He looked at me for a second in surprise with his gray eyes flicked with hints of silver before he nodded and said, “Sure.” His tone hadn’t been gleeful but rather filled with minor shock.
To say I was anxious was an understatement. My hand literally shook when I twisted my keys in the door. I had to psych myself out of looking like a total freak calming myself down. This is no big deal Mercy I said to myself. Taking several steps inside to my left and down a step, I dropped my bag on the coffee table in the living room. When I turned to ask him if he wanted a drink I nearly barreled into him. He’d been on my heels following me close. I looked up at him and met his eyes. “Uh, you want something to drink?” I mused.
His smile was radiant. “Coke,” he said. Before I turned to go to the kitchen, I was sure he’d flushed a bit.
“Ok,” I said, shimming around him to go to the kitchen located in back of my house. Quickly grabbing two Cokes from the fridge, I headed back. I admit I wasn’t sure of what to expect next. He was sitting on the sunny yellow sofa my mom so loved when I came back into the living room. The flower decorated pillows were at his back. I didn’t know if I should sit next to him or on the flower printed chair across from it. I didn’t want to send the wrong signals.
Making my decision easy he scooted over so I wouldn’t have to go by him and evade the table in front of him. So I sat next to him. Kicking myself I realized I should have really talked more to Maggie about this before I left her at school. This was all so new to me.
Handing him his Coke, I cracked open mine. I took a swallow before setting mine down on the table. It felt awkward now. I didn’t know what to say and well he hadn’t struck up a conversation either. I looked to the table and noticed he hadn’t opened his Coke. He’d just sat it on the table. So I angled my head to look at him thinking of conversation to make.
“When are baseball tryouts?” I asked. I had this unbearable need to break the silence.
“Next month?” he said eagerly. He must have been searching for a topic of conversation as well. “Are you going out for softball or track?”
“Softball probably,” I answered. I’d played sports every year at school. I was surprised he noticed enough to ask.
“Cool,” he said shaking his head and looking away from me.
“My mom’s not going to be home for a while,” I said before thinking. I quickly cursed myself and closed my eyes at the blunder I made. I didn’t want him thinking this was an open invitation to anything. But well, I did want to kiss him.
His head snapped back to me although he was still leaning forward with his arms on his knees. I glanced away from his stare because I was totally embarrassed by my words. Their meaning to him was apparent by the look on his face. I felt the couch shift with his movement.
When I turned back to look at him again his lips met mine. I had no time to prepare. The rush of heat was instant. I closed my eyes like they did in the movies to take in the sensations. It felt magnetic as if we couldn’t be parted. Waves of something I can’t describe rolled over and into me. I would understand later just what that sensation was.
I thought I died and gone to heaven until the front door opened and my mom walked in. I jerked back, horrified, staring at my mother in the doorway when Paul’s head hit my lap. Dumbstruck, I pushed him away urgently, never looking from my mother’s furious eyes. It was too late to warn him of the impending danger when he simply rolled off my lap and thudded on the floor.
“Paul,” I gasped when I saw him unmoving on the floor. Heart pounding, I fell on my knees next to him ready to do CPR. Looking at him however, I couldn’t remember the life saving technique I’d just learned last week in heath. My hands were shaking when I leaned down over him to check if he was breathing. Thankfully my mom moved into action dropping the grocery bags with a crash on the floor.
“Don’t Mercy, move away and don’t touch him?” she rambled on as I felt for a pulse ready to give him mouth to mouth.
She shoved me lightly away and tilted her ear to his mouth and listened. She then placed her hands on his throat and counted silently in her head. My mom was an RN so I trusted she knew what to do. I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks while I waited.
“Should I call 911?” I asked breaking her concentration.
Shaking her head and she continued to count. Finally she turned back to me and said, “He’ll be fine. Help me move him.” She shoved the coffee table toward the flower chair and we positioned him in the spot it had been. The two Cokes spilled to the carpet when the tabled moved. My opened can was the one to cause damage to the neutral colored carpet while it fell. Neither of us paid that much attention.
“Mom, what’s wrong with him. Should we call a doctor or his parents?” I asked.
She patted the sofa before she got up and sat on it herself. I looked at her stunned. Paul lay on the ground and even though she was an RN he wasn’t moving. Now wasn’t the time for a chat.
“Mom, we can’t just leave him like this,” I pleaded.
She continued to pat the seat next to her without saying anything but giving me a look that said not to challenge her on this. Finally, I obeyed but not without throwing another worried look at Paul who looked like he was sleeping if not anything else.
She faced me with her somber blue eyes and her easygoing close-cut blond hair spiky from her recent hand rubbing through it. I knew there was trouble coming in the words that would follow her mouth parting. “Mercy, there is something you should know.”
I looked in befuddlement. What does this have to do with anything? Paul needed help I thought, looking helplessly at him.
She took my hands and looked down on them before meeting my eyes again. “I thought I had more time before I’d have to tell you this.”
“What?” I asked still confused as why this was the right time for this.
She looked at Paul who lay still on the ground. “Apparently I waited too long,” she said with her hands folded creating a triangle shape under her chin.
