I lay on my bed and thought about all the things I resolved today with direct communication. There was something to be said for that. There was just one more person I had something I needed to resolve issues with. So I plotted and made calls and found myself instead of Flynn’s front door in front of the restaurant Paul worked at where my mother dropped me off at my request. Suitcase in hand I waited in the chilly air next to Paul’s car. The timing was perfect and I knew he would walk out that door soon.
When he did, dressed in a brown Yogi bear vintage screen tee and jeans with spiky black hair as if he’d ruffled it moments before, I remembered all the reason why I loved him.
Chapter Thirty One
emollient (adj.) soothing
His expression was one of dismay but only after a few seconds he walked forward and stood in front of me. I was leaning against the driver’s side door of his car with suitcase handle in my hand. He took in my band shirt that boasted Paramore from a recent concert he, Maggie and I had gone to long before this mess had started.
“Are you running away?” Paul said. His expression now was neutral.
“We’re going to talk and I need a ride?” I said.
He looked away then back at me. I was still standing there and he almost seemed surprised as if he expected me to have disappeared. “Get in,” he said resolved he had no choice.
I began to roll my overnight bag around with me when he took my hand. I looked up at him and he at me. It had been the most physical contact we had in a while. It shouldn’t have been as awkward as it felt.
“I’ll take that,” he said and I let go feeling silly because we were friends. Why couldn’t we touch without it being weird? I walked around the car trying to shrug it off.
He put my bag in the trunk while I got into his car. Moments later he was in the driver’s seat. He didn’t put the key in the ignition though. I knew then that the time for our talk had come.
“Merce,” he said. His voice was emollient.
I looked up to meet his gaze and took control. I had rehearsed this in my head all afternoon and I wouldn’t let him steal my thunder.
“Hear me out,” I said. “You had your turn and now it’s mine.”
He closed his eyes then nodded and watched me. The stage was set and I was almost afraid. Paul was so special to me and I wasn’t sure how he would take what I had to say.
“I love you and you know that,” I said. His look changed from resignation to confusion. But I didn’t let that deter me. “I think, no, I know you care but you think you want me because I have moved on from being the sad puppy dog pinning away after you.”
He opened his mouth to speak. I silenced him with my finger and with the whoosh of air from my lungs. “Shh,” I said.
I continued before he could interject. “You need to let me go. Luke is good for me and he accepts me for what I am,” I said.
“He knows?” he was able to ask and was clearly surprised.
I nodded, “Amber is a cute and sweet girl and human too. She is everything you need and as your best friend everything I could wish for you.”
“But,” he said.
“But the truth is you don’t want me. If you had, you wouldn’t have waited until someone else wanted me to make your move,” I said. He didn’t answer, so I was sure he was in silent agreement. “The truth is although you accept me as a friend, being with me was never really an option for you.”
He looked away. So I continued. “Let me go Paul and let us be friends. I hate that I can’t talk to you anymore. So be happy for me and go back to your girlfriend,” I pleaded. From a distance I could hear the whininess of my voice.
He leaned back in his seat and I’d finished my preplanned speech. For the most part it had gone as I had practiced it in my head. I thought back though making sure I’d hadn’t missed any points but he wasn’t arguing with me so I too leaned back in my seat as the car fell into silence.
I closed my eyes a second when the engine roared to life. “Where am I taking you?” he said.
I opened my eyes only to close them again. Although everything had gone according to plan a small part of me had wanted him to profess his undying love for me. But he hadn’t. He hadn’t really made any hard arguments against anything I said nor really fought to speak.
But in the end, I think I’d gotten what I wanted so I said, “To Flynn’s.”
He looked at me quizzically but said nothing and turned to maneuver the car out of the parking lot.
We started down the street when I changed my mind. “You know what, just take me home,” I said. I wasn’t ready to give up my solitude. I had batted for three tonight and got all home runs. But this last one here with Paul didn’t feel like a victory.
It wasn’t long before he pulled into my driveway. I didn’t know what I expected. In my room, I thought about our strange conversation a return of sorts to normality. I’d filled him in on Brent and Maggie and he’d given the occasional noise that let me know he was listening but he didn’t contribute much to the conversation. He’d simply dropped me off and waited until I’d gotten in the house to leave. One could hope that he wouldn’t ignore me tomorrow at school.
Under my covers I remembered Luke asking me not to be alone. It was too late now though. I was somewhat happy he hadn’t called. So I didn’t have to explain my transgression. We needed to talk about everything that happened. It was possible these events were tied to the missing girls. My mom had clued in on that. But instead, under my covers I dug in to the familiarity of the comforts of home. I’d slept in different beds this past week and really just needed to be home. I felt safe and slept here alone often enough. Luke’s arms around me were something I did miss.
It took a while but I didn’t finally sleep. I made promises to myself that despite the creepy serial killer, my life would return to normal. I was going to be happy. I’d already planned what I would wear to school which included Luke’s letterman jacket.
