As Jeremiah rode into what remained of the city, his horse’s hooves scattered ash on both sides of him. He gasped as his lungs were filled with the stench of burning wood and death.
His eyes filled with tears as he looked from body to body. The glow of the moon pushed its way through the ash-filled air, showing Jeremiah and his friends just how horrendously the people of this new little town had died.
They had not had a chance against those who had come with hate in their hearts. Not a soul had been spared. He mourned for these people who had surely risen from their beds for a new day this morning with hope and love, and dreams of tomorrow.
Then Jeremiah recalled his purpose in coming to this horrific scene of death in the first place. For a moment the lovely woman had been forgotten in his horror at the bodies lying on the ground all around him.
“Nicole Tyler,” he whispered to himself as he glanced over at a sign bearing the name Tyler City, which had somehow made it through the devastation intact.
Yes, this had been Nicole’s destination. He had found out that much about her during their time together in the stagecoach. She had planned to join her parents there and become this small community’s schoolteacher.
“A community bearing her family’s name, no less,” he said, looking over at Jacob, who sat on his horse beside Jeremiah. “Jacob, it seems there were no survivors.”
“Unless those who did survive managed to escape without being seen,” Jacob said, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. “Lord a’mighty, Jeremiah, who could be so evil? How could anyone hate so much that they had no mercy on anyone?”
Jeremiah swallowed down vomit as he again looked slowly around him. “It’s certain there are no survivors here,” he said hoarsely. “But still, perhaps some escaped the wrath of those madmen. Perhaps Nicole arrived here after the massacre was over and then fled for her life, fearing the killers might find her there, alone.”
“They might even now still be near and see us gawking at what they left behind,” Jacob said, fear in his eyes and voice. “Jeremiah, we’d best head back for home. What if those who did this go to our little community and do the same? Lord a’mighty, Jeremiah, they might be there even now. Our women and children…”
“Do not borrow trouble, Jacob,” Jeremiah said. “I believe the killers are far, far away now, avoiding being caught by the cavalry. Isn’t there a fort anywhere near here?”
“No. If there were, the cavalry would be here now, burying the dead,” Jacob said tightly.
“As it is, that chore has been left to us, for there is no way that I could ever rest again without knowing that we did the right thing,” Jeremiah said.
“But, Jeremiah, the risk we would be taking by taking time to bury the dead is too great. Surely it’s not worth losing our own lives,” Jacob argued. “We have our wives and children to consider. Let’s go home, Jeremiah. Let’s go home now.”
Jeremiah ignored Jacob’s whining as he dismounted. He was so glad that the others who had come with them had not spoken out. They just sat on their horses, stunned and quiet.
“Come on,” Jeremiah said, looking from man to man. “There has to be a shovel somewhere. Maybe even more than one. We must start digging graves. Now!”
The men dismounted and secured their horses’ reins to a hitching rail that stood some distance away from the burned buildings. They found three shovels in the ashes and started digging graves beneath the moonlight.
“I wonder if Nicole arrived here just in time to be killed with the others?” Jeremiah worried aloud, ignoring Jacob’s frown.
Jeremiah laid his shovel aside, and fighting the urge to vomit again, he went to the first person that would be placed in the shallow grave he had managed to dig.
He swallowed hard, then grabbed the man by what was left of his wrists. He dragged the body over and rolled it into the grave. The other men followed suit.
“Indians sure didn’t do this,” Jeremiah said to Jacob as they each began digging another grave, side by side. “There were no arrows. That surely means this was done by white men, but what I don’t understand is how could white men hate other white people so much that they would kill them so heartlessly? Why would they do this? We Mormons teach love, not hate.”
“Jeremiah, you know as well as I that there is much hate in this world,” Jacob said, stopping to rest a moment as he leaned against his shovel. “It is not something that anyone can ever figure out. Let’s just get this done and return home to those we love. We can’t let anything like this happen to our peaceful little community.”
“Yes, you’re right,” Jeremiah said, stopping his digging when the grave was deep enough. He dreaded with every fiber of his being having to drag another body over to it. “Jacob, surely Nicole Tyler is still alive somewhere, for I don’t see her body here.”
“Unless she is one of those that can’t be identified because of how badly they are burned,” Jacob suggested softly.
“Yes, perhaps,” Jeremiah said. He sighed heavily. “But something deep inside tells me that she is still alive, somewhere.”
They all continued burying the dead until none were left to bury.
A quiet prayer was said over the graves, and then Jeremiah and his friends mounted their horses and headed back toward their homes.
Jeremiah knew now that he must forget the woman. Since he hadn’t found her body among the others, she could be anywhere, with anyone.
His duties awaited him back at the settlement. It just wasn’t meant for Nicole Tyler to be his third wife, and that was that.
Chapter Twelve
Although there was only a crescent moon on this second night that Nicole was with Eagle Wolf, it lighted the heavens and all that lay beneath. The sky was filled with a brilliant scattering of stars, twinkling brightly.
