“You should care,” I began. My words were slurred, so I stopped surprised to hear my voice sound so sloppy. Then the world began to rotate with a warm fire roasting in my gut. I hoped I wouldn’t be sick.
He rolled his lip into his mouth with an intake of breath before he spoke. “Why should I?” he asked apparently not understanding that I hadn’t finished my thought. What was I going to say? I realized now that it was time to mention my boyfriend.
“My boyfriend,” I said still slurring. The ground titled and I felt myself about to fall. Everything was happening so slowly. His hand reached out and grabbed my arm to steady me. His touch lit the flame of desire that had been kindling. I felt the succubus take control moments too late to stop it.
“See, I knew he was your boyfriend,” he said as if he didn’t notice that something was wrong with me.
Trying to regain control, I managed to say “No.” I tried to stand but I was swaying. I needed to leave before it did something stupid.
He stood and chuckled under his breath. “Guess you had too much to drink?”
I was dizzy and not in control. “I don’t drink,” I said, somehow able to muster the words out of my mouth. I staggered in the direction of the door to the building. Walking was a bit of a chore. It felt as if the earth was tilting.
He came to help me up, putting his arms around me to steady me when Flynn burst through the doors. When I saw him, I laughed out loud as if something was funny. If I wasn’t beyond tipsy I might have noticed that we were no longer moving. The two boys eyed each other in a semi standoff.
“Flynn,” I said as if I was so happy to see him. I reached out my hands to him.
“Mercy, are you ok,” Flynn asked. He looked genuinely worried.
“Yes,” I said sounding out each syllable. “Great, party,” I added drawing out the phrase.
“I should take you home,” Flynn said. I couldn’t read his expression because he wasn’t standing in one place or was he? My equilibrium was shot. It almost seemed like there was two of him.
“Good night, Kayla,” Sebastian said from behind me. He’d let me go when Flynn had reached me. I turned giving him the biggest grin. I started to walk towards him, letting the blackness grow inside me with purpose. Flynn hadn’t held on to me. I reached Sebastian with two steps, laying a hand on his face to draw him to me. He bent willingly, making my smile grow.
Then, I felt a hand on my arm pulling me back so violently that I twirled back crashing into Flynn’s chest.
“Who’s Kayla?” he said with narrowed eyes.
“I knew you weren’t her brother,” Sebastian said.
I swiveled back to look at Sebastian’s innocent face. I bit my lip wondering what it would have been like to kiss him.
“She is my sister,” Flynn said. I noticed his voice strained with anger.
“Well, then you’d know that McKayla is her middle name,” Sebastian said clearly happy with himself that he’d proven a point.
“She’s my step sister and my best friend’s girlfriend. So you can back off,” Flynn said drawing an invisible line in the invisible sand with his words.
“If she’s not interested, I’ll will. But the way she’s looking at me now, I not so sure she’s not interested,” Sebastian said.
“It doesn’t matter what’s she’s feeling because it’s not happening,” Flynn said.
“And who’s to stop me,” Sebastian answered.
“They call him Rat, Flynn. Maybe you should be worried,” I said ending on a giggle.
Flynn spun me back to him to look in my eyes but the move made my stomach revolt for a second. I don’t know what he saw but he looked back up at Sebastian. My phone rang. As uncoordinated as I was, I managed to pull it out.
“Paul,” I said exasperatedly. My voice was full of glee as well.
“Hi,” Paul said. He sounded seriously suspicious through the phone. He knew me, so I was certain he guessed I was drunk just by me saying his name.
It was so good to hear his voice and I told him so. “I so glad you called. I missed you so much. I’m at this great party,” I began in a barrage of words. Then in a whisper I said, “And I think I may be drunk. What are you doing?” Well, if he hadn’t known, he knew now my current state.
“Mercy,” I heard him say before the phone was plucked out of my hands.
“Paul, it’s me Flynn. Mercy will have to call you back later.” Flynn said then hit the end button the phone.
