A sharp exhale of breath left my lungs when I inadvertently stepped into the rough bark of a tree. With his hand still extended he reached me. Lightly, he tucked a few wild strands of hair behind my head. His touch was soft and tentative. Not pulling away, fingers stroked down my cheek leaving a trail of whispered possibilities of what could be. And just like that, I lost control again.
It was always strange when I sat in the passenger’s seat of my own body. Fear rolled through me. I was really afraid this time that the succubus would do something I wouldn’t be able to live with. I felt like a traitor. What was in me wasn’t like dual personality? When the succubus took control I still knew and felt everything that happened to me. I felt her desire like it was my own. But really in some way, was it my own? But rooted inside me was the girl who didn’t know she was a monster. She clung to ideals and values. This girl, me, felt like I was betraying Luke on every level.
He hissed out a breath. With a faint curve of his lips, he invaded my personal space. I had only invited one other to occupy that space. A part of me urged me to give in and close my eyes. I could almost pretend it was Luke. But he didn’t smell like Luke. Luke smell soapy clean and fresh. Sebastian smelled exotic and spicy. Uncontrollably, my hand shot forward pressing against his rock solid chest. He rolled his lip in his mouth and my body gasped. Heat rolled over me. The succubus was totally excited with the prospect of being next to this boy I knew next to nothing about. The feelings were intense, like they were almost mine.
“I see you through your eyes,” he said. I wondered what he meant but had no time to ponder. He leaned in to the point his lips lightly made contact with mine. Just then a twig popped loudly, just beyond the tree. He stiffened underneath my hand. His lips grazed my cheek when he turned his head. Only a breath of time past when he whispered in my ear, “Shh,” he said.
With his body pressed against mine, I didn’t dare move. I felt the urge to reach around him and pull him closer. Thankfully, the succubus was a lover not a fighter and let me have back the control at the hint of danger. Another snap of a twig and a crunch of dead leaves had my blood racing through my veins. Staring without moving his head, I was certain he’d seen something. Slowly, I turned my head in that direction. No more than fifty paces to our right stood a black and gray wolf.
Its eyes were pure gold. The growl was barely audible before it bared its teeth. A quick snap of jaws made its intention at violence clear. Sebastian whose mouth hadn’t moved far from my face even as I turned said, “When I say run, run.”
I nodded. I was not a wilderness girl, so I took his word for it. Something in the back of my head said that running was a bad idea. Predators smelled fear and running would send them on a hunt for you, but I didn’t argue. He must have had a plan. So when he took a step back from me saying run at the same time, I did.
I wasn’t a track star. But running was a big part of softball, especially for stealing a base or sliding home. My heart thudded as I ran without care of stray branches and other hidden obstacles in my path. I stayed as best I could on the slightly worn path hoping I would run into the lake house without getting myself lost.
I heard the unmistakable sound of breathing that wasn’t mine. Slowing didn’t seem to be the best option. So I turned my head slightly to the left. Far off in that direction I saw another figure running to possibly catch up with me and I swore. The figure was dressed in all black and looked to be human. Based on the color of its clothes, I knew it wasn’t Sebastian. He’d been wearing black jeans, but his shirt color was a royal blue that even in the dark matched his eyes. I stifled a scream but kept running. My only hope was to out run whoever it was. My lungs burned as I drank in brisk cold air.
I nearly choked on a harsh intake of breath, when Sebastian materialized in front of me. He hadn’t been there but now he was standing in front of me. I couldn’t stop my forward progress in time not to ram into him. His arms wrapped around me and we fell backwards. I waited to hit the ground but we didn’t. An empty void surrounded me for about minute before we landed on my bed him on top of me.
