The two men agreed to this plan, and the group split up. As the castle door closed, Cimorene gave a sigh of relief.
"How do you stand it?" she asked Morwen.
"The way Telemain complicates things when he talks?" Morwen shook her head. "I don't have to, much."
"I thought you were old friends."
"We are. That doesn't mean we see a lot of each other, though I'll admit that he drops by much more often now that he lives in the Enchanted Forest, too."
"Even so…"
Morwen thought for a minute. "The only thing you can do is avoid talking about magic with him;" she said at last. "He's reasonably clear when it comes to normal conversation, but as soon as anyone mentions spells he gets technical. Or you could make sure Kazul is always with you."
"Yes, I'd noticed that Telemain doesn't-" A distant bray interrupted Cimorene in mid-sentence. "Good heavens," she said. "What on earth was that?"
"Killer," Morwen said, walking more quickly. "Unless you've acquired a donkey since the last time I was here."
"A donkey? No, but-" As they rounded the last corner and came in sight of the kitchen, Cimorene stopped short. The cook stood in the half-open kitchen door, brandishing a copper frying pan to keep Killer from forcing his way inside, while Scorn and Jasper watched from the safety of a nearby window ledge.
Midway between the kitchen and the moat, Kazul sat on her haunches, smiling down at the terrified blue donkey in amusement. Since the smile showed a fair number of teeth, it wasn't helping Killer's state of mind at all.
"Killer," Morwen said sternly. "Stop that this instant."
"But it's a dragon!" Killer wailed. "And it's right there! Eee-augh!"
The cook glanced toward them, gasped, and dropped the frying pan.
"Your Majesty!"
Taking full advantage of the cook's distraction, Killer flung himself forward. He hit the door with a thud, shoving it wide and knocking the cook over backward. As his head and front feet disappeared inside the kitchen, a cat yowled loudly in surprise and pain.
"Fiddlesticks?" Morwen said. "That does it." She raised her arms.
"Sky and sea and whirling sands, Stop that creature where he stands!"
On the final word, she brought both hands down in a swift chopping gesture. Killer stopped moving and gave a startled bellow. An instant later, Fiddlesticks shot out from between the donkey's legs. Morwen breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
"He stepped on my tail!" Fiddlesticks said with great indignation. He sat down at Kazul's feet and began energetically washing the offended part.
"I'm surprised it wasn't your nose," Scorn said. "You poke it into enough peculiar places."
"Help! Hee-eeau-elp!" Killer cried. "I'm going to be eaten!"
"Get this creature out of my kitchen!" the cook yelled as he scrambled to his feet.
"Quiet, all of you," said Cimorene, edging her way through the narrow gap between Killer's rear end and the door frame. Since Fiddlesticks seemed more or less unharmed, Morwen followed Cimorene inside. Killer continued to moan and whimper despite Cimorene's order, but he at least stopped braying.
Inside, Cimorene glanced around the kitchen, which was nearly as clean and tidy as Morwen's, and nodded to the cook. The cook bowed deeply.
Cimorene turned to Killer. "Nobody is going to eat anyone here unless I say so. Now, how did this happen?"
'Just how you'd expect," Scorn said from the window. "Killer was being stupid again."
"I'm not stupid," Killer said. "Eee-eeaugh! Oh, help!"
"I said quiet," Cimorene said.
"But I can't move, and there's a dragon-" "I can arrange it so you can't talk, either," Morwen said. "And if you don't start behaving yourself, I'll do it. Cimorene, this is Killer. He ought to be a rabbit of the usual size and color, but he's had some trouble with wizards lately. This is Cimorene, the Queen of the Enchanted Forest I think you should answer her question."
Killer rolled his eyes and waggled his ears, managing to look foolish and terrified at the same time, but after a few more minutes of reassurance, coaxing, and stern commands, he calmed down enough to explain. He had been waiting for the castle cook to mix up his promised lunch, and hadn't noticed Kazul's arrival. When the cats pointed her out to him he had been nervous, but he hadn't really started to worry until Kazul asked the cook to pack provisions for a journey. What had really panicked him, though, had been the dragon saying, in answer to a question from the cook, that the provisions should be for human people only, because she would find her own meals.
