I laugh, and he smiles, shaking his head. “The point is, we’re not going to be apart. Besides, we still haven’t heard from Stanford. Right? That’s because it’s meant to be for us. Stanford is where we’re destined to go together.”
This is what I mean. Noah understands that I don’t have financial means, but he doesn’t really understand. He’s not thinking about where I’ll live, or how I’ll eat. The mountains of debt I’ll have to take on, or that it may take me longer than four, five, maybe even six years because I’ll have to work.
I can’t bring myself to pop his enthusiastically swaying balloon. So I don’t. I reach across the center console, run my hand over his cheek, and tell him we’ll work it out somehow. The lie tastes sour, even though he swallows it like it’s velvety chocolate.
“Does Mom know?” I hiss, cornered in the bathroom I share with Sky. The plastic rings slide across the rod as I shove the teal shower curtain out of my way.
“No,” Sky whispers, “but only because I swore up and down I remembered the girl you were spending the night with, and that you weren’t going to prom, even though you have a boyfriend.” She crosses her arms and stares at me, her mouth a thin, angry line.
“Thank you,” I say in an insistent voice. “I mean it. She would’ve killed me if she knew where I really was.”
“Where were you?” Sky asks. Only one of her eyebrows rises on her forehead. I really wish I could do that. My only cool trick is to roll one eye while the other stays still.
“I went to the coast with Noah. His parents have a place.”
“Did you—?” I nod before she can finish, and her eyes grow wide.
Sky hates that she’s a virgin. In her moments of outrage, she threatens to go out to a bar and lose it in a bathroom to a random guy. In her next breath, she’s hyperventilating about germs.
“What was it like?” She pinches her lower lip and twists it as she waits for my response. Her eyes look wistful. In a world where Sky’s anxiety didn’t debilitate her, our roles would be reversed and I would’ve asked this question of her.
“It was…” I purse my lips, trying to come up with a word that can hold the weight of everything I felt.
Magic, I think. “Incredible,” I say out loud.
“I need more than that.” She bugs out her eyes and looks at me in irritation.
“Sorry, sorry.” I laugh. “It was worth waiting for. I can see how it would suck to do it with someone I was ‘meh’ about. With Noah, it was… Wow.” The way he pushed the hair from my face, his soft kisses in the space under my ear, his palm running up the length of my thigh. I can’t say all that to Sky, because I want to keep some things to myself. I don’t want to share it.
“Maybe…one day…” She intertwines her fingers and lifts them, only to drop them immediately.
My hands go to her shoulders, squeezing, as if I could possibly wring out the pain her anxiety causes her. “You can do it, Sky. You can go to college, you can meet someone, you can have a normal life.”
“I’ve been thinking about college. I checked out those scholarships you wrote down.” There’s a tug on her lips, her face is turning up into a hopeful smile, and I don’t even think she knows it. It makes my heart happy. “There’s one I think might work. Maybe. I mean, I don’t know. It probably won’t.”
As if she’s a balloon, I watch her deflate in front of me. Her smile slips away, but my hope hasn’t left. Sky just took a step, however fleeting, in the right direction.
“Sky, sometimes you have to do things that scare you, just to show yourself you’re capable of recovering from the experience.” I’m saying the right words to her, trying to put just one tiny hole in the walls her anxiety constructs, but the words hit home for me too.
I wish Noah didn’t scare me, but he does. I wish there weren’t any reason to fear him, to fear this love, to fear these feelings. I might be a free spirit, but I have eyes. Difficulties lie ahead of us, like roadblocks on the path to bliss.
I’m terrified.
13
Noah
Ember sees things I don’t see.
We will find a way to go to college together. Even if we have to go to community college for two years before we get to a big university. I don’t know how it’s going work, only that it is.
“Do you want anything to eat?” Ember asks me, grabbing an apple from a bag on her kitchen counter.
