His hand came to my cheek spreading tingling sensations throughout my face. He pulled me closer than we already were a mere whisper away. “There’s something I should tell you,” he said quietly.
Flynn decided to enter my room at that second without even a knock. He looked down on us and rolled his eyes. “Mercy, you have company downstairs.”
I should have wondered who could possibly be waiting for me but there was something more important. “I’ll be down in a minute,” I said absently. “Luke’s about to tell me something.”
Flynn gave Luke a funny look I couldn’t interpret before turning back to me. “It’s Sebastian.”
Shit, I thought. I looked at Luke before getting to my feet. “I’m sorry. I’ll be right back.” I caught Flynn’s disapproving gaze as I passed him on the way out my door. When I got to the stairs I could hear he and Luke in a discussion about something. I couldn’t hear their words, so I changed my focus to the boy downstairs. I should have been grateful he hadn’t popped in my room. That had been a small blessing indeed.
Sebastian stood in our living room looking like the good-looking dark haired devil he was. His eyes were cast up to me as I descended the curved staircase. Had he knocked on the door? Did he speak with my mom or David on the way in? Questions filled my brain but they weren’t the important ones.
Stepping to meet him only a foot apart he said, “I’m glad you’re ok.” His accent was back to American now. I was really going to have to ask him why he hid that dazzling Scottish accent. However it made my resolve easier to pull off.
“Why are you here?” I said pointing my finger in his chest. My words were cold and could have formed crystals in the air. That didn’t last because the heat from his body began to melt that cold ice layer I’d formed.
“Look, I’m sorry for all this. I didn’t expect for her to show up here,” he said calmly.
“I don’t care about your girlfriend,” I said.
“She’s not my girlfriend anymore. We’d already broken up before,” he confessed.
“It doesn’t matter who she is, because I told you we are just friends,” I said back. Was that a pretty lie I was telling myself? The succubus wanted him sure, but did I?
He almost looked hurt by that statement. But with his eyes void of emotion, I couldn’t be sure. “So why are you mad?” he asked.
I couldn’t believe he didn’t see why I couldn’t be angry. “You cheated on your girlfriend with her sister and killed her.” I said with an exasperated expression on my face like Duh.
“I thought you didn’t care if I had a girlfriend?” he questioned.
I threw up my hands. Apparently, demons didn’t understand humanity at all. “Killing someone,” I said in a huff with wildly animated hands. Then I added, “Moral character Sebastian, if that’s your real name.”
“I’m a demon. I have none. And yes that’s my name,” he began to elucidate. “But to clarify, Dana the girl in question isn’t really Bernadette’s sister. Demon’s don’t procreate and the term sister is loosely used to reference they share the same sire.”
“It doesn’t matter. You killed her. How can I trust you?” I said.
“You can’t, but I will never harm you,” he said.
I looked at him. He seemed to gloss over the fact that he killed someone. I wasn’t sure what I’d hoped for but I didn’t get it. “You should go,” I said stabbing my finger in his chest. Touching him was so not helping me keep my succubus at bay.
He looked reluctant. “One more thing, did Bernadette leave on her own?”
I said nothing. It was then, I heard them approach. Luke and Flynn had come downstairs. Luke put his arms around me possessively. I knew it was a power play, but I didn’t care. I wanted Sebastian to understand and maybe my own internal demon needed to understand too.
“This is my boyfriend, Luke,” I said wrapping my arms around Luke’s.
Sebastian actually huff out a laugh. Not a loud boisterous one but a laugh none the less. I was confused by it. He seemed to recognize the look and stopped.
“Well, that explains everything, truly ironic,” he said. He was most certainly surprised, because his word held a hint of that accent. Not much but I caught it. Then he pointed to my pocket. I looked down and notice the slight budge indicating my phone was jammed into my jeans.
“You have my number if you need me.” He hadn’t given me his number. I was about to pull out my phone to see if he’d called me, but I thought better of it. With those final words he vanished leaving a thin gray smoke that quickly dissipated. That was a first. I hadn’t noticed the smoke before.
Luke’s arms dropped from my waist. I wasn’t sure yet what that meant.
Chapter Twenty Four
illicit (adj.) forbidden, not permitted
Morosely, I looked at each boy. Luke looked at me quizzically, most likely trying to gage my mood. Flynn looked back at me with a careless expression. I thought about my word of the day. The word was illicit. The words that showed up on daily on my phone through my word of the day application sometimes seemed more like horoscopes or maybe even prophecies.
“Bridgette is headed over. You guys up to hanging out?,” Flynn asked.
My answer was quick and snarky. “Quite frankly, I’ve had enough of girls with the names that begin with B,” I said and headed upstairs. “So you two have fun.” I could think of a five letter word that described the girls in question better than their names.
Making it to my room, I changed and got in bed thinking I was going to be alone. Part of me hoped that Luke would have come, but he didn’t. Was he upset about Sebastian? I didn’t know. Exhausted from head to toe, I closed my eyes praying sleep would come quickly.
