“Oh. I…” I didn’t know. Music had left me the day Crystal ran, and I hadn’t thought to bring it back in until Felix entered my life.
“Here.” He held up a small shuffle. “Take this.”
“But what about you? You’re just going to sit here with no music?”
“You need to experience running with music. I’ve got everything I need up here.” He tapped his forehead. “It’s only an hour. I’ll be okay.”
I took the device and earbuds. “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “You have to know what you’re missing out on.”
I grinned at his wink, then let him turn on the music for me. I put the buds in and jolted.
“Sorry,” Felix mumbled, quickly turning the volume down.
“Thanks.”
I opened my mouth to ask one more time if he was sure, but he pointed to the pathway. “Off you go.”
I snickered and went on my way.
“Can’t Stop” by Red Hot Chili Peppers thumped in my ears, the guitar solo working right through my body and injecting me with an energy I’d never felt before.
A smile spread across my face as I ran, my rhythm matching the music. My arms swung and the pavement was lost beneath me as I experienced a new kind of run. With the music flowing through me, my brain didn’t have as much space to think. For the first time ever, I ran without feeling like I was running from something…someone.
Instead of dodging nightmares, I focused on beats, lyrics, melodies. I made it to the end of the path and turned back. Checking my time, I figured I’d done about three miles and was happy with my pace. I couldn’t believe how fast the time had gone. The music was entertaining, and I nearly laughed when “Play With Me” by Extreme started up.
It made me want to dance back to Felix, not run.
I giggled and pushed forward, scanning the ocean as I went. I saw a surfer getting out of the water. His full-body wet suit gloved his muscular frame, showing off how strong and masculine he was. I usually shied away from that kind of power. It scared me. But something about the guy made me look a little longer. He planted his surfboard in the ground and, as the path curved closer to the sand, I got an even better look at him.
He was so hot. Like a romance novel cover model.
I felt bad for checking him out. A guy that gorgeous would already be taken, and I shouldn’t be ogling someone else’s guy, but he made it really hard to look away. Especially when he unzipped his suit and pulled it off the top half of his body.
His broad shoulders rippled. Drips of water ran from the ends of his hair and down his back. Flicking the longer locks off his forehead, he scrubbed a hand over his face, then glanced my way.
I gasped and tripped, my foot catching on a crack in the concrete.
My hands shot out, catching me before I face-planted. My knees hit kind of hard, scraping the skin. I hissed and turned over, sitting on my butt to check out the blood. It wasn’t too bad. I could easily run back to Felix and patch it up when I got home. The heels of my hands were grazed too. They stung pretty badly, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I rubbed them together and felt my cheeks flood with color as Troy and his naked torso appeared above me.
“Are you okay?” His large hand touched my elbow and he helped me to my feet, running his fingers down my arm as he crouched to look at my knee.
I stood frozen, wondering why his soft hand hadn’t made me flinch. I usually hated being touched.
His fingers were cold from the water but actually felt kind of nice against the back of my throbbing knee.
I needed to move. I couldn’t stand here with his hands on me.
So why did it feel so un-scary?
I cleared my throat and shifted away, confused by whatever the hell was going on in my chest. “Um, I’m fine.”
Troy looked up at me, his ocean eyes making my stomach tremble. I averted my gaze as he stood, trying not to notice how beautiful his sculpted body was. His abs had shape. If I’d wanted to, I could have traced a line with my finger, all the way from the dip between his pecs to his belly button…to the line of hair that trailed down to the edge of his wet suit.
I blinked and clenched my jaw, hoping my cheeks weren’t too bright. Thankfully I’d been running, so I could hide my shame behind that excuse.
Sweat trickled down the side of my face. I brushed it away, suddenly aware of how bad I must have smelled. I took a small step away from him, pulling one of the earbuds free and asking in a jittery voice, “What are you doing here?”
