At least not when it came to Jaxxon.
The last rays of sunlight played on Chris’ and Kyle’s coats, highlighting the dusting of gold prominent in their fur. I plopped down on the couch, letting the pillows engulf me, and turned on the TV for the third time, but muted it so I could hear if someone walked up.
As I laid down, a smudge on my pristine glass coffee table caught my eye. I unfolded myself from the cushions and leaned forward, rubbing it out, but the red spot smeared more. I jogged to the kitchen, grabbed the Windex and set to scrubbing. A whine from the other side of the table made me glance up, and there sat Kyle, staring at me with this head cocked.
“What?” I raised my hands, Windex in one, paper towels in the other. “Don’t judge, Kyle. It’s rude.” His furry head disappeared as he lay back down, and guilt swept over me.
“Sorry, baby dog.” I was grumpy and tired. I hadn’t slept in days, and I was . . . nervous. “Christ. Why nervous?” I mumbled to my dogs.
I hadn’t been alone with Jaxx since the night we’d had sex. I’d only seen him Tuesday morning at the gym since dinner with Annie. He’d had to stay at work late Tuesday night, due to some screw up, and then he’d left for Arizona on Wednesday. He had his kids this weekend, so tonight was the only time I’d be able to see him for a few days.
Placing the crushed paper towel and bottle of Windex on the table, I held my hands out in front of me. One would think I was an addict needing a fix, I shook so hard. Jesus Christ, where was the anxiety coming from? Sex aside, it not like I wasn’t comfortable with the man. So much so my skin tingled as I thought about the sweet pain of his body inside mine and how aware, how present he’d been with me—not some disgusting, rutting boar only looking to get off.
Drained, I felt drained. I put the Windex and towels on the table and lay down for a little bit. “Kyle, Hopp, come!” I patted the couch beside me. Kyle jumped up next to me, laying his head on my arm. I needed a power nap and it would make the time go by anyway.
Stroking Kyle’s head, I closed my eyes for a few seconds, before days of sleeplessness claimed me.
The massage jets of the shower head pound my back and I close my eyes, letting the hot water work its magic. Forcing each muscle to relax, I tilt my head back, stroking my fingers through my wet hair when the door to the shower flies open. “Jesus!”
“Toni, where the fuck did you put my—”
“Rick!” I shout, crossing my arms turning away from him. “What are you doing?!”
I watch his face over my shoulder as tremors overtake my body. His eyes open wider than I’ve ever seen them do before and he covers his mouth shaking his head.
“God Almighty . . . Turn around!” he yells.
“Rick, get out. Get out. Get. Out!” I scream, but it’s no use. He’d seen them.
A hand on my bicep whips me around and I lose my footing on the wet floor, ending up in a naked heap on the tile.
“Oh sweet Jesus. Those . . . ” He points at my scars, which I cover quick with my hands, “ . . . I had no idea they were so—so, sickening. How do you live like this? How could you let me live with a— with a mutilated—goddamn you!” He gags, and his tan face turns a sick shade of white.
He spins around and lunges for the toilet, but doesn’t make it. Vomit projects everywhere. My carpet stains a pinkish, yellow. My walls are splattered with the same. He rights himself and pivots back to me.
I can’t stop the trails of tears running down my face and I drop my head to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs, rocking.
“You. . . . you,” he chokes out. When I lift my eyes over my arms, the repulsion is evident on his face. “I—I can’t look at you,” he hisses, wiping his mouth with a towel and throwing it at me in the shower. “I’ll never forgive you for this,” he roars, pointing at my carpet and walls. “Clean it up. This is your fault, you fucking mutant.”
“I’ll clean it,” I whisper, as he leaves me shaking on the shower floor. “I’ll clean it.”
My eyes flew open and focused on Kyle who was now laying half on my chest and licking my face. On a quick inhale, I sat up with Kyle and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his furry neck. When his hair stuck to my face, I pulled away and touched my cheeks to find them wet. And it hit me. Jaxxon. He was due any second. I never allowed myself to cry—crying showed weakness. But I deserved to cry.