“Let’s go home,” Flynn said patiently. He took my hand and walked me not the way we came but to the other side of the building.
“Bye, Sebastian,” I said grinning and blowing air kisses while I was dragged away. Sebastian stared at me grinning back. He looked very amused and I felt satisfied that I made him happy.
“Bye, Kayla,” he said and winked at me again. Coming from his gorgeous face with an expression of self confidence, he looked so wicked doing it. I clutched my free hand to my chest. Then he winked again those amazing eyes and the butterflies took flight in my stomach. He watched me as we went to the other side of the building. I wanted to run back to him or rather the monster that lived inside of me did. The blackness was really disappointed it didn’t get to finish what it started.
With Sebastian out of sight, I turned my attention back to Flynn. I started singing ‘It’s a Beautiful Day’ by U2. Shaky and woozy, I tried to keep up besides his rapid moving feet, dancing to the unheard beat. I caught Flynn with a smirk on his handsome face shaking his head. We came to a stop in front of a motorcycle. Another fit of giggles escaped my throat.
“Mercy, I want to drive you home. It’s the fastest way but do you think you can hang on?” he asked.
I looked up at him. The words came like an eruption. “You are so winsome its criminal,” I said.
The way his nose crinkled when he frown just now was so cute. “What the hell is winsome?” he asked.
I smiled up at him, “Its means charming, silly,” I breathed. “You’re just so damn hot,” I said a little more to myself. I looked away into the night. In a strange way it was liberating to get that off my chest.
“The word today was coquet,” he said frowning.
I laughed looking back at him. “I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. But there is more than one app,” I added.
But he didn’t seem pleased by my admission. “Mercy, I need you to answer me,” he said, rather calmly despite the look on his face.
“Yeah, sure I can,” I said nearly singing the words to cover my disappointed over his reaction throwing my hands in the air in annoyance.
He put something on my head after gently smoothing stray hairs back from my face. He was so close, I could feel his breath on my cheek. If I lifted on my toes, I could kiss him.
But the moment passed when he stepped back away from me. I didn’t think he had a clue where my thoughts had gone. A kiss, my subconscious told me. I needed to kiss someone and soon.
He told me to stay still, but I hadn’t been moving. I mean the world was moving but I was stood still watching it. He moved forward to me, taking helmet off my head again. I blew my bangs up from my face. His hand was in my hair. My high ponytail on my head the made the helmet not fit right. The succubus took the movement as an invitation. Leaning in I brushed my lips against his. When he pulled my hair free of the elastic band, he stepped back.
He gave no indication he’d even felt the touch of my lips to my face other than an odd expression I couldn’t read. I stood there hands at my side not happy he’d ignored my invitation to kiss me.
He hopped on the bike and told me to get on behind him. I stared at him a long moment pouting before I gave in. It took some doing. He held my hand guiding me on behind him. I finally made it on holding him around his waist tightly like he told me. I felt every muscle in his abdomen. It was amazing to be this close to him. I laid my head on his back melting like I knew girls before me had.
If the world hadn’t been spinning before I got on this darn thi
ng, it certainly was now. The sensation that I was falling became so great, I held onto him tighter. In my drunken haze, I couldn’t tell what route we took home and I didn’t care. Even the road we were on was a mystery. When the bike stopped, I stumbled off when he told me to. I thought I might hit the pavement but Flynn was there to steady me.
He was holding me so close a breath away I looked him in the eye. “You have amazing eyes,” I said.
Frowning at me, he said, “You’re going to hate yourself in the morning for all the nice things you’re saying to me.”
I poked my lip out in a perfect pout. “Why is it that you’ve dated all the girls in school except me? Am I ugly?” It was something I secretly wondered even when he kissed me for the first time playing spin the bottle. Clearly, I wasn’t thinking at all. Whatever popped in my mind I simply said and couldn’t stop myself.
He branded me with his feverish hands on either side of my face. The darkness filled my eyes. Taking two steps forward, my succubus firmly in control again was going press my lips against his kissable mouth. He spoke and I felt him close but he spoke to me. “You’re not ugly,” he said.