Troy’s eyebrows rose and he pointed to his longboard. “I’m still learning. Not very good yet.” I smiled at his self-deprecating expression. “Are you sure you’re okay? My car’s just behind us if you want me to drive you somewhere.”
“No, really. I’m good. It’s not that bad.”
We both gazed down at my knee and the small trickle of blood that was inching toward my sock. The sweat was helping it along. I grimaced and tucked my foot behind my other one. There I was salivating over the guy, and he was probably being repulsed by my stench and blood.
“Well, I better get going.” I pointed over my shoulder.
“What are you listening to?” Troy grinned, nabbing the bud against my shoulder and putting it in his ear.
I didn’t even know what I was listening to. My throat grew thick as I gazed up at him.
I loved his smile and those eyes.
“Def Leppard,” he murmured. “You’ve just gone up in your cool ranking.”
“My cool ranking?”
“Yeah.” He turned his smile to full beam, making my legs want to crumple. “I now think you’re cooler than I already thought you were.”
“I’m not cool.” I scoffed, shaking my head and wondering if skin could actually catch fire if you blushed hard enough.
“You’re something special,” he whispered. Obviously embarrassed by his candor, he looked down at his sandy feet.
I bit my lips together, my heart racing while my head told me not to be an idiot. Like Troy Baker would ever be attracted to someone like me. I didn’t even want him to be. I didn’t need a man in my life…ever. I was happy. Alone.
Not alone, I had Felix.
I didn’t need a man.
Men were mean and they hurt you.
But as I stood there staring at Troy’s captivating grin, I had to wonder if that was true of all men. I’d made myself believe it for so long...but what if I’d been mistaken?
Troy squeezed the back of his neck, his sharp nose wrinkling as he stared out at the ocean. His cheeks were pink and he couldn’t quite get his smile under control. He looked embarrassed…and adorable.
Clearing his throat, he stood a little taller. “So, you don’t usually run down here, do you? I thought you were spending the day with Felix?”
“I am. I mean...” I pointed over my shoulder, relieved by the change in subject. “Felix wanted to come to the beach and check out the babes.” I winced. “I think he was hoping for bikinis, but…”
“You didn’t have the heart to tell him that it’s too early in the day for the beauties to be out.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but all I could utter was a helpless sigh. “What am I going to do with a boy who’s already thinking about girls? I’m so not cut out for this.”
Troy’s encouraging smile was back in place, reminding me that he wasn’t just some half-naked surfer but also the guy who helped me find Felix. He reminded me every time he was around that I was capable of raising a kid who would soon be a teenager.
“You know, when my brother was going through a really tough time, I bought him a guitar. It kind of gave him something to pour all his energy into.”
“A guitar,” I whispered. “Felix wants a guitar! I mean, I just had that thought yesterday when I was watching him rock out on his air guitar. I want to get him one and hook up some lessons for him. Do you know how I coul
d do that? I mean, are they expensive? Where could he get lessons?”
Troy’s eyes lit while I was talking, and as soon as I’d finished he snapped his fingers and pointed at me with a broad grin. “I’ve just had a great idea. I know a guy who might be able to help us out.” His wink made my heart melt, and then he turned it to a puddle of liquid affection. “How’d you like to give that kid the surprise of his life? Come on, I’ll drive you back to Felix and we can start plotting. This is going to be awesome.”
I should have kept running, but my head nodded before I could stop it. I didn’t need to run anymore that day. I usually couldn’t rest until I’d pounded out at least six miles, but as I stood there with blood trickling down my leg and the sweetest guy I’d ever met hovering next to me with those twinkling eyes and that excited smile…I just couldn’t say no.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Troy
I didn’t just drive her back to Felix. I stuck around, helped her dig out the first aid kit from the trunk of her car. I couldn’t leave her with blood trailing down her shin.
She let me touch her.
Sure, she was tense and stiff, but she didn’t flinch or shy away when I placed my hand beneath her calf muscle and gently cleaned up her knees—one at a time.