“I’m good. I’m saving myself for the wing challenge.” Eating a dozen blazing hot wings sounded like a good idea when Brody called yesterday and told me he wanted me to do it with him. Now I’m not so sure having my picture on the wall at some stupid restaurant is that big of a deal.
Ember bites into her apple and chews. “How likely are you to make it through all of them?” she asks, swallowing.
“I’m a sure bet,” I say, grabbing her waist and pulling her into me. It’s not that I like spicy food, but I love a challenge, and I hate losing enough to push myself through almost anything.
“Are you ready to meet Alyssa?” Ember snuggles her head against me, snapping off another bite of apple.
“Brody talks about her so much, I feel like I don’t even need to meet her.” Every time the guy is home, he won’t shut up about his girlfriend. It’s as if he’s never met a girl before. Odd, all things considered.
“I think it’s sweet,” Ember murmurs against me.
“I think you’re sweet.” I drop my head so my lips brush her hair. “And sexy. And you give the best—”
“Noah!” Ember wrestles from me and starts motioning with her head. Following her gaze, I see her mom standing just inside the door to the apartment.
“Shoulder massages,” I finish. I realize how bad that sounded. I was going to say fake tattoos but freaked out when Ember said my name.
Maddie stares at me with shrewd eyes. Ember swears her mother doesn’t know about our weekend at the coast, but I’ve been getting a vibe from her since then. Maybe it’s my own guilty conscience, but I swear she’s looking at me as if she knows every single thing I did with her daughter.
“Hi, Mom,” Ember says as Maddie throws her purse onto the counter.
Maddie says hello to both of us, heads to the sink, and turns on the water. She pumps enough soap for three people onto her open palm. Holding a finger to the water, she waits for ten seconds, then picks up a small brush from the back of the sink and scrubs her nails. I thought thirty seconds of warm, soapy water was enough to kill most germs, but Maddie has been going at it for nearly a minute.
I look at Ember for explanation, but she’s watching her mom with a pensive look on her face.
Maddie finishes, dries her hands on a clean towel she has removed from a drawer, and takes a deep breath. “Now,” she says, “you two looked cozy when I walked in. Are you having sex?”
“No,” I say automatically.
“Yes,” Ember says.
Maddie keeps her gaze on Ember. She doesn’t look mad, or sad, or upset, or anything. “Are you being safe?” she asks. Now she’s looking at me, and her eyes harden a fraction.
“Yes,” I answer. I feel like I owe it to her to speak. “Are you going to tell my parents?” Not that it’s the end of the world, but I’d rather not have the conversation with them.
Maddie laughs, taking me by surprise. I don’t know what’s funny. “Noah, I won’t be telling your parents a thing, but don’t you think they already know?”
Her words make me think back to the day Ember and I skipped school, and how my dad knew exactly where to find me. “Yeah, probably.”
Maddie opens a cupboard, and inside I see a lot of pasta, some canned goods, and packets of dried soup. Tipping her head to one side, she reaches in and pushes things around.
“We’re going out tonight.” Ember tells her. “A double-date with Noah’s brother, Brody, and his girlfriend, Alyssa.”
Maddie turns, looking at me with wide eyes. “Your brother’s name is Brody?”
“Yeah…”
&nb
sp; Ember and I look at each other, and she shrugs. “Mom, are you okay?” She asks.
“Fine.” Maddie turns back around. “I’m fine. I just… That would’ve been my boy name if I’d had one, that’s all.”
“Really?” Ember asks. “I would’ve thought you’d choose something like Forest, or Hunter, or…”
“Shades of green?” Maddie asks, a confused smile on her face. Her shock over my brother’s name seems to have dissipated. Ember lifts a section of hair with one hand and points to it with the other. “Oh, yes,” Maddie laughs. “What can I say? I’m missing a creativity bone. Apparently, I like to state the obvious.”
Ember laughs softly, but I’m not sure what the hell to do. Maddie’s being so chill about finding out Ember and I are sleeping together, it’s disconcerting. Shouldn’t she be chasing me out of the place with a kitchen knife, while screeching at me to stay away from her daughter?
