by B. E. Laine
He looks at me when he notices me openly staring at him with a smile plastered on my face. “What?” he asks.
I smile shyly and shake my head, “Just you. Thank-you.” I hoping he can feel how much I appreciate him being here for me.
“It’s what I am here for, baby. I’m here just for you.” That is when all the air leaves my body, apparently making me lose oxygen to the brain because I forgot about my aching ribs, wrapped my arms around his neck, and double over in pain. Man, I hope they are not broken.
“Why did you do that? Take it easy,” he says, as he rubs my back.
“I know, but you just have that thing about you.” He pulls his eyebrows together, like he is concentrating on something really hard, so try to explain. “You make me forget all the bad in my life; you are my good.”
“Oh, baby …” He carefully pulls me into his embrace.
When we reluctantly let go, and only because the water is still running and I am standing there totally naked, he turns to leave. “Where are you going?”
“I am going to let you take a shower,” he says, like it’s obvious.
I grasp his wrist with my hands, which are much smaller than his, and pull him back to me. “Will you take a shower with me … please?” I say in the most tempting voice I could muster.
He looks towards the door as though he is indecisive on what he should do. Instead of ripping me heart out by saying no, he starts to undress. I do a little happy dance in my head, and then turn so he can’t see my evil grin.
The hot water feels so good. I really needed this. I mentally note that I’ll be thanking him later for taking care of me. I’m standing under the water with my eyes closed, running my hands through my hair to ensure that I got it all wet, when I hear a low growl. My eyes snap open to catch Drew’s smoldering glare. I take a tentative step towards him, leaning my head back to hold his stare. I place my hands on his defined pecks, and he places his hand over mine. With his raspy voice, he says, “I’m not sure I can control myself.”
“You don’t have to, baby.”
He looks away, clenching his jaw. “Did you forget what happened today? There is no way I am doing that after … that!” he spits out.
My heart shatters as he speaks his last word, and I slowly take a step away from him. He doesn’t want me anymore! That’s why my body didn’t do anything for him when he was undressing me, and why he didn’t want to take a shower with me. He thinks I am disgusting, I know it. Tears form in my eyes, as I drop my head.
He steps toward me, capturing my chin and drawing my face up. “Hey … hey, what’s wrong?”
He looks as if he is at a loss. “I understand.” I say through sniffles.
Those sexy eyebrows of his pull together before they shoot up in understanding. “OH! No, baby! No! I always want you! I love you … I’m sorry that what I said made you think that I didn’t want you! I just meant that you have been through a lot today. Hell, you have bruises!” He makes a noise of disgust before he finishes. “I could not imagine what you are going through, and I will not take advantage of you in such a vulnerable state.” He is caressing me as I lay my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
Whoa … did he just say he loves me? I freeze, not knowing if he realized he said it in his banter. Is he waiting for me to say it back? I do not know what to do. His heart rate picks up a notch before he stumbles, “I, uh … I’m sorry I said it. No, I’m not sorry because I mean it. Damn. It’s just, um … I was waiting to say it when I knew you felt the same about me, but it sort of slipped out just then.”
I raise my head, meeting his worried eyes. “I do feel the same,” I say in a small voice.
His eyes go wide. “You do?”
I smile and shake my head. “Yes, I do. You are crazy to think otherwise.”
He cautiously wraps his arms around my waist and says playfully, “Well, then, why haven’t you said it?”
“I didn’t know if you felt the same,” I say, somberly.
That night, Drew was a perfect gentleman, as he made sure I was comfortable and had everything I needed. He must have been exhausted because he passed out as soon as we lay down. I’m just laying here, staring at nothing. My side is still pounding, but I lied and told him that the pain medicine worked so he would not worry. It doesn’t help that I am lying on my back with Drew’s massive arm draped over me, but I could not wake him if I wanted to. He looks so peaceful.
I wonder if I am being selfish wanting to be with him. I have too many problems; he deserves someone as perfect as he is. I absolutely hate that he has had to save me so many times. He should not have to keep watch over me. It is not fair to him. What if we stay together and he wakes up one day and realizes that this is neither the life nor the girl he envisioned for himself?
I shake the crazy thoughts from my head, as I’m finally starting to feel sleepy. I close my eyes and I see the inside of my car, feel him behind me. I open my eyes and it is gone. Deep breath! I lean into the sleeping Drew, breathing in his scent that instantly relaxes me. I put my arm on his and it is enough, the touch and smell of him, to let me fall into a peaceful sleep.
These past few months of my last semester of college with Drew have gone by so fast, compared to the last three years of college. For a month after the incident with Collin, Drew treated me like I was glass. I finally convinced him that I was not going to break. What I really wanted to tell him was that I have been through worse, but decided against it.
He has been the picture perfect boyfriend … surprising me with flowers at work, taking me on too expensive dinners that I insist he not do again because it was not my scene, though Drew fit in perfectly.