Sometime during the night I heard my name being called. It sounded far off in the distance and up close at the same time. The dream I’d been having suddenly became vivid and alive. I was running from Bernadette’s fiery hands. I was running towards the voice that was calling me off in the distance. It felt like I knew the voice. The name that called me was Kayla. The voice was deep and different than Sebastian’s but no one else called me that but him. In the dream, the light came again dispelling the voice from the distance. I still couldn’t see what caused the light. But when a hand circled around me, I jumped up from sleep in my bed gasping for air. The glow of the television illuminated a figure on the bed with me.
“Are you alright?” a sleepy Luke asked me.
I swirled to look him in the eye. Of the many things I could have said with my heart still racing from the dream, I said, “My mom’s going to kill us both if she finds you here.” I hoped she would continue her avoidance of me. I wasn’t really in the mood to explain.
“So we won’t let her find me here,” he said sounding more awake.
A thought occurred to me. “I thought you went out with Flynn,” I asked.
“No,” he said sounding offended. “I wasn’t going to leave you alone. And no way I would let that Rat could come and pop you out of here,” he said.
So Flynn must have clued him into more details. “I’m glad you’re here,” I said truthfully, with a smile on my face. I laid back down to snuggle against him.
“I am too,” he said. “So where did he take you that time?”
I guessed wrong this time. I thought maybe that subject was closed.
“Egypt, France, and London,” I said on a yawn.
“You’re serious aren’t you?” he asked.
I nodded against his chest and said at the end of another yawn, “Yes.”
“Why did he take you there?” he asked.
It was a loaded question that I didn’t see coming until after I answered. “He knew I wanted to see those places.”
He went ridged with my answer. “He’s seems to know more about you than I do,” he said, sounding a bit pissed.
I turned to look at his face. “What do you mean?” I asked, but I was sure I knew the answer. I watched his eyes. The blue was like midnight in the harsh
glow of the television.
Surprisingly, his voice was suddenly calm and steady. This time there was no real accusation in his voice. “I mean he knows your middle name and the places you want to visit. I bet he knows you favorite color and food to eat.”
I kept my eyes steady on him. “He asked the right questions, but he isn’t the right person.” I laid my head back down on him to listen to his heart beating. He put his hand on my back and I understood then that he got my meaning.
“You’re right. I didn’t ask,” he said. Luke hadn’t asked me questions like that. However those topics aren’t necessarily conversation starters so I didn’t blame him either.
“Why’d you come?” I asked. “Not that I don’t want you here, but I thought you were going to hang close to your Mom.” I didn’t mention his Dad’s visit because that was I obvious.
“I couldn’t take the two of them anymore,” he said. I didn’t want to press him about it right now so I left it alone. “But more importantly, I needed to be with you, especially after our conversation last night.”
My heart fluttered. Pressing myself closer to him I said, “I’m you’re here. I missed being this close to you.”
He groaned then circling his arms tighter if it were possible. I laughed. I felt is eagerness to be closer still to me. To allay the mood, I asked, “What’s your favorite color?”
He laughed which is exactly what I wanted. He was here in my room and we were close. I didn’t want to spoil things. I simply wanted to enjoy being with him. “Right now, it is whatever color you’re wearing,” he said.
We talked for a long while getting to know each other’s insignificant data like favorite food, color, music, band, television show and the like. And things like where we like to shop and a few pet peeves. It was hard to get a favorite color out of him but eventually he said yellow just so I’d back off but then I pressed him for a reason for his choice. I looked at his shirt. He tried to dispel that he’d used his shirt color conveniently as his answer and told me it his reason was because it was the color of summer and sunshine. He turned the tables on me but I was ready for him.
“What’s your favorite color?” he asked.
“Blue, like the color of the sky on a summer day. Like the color of warm ocean that surround exotic tropical islands. But mostly it’s the same color of your eyes,” I said softly nearing taking mine off him.
He went quiet on the end of my words. I could see my reflection in him. I thought he might say the words. The words that held everything I found in his stare. But when he remained silent, I continued. “Sebastian doesn’t know of all my dream places to go. My most illicit dream is to be on a tropical island on a private beach bare to the sun with the person I love.”
He groaned again. “You’re killing me, Mercy. Can I take you to the Bahamas tomorrow?”
I laughed. “I’m serious,” he said.
“More than anything in the world,” I said. And that was the closest we got to the L word between us. We talked until sleep claimed us both. I couldn’t tell you who fell asleep first just that it felt amazing to be in his arms.
The next morning I woke alone and a little sad that Luke wasn’t there. After I got ready I headed downstairs to inventory the list of items I’d asked David to procure for me after he’d come to me begging I cook Thanksgiving Dinner the other night. I wasn’t surprised he was the one to ask since the things hadn’t gotten any better between my mom and me.
Lightly, I pranced down the stairs and to the kitchen in a really good mood but stopped short frozen upon seeing my mother in the kitchen. Her short blond hair was spikier than normal, so she probably just woken up and had come directly to the kitchen for coffee. She was behind the counter so I only saw the black tee she wore with a pink terry robe on top.
She halted, locked in my stare. She shifted in her stance and I heard slipper feet against the cool ceramic tile. For a long moment we didn’t say anything. I wanted to reach out to her and overcome the bitterness between us. Something in her eyes said she did as well, but her words were different.