"There, you see?" Scorn said, lashing her tail. "He was being stupid."
"I can see why it might make you nervous," Cimorene said to Killer.
"Kazul can be a bit intimidating up close." She considered for a moment.
"Kazul won't eat you once you've been properly introduced. Let him loose, Morwen, and I'll take him over and present him."
"Are you sure?" Killer asked.
"Positive," Cimorene told him. "Dragons are very polite. Morwen?"
Since all the cats were out of danger and Killer seemed to have settled down, Morwen nodded agreement. Bringing her hands together at waist height, she said, 'Fire and cloud and rain and snow, Lift the spell and let him go!"
As she spoke, she raised her arms in a slow reversal of the movement she had used to freeze Killer where he stood.
For a long moment, nothing seemed to happen. Morwen frowned, wondering if the wizards' size-changing spell was interfering with her witchcraft.
Then a ripple ran across Killer's back, like heat rising from an iron stove. He shivered, shook himself, and pranced backward several steps, ducking his head to clear the top of the doorway.
"Thanks," he said. "Um, could we just sort of skip the part about presenting me to the dragon for now?"
"That wouldn't be a good-Killer, are you growing again?" Morwen asked.
"You look taller."
Jasper yawned widely and jumped down from the window ledge. "He's not taller," the cat said, strolling forward. "He's just farther up."
Automatically, Morwen, Cimorene, and the cook glanced down, following Jasper's movement. Morwen blinked. Between Killer's front hooves and the flagstones of the courtyard stretched a long inch of empty air.
"I wonder if he'll still leave footprints?" Cimorene said, half to herself.
"What is it?" Killer asked nervously. "What are you all staring at?"
He looked down and his ears stiffened. "Eee-augh!" He pranced backward, out of sight, and Cimorene and Morwen hurried out after him.
With every step, he gained a little more height, until he was a good four inches above the ground. "Help! I'm falling!"
"You're not falling," Scorn said. "You're floating."
"He is, isn't he?" Fiddlesticks said, walking over. "And it's a very good idea. He can't step on anybody's tail now."
"Hold still," Morwen said to the donkey. "Every time you take a step, you get farther up. If you keep moving, you'll be over the castle in no time.
And if the spell suddenly wears off…"
"Eee-augh!" Killer rolled his eyes and planted his feet firmly in thin air.
"Now what?"
"Now you wait," Morwen told him. "This looks like another side effect of mixing different kinds of magic, and that's really Telemain's specialty. I'll send him out as soon as we're done inside."
"Tell him to hurry!"
Cimorene shook her head. "I'm afraid it will take a while, but we'll bring him as soon as we can. In the meantime, Evim will get you some lunch." She looked back over her shoulder at the cook, who nodded and vanished into the kitchen.
Behind Killer, scales scraped noisily against stone. "This is very entertaining," Kazul said, "but haven't we got more important things to do than argue with an oversized blue donkey with avian ambitions?"
Killer rolled his eyes and choked back another bray. Cimorene smiled but shook her head. "It's not quite as silly as it looks. Kazul, this is Killer; Killer, this is Kazul, the Kin
g of the Dragons. Killer is the one who found out that the wizards are back in the forest, Kazul."
"He is?" Kazul came around in front, where she could see Killer more clearly. "Have you got any idea how they got into the palace?"
"N-no, sir-I mean, ma'am," said Killer.
"The size-changing spell must have had something to do with it," Morwen said. "If they shrank themselves small enough to sneak through the door without being seen-" "That would be hard," Cimorene said. "Our regular doorman is on vacation, so Willin's been handling it. And he's not all that big himself.
Those wizards would have had to shrink awfully small to get past him."
"There are other doors," Kazul pointed out. "This one, for instance."
She waved a claw at the kitchen entrance.
"Yes, but there's a spell on them that rings a bell in the footman's room whenever someone who doesn't belong here comes through one of them."