Every now and then the campfire Nicole and Eagle Wolf were sitting beside sent sparks into the air, looking like orange fireflies against the dark sky.
Nothing seemed real, though, to Nicole. Her life had changed so much in such a short period of time.
Was it truly only a few days ago that she was in St. Louis, content, with a bright future ahead of her?
How excited she’d been as she packed her belongings so that she could finally be with her parents again. It had been hard staying behind in St. Louis, until she had that teaching degree in her hand.
She had that degree now, but everything else she loved was gone from her.
Of course she still had her aunt Dot and uncle Zeb, who would welcome her back with open arms should she decide to return to St. Louis. But she had been very aware that their health was quickly failing.
In fact, they were not well enough to hear about what had happened to Nicole’s mother and father. Knowing such a thing would surely kill them.
Nicole decided she could not let them know about the tragedy in their family. St. Louis and their home could not be her destination.
If she returned there, her aunt and uncle would want to know why, and she couldn’t reveal the truth.
No, she would never tell them about the horrors of how her parents had died. She could hardly bear knowing it herself.
As she had slept last night, the scene of death that she had found at Tyler City came back to haunt her dreams.
Perhaps if she had been able to bury her parents, she might be able to sleep at night. But she hadn’t buried them, and she was afraid, still, to go near the town.
It was truly a ghost town now, with none but the dead to inhabit it.
Those who had lived there were merchants and their families who had been encouraged by her father to join in this new venture with him. Only months ago they’d built their establishments and their homes. They had decided to follow her father because they thought they were going to be part of a growing, prospering city. As they feverishly tried to reach their families when the shooting began, had they had the time to realize how disastrous that decision was?
Had any of them been able to be wi
th their loved ones when they were killed? Or had they died apart, never to see or hold one another again?
“Is the rabbit cooked well enough for you?”
The deep voice of the man she was so attracted to now broke through Nicole’s thoughts.
The day they had just spent together had been a little awkward. Both of them seemed to realize that they had feelings for each other, but both realized that carrying their feelings further was an impossible dream.
Nicole knew that Eagle Wolf’s people had cause to hate all whites, as did Eagle Wolf, himself. She would never be accepted by them.
Nevertheless, she had oh, so enjoyed these moments with him. Today, his fever was gone and he had been strong enough to hunt for their supper.
He had supplied the rabbit meat and she had supplied a pocketful of delicious berries that she had found while he had been on the hunt.
This evening meal with him would be cherished in her memory forever, for even though she had not told him, she knew it must be their last time to eat together.
Yes, tonight, after he fell asleep, she would sneak away and leave him to return to his normal life.
He had told her today, as they had talked eagerly, that he was well enough now to return to his people. He did not want to worry them unnecessarily.
His temperature was gone and the red spots were fading on his skin.
Yes, he had fought and won the battle with measles. He was free to return home and resume his duties as chief.
He had even confided in Nicole that he had not felt completely comfortable leaving his younger brother in charge.
He knew that his brother was power-hungry and would cherish these moments of leadership. He might enjoy them so much that he would wish to remain the Owl Clan’s chief.
Those words made Nicole shiver. Would his brother want Eagle Wolf out of his life permanently?
“The meat is delicious,” Nicole finally blurted out, having found herself once again immersed in disturbing thoughts.
But that had been the way the latter part of the day had been as they both tried to accept the fact that the instant attraction between them could lead nowhere.
They had not yet talked about how they would say good-bye and mean it.
She had decided that farewells would be too painful. After Eagle Wolf went to bed tonight, she would only pretend to fall asleep. She would slip away into the night while he lay asleep, thinking she would be there in the morning when he awakened.
“You have been so quiet,” Eagle Wolf said, searching Nicole’s eyes. “Even more so than usual. What have you been thinking about so hard?”
“Things I shouldn’t,” Nicole said, hoping he would suppose that she meant the massacre.
Oh, how could she leave?
Did she have the courage to sneak away into the night, feeling that she was leaving someone who might be her soul mate?
She believed she was born to be with him. It was obvious how they felt about each other as they talked and as they looked deeply into each other’s eyes. If one of them accidentally brushed a hand against the flesh of the other, it was as though they had touched heaven!
“You will never be able to forget what happened to your parents,” Eagle Wolf said, leaning toward the fire and dropping a bone into its flames. “But the memories will become less hurtful as time goes on.”
He relaxed again beside the fire, his stomach full. “In my time, I have seen too many die who should still be living and enjoying their families,” he continued. “It never gets easier to witness death. But eventually some peace enters your heart so that you can go on with your life. My people’s Great Spirit has always helped us through heartache, and given us the strength to accept that which caused the heartache. In time, you will think about your parents and only remember the good, not the bad. When you see them in your dreams, or your mind’s eye, you will see them smiling back at you. Know, always, they are with you even when you cannot see them.”
