by B. E. Laine
The slightest aroma can bring that night back to me in heartbeat. The summer air, pastures filled with wild flowers, a dirt road, and the undeniable smell of car exhaust. I should have known, by the feeling of unease when I went to sneak out of my mother’s house that night, that something wasn’t right. Of course I blew it off and told myself that I was crazy to think that something bad was going to happen. Nothing ever happened in small towns like this. Plus, he was my ex, even though I had no clue what we still had to talk about.
I must have zoned out because Lauren is waving one of her little black dresses in front of me. I shook my head and said, “Uh … no way, Lauren. I am not wearing that!”
Hand on her hip, and dress in the other hand, she says, “Yes! You have the perfect body for it, Kara!”
Besides thinking it was a good idea for me to go out with her in the first place, now she wants me to wear that?! I do not have the legs for that dress; plus, the few extra pounds I’m sure I need to lose would not look good squeezed in there. She’s still standing there, her soft blue eyes pleading. I really wish I knew why she was so insistent that I go out with her tonight. “Fine! I’ll try it on, but if it looks stupid I’m not wearing it,” I snap, rolling my eyes when she can’t see me.
I stand in front of the full-length mirror, staring at my short pale legs and the little bulge in my stomach area that really stands out in the dress. I have no clue what she plans on doing with this chestnut-colored mess of waves on top of my head. As almond-shaped, boring brown eyes stare back at me, I wonder how she is ever going to get rid of the dark circles floating underneath them. There’s just no hope for my heart-shaped face and small lips, but I do have to say that the dress is gorgeous, minus me in it. It has a sweetheart neckline that flows into the beaded waist where the satin meets up with the beads at my hip. I hope the dress being black will help disguise the extra pounds.
“Get your sexy butt out here, Kara!” Lauren is banging on the other side of the bathroom door, as I stand there trying to pull the hem of the dress down. It doesn’t make sense. Lauren is three inches taller than me. I don’t know how in the world she wears this.
I take a deep breath and blow the loose strands of hair out of my face. Reluctantly, I open the door. She squeals when she sees me, “Oh, my gosh! That looks so much better on you than me! You have to wear it!” she says doing her happy dance, clapping her hands, making me smile at how excited she is.
“Okay. Fine. But no heels, and I get to put something over the top.” Not only was I shorter than her, but my chest was bigger and the dress seemed to show that more than I would have liked. I am such a pushover.
She didn’t miss a beat and said, “Okay, that’s fine. I have this perfect little shawl to go around your shoulders, and these cute sandals!” I started to think maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad after all; I can still have a normal life. The whole reason for moving away was to get a fresh start.
After arguing with her about my make-up and hair, but her still getting her way, I slide into her expensive beige leather seats, hoping I didn’t look too much like a stuck up bitch, as my mother would say about the little rich girls we would sometimes see when we would come to the city to go shopping. I can remember her telling me, “They aren’t really as happy as they look. More than likely, it’s those people that are more miserable than you and me”. I can hear her voice in my head as she says it. I really should call her. Ever since I moved here, neither my mom nor my sister wants to talk to me because they say “I left them”. Of course, I know they are really mad at my father, who left when I was little. I learned to deal with it and move on. It was his loss, right? However, my mother and sister still seemed to dwell on the fact that he left so when I left, they basically disowned me that first year.
My mother has been trying to make amends with me over the summer, though I have no clue why. It’s not that we had the worst relationship when I lived at home, but it sure as hell was not the best, either. I knew she was always there for me when I needed her, but after that night, I think that’s when our relationship hit rock bottom. She knew that I was not the same, but I wouldn’t open up to her about it. Being from a small town, there were accusations like “Karaline are you doing drugs? Are you drinking? Are you having sex? Are you pregnant?!” The questions never subsided so I just always gave her the silent treatment. It was better than the truth.