The mist appeared again. I’d journeyed alone this time to Luke’s house on top of the mountain before the voice and my name crashed in like thunder. I obeyed the call. I was headed to the voice again. The pull was strong and it had only taken that one time for me to heed it. I could see his house. It was only a few more steps.
The blast of cold air hit me once I opened the front door. Awake now, I was more shocked by my not remembering walking to my own front door than to the boy who stood on the other side of it.
“Luke,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same,” he said. “You were supposed to be at Flynn’s. When he called wondering if you were with me, I came over here.”
Don’t get me wrong I was happy to see him but I was still puzzled by my apparent sleep walking. “I just wanted to sleep in my own bed tonight,” I said absently trying to figure out what just happened. Had the thunderous voice I’d heard been Luke’s frantic knocking on my door. But thinking back, the voice had been using my middle name and nickname like before.
“I was knocking a while and almost gave up. You didn’t answer your phone either. Can I come in?” he asked. I stepped away from the door letting him in. Once he closed the door behind himself, I headed upstairs.
He followed me in my room while I searched for my phone. I found it in my jeans only to realize it had no charge. I couldn’t remember when the last time I’d charged it. I dug out the charger from my bag and plugged it in. Once I was finished with that task, I looked at him. He had stood in my room watching me when I realized he’d never been upstairs in my room.
“I should go, but I don’t want to leave you here alone. I can take you to Flynn’s,” he said.
My mom was working the third shift and wouldn’t make it home before school started.
The clock time read one in the morning. I shook my head. Instead, I slid in my bed feeling drossy with sleep. “It’s late, only a few hours before school. I’ll be fine.” I said with a yawn.
“I guess I could stay down
stairs, because I’m not leaving you alone. Will your mom freak out if she finds me here?” he asked.
I wanted to ask him how his mother felt about him being out the house this late but I was really tired. It felt as though I hadn’t slept at all. “She won’t be home before we leave for school,” I said.
He went to turn for the door when I said, “Luke, I’m glad you’re here.”
He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and moved to the door.
“Luke,” I said stopping him in his tracks before he made his way out.
“Yes,” he said softly.
“Don’t be silly, you can sleep in here with me,” I said. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure it was the best idea, but I knew with his arms around me he could chase my bad dreams away.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” he said.
“It may be the last time in a long time I’ll be able to wake in your arms. Please,” I begged.
I saw the resolve in his face when he gave into my request. He took off his jacket and draped it over his letterman jacket on my chair. Fully dressed he came under my covers and folded me in his arms. Chilly from the night air, my skin erupted in goose bumps from his embrace but I didn’t let it bother me.
Closing my eyes and on a yawn, I said, “You know I was dreaming and the emollient voice was calling me.”
“Sleep Mercy, will talk about it in the morning,” he said yawning too.
But it seemed so important he should know. The dream however began to fade in my head to the point I found myself vaguely I asked, “Does your mom know where you are? But if he answered I didn’t hear it.
Chapter Thirty Two
esoteric (adj.) understood by only a select few
School zoomed by that week I barely even remember what happened as it went by. Luke and I had made it through the night with no further incidents including nightmares or the succubus’s desires. With all his gallant talk, he’d come prepared to stay the night with me. But I knew he thought he’d be staying at Flynn’s. On the drive to school, I filled in on all my musing on what been happening to me. I glossed over the details with Brad giving him only highlights. There wasn’t need to piss him off when things were in my favor.
He’d called Flynn last night sometime after I fell asleep to tell him where he was. Needless to say, an unhappy Flynn had waited for us in the parking lot.
“Thanks to you too, I had to lie to my dad,” Flynn said. “Maggie’s not thrilled with you either since I woke her in the middle of the night to devise a plan.”
“Thanks, Flynn,” I said with a half hearted smile. I didn’t want to get either of them in trouble. “I’m thankful you have such an esoteric view of me,” I teased him with my word of the day.
He wasn’t having any of it. Luke laughed a bit until Flynn shot him a deadly look. “I’m not in the habit of lying to my father. And certainly not so the two of you could have a slumber party.”
Maggie walked over and I prepared myself to hear it from her too. Instead she winked at me and held Brent’s hand. I think they both thought that we were fooling around but I wasn’t going to get in to it with an audience.
I was right that Luke and I wouldn’t be able to share that experience anymore. Even though my mom and David had been clueless about my security in Luke’s arms, I’d been told under no uncertain terms; that because of the nature of the killings of young woman I was to sleep at David’s from now on until things resolved.
Upon our arrival back from the Thanksgiving break, Flynn’s car was out of the shop. Talking about spoiled, Flynn didn’t drive the car that had been fixed. Rather, David traded it in for the latest model. I hadn’t notice until he pointed out. He was the proud owner of a magnetic black 370Z. I had to admit it was a flashy car. It wasn’t the luxury car that Luke drove, but it was the kind of fast car that girls swoon over.