Maddie asks Ember a question, something about Sky, and I try to calm my accelerated heart rate. Normally I don’t mind hanging out at Ember’s place, but right now I can’t wait to leave. Suddenly filling my body with flaming hot wings doesn’t sound so bad.
“Alyssa, it’s nice to finally spend some time with the girl Brody doesn’t shut up about.” I lean back in the booth, looking across the table to my brother.
Alyssa sweeps her blue eyes to Brody, her cheeks flushing, and grins at him.
“You don’t shut up about me?”
He leans over and pushes his face into her hair, murmuring into her ear. I pretend to vomit, and it gets Brody’s attention.
“I’ve watched you and Ember act like this for almost two months,” Brody says. “Deal with it.”
I hold up my hands. “Feel free to suck face. I’m not going to stop you.”
“I will,” Alyssa chimes, playfully pushing away Brody’s face when he leans in. “My lips are still burning from the last time you kissed me.” She smacks her lips together.
“Mine too,” Ember says from her place beside me. We’re tucked in a booth in the back of the restaurant. The wing challenge is over, and I won. I ate the wings, even though it felt like real flames were shooting from my mouth. I drank a huge glass of milk after in an attempt to cool it down, and I did it faster than Brody.
I won.
Ember won’t let me kiss her now, so I suppose I’m paying the price.
“Did Dad tell you who’s coming for a tour next weekend?” Brody sips his beer and licks the froth from his top lip. He looks around for our server, and when he’s certain she isn’t there, he pushes the glass across the table to me.
I take a small sip. “Who?”
“Anton Dalto.”
I freeze. Everything in my world has just come to a screeching halt.
“I know.” Brody nods. “I don’t think he’s coming to try Dad’s new varietal.”
Maybe he is. Maybe Dalto loves wine. It’s probably a coincidence.
“Who is Anton Dalto?” Ember asks.
“The head coach of the soccer team at Stanford,” Brody answers. I’m glad he responded to her, because I can’t right now. My words are frozen right along with the rest of my limbs. Brody points at me. “He’s coming with his family, so you better be there helping dad with the tour.” His tone has changed. He’s changed into his big brother pants.
“Noah, this is amazing!” Ember tugs my arm, and warmth floods back into my body.
My brain is still grappling with the information. Anton Dalto was one of the best players in the world before his retirement four years ago. His wife wanted to live in the States, and they chose California. I’ve been watching him play since I was young, cheered him on as he scored four goals in a single World Cup game, and led his team to victory in a stunning shut-out. Last year, when I wanted to work on ball handling with my left foot, I watched old videos of him running down the field, leading his team.
They’ve already chosen their team.
It’s important I remember that. Dalto’s not coming to the vineyard to recruit me. Brody is wrong.
Finally the fog lifts from my thoughts and I refocus on my brother. He looks worried, and I realize he’s waiting on a response from me.
“Yeah, of course I’ll be there.”
Relief rearranges his features, and he adopts a shaky smile. “I know they’ve already recruited, but you never know, Noah. You just never know. If anything, this better positions you for a walk-on.”
Alyssa snuggles into his side, and he turns to her, taken away by whatever it is she’s saying.
I can hardly hear anything. My mind is buzzing like a beehive took up residence in my skull.
Dalto… At my vineyard… Breathing the same air as me…
“Are you excited?” Ember breaks through my thoughts. She slips her hand into mine and squeezes.
“Yeah.” My voice doesn’t give away any of what I’m feeling inside. If I let myself, I’ll start running away with half-baked ideas of somehow convincing Dalto to give me a shot.
“Good. You should be.” She smiles up at me, the whites of her eyes shiny, her cheeks a rosy hue. They hold no fear of our future. No worry of what a visit from Dalto could mean for me. For us.
“You’re better than all other bests,” I say. “Even combined, you’re better than every best that could ever be.” Does Ember know that? Does she understand how rare she is? How rare what we have is?