“Hello?” I don’t know how many times she has said it to get my attention. She snaps her fingers in my face, but I don’t come back to reality until I look out my window and see we stopped. I’m guessing we are where at our destination, even though she did not tell me where that was.
“Oh … sorry. Are we here?” I say, trying to sound more excited than I really was. I feel like a total idiot dressed like this, and I was going out with people I don’t know. Really, what was I thinking? Well, I can’t do anything about it now. Time to slap on a fake smile and make the best of it. This is what college is all about right?
“Yeah! Are you ready to party?” She’s sporting a mischievous grin on her face.
I look around one more time before getting out. We are sitting in front of some random house that I don’t know, probably because I do not know the city very well. Just great. I’m here at God-knows-where. I start to really get nervous, sweaty palms and all.
We are parked on the side of a busy street in a neighborhood-like setting that I could never afford to live in. There are people walking around in business suits, talking on their phones. I look up and see an old building that looks like it was remodeled at one point. I look at Lauren, give her the best smile I could muster, and go to open the car door.
I try my best to get out as gracefully as possible, but the length of the dress makes me think that it’s not going to be easily accomplished. When I go to step out and stand, my sandal slips off the curb. I saw a face-plant in my future, but warm hands caught me. Embarrassed as hell, I look up to find the most gorgeous hazel eyes staring back at me. I am lost as to what I was supposed to be doing. I just stand here, staring at this perfection of a man who still has his hand gripped around my upper arm. I wanted to believe that he didn’t want to let go almost as much as I didn’t want him to. We seemed lost in each other’s eyes.
“Are you alright?” Lauren stood on the sidewalk, fiddling with her clutch, staring at me and the stranger that is still holding my arm. Impeccable timing, Lauren.
I look over to her. “I slipped.”
“Are you okay?” The voice caused my head shoot back at him. Hearing him speak for the first time made my knees buckle beneath me. He tightens his hold a bit.
Get a grip, Kara!
I realize that he’s still holding me upright so I stand to straighten myself and regain my composure. I was getting a good first look at the male figure standing in front of me. He was so close that I could smell a scent that should be illegal, and it was making me think things I have never thought before.
He was perfection. His soft black hair paired well with those hazel eyes, his straight-lined jaw went nicely with those full lips. Because I’m just standing here, trying to memorize his every feature, he raises those sexy eyebrows, leans down to look me in the eye, and smiles. My god, even perfect smile. I realize he is waiting for me to answer. Crap! I’m sure I look more like an idiot than I did when I almost fell.
“Uh … yeah, I’m okay.” It’s all I could manage to get out. I was still fixed on how gorgeous this man is. I look down, hoping the ground would just swallow me up right now. This is why I do not go out.
Lauren stood awkwardly to my right, waiting for whatever was happening to be over with. She looked at her watch. “Karaline, we’re going to be late.”
I had totally forgotten about the party. It was like everything from this evening had slipped my mind just by looking at him. That is when I knew I needed to get as far away from him as possible because everything I had built up and pushed out would fall apart otherwise. He was already making me forget what I was do
ing.
He spoke again, more concerned than any stranger should be for another. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, thank-you for … uh … keeping me from falling.” I stutter over my words. I didn’t fall; I almost fell. I was already reaching for the door, I could have caught myself. Yeah, right, I would have totally face-planted it.
More satisfied with this answer than the previous one, he nods and says, “I’ll let you ladies get to your evening plans then.”
With that, he turns and walks away, giving me a good look at his exquisitely muscled back that shows through the black shirt as he moves effortlessly down the sidewalk. I look down at his arms to see the tattoos poking out of one sleeve and covering the other arm completely. I really need to stay away from him, but I can’t stop looking.
Lauren startles me … where did she come from? “He’s pretty freaking hot!”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess. You ready to go?” I was hoping that I wasn’t that obvious when I was checking him out, but he really was something to look at. I am sure that is all he is, too. Aren’t all guys that look like that? He turns the corner and I look at her.