To top things off, Flynn became my designated chaffer driving me to and fro school. Riding with him was a holy difference experience than driving with Maggie. She and I had a rhythm only gained by riding with her exclusively for the past two years. We usually had cheerful conversation over latte’s she’d pick up on the ride to school. Flynn on the other hand was not a happy camper in the morning and usually played hard rock with shrilling guitar solos that could wake the dead. Apparently, that’s what he needed to start his day. I, on the other hand, liked the volume of the music low and friendly conversation to start the day. It would take a lot of getting used to. Part of me wanted to ask Maggie to pick me up anyway, but it seemed selfish to have her drive by school in order to get me. So I put up with Flynn’s morning moodiness for now hoping against hope we would move back home before the wedding. But even I saw the writing on the wall.
In the grand home the McCallisters resided in, I had been given a room on the other side of the house opposite Flynn with our parents’ room between ours. I guess I deserve that because I had kind of led my mother to believe that there might be something going on with Flynn and I to some extent.
When Friday night came, Flynn, Luke and I huddled in the den to watch movies. No parties were happening at least none of the seniors were having one until Brent got back. One of the other football players was planning to hold a welcome back party in Brent’s honor he came back. The guy’s parents were going out of town next which meant he’d been chosen the designated party thrower. Maggie was handling the other details like a super supportive girlfriend. She hadn’t asked my help and I was grateful. I knew next to nothing about throwing a party.
Maggie had been upbeat all week and didn’t seem worried a bit that Brent wouldn’t make a full recovery and be able live to play football another day. Paul and Amber seemed to be back together. She was happy again and they sat at our lunch table all week. That made me happy. It was contagious. It felt good not to be the object of someone else’s despair. The morning I woke with Luke, I’d frantically searched my room and had found the balm which I continued to use religiously.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go out to the movies,” Luke asked. I think he wanted to be alone with me free of Flynn’s prying eyes. Flynn out of all of us had been in a foul mood. He and Amanda hadn’t gotten back together. She and Nina had forged a tighter friendship despite the fact they’d fought at a party only two weeks ago.
I felt sorry for Flynn, I wasn’t sure why. He’d been there for me so I would do the same for him. When his cell phone rang, his face changed from grim to grin. I strained to listen into the conversation and only heard his side. That left me with a few affirmative noises and grunts before he told us he was headed out. My mom and David were also absent. They were working on the serial killer problem in the evenings when they both were not working. We’d filled them in on the strange voice that plagued me. They were working their supernatural contacts and following leads like super sleuths. We weren’t allowed in on the fact gathering even though we’d all protested. Instead they’d asked Flynn or Luke to be my bodyguard because everyone assumed that I was somehow involved as a potential victim. It had taken all my mother’s pride to ask Luke for help but after she’d eaten humble pie, I’d let him accept. Maybe I should be afraid for my life, but honestly the voice didn’t seem intent on hurting me.
Luke and I were alone all too quickly. It felt like something in the air change. The balm had calmed the succubus’s advances when we kissed. I wasn’t sure I liked kissing him with it on. It was somehow wrong. I didn’t see the moon and star firework display any longer when our mouths met. But the balm wasn’t a cure all. It didn’t stop the human side of me craving his touch.
“We should go out and see a movie,” I said jumping off the couch.
He smiled at me. “You feel it too,” he said.
I nodded in agreement. He stood to his full height of six feet and I felt like a dwarf at my height. I looked up at him and he took me in his arms nuzzling my neck. “Are you afraid of me?” he asked wickedly.
Nodding again, I found my voice. “I’m more afraid of myself
,” I said.
Our kissing was more natural without hesitation these days. Putting on the balm that was a barrier of protection was automatic. But when his mouth met mine the planets aligned. I realized I didn’t have it on. It was awake before I could stop her. My eyes went dark I was sure. My own tunnel vision opened like I was watching a movie. Her eyes locked on his and before I knew we were laying on the couch. Our kissing had become frantic with hands, hair and my touch tugging on his shirt. It wasn’t long after that his shirt was off and so was mine and nothing stood between our upper bodies except my bra. His hands were frenzied behind my back searching for the clasp when fate walked in.
“I wondered if you guys wanted to come along with,” Flynn said stopping in his tracks. Luke who was raised slightly over me shifted and lay on me possessively shielding my bare skin from Flynn.
I didn’t yet have control and I watched Flynn’s eyes change as well. So he hadn’t left. But I was sure I heard the front door open, but obviously he’d come back.
“Are the two of you crazy?” Flynn yelled. He moved forward and Luke shifted again given me room to roll over to my back. Once turned, my bra gave a little and I realized Luke had indeed successfully unclasped it.
Luke stood when Flynn back out of the room. With all the testosterone gone, the succubus relinquished control back to me. I tugged my shirt on not bothering with the bra. I even pulled Luke’s shirt on top because my shirt was a tight fit. I opened the door to the den and bolted past both boys and headed to my room.
Again I thought back to my mother. Why hadn’t I listened? Over and over I kept losing control. Being in a relationship was too dangerous. Luke and I couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves half the time. I couldn’t blame that on the succubus. I imagine that a lot of my peers’ relationships were the same. The only difference was me doing these things could have dire consequences.
Beg for Mercy - kindle edition v3 Page 30
