by Rebecca King
“I can only hope that now he is engaged to Penelope he won’t be allowed to come chasing after me. After all, he is to be married soon and I am still a single female.”
“Yes, but you are effectively family,” Theresa argued.
“I am not his family,” Georgiana snapped, her eyes flashing fire.
Theresa looked reprimanded and threw her friend an apologetic glance. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to overset you.”
“He is not family,” Georgiana persisted. “Why does everyone see it in that way? He is from the upper echelons of society; the kind of world Penelope Smedgrove thrives in. Our family is lower gentry; wealthy but impoverished if you know what I mean?”
Theresa nodded not least because her family were even poorer than Georgiana’s. Still, the village saw Georgiana’s family as having close connections to Will and his relations so in everyone’s eyes that made them very close acquaintances. At least socially, if not financially, people considered them to be in the same circle.
Georgiana snorted. “Penelope is welcome to the oaf. I don’t care anymore.”
“Then why are you plotting your own downfall?” Theresa murmured gently.
Georgiana sat up, shrugging off the doubts that began to cloud her thoughts as she considered her friend’s words.
“I am not. I am just not prepared to live a stuffy old life in the middle of nowhere waiting for my parents to marry me off to someone I don’t wish to be with. I want a life, Theresa.” She couldn’t do anything about the whimsy in her voice as she spoke. “I want to be free of the restraints.”
“But if you ruin your reputation, you will never find a suitor,” Theresa protested.
“I don’t want one.” Georgiana sighed and flopped onto her stomach to pluck absently at the grass while she contemplated what else she could do. “I wonder what brandy tastes like.”
“Georgiana!” Theresa gasped.
Georgiana shrugged. “I have tasted it in milk. Cecily swears by it. If anybody is ill, they are always forced to drink it with milk, or with sugar and water. If it doesn’t make you sick, it supposedly settles your stomach.”
They both looked at each other.
“Sick,” they said together and returned to their musings.
“I want to experience what it is like to get drunk,” Georgiana declared with a frown. “Then I want to kiss a total stranger and walk away.”
Theresa started to laugh. “Just be careful you don’t do so on a dark night. You will have a lot to excuse if you end up picking out the vicar.”
Georgiana dropped her head in her hands. “I want to be able to kiss someone, and then just casually walk away, but not the vicar.”
“What if they stopped you and wanted more?” Theresa challenged, her brows lifted.
Given the ludicrousness of some of Georgiana’s musings, Theresa doubted her friend would ever bring them to fruition. They were the rather wayward ramblings of someone who had just had her heart broken and was desperately looking for a way to prove she didn’t care. While wiling away an afternoon by inventing ridiculously daring scrapes neither of them would have the strength, courage, or opportunity to make a reality seemed a relatively harmless thing to do, Theresa suspected that Georgiana would never outrun her love for Will, not least because she had a connection to Cranbury, and Will. Whenever she thought of home, she would invariably wonder about Will, and that would always bring back the hurt she was experiencing now. Still, she didn’t tell her friend that. Instead, in a determined effort to alleviate some of Georgiana’s distress, Theresa threw herself into Georgiana’s list with as much enthusiasm as her friend.
“I want to scrump for apples,” Georgiana declared after several moments of thoughtful silence.
“Georgiana, you are one and twenty. You cannot go about climbing trees. Not only will you never manage it in a dress without breaking your neck but you are a young woman not a child. It would be better to just pick up any fallen fruit off the floor. It is more ladylike.”
“It is not the same, though, is it? I mean, anybody can pick up fruit. The adventure lies in how you get the fruit. Climbing to the top of the tree is daring, reckless even, I will admit, but I will merely be sampling life and challenging myself to be something more than I am. If I try it and find I am not physically able to do it I can cross it off my list. I shall have to consider my limitations then but until I try to scrump, I have no idea whether I can do it or not.”
“I don’t doubt you can do it. It is just not proper,” Theresa protested. “What do you expect to do, tuck your dress into your undergarments and flash everything at the world while you forage in the leaves ten feet off the ground?”
Her mirth died when Georgiana looked steadily at her.
“Please tell me you don’t?” she begged, unsure whether she should laugh or cry.
“I have seen my brothers do it lots of times throughout my youth. It is something I could do too.” She glanced about them but there were no trees nearby for her to use to show her.
“Yes, but the last time Arthur tried it he broke his arm and wasn’t allowed out for weeks,” Theresa replied.
“Well, they can’t keep me housebound. Like you have just said, I am one and twenty. I am an adult. Most women my age are married with children by now.”
That made both young women fall into thoughtful silence.
“Mother wants me to go to Cambridgeshire to live for a while. My Uncle Cuthbert has sent an invitation,” Theresa confided sadly after a while. “My mother says I should be nearer to London so that I can engage in a more active social life.”
Georgiana nodded. “I am going to go to my Aunt Ruth’s.”
Theresa glanced at her. “But your mother hates your aunt more than everyone else.”
Georgiana grinned wryly. “Why do you think I am going?”
Theresa laughed but her mirth quickly died. “When do you leave?”
