Luke had been a boy I hadn’t bothered to notice before because all boys had been off limits to me. Now he walked me each day to my first period class. Interestingly enough he returned to giving me airbrush kisses which only fueled me to put my plan into action. Each time he’d give me the phantom kiss, I have to admit it bedazzled me with imaginary jewels every time he did it. The way his hand would finger through my hair to cup the back of my head drawing me near was amazing every time. I’d floated through class and the halls between periods until lunch when I would see him again.
I was shoving my books in my locker before heading to the cafeteria when Maggie squeezed my arm and nearly scared me out of my chucks. The ones I wore today were grey with a pink tongue. Changing my style just a bit, I wore a v-neck sweater paired with my usual jeans. The sweater gave a tiny view to my assets more than I normally showed. But I was feeling a bit girly these days. Don’t count it against me.
“Shit Maggie, you scared the heck out of me.” I said with a scowl I didn’t really mean. I had been in my head reliving each moment with Luke and hadn’t been paying any attention to anything around me.
I saw her frown and realized that my anger had thrown her off. Maggie was so American but every now and then you could hear in her voice her Irish roots. Her father sported an accent even though he basically grew up here. But his parents had been immigrants to America and they’d taken their family back to Ireland as often as possible.
“Why are you being a dork? Is Flynn bothering you again? If so, I’ll tell Brent or Luke to kick his ass for you?” she said in a rush of words.
The lyrical tone to her voice snapped me out of the cloud I’d been in. Her touch had pulled me out and inadvertently irritating the heck out of me. “Maggs, I’m sorry. Everything’s fine. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” I said in a sorrowful voice.
She beamed and I realized without her saying as much that all was forgiven. Her green eyes sparkle and I realized with complete clarity just how beautiful Maggie was. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t bat for the other team. But I see now why Maggie had belonged in that room with the elite Friday night. I’ve known her all my life so maybe I’d taken her for granted. Brent wasn’t using her. Heck, he should be proud to have her as a girlfriend.
“Why are you staring?” I heard Maggie say from a distance.
My eyes focused on hers. “Oh, nothing. Lunch?” I asked.
She gave me a quick once over as if I had landed on Mars and come back. But she didn’t question me further. She just dived into her news about how wonderful Brent was.
In the last few days, I found I really liked Brent at least from her point of view. Still chatting about nothing totally important from my perspective, Brent walked up behind us and put his huge arm around Maggie’s shoulder. She giggled in surprise. Gosh, we hadn’t even made it to the lunchroom yet but I felt as if I’d gag on anything I ate. Watching them was sickening. Then, I wondered if anyone felt that way about me and Luke. I didn’t have to think long when Nina crossed my field of vision before disappearing in the cafeteria.
I was jarred back when I heard Brent’s voice. “Hey babe,” he said to Maggie, then he nodded at me “Mercy.”
“Brent,” I said back in acknowledgement. Suddenly, I felt like the third wheel and turn my head slightly to see Flynn standing to my right. I jumped again putting a hand to my chest heaving in breaths. I want to curse at him but decide against. Things had been calm between us and I didn’t want to do anything that would change that.
I saw in his eyes a storm that began to cloud over as he noticed my hand still at my chest. “Jumpy,” was all he said.
I gave him that famous head lift that says Yes without actually using the words because I was struck silence at the sight of him. I didn’t expect him there or prepare to see him. So I was caught off guard by just how good looking he really was. I already knew this but it was really hard to look at him. I adverted my eyes. Last thing I needed was for Flynn to get his daily ego boost from me.
Gentle hands gathered on my shoulders and saved me. A whisper in my ear came shortly after. “Hey beautiful.”
I don’t know why but I shot a quick glance at Flynn. I just caught him rolling his eyes and pulling away from our little group as we made our way into the cafeteria. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Back at you.” I said tilting my head back to look at Luke who towered over me. I touched my hands to his enjoying this little moment. His arms encircled me drawing me back nearly making me stumble before he let me go to take my hand. I was laughing as we got into line right behind Nina.