It was surreally disconcerting to fall down Alice’s rabbit hole. If I’d been human I might have asked what the hell happened. Instead, I scrambled away trying to understand it on my own. My ears popped. So, I reached my hands to cover them with my head darting about. My scrambling paid off when my feet hit the ground beside my bed. I lifted myself up and away from him. Something flashed in his eyes. They shined in the darkness. He almost looked hurt by my fear. That expression was gone before I could explore it further. What was left was emptiness. I opened my mouth to speak. “You, we just dissipated and reappeared,” I stumbled the words out.
His voice filled the space of my room. “I’ll have to explain later,” he said and vanished into thin air.
Ok, I admit I was totally weirded out. But in conclusion, I had my answer. Sebastian wasn’t human. I was starting to believe any gorgeous guy to real to be true wasn’t human. Maybe that’s what was behind the ‘too good to be true’ phrase. Flynn was gorgeous. He wasn’t human. The only other guy at my school with that inhuman beauty was Jay. I would have to study him once I got to school next week to test this theory.
Don’t get me wrong, Luke and even Paul were hot in their own way but not over the top the way Flynn, Sebastian and Jay were. Still sitting on the floor I felt like the demon whore I was even though I was still a virgin. I had inadvertently licked my lips while thinking of the hot guys I knew. The word in my brain was yummy. I pounded a fist on the floor.
What I should be thinking about is the possible attack by a shifter on me. I wasn’t that sure though that it wasn’t a real wolf. I hadn’t done anything to warrant an attack from the werewolves.
What about the human for lack of any other description who appeared to be chasing me? I scolded the fearful succubus who cowered at the sight of danger. What good was it to be supernatural if I wasn’t able to protect myself?
I curled in a ball on the floor unable to move. My life was spiraling out of control. I needed a friend. I couldn’t call Maggie because once I censored all the unnatural events; there wouldn’t be much of a story. Paul had been avoiding me, so I couldn’t call him. My mom wouldn’t even help me protect the world from myself except to say stay away from boys. That was an impossibility at this point. I wasn’t going to give Luke up.
My mind went numb. I tried to find a rational place inside my head. Not sure how long I lay there, I allowed myself to be folded into Flynn’s arms when the door opened. He pulled me close while we sat on the floor. I was nearly in his lap. He rocked me while silent tears fell on my pity party. Maybe I shouldn’t have let him hold me with my lack of willpower should the succubus rise, but I need it. For now, he didn’t even ask what was wrong. In many ways I was grateful for that.
Chapter Nineteen
contentious (adj.) having a tendency to quarrel or dispute
The mood in the kitchen was quite frigid. My mother presence was like an icy breeze. She wasn’t happy with me still. My flippant remarks that first evening still stuck in her craw. I sat on the bar stool while she toasted bagels and scrambled eggs. Breakfast was one of her best areas of culinary talents. Apparently she was showing off to her future husband that she could find her way around the kitchen. But David and Flynn hadn’t yet made an appearance.
“So tell me about your boyfriend,” my mom said. I wondered how long she’d been stewing on that bit of information Flynn had let leak. I saw the pulse in her neck throb and her muscles tense. Her anger was brewing like the coffee in the kettle to a bitter crescendo. I could envision the steam that would soon puff out her ears. I knew it was coming but decided to face it head on.
“He’s really nice,” I said, picking up a toasted bagel from the serving plate she had perched on the counter in front of me. After slathering cream cheese from the tub across it, I bit into it before she could ask me any other questions. She looked at me like I was being rude or something but I didn’t know wha
t she expected me to say.
“Cute,” she said. Frown marked crossed her brows with obvious tension. “I thought we talked about this,” she said, giving me the mom look that used to frighten me into submission as a child. It did nothing now.
“We did, but you left a lot out. Seems Flynn’s done fine with the knowledge of what he is,” I said. I watched her looking for a sign that she felt bad for withholding information, but I found none. Her face still held a grimace. In an act of defiance, I mimicked her expression.
“It was different for him, Mercy. He needed to know and you didn’t,” she said. That only fueled my fire.
“So I should live a sheltered life forever for you,” I said, maybe a little glibly.