Before he took me out on one of those expensive dinners, I had never thought about how he’s only twenty-six, drives an expensive car, and can afford the lavish things he purchases. I, having the big mouth that I do, asked him while we were just lying around on the couch one lazy Sunday. “I know you work and all, but how do you have all that you have at such a young age?” I’m trying to sound nonchalant while I pick at my nails.
“Well, my car is paid for, Kenny practically lets me live here for nothing, and …,” he takes a breath, “I made a lot of money while I was fighting.”
“Oh, I see.” I try to make it sound like no big deal, even though I think it is.
He fought that much? It scares me to think of him fighting, possibly getting hurt. I do not know what I would do if he decided he wanted to do it again. I want to think that I would stand by him and support him but, in all reality, I don’t know if I am strong enough. It feels horrible to think that I might not be there for him like he has been here for me. I’d definitely try, though. He has been a blessing in my life; I owe him more than I will ever be able to repay.
I didn’t ask any more questions after that. Who am I to ask him to explain it to me? He dropped the subject also, but that did not stop him from showering me with gifts. I hated the thought of him giving me all these nice things when I could not give him anything in return. When I told him one night how I felt, he simply said, “You being here with me is worth more than anything you could buy me.”
“I feel the same way, Drew. I don’t need all these things to make me happy. I just want you.”
He just smiled, pulling me to him, and kissing me. When he pulled back, he said, “That is what I love about you.”
I had a new pair of diamond earrings, a new purse and, between him and Lauren, more clothes than I could wear in a month. Speaking of that rascal, we have become best friends. She is always there when I need to talk or for clothes advice, which has been more often recently because of all the nice restaurants Drew has been taking me to, and just wanting to look good for my man, in general. I have tried to be there for her in return, but with finals coming up and being in the middle of my internship, things have been hectic for me. Oh, and how can I forget my boyfriend?
I hope to be there for her in the coming months. With the holidays around the corner,
I am sure we will have plenty of shopping trips to go on since I have a boyfriend and a best friend to shop for. I would have another friend to shop for, but he seems to not want anything to do with me for some reason. I’ve tried to call him and talk to him every time I see him in public, but he just ignores my phone calls or says he’s in a hurry. Lauren said she has talked to him a few times. I didn’t ask why because I knew she had a crush on him, but she said he has been busy with his band and that he says he will call me soon. I am still waiting for that.
Thanksgiving came and went. Lauren went with her dad for a family dinner, and I am glad she has him. Drew insisted that we cook a meal for us to eat together. His friend was supposed to show for dinner, too, but bailed at the last minute. Drew said that he was surprised with my cooking skills, but I was at a loss for words with his. He put me to shame in the kitchen. I wondered how we could have dated this long and I did not know he could cook like that? I told him my cooking skills came from having to fend for myself when I lived at home. He said his did, too.
Sometimes I like to think that maybe fate had a little to do with me and Drew. Two lost souls that finally found their match. I think that what screws relationships up before they can even get started is how we picture a relationship is supposed to be. You go into a relationship thinking the other person is flawless, utter perfection. Okay, maybe I think Drew is, but my point is that we have had our arguments and disagreements. I know everything will not be perfect all the time. If it were, we would all be characters out of a movie. I don’t expect perfection from Drew; I want him to be exactly who he is.
With graduation next week, I have been looking for an apartment I can afford but still be close to my job since Ms. Martin asked me to stay her assistant! I was beyond excited when she told me. There is nothing else I could ask for in life.
Drew has been telling me not to waste time looking for an apartment, that I can just stay with him. I think that is a step to soon for us. Even though we are doing great, I do not want to complicate things.
I asked Lauren to go with me today to look at this apartment that is thirty minutes away from work. I know it’s not in a good neighborhood but, with my budget, I just need to find something quick.
“Kara, you are not going to live there! I will not allow it! Did you see the landlord checking us out?” She makes a disgusted face.
I sigh. “I know, but I really don’t have a choice.”
She gives me a pointed look. “Yes, you do.”
“Lauren, please don’t start …” I let that sentence trail off, as I bang my head against the steering wheel.
She is being way to quiet. It takes me by surprise so I look up and, as soon as I see her face, I roll my eyes. “What?”
“I was just thinking … I’m not sure if I have talked him into it yet, but …”
“Spit it out, Lauren,” I say, bored.
“I have been talking to daddy about me getting an apartment and, of course, I would have to have a roommate …”
“But, you still have one semester left. You don’t want to live at the dorms?”
“No! I have to be there enough as it is. Living there is beginning to become a little overrated.”
“I’m not sure I could afford …,” I start to say.
She holds up a hand. “Nope, daddy will pay for it.”
“I am sure he will not want some random girl living in an apartment that he is paying for,” I say, trying to reason with her.
“If I say I don’t want to live all alone …” She drags out “all alone” while making a pouty face. “Then he will be perfectly fine with it, I’m sure of it.”
“Okay, but I have to be out of the dorm by next week when I graduate.”
“That’s fine. He’s already been looking.” She turns her head looking out the window, then suddenly looks at me. “He’s already found one! We move in this weekend!”