“As soon as possible,” Georgiana shrugged. “Tomorrow maybe.”
“Why don’t you tell them?” Theresa asked softly. “Your parent’s I mean?”
Georgiana shook her head.
“You have to leave them a note at least so they know you weren’t stolen in the night, or wandered off in a sleepy daze. They need to be made aware that this has been pre-planned, and at least have an idea of where you have gone,” Theresa said gently.
“No, they don’t.” Georgiana’s tone warned Theresa she wouldn’t budge on the issue.
“He deserves the old hag,” Theresa murmured several minutes later in an attempt to alleviate her friend’s despondency.
Georgiana tried a smile but failed miserably.
“Good morning, ladies.”
Georgiana closed her eyes and wished she could be anywhere else. She hated to have to turn around and even speak with him. It hurt too much and cost her more than she cared to admit to plaster a polite yet disinterested smile on her face and feign indifference as she stood.
“Good morning, my Lord,” Theresa murmured politely when Georgiana didn’t speak. She quickly rose and bobbed a curtsey.
Georgiana didn’t bother with either and remained motionless with her gaze pinned to the grass beneath her feet.
“It’s a wonderful day,” Will greeted, his concerned gaze studying Georgiana’s aloof expression as he spoke.
“Indeed it is,” Theresa replied politely.
The stilted silence which settled over the meadow became uncomfortable and warned Will that he had interrupted something important–and grave. He tried to find something to say that would break the awful atmosphere.
“How are you today, Miss Georgiana? Are you well?” He asked when it became clear Georgiana wasn’t going to try to converse with him.
Something is wrong with her, he thought.
“Yes, thank you,” she replied but still refused to meet his gaze.
“And your parents; are they well?”
“Yes, thank you,” she said.
Will sighed. He opened his m
outh to speak but Georgiana suddenly picked her bonnet up and proceeded to put it on as she turned away.
Without looking at him, to Theresa she said, “We need to go.”
Theresa nodded but hesitated. They needed to wait for him to move on before they left. To prevent Georgiana’s escape, she linked an arm through her friend’s, forcing her to mind her manners and stand still. Together, they presented him with a united front.
“Please accept our sincere felicitations for your good news,” Theresa murmured politely hoping he would take the hint.
Will lifted his brows at her.
“Pardon?”
Theresa repeated herself. “For your engagement,” she added when Will merely stared blankly at her.
Will nodded. He barely heard her because he was too busy studying the unhappiness on Georgiana’s face. He wanted to ask her what troubled her but didn’t want to put her in the position of having to exchange confidences in front of her friend. Instead, when neither lady appeared inclined to converse with him any further, he bade them a good day and left the meadow.
As he rode away, he glanced back at Georgiana, who remained still and motionless right until the moment he turned out of sight.
“Now, what can be wrong there then?” he mused aloud.
He shook his head and hoped she wasn’t concocting trouble. In all the time he had known Georgiana, she had never been as cold and aloof with him as she had been just now. It made him wonder if he had done something to upset her.
“It can’t be anything I have done,” he murmured aloud. “She was fine with me the last time we met.”
Indeed, she had been teasing him mercilessly about his inability to dance at the Hayes’ ball the other week. They had parted on good terms, so what could have gone wrong since then?
Whatever it is, it will show itself in time. I won’t challenge her over her problems right now. I will wait until I see her in more private circumstances, he thought. Maybe I am over-reacting. She was polite, if not particularly happy. What could be wrong with that? She doesn’t have to be effervescent every time we meet.
Still, deep in his gut something warned him that she had a problem and he needed to find out what it was to be able to decide what to do to help her. He didn’t stop to question whether he could help her. He would, purely because if there was one thing he hated more than anything else it was being at odds with people, especially Georgiana.
Georgiana watched him go and wished she never had to see him again but then immediately regretted it. It hurt, but she forced herself to watch him ride away. It was like a symbolic closing of a door: a door to the past and shattered dreams. It hurt to turn away from him-them, but she drew upon every ounce of fortitude she possessed and did just that. Now, if only she was able to put him out of her mind just as easily she might survive the rest of her life without him.
“I hate him,” she whispered without any hint of fervour or malice.
“No, you don’t,” Theresa replied sadly.
“I do,” Georgiana declared defiantly. “I really do. He is stupid, and blind, and deserves Penelope Smedgrove. I hope I never have to see him again.”
“Oh, Georgiana,” Theresa cried.
“I mean it,” Georgiana snapped with an indignant sniff. She looked at her friend and, in that moment, made a decision. “I am not going home for a while. I need to walk over to Gilman.”
“Gilman? But that’s miles away,” Theresa replied with a frown. “What do you want to go there for?”
“I need to buy a coaching ticket to Aunt Ruth’s,” Georgiana replied.
She had brought her pouch of coins with her and hoped she had enough to buy a ticket that would take her all the way to her aunt’s without stopping. If not, she would have to dip in to her secret stash of funds and buy an additional ticket if needed.
“But surely your Papa should do that?” Theresa gasped as she followed her out of the meadow.
