by J; P Voelkel
Raul looked at Uncle Ted, who gave a little nod to confirm Max’s story.
If there was one thing Raul had learned in a lifetime’s butlering, it was to keep cool under all circumstances. He drew upon that training now, bowing low to the monkey as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
“I am honored to meet you, Your Majesty,” he said.
“Likewise,” she said, “but please call me Lady Coco. Now tell me, Raul, is that banana bread I smell? With just a little hint of nutmeg, if I’m not mistaken?”
“My secret recipe,” said Raul, with a wink.
“Perhaps I can persuade you to share it.” She giggled flirtatiously. “Would you be so kind as to give me a tour of the kitchens?”
“But, of course, Lady Coco,” said the butler. “Follow me.”
“Raul—such a manly name …,” came Lady Coco’s voice as they disappeared down the corridor together, deep in conversation.
“Apparently, monkeys have extraordinary powers of recovery,” Uncle Ted commented with a smile. “Looks like Lady Coco’s fine.” He patted Lord 6-Dog gently on the back. “There’s a vet on his way to look at His Majesty here. Meanwhile, we should just let him sleep.”
He laid the unconscious monkey down on a sofa in the great hall.
“Now, ladies and gentlemen,” he said, “there’s just time to freshen up before brunch. Let’s meet on the terrace in twenty minutes.”
Max and Uncle Ted made it in fifteen.
“I just wanted to say to you, Uncle Ted, that, well, you said you weren’t the hero type, but you saved my life yesterday. Pushing the captain off the boat like that …”
“No, Max, you were the hero. You and Lucky Jim.”
“What made Lucky come and help me? I thought he didn’t want anything to do with the ancient Maya.”
“Lucky has always thought the old ways were nothing but trouble. He wanted his people to join the modern world and leave all that superstition behind. But when he heard you say that Tzelek and Lord 6-Dog had returned, he realized that the past and the future are all one. He said it was time to stand up and be counted.”
“And now he’s trapped in Xibalba—”
“Those ancient Maya won’t know what’s hit them when they meet Lucky Jim!” interrupted Uncle Ted with a chuckle. “I have a feeling he can look after himself.”
“This is a lovely house, Mr. Murphy,” said Lola as she sat down opposite Max. She was wearing one of Uncle Ted’s linen shirts as a very fetching dress. The skin on her arms was red from scrubbing, but it still had a distinct blue tinge.
“So what was it like,” asked Max, “being a human sacrifice?”
“Max!” protested Uncle Ted. “I’m sure Lola doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“I honestly don’t remember,” she said.
“What? Nothing at all?”
“Well, I remember when you left me sitting on the steps with the Black Jaguar. And I remember Hermanjilio coming down to get it. He was standing over me with those red eyes. …” Her voice was little more than a whisper.
Uncle Ted put an arm around her.
“It’s okay,” he said, “you’re safe now.”
Safe. Such a cozy, comforting word, thought Max. A word that couldn’t apply to him until he’d sorted out this deal with the Death Lords.
His reverie was interrupted by the arrival of his parents.
“Buongiorno,” trilled his mother, looking like her old, well-groomed, shiny-haired self. She’d wrapped one of Uncle Ted’s white tablecloths around her as a long dress, with a hibiscus flower for a corsage. She was as elegant as any New York socialite arriving at a dinner party.
With perfect timing, Raul appeared with a huge serving dish of crispy bacon and juicy sausages and a platter piled high with barbecued ribs and steaks. These were soon joined by plates of scrambled eggs, fried eggs, and golden hash browns; racks of thickly sliced buttered toast and all kinds of jams; baskets of banana bread, bagels, doughnuts, and pastries; a massive bowl of tropical fruit salad; homemade yogurt; and jugs of cream. Finally, when there was not an inch of space left on the table, he came out empty-handed and whispered something to Uncle Ted.
“Excuse me, everyone,” said Uncle Ted. “Please start without me, and I’ll be back in a moment.”
For the next few minutes, Max forgot everything that had happened and concentrated on eating. He felt like a warrior returning home to a victory feast. It was only when he thought his stomach was so full it might explode that he applied his mind to the situation again.