Damn, she had the sexiest legs I’d ever seen. They were slender and strong, the muscles beautifully defined from years of running.
I took my time, hoping she wouldn’t notice how slowly I worked. Felix was doing me huge favors, hovering beside us and asking Cassie all about her injuries. The conversation then veered toward running with music, and I was all but forgotten as playlists dominated. Distracted by her nephew, Cassie relaxed, and I had that fleeting, unbidden thought that I could do this for the rest of my life—stand there looking after a pretty girl while she chatted to “our” kid. It felt so natural, normal…so nothing that I’d ever thought of before in my life.
I never wanted kids. I’d spent my childhood raising one; I didn’t want to do it all over again. But that moment made it seem like something I could try.
And I had to be honest—the idea took me way off guard.
Smoothing the Band-Aid over Cassie’s knee, I cleared my throat and lowered her leg.
She glanced up, squinting against the sunlight, and smiled at me. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” My voice was husky. I had to get out of there. I had plans to implement, wistful thinking to avoid.
Cassie loved my idea about the guitar. She actually looked excited, an emotion I hadn’t seen on her before. It was pretty.
“Well, I gotta split.” I raised my hand. “Things to do.”
Cassie’s eyes shot to mine, and she gave me a very subtle wink. Again, not what I was expecting. I was the winker, but there she was, blowing my mind and showing me a hidden part of herself that I never wanted her to lock away again.
My heart did a weird double-beat, and I couldn’t help smiling once again before reluctantly walking to my car. It was a bizarre dichotomy: I wanted to stay and spend the day with those two, but I also couldn’t get away fast enough.
I wasn’t used to my heart doing anything more than feeling compassion or sympathy…sometimes a little lust. But this thing it did around Cassie was strong and only growing more powerful, especially when she showed me a slice of something new.
If I could fall in crush with uptight Cassie, unguarded Cassie would knock me clean off my feet. I had to get her talking. I had to help her break those chains and open up even more. Because I wanted her to find a place for me in her life.
But it wasn’t my job to do that.
It wasn’t about me.
It was about helping her and Felix find their way. Although Cassie loosening up would only help Felix too. I could justify it that way, right?
Clenching my jaw, I forced myself to stroll, not run, to the car. As soon as the door clicked shut behind me, I pulled the phone out of my bag and started making plans to surprise Felix.
My brother’s phone rang and a smile stretched across my face as I waited for him to answer.
*****
Jimmy came through.
My insides jiggled with excitement as I bounced up the path to Cassie’s front door.
I hadn’t spoken to her since the day on the beach, but we’d exchanged a few texts and I knew they were home, Felix blissfully unaware of the surprise we were about to lay on him.
Music blasted from somewhere in the house, “Livin’ On A Prayer.” It only made my smile grow wider. Man, I loved that kid.
I knocked once, hiding the guitar behind my back while I waited. It didn’t take long for Cassie’s cautious gaze to appear between the curtains. The second she spotted me, her eyes rounded then started to sparkle.
I winked at her and she disappeared from view. The locks had never been clicked back so fast…and then the door flew open.
“Hey.” She grinned.
“Hey.” I wiggled my eyebrows and stepped inside, nearly tripping through the door when I noticed she was wearing the necklace I gave her for Christmas. I probably shouldn’t have gotten such a rush from something so little, but I did.
She was wearing my necklace.
“I’ll go get him!” she called over her shoulder as she rushed from the room, her footsteps fast and jittery.
“We’re halfway there…” Bon Jovi’s voice powered out of Felix’s room, and I started singing under my breath. It was one of my favorite Bon Jovi songs. The volume decreased. I kept singing to myself, only just catching a muffled conversation. My voice petered off to a light whisper, but I still couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Then came two sets of footsteps—one hurried, one slow. Cassie reappeared and a few seconds later Felix shuffled in behind her.