Instead of responding, she kisses me. Deeply, sweetly, in that way she has that makes all my surroundings blur.
“Get a room,” Brody calls from across the table. Alyssa smacks his arm.
I flip him off, and when Ember tries to pull away I don’t let her.
The news of Dalto’s visit is shaking my stable ground, and I need Ember to steady me.
14
Ember
I’m not supposed to answer my phone while I’m on the clock, but Sky has called me three times.
“What’s up?” I whisper-hiss. If Gruff catches me, he’ll be pissed. He might even write me up. Teenagers and their cell phones, he complains. They can’t wait to tell each other every time they pee, or take a bite of food.
“I just did something big. Really big.” Her voice is high-pitched, like she’s holding back a squeal. I can see her sitting on her bed, holding a hand over her mouth as if she might surprise even herself by saying the words.
“Uh huh,” I say as quietly as I can. “And what was that?” Maybe she has taken up knitting with Mom, or cooking, or collecting porcelain cat figurines. Sky’s life is more boring than any of us would like to admit, so this leaves a lot for her to be enthusiastic about.
“I signed up for classes at Northmount Community College next semester.” Her words are so rushed they come out on top of the other.
“What?” I say loudly. Gruff looks up from where he’s restocking a display of cheap sunglasses. His narrowed eyes find me in an instant.
“That’s great,” I whisper, whipping around so he can only see my back. “I’ll bring home something sweet to celebrate, okay?”
“Those chocolate Easter eggs with the candy coating?” Sky asks hopefully. “You know I can’t say no to those.”
“Perfect.” Especially since Easter is over and all that candy is marked down seventy percent. “Go tell Mom. I’ll see you in an hour.”
Gruff taps on my shoulder just as I press the end button. I look back at him and the crooked finger he has pointing back towards the office.
“Okay,” I say cheerfully, leading the way.
The write-up is worth answering Sky’s call. So is enduring Gruff’s lecture about phone usage while I’m on his clock.
When I arrive home with three bags of Sky’s favorite candy, she’s all smiles. My mom had already bought a bottle of sparkling apple cider, and we spend the next hour sipping it from coffee mugs while eating too much chocolate.
Noah was crowned prom king, and I was christened public enemy number one—to everyone except Noah’s closest friends, anyhow.
I’ve heard the whispers.
She’s, like, taking Noah away from everyone.
I heard they sit at her house in the dark and stare at the wall.
What is up with all those piercings? I bet she has her snatch pierced too.
I laughed out loud about the snatch one. It was pretty funny.
Today I get a break from the rumor mill. It’s Saturday, and a normal day for me, although it’s anything but a typical day for Noah.
Anton Dalto is arriving at Sutton House this afternoon, and Johanna’s going nuts. Ten minutes ago Noah called to tell me he’s coming to my place to escape the stressful atmosphere at home.
Thank god he called first. I only hope I can get up to my apartment before he arrives. The envelope in my back pocket feels like it’s alive.
I’d take the stairs two at a time, but they’re treacherous enough already. I’m halfway up when I hear a car door close. I already know it’s him. My body can sense his nearness.
He shouts my name and I turn. Leaning onto the black iron rail for support, I wave at him as he jogs from his car. He takes the stairs two at a time, only stopping when he reaches me.
“Show-off,” I mutter teasingly.
Noah traces my jaw with a fingertip, but his eyes look frenzied, and his cheeks are flushed. He’s nervous about today.
“Are you still scared of those stairs?” He asks in a teasing voice.
I stick out my tongue and give the bottom of my shirt a tug, making certain it covers the top half of the envelope. When I’m positive it’s safely hidden, I turn and head for the next set of stairs that will take us to my apartment.
“I’m glad you aren’t babysitting yet. I really needed to get out of the house. My mom is running around the restaurant and the tasting room like the Queen of England is coming.”
Magic Minutes Page 11
