Stoshua was right. Him being a part of my life would be my first choice, but I didn’t know if I could trust him. “You’ll make love to me, right here in this van, in front of my sister?”
“What? No! Absolutely not!” Willow announced furiously.
“Yes,” Stoshua corrected. “I’ll do it. I’ll do it if you promise to let Willow go. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“How noble,” I added sarcasm to my voice. Even when breaking her heart he was still looking out for her best interest. It made me want to hurl. I wondered if he’d ever be able to put this past him enough to love me that way? Would he love me at all? Did he have residual feelings pent up for me inside him? Could this work?
“Ivy, I’m serious. Untie my hands and let me prove it to you.” While Stoshua pleaded for freedom, my sister sank down and started bawling. Either ending was torture. She’d suffer greatly if I let her live, knowing I’d taken everything away from her. If I sank the van with her in it, she’d die quickly, her last thoughts of her family. Either way was a win-win for me. I wanted her to suffer to the extent of wishing she was dead anyway. She deserved nothing, especially sympathy.
“I’m not going to untie your hands. You’ll have to prove it to me while still being tied up. It’s not like we haven’t had fun before in this same position. Do you remember the time we saw that one movie, and you couldn’t make it home before attacking me? We fucked in the back of your car and I used my hairband to tie your arms behind your back. The windows fogged up, and you came twice before you’d let me off you.”
He cleared his throat. “I remember. I’ve never had a night like that again. We were so hot for each other. I remember you wore that red dress, it was cut low in the front and you let me cop a feel in the theater. I fingered you with people sitting beside us, unknowing what was even going on. You had me so worked up I couldn’t make it home. I had to have you. I remember it like it was yesterday. Let Willow go, and I’ll prove it to you.”
“No. You’ll prove it to me first, with her as our audience. I want her to see how I can still turn you on. I want her to see the way I make you come.”
Willow turned her head in disgust. I cackled and climbed in the backseat, straddling over Stoshua, with her next to us, still tied up. “Is this how you want me, baby?” I asked.
His hands were still tied behind his back. “Don’t you want to feel me touching you?”
I did, but not while I was trying to figure out whether he was bluffing. “Not yet. Let me do all the work this time.”
“Stosh, please,” Willow begged. “Don’t do this. She’s not going to believe you. She’s only doing it to hurt me more. You’re wasting your time, and killing me in the process.”
“It has to be this way, Will. Ivy’s right. She deserves to be happy. We did this to her. Let me fix it. I’ll take care of our babies. I’ll make sure they want for nothing. I won’t let anyone hurt them. We talked about this, remember? We said if this ever happened again we’d make these kind of sacrifices for our children. I don’t want to hurt you, but if we don’t step outside of the box, we’re both goners. I can’t live with that. I can’t die knowing one of us wasn’t there for our kids. This is our only option.”
“Please, I’m telling you not to do this. For me. Don’t be with her. Don’t stoop to her sick level. She’s not going to let me go, babe.”
He shook his head and looked at me, ignoring his wife. “You’re going to have to do the work, since I don’t have hands. I suggest you tape her mouth back shut, or else I’ll have a hard time staying focused. Maybe we could hop in the front, so she’s not staring us down.”
“No,” I insisted. “I want her to see everything.” I located the tape from the center console and did as Stoshua requested, placing a large piece over my sister’s mouth so we couldn’t hear her trying to talk him out of it. She swung her head trying to avoid it from being done. “No! Please, Stosh. I’ll never forgive you for this. You’re ruining our lives. I didn’t agree to this.”
“Too late.” I noted after the tape sealed around her pouty lips. “Now, where were we?” I paused and climbed back on top of Stoshua, unzipping his trousers as I did so. “Oh yeah. You were about to prove your devotion to our future.”
I placed my hand down his pants and went through the hole in his boxers. His limp penis gave me the impression he wasn’t in the game, but to give him the benefit of the doubt, I started playing with it, then leaned in for a kiss.