"However they did it, we aren't going to figure it out standing here," Morwen said. "Either we should go down to the armory and investigate, or we should get those lemons and go meet Mendanbar and Telemain the way we planned."
"Good heavens, I almost forgot," Cimorene said. "Lemons and unicorn water it is. I'm sorry, Kazul, but we can't do everything at once."
Cimorene and Morwen said good-bye to Kazul and went back into the kitchen, where they collected the lemons and unicorn water. Just as they were leaving, Jasper slipped out from behind a large basket of apples that was leaning against a corner wall.
"Morwen?" said the cat. "I've got something to tell you."
"All right," Morwen said. "Would you mind waiting a minute, Cimorene? Jasper wants to talk to me, and he wouldn't interrupt if it weren't important."
"Of course," Cimorene said. "But do try to be quick, Jasper. We've already taken more time than we should have."
Jasper favored Cimorene with a slow blink of approval. "I like her. She understands cats better than most people do."
"Very likely," said Morwen. "Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?"
"I know how the wizards got into the armory."
"Well?"
The cat coughed and looked around to make sure none of the other animals were within hearing distance. "Plumbing and mouse holes," he said very softly. "There's an old drain that goes under the moat and comes out in the forest. The wizards used it to get into the castle and then wandered around in the walls until they found a mouse hole into the armory. Once they had the sword, they used a transport spell to leave."
"How do you know all this?"
Jasper hunched his shoulders in embarrassment. "I asked the castle mice. A couple of them are friends of mine, and they gave me the whole story. Don't tell anyone, will you? If Scorn finds out, I'll never hear the end of it."
"If Scorn or anyone else says one word about it, you let me know," Morwen said. "That was very well done, Jasper. Thank you."
Jasper raised his chin and arched his back proudly. "You're welcome.
But I'd still rather you didn't tell Scorn."
"I won't," Morwen promised. "All right, Cimorene. Let's go."
"What was that about?" Cimorene asked as they left the kitchen. "J asper found out how the wizards got in," Morwen said, and explained as well as she could without mentioning Jasper's friendship with the mice.
Cimorene frowned. "Mouse holes? That's awful. We'll never find them all, and even if we did, the mice would just make new ones. And no one has ever invented a spell to keep mice out. Not one that works, anyway."
"And if you can't keep the mice out, you can't keep the wizards out, either. It's a problem." Morwen thought for a minute. "Why don't you ask the mice to help?"
"Ask the mice?" Cimorene looked startled, then nodded. "Of course.
Even if they won't tell us where their holes are, they can let us know if any more wizards try to use them. But who should we get to talk to them?"
"Your gargoyle. I'll wager my best broomstick that the mice will talk to him, and Telemain can rig up some portable magic mirrors so he can warn you when you're in other parts of the castle."
"Can Telemain make portable magic mirrors?"
"I don't know," Morwen said. "But we can ask."
They turned down the last long corridor that led to the Grand Hall, and Morwen's eyes widened. "Impressive," she said after a moment.
"Haven't you been to the Grand Hall before?" Cimorene said.
"No," Morwen said positively. "I'd remember."
The door to the Grand Hall was made of gold. It was twice as wide and three times as tall as a normal door, and it was covered with relief patterns that moved and twisted if you looked at them too long.
Cimorene smiled at Morwen, tapped at the door with one finger, and waited. After a moment, the door swung smoothly open.
"We're here," Cimorene said, stepping forward. "Are you ready to start?"
8
In Which Telemain Does a Spell and Morwen Misses a Call
The Grand Hall was as large as a ballroom, with a high ceiling and a green marble floor. Sunlight streamed through a dozen windows in the upper half of the walls, and two branches of unlit candles hung below each window, ready for evening or a cloudy day. Mendanbar and Telemain had pushed the few pieces of furniture-five high-backed wooden chairs and a long low-backed couch-up against the far wall. In the empty center of the room, Telemain had set up a large iron brazier, about three feet high and nearly five feet across.
"Where on earth did you get that?" Cimorene asked.