“Mom,” I said wanting to get Paul to the hospital seeing as he was still so still.
She looked at me for another long moment then said three words I will never forget, even though I didn’t know or understand their meaning at first. “You are succubus,” she said on a heavy sigh. “And this is what will happen to any boy you kiss.”
I frowned. “Is that a slang term for slut or something? If so I’ve never kissed a boy until today,” I said not understanding the meaning of the word succubus. I should have been mortified at my mother walking in unexpectantly on my first kiss. I was at first, but now I was on the defensive.
“No and I know that you haven’t kissed a boy before. That is something that wouldn’t have gone unnoticed,” she said tersely.
My eyes glazed over as she began to explain that I was half human, half succubus. In a gist it meant I stole the life force of any human being I kissed. It got weirder when she explained the birds and bees to me and how sex was also deadly, at least for me. As a teenager with dreams of boys, prom and such I didn’t think my life could go on. Abnegation was my only option now. There would be no boy who would date me and be content forever to only hold my hand. My mom did explain that later in life I would be able to contain the “demon” within me. She said I would be able to have normal relationships in the future. But now while my hormones raged on I wouldn’t be able to control it. Thus if I didn’t abstain from everything I could kill someone unwittingly as I almost did with Paul.
I was so embroiled by what she was telling me, I didn’t notice and neither did she that Paul had regained consciousness. His eyes were wide open and it was clear he’d heard enough of our conversation to know just what I was.
She’d sworn him to secrecy and shooed him off as my life as I knew it ended. I thought that my life would be ruined more the next day by his words if he chose to tell or even give any version of the day’s events. But my worry for the next day of school proved fruitless because Paul proved himself loyal to
his word. More than that, he didn’t ignore me either. We remained friends, even best friends as time passed. He knew more about me than I could share with Maggie.
The memory faded. Back in the bathroom, I wished he hadn’t worked tonight so he could have come. Paul had changed in these last few years from cute nerd to cool nerd. He was really good at baseball and was considered among the elite seniors in school. If he’d been here, he would have gotten me out of the mess somehow.
Thinking to my second kiss ever, I pondered why nothing happened to Flynn. I hadn’t kissed anyone out of fear since Paul. Maybe my mother had lied to me so I wouldn’t date. Maybe it was some extreme no teen sex talk. Looking at myself in the mirror again I gathered tissue to pat my face dry. I was unconcerned with the consequences of the wetness because I hadn’t been wearing much in the way of makeup except a little lip gloss today. I pulled the tube out of my pocket. I looked at it a second.
Maybe the kiss had been too quick or I’d been to nervous and somehow that protected Flynn. I applied my lip gloss and headed out the door. On the other side, Luke stood with his hand mid air apparently ready to knock on the door.
“Hey,” he said. “I just came to see if you were alright.”
I had to look up to see into his marine blue eyes. They seemed so sincere. He was surely cute but totally off limits to me. I looked away from his face staring into his chest. I’d known that the guys in the room were tall but being so close to Luke let me know just how tall he was. Clearly he was over six feet because I stood five feet six inches.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m fine.”
“The guys can be jerks at times, but they don’t mean anything by it.”
I looked back up at him and gave him a tentative smile. I was surprised by his honest intention to make me feel better. I thought Maggie would have followed me to the bathroom but instead here was Luke looking at me with eyes that spoke volumes. I stepped back creating distance between us thinking how great it could be if I could actually have a boyfriend without killing him.
Luke didn’t move and I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. So against my better judgment for the third time tonight I took a step back in his direction.
“Are you coming back in?” he asked.
I couldn’t leave Maggie as much as I wanted to. The worst was over, right? “Yes, I guess I’m in total abnegation. Lead the way,” I said holding out my hand in a gesture mimicking my words.
He smiled and didn’t ask the mean of my word of the day before turning and leading me back into the private room. Points for him, I thought. I’d only just sat back down when the door open and Paul peaked in. I had to contain myself from jumping to cross over to him at the sight. I needed him now more than ever. But when he walked in followed by his new girlfriend, Amber, my heart was crushed. He still looked like the same boy I kissed two years ago only he wasn’t as gangly. He’d grown into his tall frame an even added muscle definition to his physique. The only difference was tonight he didn’t sport his usual baseball cap.
I relished our friendship more than he could ever possibly imagine. But secretly I wished for more. Where Flynn spawned a quick burn of lust with his gorgeousness, Paul inspired a longing for something more. I’d long ago considered Paul my soul mate even if he didn’t know it. He understood me and he accepted all of me just the way I was. In my heart I longed not be a half weird demon and just a girl.
Paul and I had liked each other and who knew what could have been if I hadn’t almost killed him. But that was one secret I kept from him and Maggie alike. She would never understand why it couldn’t be between the two of us unless my mom would let me let her in on our secret. After tonight I would seriously consider telling her despite my mother because I couldn’t do this again.
I looked up into Paul’s eyes and he gave me a quick smile before greeting his other friends. What would come next could possibly cause me nightmares.
Chapter Three
calumny (n.) an attempt to spoil someone else’s reputation by spreading lies
“You’re just in time,” Flynn announced to Paul. “Mercy here was about to take her turn in a friendly game of truth and dare.”