“So what was it like in Xibalba?” he asked his parents.
“Wet and misty and cold,” said his mother, “like Venice in winter. Everything was in black and white, except for the flaming torches on the street corners and the blood-red water in the canals.”
“Hermanjilio thought you’d be in some sort of waiting room,” said Lola.
“Exactly right.” Max’s father nodded. “Mostly, we passed the time talking about you, Max.”
“What were you saying about me?” he asked.
“For one thing,” said his mother, “we agreed that we would never again go away without you. We want to enjoy every second with you while we can.”
Max laughed nervously. “You make it sound like I’m going to die or something.”
His father put down his knife and fork and looked at him with misty eyes. “I’ve learned my lesson, I promise you. I’ve had a lot of time to think about things, Max. From now on, we’re going to do a lot more together, you and me.”
“We are? Like what?”
“Well … let me see. …” His father cast around for suitable activities. “You could teach me to play some of those exciting video games of yours.”
“Actually, Dad, I think I’ve had all the excitement I can take for a while. But you could teach me more about the ancient Maya. I hate to admit it, but they’re not as boring as I thought.”
His father beamed at him.
“What’s that on your tooth, Dad?”
Carla rolled her eyes. “I told him he’d regret it, but he wouldn’t listen.”
Max’s father pulled down his lower lip to reveal a small piece of jade studded into one of his bottom teeth. “I took the opportunity to research ancient Maya cosmetic dentistry. It was all the rage in their day.”
“Cool!” said Max. “Can I get one of those?”
“No!” said his mother firmly. “It looks like a piece of creamed spinach.”
“How about a nose ring? Or some body piercing? Or a tattoo?” wheedled Max. “It’s all very Maya. …”
“No! No! No!” His mother laughed and threw her hands up in mock despair.
Uncle Ted slipped back into his chair at the head of the table. As soon she saw his face, Carla stopped laughing.
“That was the chief of police,” he said. “I called him from Landa’s yacht last night, once I was sure Max had made land safely. The whole force came speeding out and searched the yacht from top to bottom. Turns out they’ve been after Count de Landa for quite a while.”
“So what’s the news?” asked Max.
Uncle Ted looked nervously at Lola. “Not good, I’m afraid. Antonio de Landa has vanished without trace, and his yacht has disappeared from police custody.”
“So he’s still out there, flicking his cape somewhere,” muttered Lola.
Max sniggered.
“It’s no laughing matter,” said Uncle Ted. “He’s a dangerous man and he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.”
“But what does he want?” asked Max. “The Jaguar Stones?”
“Something even more precious by the look of things,” said Uncle Ted. “The police found these when they searched his yacht.” He handed Lola an envelope, and she looked inside.
“They’re photographs,” she whispered. “Of me.”
“Apparently, he had hundreds of them. Your face, your eyes, your nose, your ears … all taken long-range. He seems to be obsessed with you.”
She put her face in her hands. “Why me?”
“Whatever Landa’s up to,” said Uncle Ted, “you can’t go back to Itzamna on your own. It’s just not safe.”
Lola looked down at the table. “I’ll be fine,” she said. “I’m used to looking after myself.”
“A loner, eh?” said Uncle Ted. “What will you do?”
Lola shrugged. “Maybe I’ll go back to Utsal. I could carry on with my studies, sort through Hermanjilio’s notes, get all his research ready for when he comes back. …”
“You can’t go back to Utsal,” protested Max. “Chan Kan will try to marry you off to someone.”
“Then I’ll go to Limón,” said Lola. “I told you, I’ll be fine.”
“You know, Lola,” said Uncle Ted, “I used to think of myself as a loner, until young Max here changed my mind. This big house felt very empty without him. I was wondering if you’d like to stay here until Hermanjilio gets back. I could be your temporary guardian. You could go to school in Puerto Muerto, and I’m sure we could persuade Max to come and visit now and again.”
“It’s a great idea!” agreed Max.
“What do you think, Lola?” asked Uncle Ted.