I went still for no other reason than respect. I didn’t want to laugh and have her feel bad. I wasn’t sure I even liked the girl but somehow I knew if the shoe was on the other foot how I might feel.
Luke went quiet too but he didn’t let go of my hand right away when I tried to shake it off. She never turned around. She knew we were there. Yet she chose to ignore us, which made me feel even worse. I didn’t have an appetite anymore. Preparing if things changed, I put fries and apple cranberry juice on my tray.
Weird, although it shouldn’t have been, was that we ended up following her to the usual senior table. I moved to sit at the opposite end of where she sat. Jay and Kathy were already sitting along with Paul, Amber, Amanda and Flynn who had been only a few more people ahead of us in line.
Maggie sat next to me and whispered even though everyone was talking and not paying us any real attention. “What was that all about?” she said.
I shrugged. “Nothing,” I said back. Because really, when you think about it, it was nothing but a kind gesture on my part that really didn’t need to be spoken.
I picked up a fry and dipped it into ketchup I’d poured from a little packet. I stole a glance in Nina’s direction somehow curious of her reaction to me. Maybe I expected acknowledgement to my kindness. But instead I was disregarded. She never even looked at me. That may have been a blessing.
Hand in hand after lunch, Luke walked me to class as he’d done each day this week. The anticipation of the not kiss was killing me. The hall was empty because we’d left lunch before the bell. Maggie had winked at me on our way out, sure we were headed for a make out session. I felt slammed against the lockers as the wind escaped my lungs yet he hadn’t touched me. Leaning against the lockers, I had to stare up to look at him. It was my eagerness that had cleared my breath. His summer blue eyes seemed to glow now. There was a fire in them I’d never seen.
We didn’t speak but just looked at each other in silent conversation. I knew what my eyes were saying. My mouth however wouldn’t dare to speak those words as long as my mind was in control. Kiss me. The heat that flared over my skin was electric. I felt something begin to bubble inside me wanting to take over where I was afraid to go.
His hand came up as he took a step forward. I was sure he’d read my mind. I waited like this moment could last forever. His head tilted forward as I patiently held expectantly. When our skin met, the top of his head touched mine. His hand that I had forgotten about touched my chin. I’d assumed he’d tilt my head so our mouths could reach each other. I wasn’t in a position to stop him because I didn’t wanted him too.
But instead his thumb brushed lightly over my bottom lip tracing it leaving a tingling sensation in its wake. Yearning, I felt alive. I was certain I hadn’t felt this way before. He pulled back, but I held on to his hand. I wasn’t ready for him to go and he’d cheated me from his airbrush kiss. He looked at me when I didn’t let go of his hand. Still I didn’t speak. I let my eyes tell my story hoping he could read it.
His words came out rough yet quiet, “If you don’t let me go, I will kiss you.” His eyes were like meteors ready to make a landing as flecks of gold danced in them.
Still I held on to his hand. I wanted to say, Kiss me and don’t hold back. Instead I caught a glimmer of silver behind him. Looking away from his captured gaze, I saw the lingering Homecoming Dance poster from an event that transpired ov
er two weeks ago. I hadn’t gone. No date. Maggie hadn’t been dating anyone either. In a show of sister solidarity she stayed home with me and we watch a couple of old movies. Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club were the main event while we ate popcorn and ice cream. Not at the same time but over the course of the night.
It was then that it hit me. Like a crashing wave, I remembered the rumors that followed. Luke and Nina had broken up around that time. I wasn’t clear on the timing. But I wondered if they had broken up before or after the dance maybe even during the dance. Those thoughts sobered me up and I let go.
He searched my eyes but didn’t ask. “I’ll wait until you’re ready,” he said before walking away from me into the sea of students in the hall. I felt like a total prude. But If prude would keep him safe, I would embrace it.
