by K A Sands
I tittered at him and peered into the dubious looking contents of the pots. “Okay.”
* * *
Not so much as two words had left my mouth to Lucca since he’d saved my life. It suddenly struck me as incredibly rude, and rude I wasn’t. I swear, the moment I’d heard his gruff cough that night, he’d quieted me. The nightmare stopped, the spinning ceased, the screams silenced. Yet, I’d shut him out since. Today, I ended it.
“Hey.” The room door opened, and Lucca cautiously stepped inside. “You’re up?”
“Yeah.”
Talking still hurt, my voice still husky, from screaming or being crushed I wasn’t sure. There was no permanent damage thankfully, my discoloured face still looked awful, if not worse, now the bruising had come out. The swelling was taking it’s time to go down. My vision still blurred on occasion in one eye, again - no permanent damage. Surface wounds really, they’d be gone in no time. No mistaking I was a mess and I was nervous at Lucca seeing me this way. There’s no telling what his reaction would be.
Lucca shifted to the bed with unsure steps, his eyes taking in every inch of me. “May I?”
He pointed to the side of me and I hated he felt the need to ask to come closer. I tried to smile, a wan thinning of lips, shaky at best, all I could manage was a pathetic ‘sure.’
Emotions quickly overcame, and I sought to cry. Gone was the determination to be strong for him, show him I still had some conviction about me, strength in the decisions I’d made. Somehow, seeing him had reduced me to tears. Crumbling into him and staying there for days on end seemed like such a great idea. Nothing could hurt me in those strong arms of his.
I reached for his hand when he settled on the bed as close as he could get, he leaned over and brushed a tentative kiss across my cracked lips as he wound his fingers with mine.
“You ate today?” I eyed the half-finished pots of food and grimaced. “Good, you need some food in you.” His eyes darted to my neck when he smoothed his other hand across my head.
I hadn’t exactly showered, I looked disgusting, most likely smelled worse, which wasn’t anywhere near being pretty. I remembered the nurse, Vicki, attempting to wash my hair in the bed. The process had been awkward at best and not entirely successful.
“You take a shower yet?” The man was always on my wavelength. I attempted a grin and shook my head. “I’ll get the nurse.” He pushed on the buzzer that was draped over the headboard of the bed. “You need help?”
Yeah, I did. I hadn’t stood on my own two feet for more than a few minutes, it was time to get moving. I needed the sun to shine, like the song said. These would be my first steps in that direction.
“Would you help me?” I blushed with the question.
Surprise registered on Lucca’s face, yet he didn’t shy away. “Of course, let me ask the nurse. I want to make sure it’s okay.”
“Hey, Laura.”
Lucca got up when Vicki came into the room. Her smile was always kind, her face always gentle. She had a gleam in her eye, like she knew a secret and wasn’t going to tell you. I liked her, and was grateful she’d been around when she was.
“What do you need, sweetheart?”
My eyes darted to Lucca and I felt another tinge of embarrassment. “Could I take a shower? Lucca said he would help.”
Vicki grinned and side eyed Lucca. “That sounds like a great idea. I think we could maybe get rid of that catheter as well, huh?”
Her words were a relief. She threw the curtains closed as Lucca stepped to the corner of the room, out of sight. Vicki snapped on latex gloves and grabbed the catheter kit. Five minutes later she was gone, and I was sitting at the side of the bed, legs dangling. Lucca held his hand out to me. The man was an absolute keeper.
Getting to the en-suite bathroom was no problem, Lucca held firm at my initial wobble on unused legs, and we managed. Getting undressed was simple, too. Lucca’s gentle hands unwrapped the gown from my body, the whole while he watched my face, seeking signs I was comfortable with what he was doing. Getting into the shower cubicle was easy, Lucca stayed nearby at my request.
The hot water washed away what felt like years of grime and tears and I was pulled into a false sense of relaxation. The cascade of warm water on my head and the ensuing pink running down the drain catapulted me straight back to hell. Adam caught up with me, larger than life and with black vengeance. My vision spotted, and my breaths wouldn’t come as air squeezed from my lungs, gulps painful. I slumped to the bottom of the shower, sitting in pieces of Adam, barely registering Lucca climbing in with me.