She doesn’t pay any mind, “Yup! Let’s go have fun!”
She starts walking in the same direction as the strange guy. When we turn the corner, he’s gone, but there are people everywhere. It is Friday, but do these people not have anything better to do tonight? I take in my surroundings. The street lights catch my attention, as they begin to flutter to life. I can hear the beat of the music. When I realize we are going to a club, I start to panic.
Looking at the line of people, I turn to Lauren. “It doesn’t look like we’re getting in tonight.”
I tried to sound bummed and hide my excitement at the same time. She smiles at me with a smile that I’ve learned to recognize. I follow behind her, as we walk past all the people waiting in line. They give us bad looks. We walk right up to what I assume is the bouncer. He stands at least 6’3”, with arms bigger than my head. He is wearing a pink shirt that hugs him everywhere. Even if he didn’t pull the look off, I highly doubt anyone would tell him otherwise. I’m sure I wear a shocked expression as Lauren saunters right up to him, stands on her tiptoes, and kisses him on the cheek. She whispers something in his ear, he looks at me, back to her, and smiles. He moves the velvet rope back, and I gape at her. She turns to me and smiles, “Come on!”
Before Lauren dragged me through the door, I caught a glimpse of the name of the club. Hmm … Club L, with the “L” in neon pink and an intricate design. I’ve never heard of it before, but how would I? The name of the club goes to the back of my head, as I look around the inside for the first time.
It is like something you would see out of a magazine. Amazing! I gape in awe. There are white couches sitting against the walls framing the entire club. Do they really want a bunch of drunken people around those? There’s a second story with more plush couches in cabana-like covers. It is so loud that I barely hear the guy ask me for my coat. A coat guy, too?
“Where are we?” I yell.
She turns, smiling. “My daddy’s club!”
My mouth drops open as I scan the room one more time. Holy cow, she can’t be serious! I knew she had money by the way she dressed and her sports car, but this? This place is insane. The name totally makes sense now.
She turns and motions for me to follow her deeper into the club. The lights are everywhere, flashing to the beat of the music of some upbeat pop song. Not exactly my forte but, by the looks of the dance floor that is centered in the massive room, it’s popular amongst others my age.
It is just one night of normal! I got this!
As always, I thought too soon. I feel a hand touching my backside. I turn to see a preppy guy that looks like he has had way too many drinks. He is dressed like a million bucks, and he isn’t much older than me. Mr. Preppy is good-looking and he knows it, which is never a good sign. I stand frozen as he all but undresses me with those ice blue eyes. The flashy lights are reflecting on his dirty blonde hair.
“Hi, I’m Collin. What could they possibly call something as sexy as you?” he says, as he leans in way to close. He’s drenched in expensive cologne, and it making me gag.
I close my eyes, as the smell of the alcohol on his breath instantly takes me back to that night. No, not again, please! The smell of the exhaust is flooding my brain, as I stand frozen. I try to push all the bad memories away. I’m here to have fun. I try to do what the therapists always say in movies: go to a happy place in your mind where he can’t touch you … but it’s not working. I’m freaking out on the inside, while I stand here and look like an idiot.
As quickly as the stench of his breath came, it was gone. I open my eyes to see where Mr. Preppy guy went; he probably just left, thinking I was a freak or something. That is when I look up and see that the guy from earlier, the one that kept me from almost falling on the sidewalk, has his forearm holding Mr. Preppy by the neck up against the wall.
When I finally realize what is going on, I hear tattoo guy say, “I don’t think she was feeling you, man!”
Mr. Preppy smirks and mouths back. “Just what would you know about getting a girl, you thug?”
Just then, the security guys show up and start to haul both guys out, but Lauren stopped one of them. She whispers something to the security guy, and he lets tattoo guy go. They drag out Mr. Preppy. I turn to look at her and she’s smiling at something. I look to my right and see tattoo guy, who’s cautiously looking at me like I might explode at any second.