“It’s very kind of you, Mr. Murphy,” she began politely, “but I couldn’t. I don’t think … it’s just that … well, Hermanjilio said … I mean, I don’t …” She was tying herself up in knots, trying not to offend him.
“What are you trying to say?” cut in Uncle Ted gently.
“You’re a smuggler!” she blurted.
Silence fell around the table. Max thought he detected the hint of a smirk on his father’s face, but no one said anything. They were all waiting to see Uncle Ted’s reaction.
“Oh, that,” he said. “Truth to tell, after my brush with Landa, I’ve lost the taste for it. If you’d do me the honor of living under my roof, Lola, I promise to give up my little sideline. I might even take up painting again.”
“Say yes! Say yes!” urged Max.
Lola looked around the table. Everyone, including Raul and Lady Coco, was nodding furiously.
“I’ll think about it,” she said. But she was smiling.
“Splendid!” said Uncle Ted. “That’s settled, then.” He looked happier than Max had ever seen him.
“More coffee, sir?” asked Raul. “And perhaps you’d like to sample one of Her Majesty’s muffins?”
“I beg your pardon?” said Uncle Ted.
His eyes fell on Lady Coco, who was standing behind Raul, wearing a child-size white apron and carrying a tray of little cakes.
“Cashew and mango,” she said proudly. “I made them myself.”
“I didn’t know you could cook, Lady Coco,” said Max.
“Ah yes, young lord. Even queens had to make tortillas for their families. And my tortillas were famous throughout the Monkey River.”
“Excuse me, Lady Coco,” ventured Max’s mother, “but I’d love to know what you think of the kitchen here at the villa. It must be very different from what you were used to in the palace at Itzamna.”
Lady Coco’s little monkey face lit up like Times Square. “It’s amazing!” she gibbered. “Raul showed me everything! That mixing machine and the refrigerating unit and the cooking fire that turns on and off. … Even the greatest brains of the mighty Maya did not invent such things!”
Max’s father shook his head in amazement. “I don’t know what’s harder to take in,” he said. “An ancient Maya queen singing the praises of modern kitchen appliances—or a talking howler monkey!”
“They’ll never believe this back at Harvard, that’s for sure,” agreed Max’s mother.
“Speaking of which,” said his father, “are you looking forward to going back to Beantown, Max?”
Max considered the question. Not so long ago, back in Boston was the only place he wanted to be. But now he wasn’t so sure.
“I guess so,” he said. He looked at Lola. “But I’m going to miss this place.”
His mother smiled. “I hope normal life won’t be too boring for you, after all these adventures.”
Normal life? Max thought about the words. What was normal?
His mother was wearing a tablecloth. His father had a jade-inlaid tooth. They certainly weren’t normal parents. But now he knew that was a good thing. He wasn’t sure what he’d promised to get them back, but it was worth it.
Wasn’t it?
“Mom,” he said, “I’ve been wanting to ask you about Zia. …”
But his mother was deep in conversation with Lola about Maya weaving techniques. As Max waited for an opportunity to interrupt, a yellow butterfly landed on his hand. He tried to flick it away, but it clung on.
“What do you want?” he muttered. “Leave me alone.”
The butterfly waved its antennae at him.
“You’re making a big mistake,” he whispered. “I can’t help you. I’m not the one. I’d pick another champion if I were you.”
The butterfly hovered in front of his face for a moment and then did a little dance, fluttering backward and forward between his chair and the glass doors that led from the terrace into the house. Even Max could not ignore the butterfly’s meaning. It wanted him to follow it.
Curious to find out what the insect was trying to tell him, he got up and wandered into the house. He was going to go up to his room, but a movement in the great hall caught his eye. He went in to check on Lord 6-Dog.
An extraordinary scene awaited him.
The monkey king was sitting on top of his own great stone head, staring across at the head of Tzelek. The vet had obviously come and gone, as 6-Dog was patched and bandaged.