For just a second he seemed to withdraw, but just as I backed up and prepared to tell him his life was going to end, he surprised me. He let his tongue flick over my lip, persuading me to try again. Our first kiss was deep, and every part of me responded. I lifted my shirt, revealing only a small bra. Stoshua always liked playing around with my small breasts, so I brought them up to his mouth. He bit down on the fabric, pulling it to the side.
My sister was sobbing, making it difficult for either of us to ignore her. I grimaced and looked in her direction, while her precious husband gave himself to me. “You’ve been replaced so easily. Maybe it’s because he was always mine to begin with. I took his virginity, and that’s something you’ll never be able to get back.”
“Shh,” Stoshua suggested. “Ignore her. Let’s get back to what we were doing.”
I stood up, lowering my pants and underwear at the same time, then climbed back on top of my ex-husband. It was slow, but he was finally becoming erect. I rocked my naked pussy over his lap, leaning back as if he was bringing me ecstasy. “That’s it. Just like old times. Fuck me, Stosh. Let’s show my sister how fast I can get you off.” The more I talked the harder he became. I kept at it, rocking back and forth until I knew he was prepared to fill his side of the bargain. With my sister falling apart beside us, I stood up and put my pants back on. “The show is over. You’ve proved you’d go through with it. Now there’s one last test I need you to take.”
“What?” His body tightened as he sat up straight.
I leaned down and fastened his pants. “Tell your wife goodbye and help me sink this hunk of metal.”
“You said you’d let her go. There’s no way in hell I’m killing a person.”
I turned around and smiled, knowing he was going to lose his shit. “I lied.” I waited for his face to display the disappointment. He’d betrayed her to save her, only to come up empty. She would die with the image of us together in her mind. Even in death she’d never forgive him. “So what’s it going to be, Stoshua? Are you with me, or against me? I have no problem wrapping you back up with that tape and letting you go. It’s your choice. Willow needs to go. It’s final. You can’t save her.”
“Please don’t make me choose. She’s the mother of my children. You can’t be that cruel.”
“Oh, but I am. You see, she’s taken everything from me. I want her gone, and if you want to stand by me and raise our children, you’ll help me do it, or else you can say your goodbyes to life yourself.”
“No! No way. I’m not doing it. I can’t.” He shifted his body, struggling to come to terms with what I was asking of him. “I can’t hurt another human being, especially someone I care about.”
The gun was cocked and loaded, aimed right for his temple. Willow started freaking out, shaking her head around and screaming under the tape gag. He looked at her, in her pleading eyes, looking for some type of resolution. I was asking him to make the ultimate sacrifice – to kill the love of his life – to take her out of the equation.
Then, when I was about to give up hope, he shocked me. “I’m with you.” He didn’t hesitate. “But I think it’s more believable if she’s in the driver’s seat. By the time they find the wreckage her body will have been eaten on by sea life. They’ll think she committed suicide. I’ll remove her wedding rings. We can take her identification and leave the country as a married couple. They’ll think she’s you.”
“Wow, look at you, making such smart decisions. You’re really in this aren’t you?”
“Yeah,
of course. Untie me, Ivy. Let me help you move her. I’m worried about the kids being alone. Des doesn’t know the first thing about taking care of her brother. She’s three.”
“Okay, fine.” I removed the tape off him, but took the gun in my hand for security purposes. “Get moving. We can’t be spotted near the vehicle.”
Stoshua did as I told him, while I stood outside the vehicle to keep an eye out. I could tell Willow was trying to break free. Each time he laid a hand on her, she jerked away, at one point kicking him hard in the groin. He hunched over but used his anger to take control. I could hear him cussing under his breath, saying something to her as he pushed her into the driver’s seat. He unfastened her hands to be able to buckle the seatbelt, and then took the tape to attach both to the steering wheel. She tried to break free, but was unable to.
Stoshua looked toward me. “Can I say goodbye? She is the mother of my children. I at least owe her that.”
I waved my hands around, feeling annoyed, even though I knew it was necessary. “Fine. Do what you must. Make it quick.”