Stunned I turned from Paul’s warm eyes to what had to be the devilish eyes of Flynn. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around why he seemed to be picking on me tonight.
Catching the anger I expressed with my own eyes, he smiled back at me and said slyly, “You didn’t think your escape would get you off that easy,” Flynn said.
Tongue in cheek, I bit it to choke off the slew of expletives I wanted to spew. Although the verbal barge would sooth my anger it would do no more than fuel whatever Flynn was trying to insight in me.
“So what will it be,” he said smoothly. “Truth or Dare?”
Everyone who’s played this game knows that either choice is a trap. If you say truth, you will be asked a completely embarrassing question that can have no good answer. The choice of a dare was no better as it would set you up to do something equally embarrassing. If I hadn’t wanted to back down from the challenge in Flynn’s eyes, I would have turned to give Maggie a view of my anger s.
With impenetrable stare and equally daring challenge I said sternly, “Truth.” It was the lesser of the evils.
Flynn narrowed his eyes as if he hoped I’d answered dare. I waited on his question wondering what he could possibly ask me that would embarrass me knowing that had been his plan all along. There could be no other reason. So focusing in on plausible questions I couldn’t really think of any. I wasn’t dating anyone and had no crushes in this room except of course, Paul. The thought made my stomach sink. If he asked me about Paul, even if I lied the rumor mill would spread.
A grin erupted on Flynn’s face as if he’d come up with the wickedest question to ask. “Are you a virgin?” he announced.
Astounded, I could have melted into the floor. I should have guessed. This was the worst possible question. I didn’t understand where Flynn’s calumny rooted from. The Paul question I could have lied and even with speculation, that rumor would die soon. Paul and I could survive scrutiny. But this question had no good answer. I repeat none. I was in a room full of seniors and the most popular ones at that. If I said I was a virgin, I look like a total dweeb, social misfit and certainly not worthy of sitting in this room. Name calling would be poignant and brutal. My sexuality would be put into question. I certainly didn’t measure up in the beauty scale with this bunch. I should be out in with the other seniors dancing with the rhythmic music. I didn’t belong here. I was just an average girl who couldn’t date.
But if I said I wasn’t, well of course I’d be admitting to being a slut because nothing’s changed when it came to girls and boys. Girls who do are loose and slutty where as boys who do are studs; so unfair all of it was.
“Well,” I heard a female voice ask in the background. I didn’t turn to look. I didn’t want to see anyone’s face. But I was certain it was Amanda because of the snarky tone and smirk to the question.
My eyes hardened on Flynn. I wanted him to see my total distain and contempt for him. I should have stood and walked out without answering the question. That would have been the wise choice. It would have been better not to give into him.
Instead, I answered truthfully. “Yes,” and I stood with all the dignity I could muster and this time walked to the door without any further words. Stepping out of the room, I quietly closed the door behind me even though my temper wanted to slam it. It didn’t matter, I tried to tell myself. I didn’t stop my forward progress and never did I glance back at Maggie on my way out of the room. I was furious. Not really at her, but at me for coming in the first place. And of course my resentment was directed at Flynn, the giant ass.
When I heard the door open again behind me, I didn’t turn around. I assumed Paul or Maggie had come after me. I felt the tug on my shoulder from behind, I whirled around ready to spout my anger. Instead of Paul or Maggie standing before me, it was Luke.
> “Hey,” he said looking into my angry eyes. It was as if he could read me. Then he said, “I told Maggie and Paul I’d check on you. I was odd man out anyway with you gone.” Funny, I’d thought I’d had been the odd man out as well.
He was so close I could hear him over the blasting music. His blue eyes weren’t cold like Flynn’s. They were warm like the ocean surrounding a tropical island. Warm waves of comfort seem to pour off of him and into me. I felt the heat of anger course out of me slowly replaced by calm.
“Thanks,” I said, taking a deep breath. It wasn’t his fault I was here. I wouldn’t take my fury out on him. “I’ll be fine. You can go back to your friends,” I added, half turning.
He kept his eyes steady on me. “You know he was just joking. He’s really not a bad guy,” he said, trying to smooth things over.
I let out a choked laugh. “Yeah, right. He’s got total calumny against me.”
He didn’t answer. But with a serious face he asked, “You want to dance?”
He was so cute and it was terribly sweet for him to come and check on me not once but twice tonight. He didn’t flitch at either of my SAT words, so another point for him. What was the worst that could happen? “Sure,” I said with a smile.
He took my hand and twirled me around taking the lead. I followed him to the middle of the living room where the furniture was pushed off to the walls leaving the space open for a make shift dance floor. He didn’t stop on the outskirts of the swaying bodies. He pulled me into the throngs of the middle encapsulated by the activity. We began to dance. I wasn’t self-conscious dancing with him like I thought I might be. We were squished between in the middle of everyone. No one was even watching me as drinks were passed to open hands. I wasn’t a bad dancer. In fact I liked dancing a lot. Maybe it was all the dance classes my mother subjected me to as a child.
Beg for Mercy - kindle edition v3 Page 2