I thought that might be all he would say. My hands wrapped around his wrist with his hands still on my face. What was inside me planned to yank him forward and force his face closer than the hair thin line that separated us.
“And I haven’t dated all the girls in school,” he declared. Leaning forward he sat me down on a cobble step that made the path to the front door. He stood up and blew a long exasperated breath into the hand that covered his mouth. He turned his back to me and took a couple of steps forward.
A thought occurred to me that he might be walking back to the bike. The succubus still in control decided to lay us back on the cool ground in frustration. I was glad in a way not to be in control. My head hadn’t yet cleared the beer from my system. I was warm atop the bare and smooth cobbled stones of the walkway. It felt good releasing all the heat from my body.
“No, you don’t date ugly girls and you never tried to date me,” I said steadily. I hadn’t noticed I no longer slurred every words but only a few. I began to figure out I was in control of one part of my body even though I’d like to think otherwise.
He didn’t respond right away. I wasn’t even sure he heard me until he came back and sat beside me. Expelling another long breath he said, “I guess it doesn’t matter since you probably won’t remember this tomorrow anyway.”
“Remember what?” I asked. The neurons in my brain still weren’t firing correctly.
“Exactly,” he replied.
“Why, Flynn. Why not me?” I said watching the swirling stars in the sky. It had been a question I wondered not because I wanted to date him, but out of insecurity. I needed to know if I was dateable. Sure I shouldn’t care because I had Luke but the beer had loosened my tongue.
I couldn’t see his face when he spoke. He looked straight out into the night or maybe his eyes were closed. “You’re the kind of girl a guy can fall for,” he said then paused before speaking again. “And you of all people know that love’s not possible for people like you and me.”
I didn’t say anything else. His voice had seemed quite sad and resigned. What I should have heard was that I should also be resigned to never being in love. But I didn’t hear that. Maybe it was the beer or maybe I was too optimistic about my future. It would only be a matter of time before that my sanguine view would be crushed.
“I need to get you upstairs,” he said.
I giggled still feeling a bit drunk. “I don’t think I can move.”
He watched me with hidden things in his eyes he hadn’t said. No longer grinning I said, “Why won’t you kiss me?” I kept my eyes intent on his waiting for his answer.
“Because you’ll hate me tomorrow,” he said with no hesitation. I wasn’t so sure about that at the moment. Standing he lifted me easily and cradled me in his arms as if I didn’t weigh a single pound. In his arms it felt strangely intimate.
Leaning my head back, I watched the stars go by. “Boy, you sure are strong. No wonder all the girls love you Flynn,” I said my giggles back. I closed my eyes enjoying the tender sensations of being in his arms.
Whispering like he didn’t want me to hear he said, “Not the right one.”
I let my eyes flutter open. The world was in full color again and our movements up the walkway made my world spin more out of control. I wrapped my arms around his neck to hang on. I closed my eyes again. When next I opened my eyes everything was dark and I felt something soft under me.
“Flynn,” I called out.
Out of the darkness, I heard him say, “Get some sleep, Mercy.”
Chapter Eighteen
dissipate(v.) to disappear, cause to disappear
I woke to a mouth that tasted like sandpaper. My head pounded to a jungle beat by a brick on the inside of my head. When I was finally able to get my legs to work, I slid them over the side of the bed. What was more distressing was that I wore no pants. I didn’t remember removing them. In fact, I still had on the shirt from last night. However, my throbbing head and cotton mouth were my immediate concerns at this point.
In my bathroom, I clamped my hands over my head when the burning bright lights I flick on. The curtains in my room had been drawn so this shock of light sent a searing pain in my head.
After splashing water on my face, I bent my head and drank from the faucet. Normally that would seem gross to me, but I was desperate. Beggars can’t be choosers. I didn’t foresee myself going downstairs until I got myself together. A couple of quick gulps and I proceeded to take care of my next immediate needs. With brushed teeth and one long shower later, I dressed for the day.