“You have no idea,” she said. Her tone was sharp like ice daggers directed at me. She spoke around clinched teeth.
I stood up from the stool feeling overly disgruntled. “You’re right. I have no idea. Instead of wasting time being contentious with you, I’m taking matters in my own hands. A few untested experiments should help me to figure things out on my own. Who knows maybe I won’t kill anyone in the process,” I yelled, tossing my hands in the air. I looked up on my way out of the house. I needed fresh air. My gaze crested Flynn’s bare chest when he opened his bedroom door. I didn’t need to see his brow furrowed to know he wondered what was going on.
I proceeded to open and slam the front door with perfect satisfaction. Ostensibly, I was getting real good at closing doors. I couldn’t understand her. Never questioning her authority in all these years had made her complacent. This week, I realized our relationship was based on her omission of the truth. So much she’s hidden from me, I didn’t think I could even trust her. It was like she was a stranger. Our relationship was now nothing more than contentious.
Marching down the cobble path, I headed directly for the woods. After last night, you’d think I steer clear especially alone. But I didn’t want to be found. I didn’t want her to come after me. Reality was that it would most likely David not my mother who’d come after me. He would reason with me and I’d find myself apologizing.
Stomping up the hill off the path without any care to where I was going was my declaration at just how mad I was. I didn’t think about getting lost. I just wanted to get away. Stopping, I turned in circles after an indiscriminate amount of time. Damn, I was truly and utterly lost. I reached for my phone realizing too late I didn’t have it.
Plopping down in the on the harden earth I sat where I was glad there was still a lot of light. I felt the hot stream of silent tears stroll down my cheeks warming them from the frigid air. I let out the hurt feelings I had for my mom. Why couldn’t she be there for me like she’d been what seemed like so long ago.
Taking several deep breaths pushing the tears back, I decided I would head back down the same way I came. At the very least I should reach the lake at some point. From there, I should be able to find my way back. In the meantime, I let the tears that still swelled in my eyes fall. I was long overdue for a true cry over my life.
Was it unreasonable for me to want a life? Is it so farfetched to assume my mom would have my best interest at heart? She didn’t even tell me about David until he’d basically asked her to marry him. She could have mentioned somewhere along the way she was dating. She didn’t have to tell me who. If she wanted to keep secrets, so would I.
“Mercy,” I heard my name being called from below. I recognized the voice. It wasn’t David. It was his son.
“Flynn,” I said just above normal volume. I wasn’t sure if anyone else was looking for me too.
I had my head in my hands pressed against my knees. My legs were tucked to my chest. Again I pushed the tears back. I wouldn’t cry in front of Flynn. Sensations like lift off passed across my shoulders as Flynn put his arm around me. For the second time in less than a day, he was comforting me. This time he didn’t give me respite.
“You can get through this,” he said. His tone was light and caring. But instead I turned my anger on him. He couldn’t understand what I was going through.
I shrugged him off and stood moving far away from him. He now wore a shirt with a graphic I didn’t get. At least he wore a shirt. No telling where this conversation would have gone if he hadn’t been. “Easy for you to say, the playboy who sleeps with two girls at once with a girlfriend at home, while I can’t kiss a guy without killing him.”
I moved again so I wasn’t facing him. Out of frustration, I dug my fingers through my hair stopping with my palms on my forehead.
“You don’t know why or what I did,” he said whirling on me. He tone wasn’t pleasant. I had to wonder why he had the audacity to get angry at me. “It’s easy for you to accuse. The girl who doesn’t need to take life from someone else to survive,” he said angrily getting on his feet dusting off his jeans.
“That’s right, I don’t need it to survive, yet I’m the dangerous one that can’t be told how to protect my boyfriend from me,” I said shouting back at him while pointing my finger.
He of course pointed back. “This from a girl who doesn’t know how good she has it.”
We weren’t listening to each other I would realize when I had a chance to replay this conversation. Instead, I stepped towards him in the heat of the moment. “Oh, poor me from the guy who has a girl go deep sea diving in the hot tub.”