I cried.
It wasn’t clear to me why the dam had breached, and the flood was so severe. I cried vigorously, my throat ached worse than it had before and my eyes stung. Lucca held tight and let me be. He didn’t talk, no words of comfort, a gentle pull and wide arms surrounded me while I fell apart in his lap. A towel had appeared around my shoulders, but the cold permeated my skin with fierce intent. And Lucca still let me be, let me wail, let me cry, all the while feeding my soul and giving his silent comfort.
Adam came at me clear, his lascivious leer eating into me. Squeezing my eyes tight, I let the memories consume me and take what they wanted. I let him break me one last time before I purged him from my mind. If getting over despair took falling apart on a hospital shower floor to get right on back up again, I’d take it. Broken pieces could be mended; sewn or glued. Those missing pieces could be filled with a different kind of adhesive - stronger - to make something new. I may have been falling apart but Lucca was my strength.
A long time passed before I found the will to breathe steady again. Every breath Lucca took, I mimicked. His steady heart thrummed through my body, giving me strength, one beat at a time. I imagined it was the tick tock of a clock, one that was beating the seconds of my life, reminding me there was always more. More love, more life...more time. That I could live those minutes again.
Lucca lifted me eventually, strong hands being gentle. Soft-hearted voices being quiet. I was tucked into a warm bed where silence was my friend. Tender arms wrapped around me from behind, quivered lips spoke against my neck. Words that made my heart soar, word’s I’d never forget. He promised his all to me, it would be the ninth and last promise I counted, for he had kept them all. I drifted off to sleep, his words like counting sheep over and over.
“I love you, Laura.”
Lucca
I brought Laura back to my house. The night before had broken me. Watching my Laura dissolve into a woman I’d barely recognised, brought it all home. I couldn’t lose this woman to her demons. As I’d climbed into bed behind her, I’d promised her the world, I’d promised her my heart, I’d promised her my love. I meant every word.
Those awful hours after the fire had been excruciating, not being able to see her. I had been adrift the days after. Like I’d lost a limb, no, lost all my limbs and that I was bobbing around in the choppy sea, unsure whether I would stay afloat or drown. I lay out my heart as she fell asleep and vowed I’d never let anything hurt her again. Laura was my life.
Ryder had brought in dry clothes whilst Laura had slept. Phil had lain down the law and promised to hunt me down and gut me seven ways to Sunday if I hurt his girl. He’d been accepting of her wishes and was relatively happy I was taking her home.
“She’s better with you, give her the future she deserves,” he’d said. I had the absolute intention of doing so.
Laura slept, I plotted. I hadn’t found peace in three days anyway, what was one more? Ayden had stayed home, didn’t want to go back to Brighton while Laura was in the hospital. My son had a soft spot a mile wide for her and wasn’t afraid to show it. He hadn’t expected Laura to be going anywhere other than our house, said he’d do anything he could to help. He’d made sure the guest room was clean and there were groceries in the house for when we got home.
Helping Laura to heal was going to be a daunting task, a long road lay ahead of us. I was no therapist, had my own trunk of baggage
and dirty laundry, but I was more than willing to try. The journey would be worth it, no matter the ups or downs. Laura held our future in the palm of her hands, each step would be one step closer. Her family and I would get her through this.
She stood in the kitchen and watched as I poured the boiling water into the coffee mugs. We’d been home only a few hours. I’d taken her up to the guest room and shown her around. Ayden had hovered for a while, easing up when Laura hugged him fiercely, clearly sensing his unease and need of assurance. It was a funny sight; this larger than life young man stood solemn, Laura’s head against his filled-out chest as he hugged her back. No words, just comfort. My son’s eyes swam with tears, I’d have thought of him no less a man if they had fallen, for I’d shed many of my own. We were all sore and raw, finding our feet.