Georgiana looked at her. “It is purchasing a coaching ticket, Theresa. Even I am perfectly capable of doing that by myself. I am not completely helpless.” Her voice was considerably sharper than she intended but she made no apology for it.
“Why does everyone treat me as though I am incapable of doing even the simplest things?” Georgiana snapped as she clambered over the gate and dropped onto the lane beyond.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Theresa gushed. “I am sorry, Georgiana.”
Aware that she had been unnecessarily harsh, Georgiana offered her a half-hearted smile which didn’t quite meet her eyes.
“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to be so churlish. I am just at odds today,” she sighed.
“You have every right to be,” Theresa murmured soothingly, completely understanding her friend’s emotional state. “You are a little upset today that is all. Once the news has settled in a little, it won’t be so bad. You’ll see. This is all a storm in a teacup.”
Georgiana looked at her friend but didn’t reply. This ‘upset’ was considerably more than a storm in a teacup–it was huge hurricane that had blown everything into a million tiny pieces and she couldn’t pick them back up again.
CHAPTER FOUR
Later that day, with a coaching ticket to Mecklemerry, her Aunt Ruth’s village, clutched in her hand, Georgiana walked back to Cranbury. With each step she took she grew increasingly reluctant to go back at all, even for a few hours’ sleep.
As she walked she contemplated just how much screeching her mother would do about the length of time she had been gone. It was horrible to admit even to herself that unlike most people, she wasn’t planning what to do once she reached the safe confines of her bed chamber. No, she was contemplating just how long she would have to endure her mother making pointed references to her wayward and selfish daughter. Even taking a little time today for herself had made her life more unbearable and staying in Cranbury virtually impossible.
Determined not to worry about the place she lived until she reached it, Georgiana turned her thoughts to the list of adventures she wanted to try. She did indeed want to experience everything, and more besides. Although her friend considered it a pipe-dream, Georgiana had no doubt it was considerably more than that. Her need to spread her wings a little had nothing to do with her broken heart. It was a very real and very personal cry for freedom and something that if denied would cause her even more heartbreak.
“I am going to live with my aunt and I don’t care if anybody likes it or not,” she declared defiantly as she sauntered slowly down the lane.
Of course, there was one person she hadn’t considered in all of this–her aunt. She had no idea if Ruth was even at home right now and wasn’t able to find out until she got there. Her plans would all go horribly wrong if she travelled all that way only to find Ruth had gone away somewhere, and was not expected back for several weeks.
Now that the day had warmed up, and Georgiana had spent the better part of the afternoon walking, she was hot, sweaty and tired.
“Tilpit lake,” she whispered aloud as she studied the long line of trees in the distance.
The mental image of the pristine waters of the small lake she often visited when she wanted time alone suddenly swam to the forefront of her mind. The villagers rarely ventured near the lake or woods because of its haunted reputation. The lake itself was surrounded by a tangle of weeds, and was extremely difficult to get even in the height of summer, but was the perfect place for her to rest and gather her thoughts before she faced going home.
Without giving it a moment’s thought, she went in search of the path that would take her where she needed to go. All the while, she contemplated how early she would need to leave the house in the morning to reach the coaching office in time to catch her coach. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the solitary rider behind her.
Will recognised Georgiana even from a distance. He immediately grew annoyed that her friend didn’t seem to be with her.
“Damned fool female,” he grumbled as he
studied her retreating back.
He nudged his horse after her, and decided to try to find out what troubled her right there and then.
It helps that you don’t want to go home, and are happy to find a diversion that delays it, a small voice warned him, but he ignored it, mainly because it was the truth.
The huge manor house he had just taken over from his father was the last place he wanted to be right now, not least because every time he stepped through the door his mother appeared and began to bleat on about marriage.
Eager to forget all about it, he focused his attention on his quarry, and urged his horse to walk faster when Georgiana disappeared into the trees.
Georgiana’s stomach flipped nervously as she contemplated what she intended to do. She had been to this lake on many occasions in the past but had never once even considered skinny dipping in it. Now, it was something she was going to try while the opportunity was there.
“I must be mad,” she muttered under her breath. In spite of her words she lifted her skirts and stepped over the debris littering the forest floor until she reached the small lake nestled deep within the foliage.
“If I don’t try it, I won’t know if I like it,” she whispered. “This is for me, not them.”
Once at the lake she studied the trees surrounding it carefully in case she was not alone. The only sounds were the rustling of the leaves high above and the occasional tweet of a bird. Still, vulnerability hovered over her. It felt as though she was about to commit a sin which was ridiculous really because she was hurting nobody. If anybody was going to come out of this the worse for wear, it would be her when she ended up with influenza from the cold water.
Before she talked herself out of it, Georgiana began to remove her boots. Her hands visibly shook as she removed her shawl and undid the buttons on her dress. She studied the trees all the time, and positively trembled with trepidation by the time she managed to remove her outer clothing. It was, by far, the most risqué thing she had ever done in her life. It was as terrifying as it was invigorating, and she wasn’t naked yet.