"I ordered it from the dwarfs," Telemain said, stooping to squint across the rim of the brazier. "And I had to send it back twice. The wizard liquefication spell requires extraordinary precision in the initial stages." With considerable difficulty, he shoved the brazier half an inch to the right and stooped to check its position once more.
"I made a quick trip to his house just now to bring it," Mendanbar said. "I don't need the sword for a spell that simple."
Cimorene smiled at him. "Thank you. How long will this take?"
"Not long," Telemain said, rising. "You've got the lemons and the unicorn water?"
Morwen handed them to him. "I don't think I've seen a setup quite like this before. How did you think of it?"
"The design was not difficult, once the theoretical basis for the spell was determined." Telemain carefully set the lemons on the floor and opened the bottle of unicorn water. It glowed with a faint silver-white light as he poured it into the brazier. "The efficacy of the cleansing solution in liquefying wizards suggested the operation of an antithetical principle, which-" "Did you have to get him started?"
Cimorene asked reproachfully.
"Yes," said Morwen. "I want to know how this works. Talk to Mendanbar, if you'd rather not listen."
From one of his many pockets, Telemain produced a small envelope.
As he mixed and poured and arranged the various elements of the spell, he explained each procedure in detail. Morwen was impressed in spite of herself.
The spell was clearly a major magical achievement.
Finally the preparations were finished and the brazier was half-full of white, foamy liquid. "That's enough," Telemain said. "Now, would all of you come here and hold your right hands over the brazier, please."
Frowning, he watched the bubbling liquid until the foam reached the lip of the brazier. Then he said, "Over and under, in and out.
Back and through and roundabout.
Send them away when we wish them to go.
Argelfraster!"
The liquid spattered upward as if someone had thrown a large rock into it. Three icy droplets fell on Morwen's extended hand, and several more sprinkled her robe and glasses. It was all she could do not to flinch.
Then, with a burbling hiss like a giant steam bubble bursting, the liquid exploded into a dense white cloud and rolled over them. The clean parts of Morwen's glasses fogged up immediately. Beside her, she heard Mendanbar cough.
"That's right, take a deep breath.
" Telemain's voice sounded very far away. Somewhere in the thick fog, Cimorene gasped and started coughing.
Warily, Morwen sniffed. The fog was bitterly cold and smelled strongly of lemons and bleach. "Bother," she muttered, and breathed in as Telemain had directed. As she had expected, she began to cough. A moment later, the fog cleared.
"Very good," Telemain said, beaming at the three of them as they gasped for air. "You can put your hands down now."
"You might have warned us," Cimorene said when she could talk again.
"About what?" Telemain sounded genuinely puzzled.
briefly, she reached into her sleeve, pulled out a clean handkerchief, and carefully wiped the lenses. "The temperature of that concoction, the fact that we were supposed to breathe that steam, and the presence of bleach in the mixture, for example."
"Why the bleach?" Mendanbar asked, in a tone nearly as puzzled as Telemain's.
Morwen settled her glasses back on her nose and scowled at Telemain.
"Take a good look at my robe." She held out her arms so that he could clearly see all the pale purple-gray dots where his magic fluid had spattered across the black fabric.
"I'm sorry, Morwen," Telemain said. "I didn't realize it would do that."
"Obviously." Tucking her handkerchief into her sleeve, Morwen shook her head. "At least the spell worked."
"You're sure?" Cimorene asked. "I didn't feel anything when it went off. Except like coughing."
"An unfortunate but necessary side effect," Telemain said, nodding.
"It may be possible to eliminate the discomfort in the future, but this time I thought it best to use a proven method."
"Didn't you have to adjust for the number of people involved?" Morwen asked.
"A simple matter of altering the balance of ingredients," Telemain assured her.
"And the trigger word is argelfraster. Morwen went on. "For all of us?"
Telemain nodded. "Say it, or think it very clearly, and point your finger at the wizard. It's quite effective."
"How did you pick a word like argelfraster?" Cimorene asked.
"I wanted something memorable."
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