“Oh, hey, Troy.” He forced a smile, obviously a little miffed at being pulled out of bed on a Saturday morning. He yawned and scrubbed a hand over his face. “You don’t have to worry,” he mumbled. “I went back to school for the rest of the week, kept my head down and my knuckles clean. The guy who ripped my sweater has pretty much stayed away so…” He shrugged. “Oh, and Aunt Cass mended the sleeve so I’m all good.” Felix waved his hand in the air then looked at his aunt. “Can I go back to bed now?”
Cassie snickered and shook her head. “I don’t think you want to.”
Felix’s eyebrows furrowed then slowly rose as I revealed the guitar case behind me.
His lips parted with a gasp, and he looked between me and Cassie. “What’s this?”
Cassie crossed her arms. “It’s a gift.” She smiled, her eyes glistening with emotion. “We wanted to get you something to help you through.”
We—I liked the sound of that way too much.
“A guitar?” Felix blinked and stumbled over to me.
I laid the case down on the floor and popped it open to reveal a red Fender Stratocaster. “It’s one of Jimmy’s old ones.”
“No way.” Felix pulled out the guitar like it was made of solid gold.
Lifting the strap over his head, he nestled the guitar against his body and fingered the strings in awe.
I glanced at Cassie. She was gazing at Felix like she loved him, her eyes glowing with a look of affection that made my heart do that double-beating thing again.
My swallow was thick and audible before I managed to find my voice. “I have an amp in the car.”
“And I’ve arranged for you to start guitar lessons at school. The music teacher’s going to fit you in at lunchtime. I figured you’d be okay with that.”
Felix’s head bobbed enthusiastically. He caressed the strings with an awestruck smile. It was a sweet moment, each of us gazing at the other, unable to find any words that could possibly suffice.
Finally, Felix sniffed then rubbed his finger under his nose. “Thank you,” he croaked. “Thank you so much.”
Cassie blinked. “You deserve it.”
His lips wobbled into a heartfelt smile before he lurched forward and wrapped his arm a
round her shoulders. She yelped as he pulled her against him, then let out a nervous laugh, leaning her head against his and gifting me a smile.
It was another beautiful moment. A flash of brilliance in the blossoming of Cassie Grayson.
I felt privileged to be a part of it and didn’t want to miss a moment.
My heart squeezed and took off running as I once again wished that these two weren’t just another case. I wanted them to be so much more.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Felix
I practically ran to my first guitar lesson. I couldn’t help it! One, I was getting to play Jimmy Baker’s guitar! And two, I was getting out of another torturous lunchtime avoiding idiots who still wanted to get me back for being a better fighter than them. They’d stopped using physical threats and had shifted to words, which could be just as painful as fists.
Anyway, I was stoked to be hiding away in a music room, just me and a guitar teacher. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my lunch hour.
The door creaked when I opened it, but no one was there to turn and see me. I glanced around the room, rubbing a hand down my leg and taking a seat near the teacher’s desk. There was a music stand set up with a couple of stools. I assumed one of them was for me.
Sitting down, I gently took out the guitar, running my hand over it, still slightly in awe. I’d been messing around a little, strumming the strings with this stupid smile on my face.
Jimmy Baker’s guitar. It was un-freaking-believable!
The door creaked, and I spun to greet the teacher.
But it wasn’t Mr. Maddison.
“Hey.” The girl with the black nail polish and constant stare smirked at me as she walked into the room. Her skull ring had been switched out for a mini vinyl record ring. It was wicked and totally cool, but it didn’t curb the fact I wasn’t interested in sharing my lesson with a messy-haired chick who seemed kind of weird to me.
My stomach twisted with annoyance. She was carrying a guitar case too. Hers was bigger than mine. She set it down on the desk behind us and popped it open, gently pulling out a bass guitar, the same way I’d pulled out Jimmy’s Fender—total respect and awe of her instrument.
Hole Hearted (A Songbird Novel) Page 12