I handed Laura her cup and we made our way to the den. I loved the room, Laura had confessed to liking the space too when we’d eaten here. I’d spent a lot of time in the recliner the past few days, staring out the window, questioning the cruelty of some, yet the love of others. It was a puzzle I feared I’d never understand.
Laura sat next to me on the comfy leather sofa, unlike the last time, there was more than a foot of space separating us. “The room okay?”
She took a sip of her coffee. “Yeah.” She scrunched her nose, a telling sign I’d come to recognise.
“What does it need, what are you missing?” I would give her anything.
“It’s fine, really.”
She looked past me, out the expansive windows. Although today had been frosty again, mother nature had afforded us a bright sun, low in the sky. It took the chill away somewhat. Seemed like the perfect day to bring Laura home.
“Laura, what’s missing? Tell me.”
She ducked her head in shyness. “I feel silly.”
Inching closer, I gently placed my hand on her knee. “Nothing is silly, not to me.”
She smiled demurely and lifted her head to look at me, the browns of her eyes full of a warmth I hadn’t seen for days. “It’s missing you,” she said simply.
I sucked in a breath, not being able to help myself. I didn’t know what she was saying. The guest room was to give her the space I figured she’d need, she’d want. So she could recoup, heal, not feel pressured to do anything she didn’t want to do. Her own sanctuary. Lying in the hospital bed with her had been a comfort I didn’t take for granted. A moment of weakness. I wasn’t kidding myself she’d want to share a bed with me after what had happened. Maybe it would be a long-term arrangement, I hoped not, but if it was what she needed, it was what she would have. The saying - getting over someone, you need to get under someone - didn’t apply here. We’d joked on that before; the circumstances now vastly different.
“I’m here, Laura. Always. I promised you and I meant it.” Again, with the shy tip of her head. I wanted to see her face. “Look at me. What are you saying here?”
She cleared her throat and observed me, as if summoning her courage to ask for what she wanted. She had to be sure, because if she came to my bed, she wasn’t leaving, not ever.
“You’re not there.”
“And?”
She huffed in frustration and I felt like a bastard making her spell it out to me, I had to be sure. She drew away from me and placed her cup on the glass coffee table in front of us. Pushing me back into the pliant leather she then climbed into my lap. Her arms reached around the back of my neck and she lay her head against my chest. I cradled her close.
“I need your strength, Lucca.” Her voice was muffled against the soft cotton of my top. “I need to lay in your arms. Fall asleep with you.”
Perhaps her courage faltered, or she noted the heavy thud of my heart beating, for she didn’t speak another word. I was content to sit there with my beautifully damaged woman in my arms, she was almost childlike, vulnerable, insecure in her needs. After years of being an annoyance to a woman who was meant to love me - it felt cathartic to be needed. Wanted. To show her the same would be a privilege.
* * *
Climbing into bed that first night, two weeks ago, was awkward at best, in all the ways it shouldn’t have been. Laura had been curled into a ball, at the edge of the mattress, with her back to me. Unsure of what to do, I climbed into bed behind her and laid on my back, urging sleep to find me. It had been fruitless. I spent the night tossing and turning; my t-shirt strangling my neck and my boxer briefs strangling my nuts. When I eventually fell asleep, dawn was creeping lazily through the curtains.
I’d woken up wrapped around Laura, my morning wood poking into her back. She had been holding my arms to her chest for dear life, not enough to stop me being mortified at my length enjoying Laura’s heat. I’d sprung from the bed and dashed to the en-suite to hide until my penis behaved itself.
Over the past two weeks however, things had become easier. Laura eventually climbed into bed at night wearing my t-shirts and without the thick armour of her leggings. My own top had disappeared after the first night, the boxers remaining firmly in place. Each night we crept ever closer until finally, the middle of the bed became my favourite place to be - where Laura was.
Laura relaxed, let me hold her, kiss her, skim my hands across her delicate skin. And when she touched me back, my whole body sang. Every night I’d gone to sleep with a painful hard on - more than worth it - we were making progress.