I looked around dazed for a moment wondering when the bell had rung because I hadn’t heard it. How could I have missed the bell? And where had all the students come from suddenly appearing out of thin air? There was an unheard crackle in the air that made me look up. Like slow motion Nina whom I shared no classes with walked by. It was with painful slow and steady steps, she seemed to cross my path of vision. She looked at me not with quiet eyes to accept my little gift in the lunch line but rather a burning hate, I had to turn from.
I moved quickly inside my class room somehow ashamed. It wasn’t my fault they broke up. I had to keep telling myself that waiting for class to begin. But the truth was, I couldn’t have a boyfriend until I could control the life stealing leech inside me. And well, Luke deserved a girlfriend who could kiss him. He’d said he’d wait for me. But honestly when a high school boy says that to his girlfriend, he usually means he would wait until the girl was ready to have sex, not a kiss.
The bell rung and class began. I tried to pay attention not wanting to give into the thoughts that could ruin my relationship with Luke. I pushed all that aside and took notes on whatever my teacher had been saying.
Brent and Luke met Maggie and me at our lockers after school another tradition that began this week. They’d walk us to Maggie’s car and we’d chat for a bit before they’d head to football practice. Flynn hadn’t come along anymore this week which meant things were certainly looking up.
Luke again had his arms around me pulling my back tight against his chest. His chin was pressed to my hair and I reveled in our closeness. The November air was chillier now so I’d worn Luke’s jacket. Although it was big on me, that was the point. It was a fashion statement for those girls lucky to have one. Those jackets were worn by the lucky with pride.
“It shot out like gun,” Brent was saying.
“It was so gross, I nearly barfed myself,” Maggie added.
Luke was laughing and I’d missed most of what Brent had been saying, but I could guess that someone had thrown up in school. I was clear on that, but hadn’t heard the full story. However, I didn’t want to let them in on the fact that I hadn’t been listening.
“Glad we missed that,” Luke said still laughing.
“I wished I did,” Maggie said eyeing me suspiciously but not saying anything. She would ask me later where my mind had gone, I was sure.
Brent turned to Maggie and gazed in her eyes like she was the last girl on earth. It was an amazing look. One that I thought I might have seen on Paul’s face. Brent couldn’t have cared less that we stood watching not three feet away.
“See ya, babe,” he said before scooping her up and kissing her off her feet. She squealed in delight and I was truly happy for her.
Luke kissed the top of my head and turned me to look in my eyes. He gathered in a deep breath. I bit my lower lip hoping at least for the airbrush kiss. He smiled at me and gave the barest of chuckles so light under his breath I barely caught it. He had his tongue in his cheek before he said, “I’ll call you later tonight.” Then he corrected himself. “Oh, your dinner is tonight. Call me after.” He let go of my hand which I hadn’t noticed he was holding because I hadn’t breathed waiting again for the kiss that never came.
Brent had set Maggie on her feet and caught up with Luke when Paul tapped me on my shoulder and I jumped again. I wasn’t normally so jumpy but the news about the missing women only got grimmer these days. The missing girl hadn’t been found but another dead girl had turned up.
“Crap, is everyone trying to give me a heart attack today.” I said.
“Sorry,” he said and laughed. I looked at him again wondering what about today had my eyes so open to everything around me. The sky was a gorgeous blue that reminded me of summer with only thin ribbons of white sparsely clouding the sky. But it was chilly and Paul stood before his in only a blue Hollister tee and jeans with no jacket. His lightly tanned arms were a contradiction to the season. I looked up at his face to see the dark hair underneath his customary hat. It was as if he couldn’t wait for school to be over to put it back on to frame the nerdy but super cute face that made him Paul.
Our eyes locked and I remembered our kiss like it was yesterday. This is probably not a good thing. I have a boyfriend now who was amazing. And Paul had a girlfriend I actually approved of although I would never tell him so ever. Something passed between us.
Maggie said to Paul, “Did you hear about what happened at lunch?”