My psyche had a beautiful way of reminding me how disgusting I truly was, and that I was lying to Jaxx. But I never wanted the hate in Rick’s eyes when he saw the brutal reality of the scars reflected in Jaxxon’s. So where did that leave me, leave us?
And yet, I knew the minute—the second—he walked through my door tonight, I’d want to be with him again. A part of me loved this new person I’d discovered, yet the logical part—
The thud of the front door closing jolted me out of my thoughts and off the couch. Chris and Kyle were up and running in seconds. I ripped tissues out of the box, scrubbing my face, finger combing my hair, and straightening my dress. I shook my head, trying to shake the dream.
“Baby,” Jaxxon yelled down the hall. “Why isn’t this damn door locked?”
I jerked my head toward the mirror behind my couch. Shit.
Nice try, fraud. “Fuck you,” I hissed at my reflection, hoping the evil bitch in my head would for once shut up and the good would show up—my head was a constant battlefield.
“Um, I knew you were coming. I unlocked it about ten minutes ago.” I hollered back, walking toward the hallway between the kitchen and the rest of the house.
Rounding the corner, I caught him dropping his bag on the floor next to the entryway table and kneeling down to greet Chris and Kyle.
My breath dried the lining of my throat.
His massive frame hunched over the dogs, petting and talking to them. I didn’t have shoes on, so he hadn’t heard me enter the hallway. Standing up to his full height, he walked into the kitchen, the boys on his heels. “Valentina, where the hell are you?”
The sink turned on for a minute, then switched off. The swish of the towel from the rack carried to me out in the quiet hallway. I shook my arms out and cracked my neck to both sides, trying to compose myself. “I’m here, babe.” My voice didn’t sound like mine. I cleared my throat.
Stalking out of the kitchen, he smiled when he saw me standing at the opposite end of the hallway. Every inch of my flesh came to life as his eyes made their way from my feet all the way up my body. “Fuck, I missed you. Come here.”
Our eyes locked, but I was rooted where I stood.
He studied me for a long moment. With a small nod and a grin, he casually leaned a shoulder against the wall by the entryway table and crossed his massive arms over his chest. “Did you hear me, sugar?”
“Yes,” I managed to get out, but my feet wouldn’t move. My nipples constricted and poked at the material of my dress as I took him in. He wore black dress pants, and a royal blue shirt that hugged his biceps and made my thighs quiver.
I dropped my arms to my sides, and plastered on a smile. “How did Arizona go?”
He raised an eyebrow. “One of the things I love most about you, baby, from day fuckin’ one, is your smile lights up a room. When you genuinely smile, it’s like the goddamn sun. That—” He pointed to my mouth. “—is a diversion. What’s on your mind?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and realized I needed a pedicure, staring at the chipped polish. The urge to go to him consumed me, and every cell in my body screamed for me to do so, whether we were temporary or not.
The intensity between us was too strong. If I gave into this . . . thing between us the way I wanted to, and he walked away, he’d take a part of me with him, and the frightening reality for me was he already owned a part of me. No sense in denying it anymore.
“Valentina.”
At the sound of my name, my eyes shot up to his. With one glance, I’d swear he looked into my soul—and knew. He knew the internal battle raging inside me.
“Come here, hon.” Jaxxon reached up and took the band out of his hair, shaking it out as he stood waiting for me to move. “Now, please.”
On a sharp inhale, I took a step toward him, focusing on the way his hair hung in thick waves around his perfect face. With every step, my body trembled harder. My chest pounded as breathing became a problem. His presence alone created something like an electric tether linking me to him, drawing me further in.
He tilted his head, as I got closer to him. “You want to tell me what happened between Tuesday and today, that has you afraid to come to me?” He surveyed my body once again and I watched his eyes turn from light brown to green with golden flecks. He moved away from the wall, holding a hand out. “Mmm-hmm. Got it.” He took a step toward me.
I stopped. “I doubt it,” I whispered, my eyes glued to his.
“You wanna try me, sugar?”