I sit there astonished. “Lauren … I can’t. I mean, I already feel like I am taking advantage of you and your dad.”
“Trust me, you are not. Let me do this for you.” She sounds so grown up. “Plus, daddy has it all taken care of. Now, would you like to go see our new apartment?” There is the Lauren I know.
I just shake my head, trying to process all of this. In two seconds, what has been stressing me out for the past two weeks is solved. I guess having a daddy that actually cares makes stuff happen like that, or maybe having money makes it that easy.
She instructs me on how to get to our new apartment. I am really wishing she would have driven because I really hate driving in the city. I am not paying any attention to my surroundings, purely concentrating on not driving down one-way streets. She finally tells me to pull into a driveway. I look away from the road for the first time, and see several brick buildings of different sizes. They look pretty brand new, and pretty expensive.
“Uh, Lauren … are you sure this is the right place?” I’m hoping she’s wrong and right at the same time.
“Yep, I have already picked one out for us and have the key.” She holds it up.
I look at her to see if she is bluffing. I glare at her. “Why didn’t you tell me about all of this?
“Because I knew you would say no so I just told daddy that I wanted it.” She knows the truth at least. “Let’s go!”
She instructed me to park in the covered parking garage so we can be as close to our new apartment as possible. Our apartment, here? This will take some getting used to. I do not know how I will ever repay her for her kindness to me. We take the short walk from the parking garage to the apartment, and I roll my eyes at the astonishing size of this place. Because she’s already seen the inside, she opens the door for me to walk in.
I walk in the door, passing a smiling Lauren, into a clean entryway with arched doorways. This is too crazy! I see what looks like a bedroom straight ahead and, to my left, I walk through the arch to see windows covering the far wall. Everything is remarkably clean and new. I run my hand along the curved bar area, as I walk further into the living room. It’s already furnished!
Confused, I turn to look at Lauren but, before I can say anything, she beats me to it. “I hope you like the furniture! I picked it out, but we can always change it.”
“Uh … no, it’s beautiful, Lauren …” I never cry, but this time I do.
I launch at her and engulf her in a hug. She squeezes me right back and whispers in my ear, “I’m glad you like it. I know you have been through a lot in life and, hopefully, you will tell me one day. You deserve this. Do not think otherwise, okay?”
I pull back, tears still running down my face. “Thank-you so much! I don’t know how I can ever repay you for your generosity.”
She pulls out of the hug, throwing a hand up. “Don’t worry about it. I was going to find my own apartment whether you moved in with me or not. I’m glad you are, though.”
I look around at the already decorated and furnished apartment that is going to be paid for. I can’t wrap my head around this. She ushers me onto the patio, and shows me the most incredible view of the lawn and other buildings. She shows me her room. She finally has a closest big enough to house her massive collection of clothes, and a bathroom to match. She has her own balcony with a great view, and the décor is unbelievable. I know she personally decorated the apartment. She is good at those things.
We head back over towards the foyer, to the door I saw when I first came in. She opens the door further and I see a beautiful white bed, which looks like it belongs in a beach house, with matching dresser and night stands. It has a canopy with white sheer drapes hanging dramatically from the top. Then I see I have two windows framing a door that leads to the patio. I turn to Lauren, picking my jaw up off the floor. “This is my r-room?”
She gives me a hearty nod, “Yes! Do you like it?”
“YES! I love it!” I say, as I make my way to my own walk-in closet.
“You have to share the hall bath with guests, though. They didn’t have two suites.”<
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“Oh, don’t worry about that. I promise I will survive. Thank-you again!”
She talks me into going back to the dorms and packing right away so we can get completely moved in. I don’t have much to pack, though. All I brought with me from home are clothes and a few pictures. With Lauren’s and Drew’s help, I have accumulated a few more items that I do not think will fit in my car.
I decide to call Drew to tell him about the apartment and to see if he can help us move. He doesn’t answer, and it sends me to voicemail. I shrug, throw my phone in my purse, and get back to packing. Lauren’s dad has hired a truck to move our belongings so I guess I did not actually need Drew’s help. I really just wanted to talk to him, but I’m sure he is busy at work.
By the time it’s dark out, we have all of our boxes in our new apartment. We spend the evening drinking wine and unpacking. We talk about the past three years and how we both have changed. I am so glad I have someone like Lauren in my life. We giggle as we find old pictures and remember when we first met. It’s only when she stands and yawns, saying she is going to bed, that I realize Drew has not called or texted me.
It is getting late. I have never known him to work this late. Then the surge of panic goes through me. What if something happened to him? I do not know what I would do if anything did.
I knock on Laurens door and she answers half-dressed, “Sorry, but I haven’t heard from Drew since early this morning and I tried calling him. It’s getting late and he never works this late. What if something happened? I don’t know what to do.”
She stops me in my rant. “Breathe, Kara. I am sure he is fine. Try calling him one more time, or go to his house. He might have passed out when he got home. Just see if his car is there.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll do that. Thanks!” I say, but I’m already walking away to get my keys.