I didn’t jack off in the shower when I was alone, no matter how much my horny mind protested. I would wait. Wait until my woman was ready and came to me. Then I was going to show her that she meant the world to me and more. I’d wait an eternity hoping I didn’t have to. Laura was a beautiful woman, my body simply paid attention any time I saw or felt her skin. I reigned myself in and repeated our rewards would be worth it.
This morning we laid facing one another, taking our lazy time to get up for the day and it reminded me of the first night we’d spent together. My hand absently ran up and over her hip in a sweeping motion. Laura’s fingers lingered at the stubble on my jaw. I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch like it was my everything - maybe it was. I was no fool. I’d been starved of a woman’s affection most of my life, so to feel her hands on me anywhere, I was greedy and lapped it up. I basked in those touches she gave so freely, would never take them for granted.
“I need to deal with some things.” Her fingers scraped the short hair around the back of my neck as she spoke.
“Mmm...” I opened my eyes to look at her, tucking strands of messy morning hair behind her ears. Such a beautiful sight I’d never tire of seeing.
“The house...”
We hadn’t been over to there, unsure if it would set back the progress she’d been making with the therapist. I wasn’t all that keen to test the theory. Her house, the one she loved so much, was no longer a place she’d want to be. I knew that with certainty.
“Today?”
Snuggling closer, she sighed, tangling her smooth, bare legs with mine. “Yeah, I think it’s time. Will you take me?”
“We can do that.” I snuck a kiss into her hair and curled my fingers around her hip. “You’re sure?”
“I am.”
She tipped her head back and searched my face, sure to see the worry there. Her tongue darted over her lips and I stifled a groan. I could feel him downstairs waking up and I cursed myself for how little self-control I had. My dick had a mind of its own no matter how much I willed my erection to fuck off.
Laura kissed me. A light dusting of plump lips across my own, her mouth parting - an invitation for more. I obliged with no hardship, my tongue seeking hers as I poked into her mouth. She nipped at me as if greedy for more, I deepened the kiss, my arousal straining in the confines of my boxers. I was so lost in the act I almost jumped out of my skin when Laura’s fingers grazed below the waistband of my underwear and stroked along the slit of my cock. The traitorous bastard was hard as steel and begging, weeping for more.
“Take them off.” She whispered against my lips.
“Please.” She tugged at the material. “Let me do this for you.”
My head was telling me it was a flawed idea, my rigid length having none of it as my body arched into her playful fingers circling the base of my shaft. I rolled us on the bed, so I was on top of her, her hand caught between us and pressed into me. I put my weight on my elbows and looked down at Laura, who was smiling back.
“You don’t need to do this.”
I kissed her head as she squeezed me tight. The pressure felt fucking amazing, right. I searched her face for any indecision, finding not a flicker of doubt or worry. When her hands peeled my shorts down my legs, I didn’t protest, I relaxed and let her have her way. My cock thumped her belly between us and she giggled, dissolving the last bit of apprehension I had.
“Lie down.”
She pushed at me, nudging me off her and I rolled onto my back, watching as she tore my favourite t-shirt from her body, exposing beautiful, milky white breasts to me. My eyes feasted on her, eager to touch, re-acquaint myself with her body. Laura straddled me across the tops of my thighs and grabbed my hands, pulling them to her breasts. Peaked nipples pleaded for attention and my hands obeyed, pushing into the soft flesh. More than a handful was a waste, wasn’t that what people said? Laura’s were just right, stiff nipples poked through my knuckles as I lavished her with devotion. Closing her eyes, she leaned forward into my touch. Her covered pussy brushed against my balls causing a fierce zing to rocket up my spine, my skin to pebble with sensation.
I wanted this woman so fucking bad and I was going to hell for thinking it so soon. I should stop this, give it time but as Laura slid back and forth over me in slow cautious movements, hell looked rather fantastic and felt divine. Her melodious moans of contentment stirred me up, I couldn’t bring myself to stop.
