“Brooke, do you want to join us?”
I hesitated before making my way into the office with the guys. Robert fired up his computer and brought up his emails.
“That one,” Travis said, pointing at the screen.
We looked over Robert’s shoulder and watched a video clip. It was Gina sitting at her desk on her computer. We heard the ping of a lift and she looked up, there was a puzzled expression on her face and then a smile.
She got up and walked towards the lift out of view of the camera. When she returned, she had the brown envelope in her hand. It looked to be sealed and she didn’t open it but took it straight to Robert’s office door. With a look over her shoulder and a nod to whoever was at the lift, she walked into the office. Through the glass wall she was seen placing the envelope on the desk and walking straight back to her own, carrying on with whatever she was doing. The clip ended. We sat looking at the screen for a few seconds digesting what we had seen and I placed a hand on Robert’s shoulder, a silent thank you for including me.
“Well, at least we know how the envelope got there but who gave it to her?” he said.
“Someone she knows and likes,” I replied.
They both looked at me, “First, she looks puzzled then smiled. Think about it, if you have a scheduled meeting it’s normally in the boardroom, you don’t get visitors to your office unannounced,” I said.
“The puzzled look, I bet, is because she was surprised to see who it was, someone who wouldn’t normally visit you and the smile because she knew and liked them. If this had been one of your team, for example, she would have smiled straight off.”
“She’s right,” Travis said. “She didn’t look in the envelope and there was nothing written on the outside which means she must have known what it contained, she opens your mail normally.”
“Can I ask something?” I said. “Why has it taken three days to get this clip, surely the CCTV should have been checked that day?”
I didn’t want to make Travis look bad.
“The player was down for a couple of days, had to wait for Mark to transfer the data,” he said. “You’re right, I’m sorry Rob, I should have got this sooner.”
“Well, we have it now. Tomorrow, I’ll ask Gina to explain. Travis you need to be in that meeting too, and for fucks sake, how come those camera angles were changed. We couldn’t see who came out of the elevator,” Robert said.
“It’s done, security have sorted it this afternoon. When I saw the clip, I got on to them, I can only assume someone moved them accidentally.”
“I think we can definitely assume it’s Miranda, I mean, who else could it be?” I said.
“I don’t know if you’re right, it would explain the photo of you, but not the one of us,” Travis replied.
“Let’s wait and see what Gina has to say tomorrow,” Robert answered, shutting down the computer.
Travis left and I put my arms around Robert’s neck, “Thank you for including me on that,” I said. “It meant a lot.”
He kissed my forehead and asked, “What you said last night, when we were dancing, you meant it right?”
“Of course I did,” I said, assuming he was referring to me staying.
“Then you need to be included in this,” he replied. “Come on, I’m going to make dinner, something a little healthier than popcorn.”
I watched him as he made a pasta dish leaving a mess. We sat and ate at the bar finishing off the wine we’d had earlier.
“So, how do I go about it then?” I asked. “Staying here.”
“I’ve a contact in immigration, let me have a word with them tomorrow, see what the procedure is,” he said.
Taking my hand, he added, “I’m glad, Brooke. I don’t want you to leave. No matter what you learn about me, what happens in the future, remember this weekend. Remember our normal couple of days.”
“Do you think you can tell me anything more, maybe about your aunt? I know what happened,” I asked.
“Yeah I know you do and I need to tear a strip off Evelyn for that.”
“Oh no, don’t, she was just trying to help,” I pleaded. “Robert, promise me. Don’t say anything, she already feels bad enough.”
He took my hand and we walked to the sofa, “You really want to know?” he asked and I nodded.
“I remember being at the foster home, in the UK and this old lady came to collect me. She had an American accent, told me she was my aunt, my father’s older sister. Without allowing me to bring anything from home she took me to the airport and we boarded a flight. She seemed okay to start with, talked to me about where she lived in Pittsburgh.
It took a while, I think, before we arrived at some run down, wooden house in the middle of nowhere. For the first couple of days she was okay, a bit nutty, reading the bible and always at church. I went to a local church school but didn’t get on with the other kids, different accent I guess. Other than one person, we became really good friends.”
I watched his jaw tighten and he swallowed hard, something to do with the one friend he’d had perhaps?
“The first time she beat me, I was late home. She expected me back at a certain time as I had chores to do around the house and the bus was late. She was waiting at the stop and as I got off, I remember her dragging me towards the house. Before we even got through the door, she hit me with a leather belt, the buckle end, across the back.
That’s how it went on for four years. I went to school concealing the cuts and bruises and got beaten. She would preach the bible at me every night and as time went on she got madder. She thought I was the devil, she wanted to cleanse me,” he chuckled at this and I was stunned that he could.
“Didn’t you tell anyone, the teachers or someone?” I asked.
“No, you have to understand, the whole place was one religious community. All the kids got beaten or abused, the local priest knew though. One day I had enough, I wanted out,” he paused, taking a breath.