“Thy devilish scheme has failed,” he was saying to the statue of his rival. “But like a rat who can squeeze through the smallest of holes, thou wilt find a way out of Xibalba. So hurry back to Middleworld, Tzelek, for we have unfinished business. There is still a great battle in the stars for thee and me. But I warn thee, the world has changed and so have I. We are no longer brothers. So go ahead and lay thine evil plans. I will be waiting for thee.”
After a few moments, Lord 6-Dog noticed Max standing below and climbed down to him. “We have no time to lose, young lord,” he said. “I will teach thee everything I know and then, shoulder to shoulder, we will face the legions of hell.”
The legions of hell were coming for him.
“I can’t do it,” whispered Max. “I’m afraid.”
“What talk is this, young lord?” said Lord 6-Dog kindly. “And thou a noble warrior? Did we not fight alongside each other on the Black Pyramid? And hast thou not learnt that anything is possible? Why, if the great Lord 6-Dog can hang from a tree by his tail, who knows what else can happen? Perhaps a boy with hair as red as fire can defeat the powers of evil like the blazing Sun Jaguar defeats the night.”
“My hair is brown, actually,” said Max. “Do you really think I stand a chance against the Death Lords?”
Lord 6-Dog bared his monkey teeth in what he hoped was a reassuring grin and hid his crossed fingers behind his hairy back.
“Of course I do. Now let us get to work.”
GLOSSARY
AH PUKUH (awe pooh coo): God of violent and unnatural death, depicted in Maya art as a bloated, decomposing corpse or a cigar-smoking skeleton. His constant companions are dogs and owls, both considered omens of death. Ah Pukuh wears bells to warn people of his approach (possibly an unnecessary precaution, since one of his nicknames is Kisin, or “the flatulent one,” so you’d probably smell him coming, anyway).
BAKABS (baw cobs): Four brothers, the sons of ITZAMNA and IXCHEL, who stand at the corners of the world and support the heavens.
BALCHÉ (ball chay): A ritual drink brewed from fermented honey, water, and the bark of the purple-flowered balché tree.
CENOTE (say note eh): A deep, water-filled sinkhole, like a natural reservoir. There are at least three thousand cenotes in the Yucatán. The name is a Spanish corruption of the Yucatec Maya word tz’onot.
CHAHK (chalk): God of storms and warfare, Chahk was one of the oldest and most revered of the ancient Maya deities. He has two tusklike breath scrolls emitting from his mouth to convey his humid nature; bulging eyes; and a long, turned-up nose. Frogs were thought to be his heralds, because they croak before it rains. Just as the Norse god Thor carries Mjolnir, his enchanted hammer, so Chahk wields the god K’AWIIL as his fiery lightning ax.
CHICLE (cheek lay): A natural gum made from boiling the milky latex of the sapodilla tree. Chicle had been chewed by the Maya for centuries but didn’t reach North America until 1870 when Thomas Adams, a New York inventor, opened the world’s first chewing gum factory. These days, manufacturers mostly use synthetic rubber.
CODEX (plural CODICES): Strictly speaking, any book with pages (as opposed to a scroll) is a codex, but the term is most closely associated with the books of the ancient Maya. Written and illustrated on long strips of bark paper or leather, folded accordion-style, these books painstakingly recorded Maya history, religion, mythology, astronomy, and agricultural cycles. All but three were destroyed during the Spanish conquest. (See DIEGO DE LANDA below.)
GLYPHS: The name given to more than eight hundred different signs used by the Maya to write their books and stone inscriptions. The Maya writing system incorporates signs for sounds and signs for whole words. It is considered to be the most sophisticated system ever developed in MESOAMERICA and did not begin to be decoded until the 1950s. About 80 percent of the most common glyphs have now been deciphered.
HERO TWINS: The twin brothers Xbalanke (sh-ball-on-kay) and Hunahpu (who gnaw poo) are the main characters in the Maya creation story. Like their father and uncle before them, the twins are challenged to a ball game in XIBALBA by the LORDS OF DEATH. But where their father and uncle died in the attempt, the twins outwit the Death Lords and take their places in the heavens as the sun and the moon. Their father is resurrected as HUUN IXIM, the Maize God. The story of the Hero Twins is part of the Maya creation story, as told in the POPOL VUH.