He moved in closer. “You sound jealous,” he said with folded hands not three feet away from me.
“I am but not the reasons you think,” I said. “I want to kiss my boyfriend and not be afraid he’s going to die. Something you’ve obviously mastered.”
“So you want me to teach you,” he said voice still raised hands now at his sides in fist.
I dropped my hands into fist and yelled a firm, “Yes,” in a hiss.
Too quickly before I could blink he was in front of me. His hands fisted in my hair while he leaned towards me. Foolishly, I closed my eyes in anticipation of his kiss.
His voice was still a growl of anger barely comprehendible. “Step One,” he said with his breath caressing my skin. “Take control from the start.”
Stupidly I lost control from his body so near. His flaming temper poured off him warming me. In the lingering moments, I played back his words trying to get a hold of myself. At first I wasn’t sure what he meant but as he held there that familiar part of me began to grow and want maybe even need.
“I feel it,” I whispered. I guess I still had control of my words. My voice was raspy from yelling taking in large gulps of cold air that still burned my lungs.
“Good,” he said. His voice was calmer but a hint of frustration still lingered. “Control it,” he said.
“How?” I asked weakly feeling myself loosing it.
“Stop me,” he said coming closer. My eyes flew open. I didn’t think there was a closer without his mouth on mine, but apparently there was. Degrees of space and time seem too stagnant as he descended. Logically, I knew this was wrong but it was that other part that hungered for Flynn desperately. It was a feeling I was sure all those before me felt.
His lips met my flesh and it was my cheek not my lips. Somehow I’d managed to turn in the nick of time. I think it was the thought of his other conquest, rather than my determination.
“Good,” he repeated, this time murmuring it in my ear. The heat of his words against my ear and my neck made my knees buckle. He was quick, much quicker than a human should be. His arms snaked around my waist turning my knees turned to jelly.
He pressed me against a nearby tree and I had a moment to remember the last time I found myself in this position. Thinking about Sebastian wasn’t helping. I was starting to feel like a harlot. With that thought I stood straight own my own. My back dug against the bark of the tree. He didn’t give me any breathing room. He continued to temp me by his nearness. I fought against my demon.
He didn’t use his hands and I was grateful. I would like to think those advances would snap me into my true self but I wasn’t sure. “I
can’t Flynn. I can’t fight it anymore,” I said leaning into his chest.
His head rested on top of my head a moment while he spoke. “This is when it counts the most,” he said.
He leaned down again and I lost control. All my anger was released in the succubus’s desires. My hands flew into his hair and tugged. I pulled his face to mine. My mouth was pressed to his fighting to getting inside. He reached to pull my hands away even though he let me in. He tasted like toothpaste letting me know he hadn’t yet gotten breakfast before following me in the woods.
“Cozy,” a voice from behind us said.
Flynn whorled, dropping my hands. I still hadn’t gotten control. “I thought he was your brother,” Sebastian said.
Flynn face was a mask of rage. When I heard it speak from my mouth for the first time I was stunned. “You,” the succubus crooned.
My voice sounded more like a purr. I was outraged. It had never spoken through me before. I didn’t know it had a voice. Boy had I been wrong.
Sebastian looked pleased. “Kayla,” Sebastian murmured back.
His voice called to my beast and I moved forward. Thankfully Flynn held me back. His arms crossed my chest holding me protectively.
“Why are you here?” Flynn asked. He was drawing a figurative line in the sand.
“I think Kayla wants me here,” Sebastian answered smiling in my direction.
“Mercy isn’t herself,” Flynn said in a way that would suggest if he hadn’t still been holding me back he would have face off with him.
For me it was like looking through a port hole because I had no control of my body or my speech. The succubus need was powerful. At the moment it’s sight was set on Sebastian, but it also wanted Flynn. It would take whoever gave into it first.
Beg for Mercy - kindle edition v3 Page 18