“I thought we talked about this?” she asked, her words were like venom.
I was puzzled by her statement. I’d expected at least a good morning or hello. But her question hadn’t reached home. There were so many things we hadn’t talked about I did know what topic she could be referring to.
“About what?” I asked.
“About boys,” she said through clenched teeth.
Fine, if she wanted to have this conversation, I was ready. Things needed to be said. Questions she needed to answer. “You mean, Luke?” I asked.
In response, she nodded her face with relief as if I was getting a point she silently conveyed. I can’t say I was there yet, but I was on the fringe. I had deep emotions and needed to say something to my mother confessing my feelings to shock her in reality.
“I love him,” I said. It was a completely true statement, but after saying it out loud solidified it for me. I hadn’t thought about anyone else since he’d come. Thinking about him made me smile which was why there was a huge grin on my face at this very moment. The look of absolute horror was on my mom’s face.
“He’s not right for you,” she said in a shaky breath.
My mother’s fastidious beliefs for me were totally unfair. This made me angry, so my voice grew louder with each passing word, “How would you know?”
She looked shocked by my response and said with utter terror, “It’s forbidden.”
I wanted to yell back at her my feelings aren’t illicit, but instead I replied, “According to you, everything is.” It appears that I’d woken the house with my words. I heard movement.
“You don’t understand,” she began but her gaze move from my face to somewhere behind me.
I turned to find Flynn and Luke standing by the edge of the staircase. Most likely they’d come to see what the ruckus was all about, Flynn for the second morning in a row. Hearing my mom’s slippers in retreat, I understood when I turned back she’d be gone. I turned anyway and saw that David stood in the hall near the kitchen. Rotating back, I stormed upstairs past the two boys without a word. I didn’t slam my door this time although I wanted to. There was no point. I wasn’t mad at the people still left in the great room who would hear and feel my anger through a childish act.
My mood however did improve as the day progressed. After being calmed by my ever patient boyfriend, I’d been coaxed back downstairs to do one of my favorite things in the world. Flynn and Luke acted as my Sous-chefs while I prepared our Thanksgiving feast. It turned out really fun and we laughed almost coming to blows in a food fight. However, after washing, chopping, dicing, prepping, I think they both came away with a greater appreciation for the art of cooking.
While the turkey cooked in the oven for a couple of hours, Luke and I walked down to the pier for some alone time. We sat with our legs dangling dangerously close the ice cold water. I tried not to remember Flynn and Bridgette here in the water a few days ago or being here with Sebastian. I just wanted to enjoy this moment with Luke so we could have our own memories of this place.
We held hands and he didn’t press to kiss me even though I wanted him too. I had searched frantically for the lip balm this morning and couldn’t find it. I had to hope that I’d carelessly left it in the jeans pocket I’d been wearing the night before our trip and the balm would be somewhere in my laundry basket back home.
“What are you thinking about?” Luke asked.
I’d been thinking about the lip balm, so I blushed knowing I would never say that. Instead I said, “I just so glad you’re here.”
I met his cornflower blue eyed stare with a flutter in my stomach. I didn’t feel cold despite the fall air. When his face began to descend on mine I felt powerless to stop it. A war raged inside me for the mere moment it took for our lips to connect. I should have stopped him but I so wanted that connection.
With an explosion of monumental proportions, I felt lifted off the gr
ound soaring through the air with his kiss. It felt as though I had wings and wind breezed through my hair. Stars of golden light burst behind my closed eye lids as I was certain I’d gone to another universe. The electricity between us woke me to what a mistake I’d made. I pulled back and got to my feet. I looked at him only briefly to make sure he was ok before I made my escape. Tears were in my eyes when he called to me but I didn’t turn back.
In the safety of my room, I pressed my back against the door before I flung myself in the direction of my bed. I collapsed on the white down comforter of my bed in tears. I scolded myself for my mistake. I could have killed him and he would have let me. That would have to stop. Face down in the mattress I heard my door open but made no movement to see who it was. How had I succumbed to temptation? I couldn’t even blame it on the succubus. That had been all me. I had no one to blame but myself.
Feeling the bed dip, I turned my face to breath for the first time. “I’m sorry,” said Luke.
Maybe in my tear fits I misunderstood him. “Why are you sorry? It was my fault. I knew better.”
He brushed my hair damp with tears from my face. “I don’t want to make you cry.”
“I could have killed you,” I proclaimed.
“You didn’t. Nothing happened,” he said.
Nothing happened, I thought. For me the earth moved. Firework exploded in my vision. But then I was succubus and he wasn’t. Maybe this was how it was for me when I took the life force from another person. But I didn’t quite remember this happening with Paul. I was so native then, maybe that had something to do with it.
“Maybe not for you, but for me it was electric,” I said turning my face back to the bed not wanting to see his expression for my sappy description.
“Oh, it was electric for me too. But I meant that nothing happened that would end my life,” he said matter-of-factly.
I sat up now wanting to get a good look at him. “Why did nothing happen?” I asked as if he would have answers. The more he said nothing I thought I saw answers hidden behind his eyes.
Beg for Mercy - kindle edition v3 Page 22