He placed a hand over his heart. “It is here, in your heart, that they will always remain,” he said thickly. “As long as your heart beats and you have an ounce of breath in you, they, too, still exist. That is what sustains us, knowing that we hold within us someone dear who may have passed on to the other side physically, yet spiritually remains still in the heart. Your parents will always be there to reach for so you still feel loved.”
“That is such a beautiful way to think about it,” Nicole said, marveling anew at this man’s ability to make her feel better about herself and her life.
She had felt such emptiness when she thought of how her parents had died. Now this wonderful man had explained to her how that emptiness could be filled with love and precious memories.
“I am telling you what I was told when I lost someone precious to me when I was a child,” Eagle Wolf said thickly. “It was a sister who died. In age, she came between myself and my brother. My sister left this world when she was only seven winters of age. She strayed too far from the safety circle of our people and lost her footing at the edge of a bluff. The entire village searched and searched for her when it was discovered that she had wandered from the village, alone. It was I who looked down from that bluff and saw her lying there so quiet…so…dead…so broken.”
“How horrible,” Nicole gasped. “You were too young to experience such a terrible thing as that. I am so sorry, Eagle Wolf. So very sorry.”
He smiled and placed his hand over his heart once again. “Remember? My sister is not gone,” he said softly. “She is here. I can feel her. I can see her. She is always with me, to make my day brighter. When I lay so ill with fever, she was there stroking my brow with a soft, cool cloth. I was too weak to awaken and thank her.”
Nicole’s eyes widened, for he had just described how she had sat there while he was unconscious with the worst of his fever. She herself had stroked his brow with the cool water she had brought from the stream.
She saw now how he might have believed that his sister had done this, for Nicole knew there was a part of Eagle Wolf that wanted it to be his sister.
“You can bring your parents into your mind’s eye however you wish to see them, and I know that you want to see them the way you remember them before the tragedy struck,” Eagle Wolf said, nodding. “Is that not so?”
“Yes, it is,” Nicole murmured.
An owl hooting from somewhere in the shadows interrupted their conversation, causing them both to look in that direction.
“Voices in the night that I am familiar with,” Eagle Wolf said, laughing softly. “And I believe that voice is telling me it is time for us to go to our blankets. Tomorrow is not so far away.”
He stood up and walked around the fire to Nicole. He bent down, gathered a blanket into his arms, and then held it out for her.
“Again you will sleep on this side of the fire and I, the other,” he said solemnly as their eyes met and held.
Nicole felt so much for him at this moment, it was hard not to fling herself into his arms and thank him over and over again for his kindness. He had made her feel so much better about everything.
He had such a mystical way of talking and thinking.
She longed to stay so that she could be with him forever.
When she gazed deep into his eyes, and saw emotion that matched her own feelings for him, she found it hard to believe that she would leave him tonight and surely never see him again, unless…
Unless he wanted her as badly as she wanted him, and came searching for her.
If he did find her, would he feel comfortable enough to take her to his home with him? Would he ignore how his people might feel about her?
She blinked her eyes in order to stop herself from thinking these things.
She smiled and accepted the blanket. Then she watched as he went and stretched out on his own.
Nicole spread her blanket and lay down upon it, fighting her feelings as each moment passed. Soon she would tiptoe into the darkness and perhaps never see him again.
>
She hated to think that she might never see his beautiful eyes and smile again, or feel that fleeting touch that seemed oh, so magical and sweet.
She ached for his arms!
She ached for his kiss!
She ached with all of her heart at what she must do.
As Eagle Wolf lay there, he wrestled with his own feelings. He knew how alone Nicole was in the world now, yet he also knew how much his people hated the white eyes.
He must trust that she would find her way to a white community. That was the only way it could be.
But he knew that he would always carry a sense of no longer being whole. This woman completed him.
Without her, life would be so lonely, so empty.
Yet he saw no other course except to tell her good-bye on the morrow.
It would be sad, but necessary.
Finally he fell asleep, only to have fitful dreams of watching Nicole ride away, his arms outstretched as he begged her not to go.
It seemed only a matter of moments since he had gone to sleep beneath the crescent moon, yet there it was dawn already, the birds overhead awakening him.
Believing he would find Nicole on the other side of the campfire, Eagle Wolf leaned up on an elbow to say good morning to her.
When he saw that Nicole was not there, he sat up quickly and looked toward where her horse had been tethered. It was gone, too. His heart sank, for he knew now that she had left while he slept.
He realized that she, too, would have found it hard to look into his eyes to say good-bye. He knew that she loved him as deeply as he loved her.
He was not certain how love could come so quickly and completely, but it had. Yet now that she was gone, he must leave, too, and return to his life…without her.
Dispirited, he rose from his blanket and prepared his horse for leaving.
Although he ached to hold Nicole and keep and protect her, ka-bike-hozhoni-bi, happy evermore, he mounted his horse and rode away in the direction of his home.
Yet he could not stop thinking about Nicole and where she might be, and whether or not she would remain safe.
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