It was hard watching him, glossy eyed and lips trembling. This was hard on him, but he’d get over it. He’d help me raise his children and learn to love me again, because I’d be all he had left. This ended the rivalry between us. One twin would remain, and I’d make sure my life was full of new beginnings. I’d be one of a kind, relentless, and finally a parent.
“Do you want to do the honors, or should I?” He asked.
“Go ahead. Make sure she goes in far. Secure the wood so it stays. I don’t want the van sticking out at all.”
Stoshua started the vehicle. He put it in neutral and positioned the log. Then, with quite precision, he put it in drive.
I watched it like it moved in slow motion. The van took off, getting air before plunging into the body of water. At first it floated, but as the air bubbles began ascending, it dropped at a rapid pace.
Stoshua stood there for only a second, turned around and caught my arm. “Come on. We need to get out of here. We can’t get caught with the kids still alone in that motel room. We need to run, Ivy.”
He was right. We took off, arriving at the motel a little later. When I opened the door I found Destiny asleep on the bed next to her brother. He was awake, but smiling as he looked up and saw us.
After making sure the kids were okay, Stoshua ran into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Never, in my entire life, had I heard a man cry like he was. He had regrets, that I was sure. I couldn’t be angry. He’d made the decision to be with me, but we’d killed a person; someone he’d loved his whole adult life. Maybe I should have shed a tear too, except I felt like laughing. I was ecstatic. I wanted to take the kids out for ice cream and celebrate. Ding dong my twin was gone. It wouldn’t bother me to pretend to be Willow for the rest of my days, because it came with such a good reward. Suddenly, my future was in front of me, waiting to be seized.
It was up to me to make sure it happened. I would be the savior Stoshua needed to get through this. He needed time, and we had our whole lives ahead of us.
Chapter 12
Willow was dead, and with time running out we needed to change our travel plans in a hurry. While Stoshua remained in the bathroom, weeping, I sat down with Destiny and bought us tickets to fly to the Bahamas. From there we could catch a flight to another country, some place no one would ever come looking. We could put down roots and forget all about this bump in the road.
Once the travel plans were prepared, we had to get moving if we wanted to make it to the airport in time.
I knocked on the door, hoping he’d let me inside. He cracked it, but didn’t offer for me to come in. I peeked through the small opening. “Are you okay? I know it was hard.”
“You don’t know the half of it, Ivy. Do you even understand what I’ve done? I left my wife for dead after I fucked her sister in front of her. I can’t live with myself. I’d rather die than look in the mirror and know I was that person. I hate myself.”
“You did it for me. You did it for us to be together. You said you wanted it.”
“You want us to be honest, don’t you?”
It was clear he regretted picking me. “You did it for the kids, right? It wasn’t for me at all. I’m not an idiot. You did it because you don’t trust me to raise your children. You think I’m crazy.”
“It doesn’t matter what I think. I’m here with you. You got what you wanted. Willow is gone, and I’ll have to live with it for the rest of my life.”
I reached my hand up and touched his, hoping he wouldn’t pull away. The look he gave me said it all. I repulsed him. “Do you wish you were in that water with Willow?”
“Why? Do you want to kill me now? You think I selfishly played you? Willow would have wanted me to protect my children, no matter what extremes I had to go through. You want to know the truth, so I’m going to give it to you. I will never love you, Ivy. It’s impossible. I’ve never been yours, and you know it deep down inside. Your sister was and will always be the love of my life. There’s nothing you can do to change it. I’ll go along with this stupid plan, but only because I’d never leave you alone with my kids. I won’t let them turn out the way you did.”
I was so hurt by his words I had to leave the bathroom. It devastated me, so much I considered going in and blowing off his head. I didn’t need his negativity. If he couldn’t trust I’d be a good mother, he didn’t know me at all.
I’d thought I could change him. Maybe I was wrong to assume it. Maybe his love for my late sister was so strong I couldn’t break the barrier. He’d allowed me to be with him in the van out of a desperate attempt to survive. His reminiscing was only a ploy to get me to trust him.