I break this triangle we have going on. Embarrassed, I say, “Thank-you, again.”
“Anytime, Miss …” My eyes lock with those killer hazels for the second time tonight.
Oh, crap! He wants your name, dummy! You’re just standing there like an idiot again! “Kara … Karaline … but people call me Kara.” Real smooth, Kara … not! He smiles. I thought he had killer eyes; they are nothing compared to that killer smile.
I try to look at anything but the gorgeous man who had saved me twice tonight. I see Lauren standing ten feet away at the bar, sipping a drink and enjoying the show. I look back up at him. He’s still staring at me, smiling. I try to talk normal, but my voice isn’t cooperating. “Thank-you again … Mr …”
“Drew … Andrew, but people call me Drew,” he says, mocking me with a smile.
I smile back at him while I pull myself together. “Well, Drew, thank-you again. I’m going to leave so you can enjoy your night without saving me every five minutes.”
He chuckles at that. I can feel myself caving in to the perfection of this man, but I know nothing with him will work. He is the bad boy type with booty calls on the side, I’m sure. All I know is that I need to get away. I cannot get mixed up with anyone, but then I get a whiff of him. He smelled like a fresh shower mixed with sweet musky amber. Getting close to him will ruin me, I know it.
“I’m sorry. My friend is waiting for me at the bar so I better go. It was nice meeting you, and thank-you again.” I turn to leave.
He softly placed his warm, rough hands on my forearm. I stiffen and glance down at his hand. He catches the change and releases my arm. He gestures to his hand. “I’m sorry.” He pauses like he’s deciding in his head what to say. “It was my pleasure.” With that, he turns and walks away.
I watch him walk away for the second time tonight. I can still feel the warmth from where his hand was on my arm. I turn and see Lauren at the bar, flirting with some guy. I go to the part of the bar that is closest to me, just down from Lauren and her flirt buddy. I order a rum and coke, something that I heard one of my mom’s boyfriends order while we were out eating one night. I take a sip, it’s not bad. Not bad at all. I make myself comfortable at the bar because dancing isn’t really my scene.
It seems like forever that I have been sitting here, and I have lost track of how many rum and cokes I’ve consumed, when Lauren comes up beside me. “Hey, girl! You havin’ fun?” I could tell she had a few drinks, t
oo. She stands there, all bubbly personality, like always, with some fruity drink in her hand.
“Uh, how are we getting back to the dorms?”
She giggles. “Oh, don’t worry! My daddy had my car taken back to the dorms, and he arranged for a car to take us back!”
As I turn back to my drink, I see her smile get wider and her eyes go big. I look over my shoulder. Then I see him again. We had been here for a while. I’m here because I have no life. I wonder why he’s still here. He walks through the crowd with grace, but with a “don’t fuck with me” look.
I turn back to the bar, absentmindedly stirring my drink with the little straws you get with them. I act oblivious to him, as he walks up on the opposite side as Lauren. He leans in way to close for comfort. I am fighting to keep my walls up. Just don’t look into those eyes! I don’t have to because I can smell him. However, there’s more than that … I can feel him there.
“Please tell me you have another ride home because both of y’all are plastered,” he says, matter of-fact. He confidently leans into the bar where I can see the muscles in his arm tighten.
I don’t dare to look at him. “Uh … yeah … Lauren’s dad has a car picking us up.” Ugh! Why am I stuttering? I am a grown ass woman, a senior at The University of freaking Tulsa, and I live by myself. Well, that last part isn’t totally true, but I should still not let some random guy intimidate me. I have a new and improved self that I’ve worked hard to build.
Finally, I look up at him and say, “Thank-you for your concern, Drew, but we have it covered.” Okay, maybe that was a little too bitchy.
My eyes are locked on his again. Irritation flickers through his eyes, but he has this power in them that captures me. I wonder if he can feel it, too. How can he keep doing this to me? He is making me forget who I am, who I have become. I really do not understand why he cares about some pathetic girl at a club.