“What?” he said, obviously he hadn’t.
“A freshman girl at lunch tossed her cookies on her boyfriend,” she began.
Like a magnet I couldn’t help the next few steps I took finding myself standing inches away from Paul.
“Her table was not too far from ours.” Maggie was saying.
I stood lifting on my toes to reach my hand to his hat. I took it off revealing his hair molded to head in the shape of the inside of his cap. His dark hair curled around the edges of the imprint of the hat now gone from his head. His eyes went wide.
“Her boyfriend must have had a bull’s-eye on his shirt,” Maggie continued not paying attention to us. She thoroughly enjoyed gossip and couldn’t be interrupted from her storytelling.
I threaded my fingers in his hair gently lifting it bringing it back to life. His hand came to my waist to grab at the hat behind my back. He had to move lower to reach because he was taller than me. His decent lower was suddenly leading into something that could change everything between us.
Maggie who still hadn’t stopped talking said “And she threw up all over her boyfriend.” She paused and looked at us one by one slowly finally getting what I was feeling. “But both of you were MIA,” she said gradually still taking us in.
Paul’s hand dropped from my waist, head snapped up, and he took a step back. So he’d felt the change too. Maggie pointed at Paul, “You were MIA all of lunch. So was Amber,” she said with accusation.
Then she pointed at me, “And you left lunch early with Luke.” Her eyes peered at me as if a realization came to light.
Paul eyes narrowed a moment but softened when Maggie turned her attention back to him and then to me again.
“I swear if you too weren’t dating other people I would think that you guys finally got back together.” She threw up her arms in exasperation. “But I know that neither of you would hurt Amber or Luke.” Her words were sharp in warning. She looked at us again before speaking. “Whatever?” she said as if she was through with both of us and strode to the other side of her car getting in.
When the engine ignited to life, Paul finally spoke. I’d been looking away thinking. If Maggie saw what she saw, did Paul really have a torch for me that burned as bright as mine had? What would I do about it if it were true? And who else could see the light that burned between us. “Can we talk?” he asked.
Before I could answer, Maggie rolled down the passenger side window. “You coming Eme.”
I smiled at Paul feeling flirtatious. I mouthed call me holding my hand up mimicking a phone to my ear. His eye flared to life and I realized I shouldn’t have done that. Maggie was right. There were two people involved now. It was way past too late for Paul and I. But somet
hing inside me stirred and wanted Paul in spite of it all. I turned and got in the car leaving Paul standing there in confusion.
It wasn’t until we gotten far away that I understood what had just happened. I wasn’t a cheater. I’d never cheat. Well technically I never had a boyfriend except of the few weeks with Paul until that fateful kiss.
I felt the succubus recede into the shadows of my mind and knew it had taken over. I’d geared it up with thoughts and wants from Luke. Paul came and in my surprise it had taken over. Once it was gone it was so clear to see that. I would never have done those things or at least in the manner they had been done. Paul too had felt it. He was planning on kissing me. I knew it was whatever magnetic force the succubus had over its victim. Paul would never cheat on Amber even if he was interested in someone else. He was the kind of guy who would end things first. He’d give a cooling off period before jumping into the next relationship.
“What the hell was that, Eme.” Maggie said stringing out each word as burst of fun fire.
“Nothing,” I said because I couldn’t think of an excuse.
“There was so much more than nothing in what happened. I thought you were into Luke?”
“No, it’s not that,” I protested holding my head and leaning against the window hating to lie to her.
“What is it? Because I know you and there is no way you would do that to Luke or even Paul.”
“You’re right. I don’t know what got into me, alacrity maybe,” I muttered the last part.
“Alacrity,” she said exasperatedly. “I’m ignoring that. I’m not going to be drawn into your obsession with words,” she said on a huff. “But really, you’ve never gotten over him have you?” she said as if she said Ah Ha, got you.
Beg for Mercy - kindle edition v3 Page 8