I took another step and slowly put my clenched fist in his open hand. He closed it around mine and lifted it up, twirling me under his arm as if we were dancing. When my back aligned with his front, he wrapped his arms around me and yanked me against his chest. My body melted into his. I was so small next to Jaxx, and he surrounded me with an intoxicating sense of . . . safe. There were no façades, no masks, no walls with him. He broke every single one down.
He burrowed his nose into my hair, inhaling deep. The exhale of his breath tickled my ear. I let my eyelids fall shut for a second, savoring this moment.
The long breath I let out killed the last of my resistance.
His taut thighs pressed against my ass, his cock like steel against my lower back. I reached my arms up and ran my hands through his hair.
“There you are,” he murmured into my ear.
I pushed back against him. “I did miss you.”
“Did you?” He stepped sideways and leaned his back against the hallway wall, dragging me with him. I stood between his legs, willing the shaking to stop. “Like the dress.” He slid warm fingers around my hips and down my thighs to grip the bottom. With no pretense, he lifted it up to my waist, baring my lacy thong. I stiffened, but he kept the dress below the scars.
“Spread your legs, sugar. Let’s see how much you missed me,” he ordered, with a light slap on the inside of my thigh.
I relaxed and opened my legs. I wanted his hands everywhere at once.
He wrapped a gentle hand around the base of my throat while sliding the other into the front of my thong. “Baby,” he crooned, “Why are you hesitating when you’re this fucking wet?” Emphasizing his point, he slid two fingers between my saturated lips alongside my cleft, teasing at my entrance before making his way back up to circle my clit in a seductive rhythm.
Goosebumps peppered my body as he ran the hand at my throat up to grip my chin, tilting my face up to his. He captured my lips before licking deep into my mouth.
I groaned as he kicked my legs out farther with one foot and added another finger. His tongue moved in time with the strokes between my thighs. Releasing my chin, he shoved his hand inside the low neckline of my dress, inside my bra to cup my breast. As he rolled my nipple between his thumb and middle finger, I whimpered into his mouth.
“I missed the taste of you,” he muttered against my lips. I pushed my mouth back against his, so hungry for him. He kissed me hard before pulling away again enough to break contact. “I thought of nothing but making you come the past week. I can’t wait to get my mouth on you.”
“Jaxx—”
He teased his fingers around my greedy flesh, and I locked my arms up around his head, holding onto him just to stay upright.
“That sound about right? Do you want me to tease this needy little clit until the only way you can get off is for me suck that sweet bud between my lips?”
Yes. All I had to say was yes.
He entered me with two fingers and I bit my lip to keep from screaming out. My hips moved of their own accord in sync with the pace he set. When he pinched my nipple and my core clenched around his fingers, I surrendered to him, to my desire, to everything.
“Yes,” I cried out. “Yes. Jesus, yes,” I pleaded, praying he’d do all he’d promised. Praying he’d make me forget . . .
At once, both his hands disappeared from my body. I’d have fallen over if he hadn’t grabbed my hips, whipped me around, and lifted me up. I wrapped myself around him and bent my head to claim his mouth. Long, dragging strokes of his tongue slid over mine, both of us gasping for air.
He moved us both to the side table. The thud of a wooden bowl, the clank of keys, and crash of my purse echoed through my hallway as he swept an arm across the top of my entryway table and set me down on top.
Once settled, he bunched the center of my panties in one hand. A fresh flood of arousal dripped from my body the second the material tightened against my skin, followed by a tearing sound. “Jaxx!”
He studied my face for a second. “Hold the sides of the table.” When I did, he took both ends of my dress, tightened it around my lower abdomen and wedged it under my ass so it wouldn’t move. “Better?” he asked.
“Yeah—yes,” I murmured.
“Good.” He yanked the mangled scrap of my panties out from underneath me and dropped to his knees, holding onto my hips. He was so tall that even on his knees with me on the table, his face was level with my chest.
“Come down to me. Ass on the edge.”
I scooted to the edge of the table as ordered and he slipped his hands under my knees, spreading my legs. He held my legs open as wide as they could go, keeping me balanced right on the edge of my table.