“I didn’t mean to burn the house down but I did nothing to stop it either. I took her fucking belt and bibles to the basement, poured some gasoline over them, and struck a match. I let it fall and watched the flames take over, it was mesmerising. When the fire got out of control, I could have done something about it. I could have poured water over it but I didn’t, Brooke. I just stood back and watched.” He took a gulp of his wine.
“If you don’t want to tell me more, it’s okay,” I said gently.
His eyes were focused on something in the distance, I had lost him to the memory, and he continued.
“The room started to fill with smoke, I could have gone and woken her, got her out of the house but instead I walked out the basement and out the front door. I stood and just watched the house burn to the ground and I did nothing about it. I felt nothing about it, not one ounce of remorse.”
“You seem sad about it now,” I said.
He turned to me, his eyes very dark, “No, you don’t understand, I’m not upset about what I did. It disturbs me that I feel nothing, that I don’t feel bad. I killed her and I don’t feel one thing about it.”
I had to be very careful there, I didn’t want any shock to register on my face at all.
“Robert, you were neglected by your parents, abused by your aunt. I doubt anyone could feel anything after what you went through. You were probably traumatised.”
“Knowing that, does it bother you, Brooke? That at eleven I could kill someone and it not affect me,” he asked, his eyes bored into me.
In my head, I said to myself, “Hold it together, Brooke. Hold it together.”
I raised my hand to his face and he flinched a little. I stroked his cheek, soothing him.
“You were a little boy, Robert, you never got over what had happened to you. It doesn’t make you evil or bad.”
He let out a small laugh and shook his head at that comment but he pulled me to him and hugged me tight. We sat like that for a while, thoughts whirling around my head. He was not bad, he was abused, I kept
saying to myself. He feels no remorse because he was traumatised.
I pulled away from him and he looked at me, his eyes expecting to see something bad in mine; pity maybe, shock even, but instead all he got was a warm smile. I’d made a vow to forgive anything I found out about him. I knew what I was to learn would not be pleasant, but it would not deflect from what I felt.
“I love you,” I said quietly and I kissed him.
I’d learnt that giving myself to him comforted him, and I pulled him towards me falling back on the sofa. His hands tugged at my joggers, his jeans and he pushed himself into me; that was his only form of release. He held my hands above my head, his face in the crook of my neck and he fucked me, fast.
“I’m sorry, that was selfish of me,” he said after.
“Robert, you’re allowed to be selfish occasionally. Now I hope Travis or Evelyn weren’t taking a stroll, you’ve no blinds at these windows,” I said.
I felt him smile, “We can see out but no one can see in,” he said. I hadn’t noticed.
Later that night I slept fitfully, I couldn’t settle and in the early hours of the morning I crept out of bed. I put on Robert’s shirt and made my way upstairs. I made a cup of tea, and sat on the sofa. A full moon cast its glow over the lounge. I thought long and hard about what Robert had said. I could accept what he had done, he was an abused child, but I didn’t accept that he still felt nothing about it. I believed he’d just repressed his feelings, built a barrier so high and so strong around him because of what had happened, that he couldn’t get deep enough inside to find those feelings of remorse.
“This is what I didn’t want, Brooke,” Robert said, startling me. I looked up; he was standing behind the sofa.
I smiled and reached out to him with my hand, he came and sat with me.
“Robert, you have to understand, you’ve lived with this information for over twenty years, and you’re still processing it. I’ve only known for a few hours. No matter what you tell me, I’m not going anywhere. I love you, but you also have to give me a little time to digest what you’ve told me.”
He relaxed his head back and closed his eyes, “I’ve never met anyone like you, I’m blown away by how fast things are moving, but I’m worried for us.”
“What are you worried about?” I asked
“I don’t know. I want you and then I get scared I guess, and the easiest thing to do is to walk away.”
Seeing my look of alarm, he added, “I’m not going to, but when you want me to tell you things I have to battle inside. Part of me wants to tell you everything and part says this is way too hard. Like I’ve said before, Brooke. There is a lot about me that you don’t know.”
“Do you accept that for us to have a relationship, I do have to know some things about you, not everything, but enough to understand you?”
“Well, yes of course, but I have things to hide, a lifestyle that I don’t want catching up with me, for your sake as well as mine. I’m asking you, for now, for the time being, just be satisfied with what I’ve told you so far,” he said.
I nodded and smiled softly at him, “It’s hard loving you and not knowing you, but I won’t ask anymore.”
“Just accept me as I am now,” he said quietly.
I finished my tea and we headed back to bed.
***
Monday morning arrived and it was back to work for me. I was looking forward to seeing Sam, my plan of spending a holiday with him and Scott hadn’t worked out, but we had chatted over the weekend. Because he knew I was planning to stay, he was happy. I’d told Robert that morning that I wanted to spend the evening with Sam at his apartment. Scott was going to cook, there were blessing plans to discuss and I wanted to be involved. Sam also wanted to hear all about the ball, the dresses, and the people I’d met.
Robert and I arrived at work and went our separate ways for the day. I asked him to let me know what happened with Gina, if he thought I needed to, of course.
The time difference between the UK and Washington was making things a little tricky. I had missed a deadline on an important project. There was some artwork that needed approval before printing and a launch date getting uncomfortably close. I’d worried about that all morning.