Still not sure I was ready to face the world, I checked my phone to realize I slept through the morning. It was early afternoon. Slowly, I took some time to unpack before I was brave enough to go downstairs to face Flynn or my mom.
Flynn, what was I going to say to him? Unlike everything I heard about being drunk, I didn’t find any of it true. I hadn’t thrown up or forgotten all the words that come from my mouth. But then again maybe I hadn’t drunk enough for that. There was no need to ponder because as of now, I’ve sworn myself against alcohol. What would I tell Luke?
Bravely, I headed downstairs I’d become conscious that I was alone. In the kitchen, I toasted a bagel and turned on the television to stop the pestering silence. But as one would expect when you’re bored, I couldn’t find anything to watch. Curiosity led me down to the private boat slip at the lake in front of the house. The day was unusually warm so I wore my bikini under a long tee shirt and shorts thinking about laying out for some late season rays. Just maybe I could get that golden tan Luke seemed to master all year around. Speaking of delectable boyfriends, I brought my cell phone to call him and Maggie. Even still, a feeling of foreboding was like a pressing weight on my chest.
In my cutoff shorts I brought to bum around the house, I felt like a hypocrite. Melody, the red haired shifter, had been wearing similar shorts last night. Granted it wasn’t this warm then, but she wasn’t human. Maybe her body temperature was different then mine. Nearing the water, I heard laughter and splashing water. Who would take a swim in fall? Ok, it was warm, but not really that warm.
I should have expected it but seeing it, I was still astonished. Flynn was in the water with some giggling blond who at this moment had her arms around his neck. I couldn’t see her face because her back was to me. My heart began to thud frantically in my chest before I could turn away. Flynn searched my eyes. Expressionless, he said nothing but his silence was enough for the girl to turn around. Who could blame her? He’d stopped paying attention to her to stare at me. I wanted to flee my confused feelings over seeing Flynn with a girl after my admission to him last night. But my legs wouldn’t move. She wiped her face free of the lake water to get a better look at me. She turned back to Flynn like I was meaningless. From what I could tell in the brief glance at her, she was definitely his
type, attractive and painfully so.
“Is that your sister?” she asked as if I wasn’t standing there. So I decided to oblige her by beginning my getaway.
“Mercy, right?” I heard her ask in reply to Flynn’s silence. Stupidly, I turned back. I didn’t say anything but the move was clear that she held my attention. She turned back to me. “Everyone’s going to the camp to watch scary movies, you should come.”
The last thing I wanted to do was to go back to the camp. I’d made a fool of myself not only in front of Flynn but Sebastian too. I wasn’t up to seeing the guy my succubus no doubted wanted. I was certain of that just by the way I could feel it stir inside of me at the thought of his name. Funny though I heard myself say, “Yeah, I’ll be there.”
For whatever reason I needed to show this girl that she didn’t bother me. I’d given Nina the benefit of the doubt and look how that turned out. I walked away with my head held high. Not just for her benefit, I wouldn’t give Flynn the satisfaction that seeing him with this girl on some level disturbed me even though it shouldn’t have. I needed to call Luke. Surely talking to him would put everything back into perspective.
Back at the house, in the safety of my room, I tried to call Maggie first. She didn’t answer, so I checked my messages next. She’d left me several. The gist of which was that she’d gotten in touch with Paul. She’d made him to promise to call me. Crap, I think he had. I closed my eyes laying back listening to her tell me to promise and call her back no matter the time. Then she said that if I didn’t call that night, I wouldn’t be able to talk to her until late Sunday or Monday because she was at a family gathering at her grandmothers. It was her nana’s birthday and family rules meant that all cell phones would be confiscated at the door. Well, I guess that explained why Maggie hadn’t answered.
Her message had reminded me about Paul. I vaguely remembered talking to him, but Flynn had interrupted. So, I dialed him next not thinking before I could talk myself out of it. His message came on. I left a brief message apologizing for last night and asking him to call. Then I dialed Luke.
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