I grabbed the gun out of my bag, prepared to send him to the same cold place my sister was, but Destiny got in the way. “Fairy godmother, why are you sad?”
I tucked the weapon back in the bag and turned to face her. “I’m fine, silly. Daddy didn’t want to go with Mommy, and now he misses her. We’re going to have to work hard to cheer him up.”
“You said he wasn’t allowed to go with us.”
She was too smart for her own good. “I did, but what I meant to say was that only one person could come with us. Is it okay if it’s Daddy?”
She sighed and looked sad. “Yes, but when will Mommy be back?”
Seeing the emptiness in her eyes left me vulnerable. I remembered having my feelings hurt as a child. Willow was always the one to come in and comfort me. She was good at it, where I wanted to bottle up my feelings, or write them in a journal.
“Don’t be sad, kiddo. We’re about to get on an airplane. Isn’t it exciting?”
She seemed amused. “Will we go in the air?”
“Yes. We will be in the sky, just like you see them. Isn’t that cool?”
“Yes,” she seemed giddy.
“Good. Help me change your brother and we’ll be on our way.”
She did as she was told, fetching me a fresh diaper and the wipes. I could tell she’d helped her parents out before. She knew how to do things a normal child her age wouldn’t understand. Willow would have taught her those things.
I thought back to when she hid the pregnancy from me. She risked her life to keep the secret from being discovered. Stoshua had gotten shot and been crippled. When I was locked up they must have gone through a lot of changes. He’d obviously recovered, but I wondered how it affected them mentally. Was their relationship a challenge because of the lies it was built on? Did they have to start over? Did they fight about me? I wondered if my sister hated the fact that I’d been with her man before her? Did she ever feel like her life was a competition? When they made love had she wondered if she was better than me?
I wished I had the answers. Perhaps I’d be able to understand what Stoshua was going through. He was obviously in pain, and I wasn’t able to make it better. For most of my life I’d wanted my sister gone – wished I was an only child. Now it had happened. I suppose I should be ce
lebrating, but my heart ached for him. I felt wretched for forcing him to make a life or death decision based on my own selfish desires.
When I was finished changing Marcus, I knocked on the bathroom door again, this time with him in my arms. Stoshua was still sitting on the closed toilet seat, his head buried in his hands. “I brought someone you might want to see. He has a fresh diaper, and he’s ready to head out.”
He looked up and reached for his son’s foot. The mere touch caused him to break down. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so so sorry,” he cried in his hands. “She’ll never forgive me. She begged me to stop.”
Marcus was beginning to cry. I could tell his father’s actions were scaring him. “I need to know if you’re coming with us. We need to go soon. Our flights have been booked. It’s important we keep moving.”
“I’m fully aware of your predicament.”
“Stoshua, I am sorry it had to go down the way it did. I get how much you loved her. I won’t push you to be with me. If something changes and you decided -.”
“I decided what?” He interrupted. “That I want you? Fuck you, Ivy. I hope they catch you.” He stood and pulled his son out of my arms. “If I were you, I’d get out while you still can. Me and the kids are going to hold you back. Let us morn Willow in peace. I thought I could go with you, but I was wrong. I can’t do this. I won’t let you drag my kids out of the country. It’s dangerous and not the way I promised my wife we’d raise them.”
“You can’t back out on me now, Stoshua. I can force you, need be.”
“You could, but I don’t think you will.”
“Destiny comes with me,” I announced. “That’s the deal. If you want me to walk away, I am taking her with me.”
“What? You’re out of your mind. I won’t let you do it.”
I placed my hands on my hips. “Then come on. We’re going to miss our flight.” When he didn’t budge I took matters to extremes. I walked out and grabbed the gun, bringing it back into the bathroom with it cocked and ready to fire. “I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. Get up and help me load the kids in the new vehicle. We need to get on the road.”
Twinsequences Ivy Page 8