“Goddamn, I’m obsessed with your pussy, sugar.” He ran his tongue from the bottom of my entrance up over the hood of my clit on a groan that resonated throughout my body. “I crave the taste of you. You’ve fucking ruined me.”
The iron grip on my thighs grounded me; I closed my eyes and tried to stop from pushing my hips against his face, he had me in such a fervor.
He squeezed. “Don’t stop, baby. Move for me,” he rasped, then drew lazy circles around my clit with just the tip of his tongue.
I anchored my hands on the back of the table, pushing myself closer to his mouth. The soft chuckle against my swollen bud made my thighs shudder harder as vibrations from his voice danced across my sensitive wet skin.
“Eyes, sugar.”
When I willed my eyes open and looked down my body. The scruff of his beard already chafed my inner thighs as he licked me in maddening, steady circles. One by one, he laved my slick lips before coming back to center and circling my aching bud.
When his eyes met mine, I inhaled and sat up straighter. He moved with me, his mouth never breaking contact with my core.
I opened my mouth to breathe, because I wasn’t getting enough air in through my nose. My white spaghetti straps hung low on my arms, the neck of my dress dipped low under my breasts, pushing them up and out while the rest of the dress lay secure above my hips.
With his hands wrapped around my thighs, he pulled my skin back so far that I could see the tip of his tongue tease around my clit. I’d never seen anything more erotic, and I broke.
“Please . . . please, babe.” I reached one hand into his hair, smoothing it behind his ear and cupping his cheek.
“Ask me,” he demanded, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Harder.” My muscles spasmed and jumped with each swipe of his tongue.
“Good, baby,” he murmured against my skin before flicking his tongue directly over my clit this time.
“Ohhh, Jesus . . . yes,” I choked out, before he covered my cleft entirely and kissed my pussy the way he kissed my mouth, with long, firm licks, and small, teasing bites. The harder he stroked me, the tighter my abdominal muscles constricted, the more my clit pulsed.
Our eyes stayed locked, and fuck me if the connection didn’t tu
rn me on more. All at once, I was moving my hips against his mouth, riding his tongue. The table shook as I quivered on top of it. He dropped down lower, spearing me with his tongue. At the absence of his hot mouth, cold air hit me and the throbbing bordered on unbearable.
“More. Oh, God that feels so good . . . ”
He slid his tongue to my center and swept it up and down over my hardened bud. I ran my hands through his hair, keeping it out of his face as he devoured me so thoroughly if I died right there on the table, I’d die content.
The burn came quick and built with each flick, each alternating circle of his tongue, but when he switched up to the near non-existent brushes over the top again, I cried out, “No! Don’t stop. Oh, please . . . don’t . . . stop.”
He chuckled. “Should I let you come, sugar?”
I sucked in a breath and grabbed his face. “God, please. Yes.”
The scrape of his beard teased my inner thighs right before he sucked my clit hard. Every muscle in my lower body seized, held, and contracted in small electric shocks. His grip on my thighs tightened as he drew out every last tremor, which intensified the ache swirling inside me.
Since he had me supported, I reached around his back and wrenched his shirt up, bunching it in my hands until I had the end behind his neck. I ripped it over his head, forcing him to break contact to remove it.
“Stand up,” I rasped, my throat raw. Slipping his hands under my ass, he stood up with me in his arms. I wiggled until he put me back on the ground in front of him.
I rubbed eager hands over his chest, now glowing with a light sheen of sweat. As I fastened my mouth to one of his hard nipples, I dropped my hands to his belt. The slap of leather against leather and the clank of metal rattled through the hallway. I didn’t take the time to pull the belt out; I unhooked and unzipped his pants, shoving them and his boxers down enough to free his beautiful cock—beauty and power. Every fucking inch of him.
The second his pants were down enough, he squatted, pushed his hands between my legs and lifted me up. My lower legs dangled over his forearms. “Hold tight, baby.”
Phoenix (Flames & Ashes Book 1) Page 26