“Hi, honey, are you ready for lunch?” Sam asked.
I should have worked through, caught up, but he was so keen to hear about my weekend, and I was feeling that I had been neglecting him that I agreed. I could have waited until that evening but decided an hour with him and Gabby would be all right. We headed off to the deli where Sam asked me about the ball.
“It was such a great night,” I said.
I told them about the people on the table, the meal, and the auction. I showed the necklace that still hung around my neck and as much as I shouldn’t have, about the incident with Miranda. I’d not told Sam about the photo, just that she was an ex of Robert’s that was not so keen on our relationship. I also mentioned that she was Gina’s friend.
“So, are you working for the company or still on your own thing?” Gabby asked.
“At the moment, still with my own company but I’m struggling a little. I don’t think my boss is too happy about the arrangement. I missed an important deadline on Friday and I must admit, I am dreading a phone call or email from him,” I replied.
“Won’t you work with us?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t been offered a job, but to be honest Gabby, it might be a bit odd, working for my partner. You guys are the only ones who talk to me, I’m not sure it would go down too well.”
“They think you’re a spy in the camp,” Sam said. “You know, reporting back, telling tales out of school,” he laughed.
“That’s stupid,” I said. “I don’t even know what you guys do. I mean I know you do corporate brochures for the businesses and stuff but to be honest, we don’t talk about work at all really.”
“So, don’t you know what businesses he owns then?” Gabby asked.
“Well, not really, I know some of it. I know about the hotels and the properties but other than that,” I shrugged my shoulders as I ate my sandwich.
“Aren’t you interested in what he does, I mean really does?” she said, emphasing the word really.
“You know more than me Gabby and to be honest, I’m dating the man not the company.”
“I imagine he has his fingers in many pies, not just the ones we publicise,” she said.
“Maybe, but I don’t really need to know,” I replied.
When lunch was over, we made our way back to the office. Something niggled in the back of my mind, something just out of reach but I put it to one side and opened an email from my boss. He was asking for me to call, urgently. I didn’t like the sound of it but taking my phone, I headed out of the main office. It was open plan and whatever the call was about I didn’t really want everyone overhearing.
On the same floor was the boardroom and I wondered if I could sneak in to make my call. Seeing that it was empty, I let myself in and leant my back against the door. I dialed and waited for a connection. As I waited that niggle came back. Gabby. It was the comment about knowing what Robert really did that stuck in my mind.
“Hello, Brooke,” my boss said, as he answered.
“Hi, Greg. I’m so sorry about missing that deadline on Friday, it’s all done now and I’ve sent the proofs with approval to the printers,” I quickly got in.
“Well, thanks for that but we have to talk about this. The time difference is a bit of a problem and to be frank we miss having someone here, at the heart of things. Clients are not too happy, not being able to contact you when they want.”
“Oh, Greg, I don’t want to make anything awkward for you. I know how much you value these clients.”
“I’ve got to be honest, I’m not sure this is going to work. I know it has only been a short while but already we’ve met with problems. The Honda guys want you here for the launch of their new bike, that’s in a couple of week’s time. I have Daniel who can cover but you
’re their account handler and they’re starting to ask questions, whether we are dedicated to their contract or not. I don’t want to lose them, Brooke.”
“Dan will be great, why don’t I call them, tell them I’m on extended leave and recommend Dan. They’ve met with him before and he’s more than capable of doing what I do.”
“That’s the point, Brooke. Dan is capable of doing what you can do and as much as I don’t want to lose you, he’s pushing for your job. Speak with Honda, satisfy them about Dan and we’ll talk tomorrow.”
I clicked off the phone, and a sinking feeling that I was about to lose my job settled in my stomach. I couldn’t blame Greg, we were a small agency, and to lose a major client like Honda would be a huge blow. Dan was great at his job, like to kiss the bosses arse too much for my liking. I had no doubt he would be sitting in my chair, at my desk. I felt I was at a major crossroads now. Maybe I should head back home, for a short while to sort out my job, do a proper handover. But that would mean leaving Robert, and I knew how desperately I would miss him. As I left the boardroom I was startled to see Gabby outside close to the door.
“Oh, hi,” she said. “Jonathan asked me to check whether the room was free for a meeting in a couple of minutes.”
“Sorry, Gabby. I needed to make a private call, it’s all yours,” I said, I then headed back to my desk.
For the rest of that day I had an uneasy feeling about my job, it took my mind off my little niggles. When five o’clock came I was pleased to turn off my computer and with Sam, head down to the foyer.
“Oh, I invited Gabby, hope you don’t mind,” Sam said as we saw her waiting, “I don’t think she has many friends here,” he added.
We got into the car and Mark drove the short distance to the apartment where introductions were made. We sat at the kitchen table while Scott cooked. I loved to watch Sam and Scott together, again so pleased that my best friend had found his true love.
We talked about wedding plans, or rather the blessing plans. Scott rolled his eyes at every suggestion Sam came up with.
Fallen Angel, Part 1 Page 18
